Special Class
"I... I'll kill you...!"
Even as she groaned in agony, Jessica's glare never wavered for a second. It was a sight worthy of admiration, unyielding to the end.
But grit alone couldn't overcome the limits of her body. Before long, Jessica's eyes fluttered shut again.
"Ah..."
The moment the only one who'd come to save her collapsed, a collective sigh of utter despair escaped the lips of the beaten gang.
I gently laid Jessica on the ground for a moment and turned to face the gang, their faces frozen in shock.
The moment they saw my face, what little hope they'd clung to vanished entirely. They squeezed their eyes shut, bracing for the violence to come.
But contrary to their expectations, I had no intention of laying into them again.
"Eh... the thrill's gone. I even got to hit Jessica, so that's enough for now."
"...Y-Yes?"
Hearing that, they cracked their eyes open one by one, staring at me in disbelief.
"Hey, you lot who are sprawled out there—you can drag each other off, right?"
Instead of answering, they nodded so vigorously it looked like their necks might snap.
"Good. Then from next time..."
"Fr-From next time, we absolutely won't do this again!! We swear!!"
"Nah, that's not it. Next time, bring more numbers. Gotta have a wider variety of punching bags, y'know?"
"...Yes."
I glanced at the guy who nodded limply, then scooped Jessica into my arms and left the training ground, already looking forward to their return.
Those guys were total wimps, so Jessica wouldn't have to worry about getting face-fucked or anything, but I couldn't just leave her there.
Craddling the roll-bread-haired noble lady in the most fitting way possible, I headed back to S-Class.
"Huh? Why are you here...?"
When I returned to the classroom, waiting there wasn't our homeroom teacher Peter van Fortress, but Marina Snowwhite.
She alternated her gaze between me and the Jessica in my arms, then swept a hand over her face with a sigh.
"...Ian, explain what happened."
"...Nothing happened...!!!"
If I recounted the whole thing exactly as it went down, this woman who already saw me as a thorn in her side would no doubt pin all the blame on me.
I didn't care about house arrest or demerits, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of gloating any more than she already had.
"...Nothing happened...?"
"...Nothing happened...!!!"
Her eyes drifted from mine, just a bit lower—to the footprint stamped on my chest.
"...Then what's that footprint on your chest?"
"...Nothing happened...!!!"
"Your shoulders and sleeves are splattered with what look like bloodstains that flew onto you from someone else's body..."
"...Nothing happened...!!!"
"And the Jessica you're holding so preciously right now..."
Before Marina could finish, I hurled the Jessica in my arms straight at Rain.
"Guh...! You lunatic...!!"
Maybe because it was the second time, Rain caught her far more smoothly than the first.
"...I wasn't holding anything...!!!"
"...Casual speech?"
Running out of nitpicks? As Marina shot me a prickly look, I hurried to respond.
"...Nothing happened, ma'am...!!!"
"...Just sit down already."
"Yes, ma'am."
With all her ammo spent, Marina sighed and pointed to my seat.
I sat immediately to avoid any more weird complaints. She scanned the classroom—only three of us left—and let out another sigh.
"First off, Peter was supposed to be here, but he's mentally and physically exhausted right now, so I apologize on his behalf."
"Figures."
"...Ian, keep your mouth shut until I'm done."
"I refuse! No one can take away my freedom of speech!"
"Headmaster... arguing with this guy is a waste of time. Just ignore him and get to the point."
"...Very well. In any case, until Peter recovers from his wounds, body and soul, we'll be doing self-study instead."
"Amateur punk... Can't handle a little pain, huh? Quitting class over something like that?"
A lifetime honing trash weapons unfit for Battōjutsu had rotted his mind.
If Peter had learned Battōjutsu, he'd have hopped in here on one leg to teach, even if I'd sliced him in half vertically.
"Sigh... Anyway, as I said, Peter won't be teaching for a while. I could arrange a substitute, but at your level, you'd probably learn more without one."
"...Understood. I'll pass it on to Lady Jessica once she wakes up."
"I can do it!"
"Rain, please handle it. That's all for announcements. Ian, stay behind—we still have business."
"Business?"
Understanding she wanted the room cleared, Rain left with the unconscious Jessica in tow.
Now it was just me, Marina, and the passed-out Jessica. Marina spoke up.
"So, what I have to say is this."
"...Starting tomorrow, as punishment for all your misbehavior so far, you'll attend special classes on top of your regular knight department lessons."
"Special classes...? Punishment? Students can duel teachers, what's the big deal!!"
The ice queen sticking her nose into a warrior's business?
I scowled in disbelief, unable to continue. Marina pressed on.
"No student in academy history has ever challenged a teacher to a duel."
"Then I'm the historic first."
"If you don't want school life to get even harder, cut the wordplay. Now, about these special classes..."
Marina waved her hand a few times, and a black hole ripped open in midair. Several thick books tumbled out onto the desk.
"I'll say this upfront: I don't teach magic or wimpy combat techniques."
"Who said anything about teaching magic? Quit babbling and look at the covers."
"Covers?"
What the hell was she planning to teach? I glanced at the books. The titles were absurdly out of left field.
"Proper Chivalry?"
The others read Proper Conduct as Taught by the Sages and Knightly Morals.
Anyone could tell these were packed with crap I didn't need. I tilted my head.
"You grab the wrong books?"
"No, these are right. This is exactly what you're lacking most: morals and ethics."
"...Pardon?"
It made zero sense. Me, born in the land of scholars, lacking morals and ethics?
Me, who indirectly inherited the spirit of the Greatest Sword of the Middle Kingdom, lacking morals?
"Quit harassing me with this nonsense and just slap me with some demerits coolly. Is this hysterics 'cause you can't get hitched?!"
"Urk...!!"
The second those words left my mouth, Marina's face twisted, and mana roared through the air. Desks and chairs began floating.
"Ah! Jessica...!"
Jessica, laid out on the desk, nearly tumbled to the floor, but I caught her just in time.
Almost hurting a student in a fit of rage. Was this woman really fit to run an educational institution?
If Jessica had cracked her head and undone those roll-bread locks, her life would've ended with her hairdo—true death.
"Seems to me morals are what you need, Headmaster."
"Shut it! That's exactly why your arrogance demands this education!!"
Somewhat calmed, the floating furniture settled back. I laid Jessica on the desk again.
"Fine, I'll admit I bear some responsibility for what's happened."
"Some...?"
"Yeah, some. Forgot already? This all started 'cause Peter attacked me without even checking properly."
"..."
Even if I'd provoked him, the fact remained: Peter lit the fuse. Undeniable.
Separate from her dislike of me, Marina couldn't deny it. She blatantly shifted gears.
"Ahem...! Regardless of Peter, the way you treat Lady Jessica proves your manners are the issue."
"So, what, manners class?"
"Yes. As a noble, you lack refinement, social graces, and basic humanity. You barely have any friends, right?"
"Hah..."
Marina lectured me, suggesting I take this chance to build some social skills.
But I couldn't accept that. Back on Earth too—I didn't lack friends; I just didn't make them.
It wasn't for lack of trying. Never that.
"Headmaster, one question about these classes?"
"Suddenly interested? Ask away."
"Sure. If I take them, who teaches the social skills part?"
"Me, obviously, since I brought it up."
"Nah, won't work. A friendless loner teaching social skills? That's a joke."
"Guh...!!"
My words hit home, dredging up bad memories—her face drained to ashen gray.
With my original knowledge, I knew: Marina had no friends in her school days!!
"Wh-What makes you say that? Me, friendless...?"
She played it cool, but her trembling voice gave her away.
Even in this world, Marina's head held no memories of fun school days with pals.
I piled on, striking at the heart of her lonely school days—the question no solitary studier could answer.
"Name three people you were close with back in school, then."
You, who studied alone in those days, could never!!