First Class (1)
“...What did you just say?”
A morning that had started off so pleasantly turned into the worst morning imaginable with just a single sentence.
The man who had brought news of Hawkins was trembling as he spoke, even though the guy in question wasn't anywhere nearby. What could possibly be so terrifying?
“W-well... your seniors failed. I saw them lying in the temple right now, and they...!”
Was it that pathetic a sight?
Not only was his voice shaking, but now even his hands were trembling. It was starting to piss me off for no reason.
In the end, despite my efforts to hold back, my impatience won out, and I snapped at him.
“Calm down and tell me what the hell happened!! I can't understand anything when you're shaking like this!!”
“Y-yes!! Apparently, the wounds themselves aren't serious, according to the priest... But his mind is in bad shape...”
“His mind...?”
This guy was from the Knight Department too. Did that mean he could use mental magic or something?
“What exactly happened to his mind?”
“Well... they say he writhes in agony whenever he hears the word battōjutsu. From what I heard, he foams at the mouth and has seizures like a madman...”
“Battōjutsu?”
Battōjutsu? What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Was it Hawkins who'd been hit by a mental attack, or this idiot?
The more information came in about that day's events, the deeper the truth sank into a labyrinth of confusion.
I was even starting to think it might be easier to just summon that guy Ian and ask him directly what happened.
“Lady Jessica! Over there...!!”
One of my followers pointed, and there he was—the man who'd been messing with my head lately—peeking from behind the door.
“Y-you...!!”
Ian, standing there shyly like some lovestruck girl, hesitated before stepping inside with cautious footsteps.
A few followers moved to block him, but they backed off after remembering the earlier story.
“...Why are you here?”
Was he here to keep that promise from a few days ago? Ian said nothing, just slowly approached me.
Seeing him come closer without a word, all shy-like, only made my unease grow.
...Is he here to get revenge on me for Hawkins?
Looking at him again, I noticed the katana at his waist, just like at the exchange meet.
Was he planning to cut me down right here?
I imagined a grim future and tried to pull back, but...
“...Huh?”
Before I could flinch away, Ian whipped out a letter envelope from his pocket and placed it on my desk.
“...What's this?”
Ian still didn't answer. He just nodded toward the letter on the desk, as if to say read it quick.
“......”
Hesitating, I picked up the envelope and examined it before opening it.
The paper was ordinary, nothing special—except for one thing.
...What's with all these hearts?
It was sealed with a heart-shaped sticker, the envelope was pink, and hearts were doodled all over it.
It looked exactly like a love letter from some pubescent girl—not something Ian would send.
What the hell could be inside...?
Whatever it was, it didn't seem normal. I didn't want to read it, but ignoring it now would mean running away.
I, daughter of the Pongrind Count, couldn't show such disgrace.
So, steeling myself to at least keep my dignity even if I got mad, I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter...
To the cute but dim-witted Jessica,
Your ragtag minions were honestly a letdown. If you were sending someone, I figured it'd at least be a family knight or an assassin.
Personal curiosity here, but you didn't seriously think those losers could beat me, right? Our smart little Jessica wouldn't have such a stupid idea—I believe that.
If you did, it just means the nutrients meant for your brain went to those massive, glorious twin rolls on the sides instead.
Anyway, rambling aside, next time I recommend consulting your Jessica Papa (since you're still a baby, it's Papa, not Daddy lol) before trying again.
If you need an excuse, I'll send you a love letter overflowing with my affection for you. You can use that as justification.
It pains my heart, but you could play it off like you got this sleazy, love-filled letter and need to take action against me.
Well, that's all from me. Signing off with infinite love for you and your twin rolls,
Ian Bar Tow.
“Hah...!! Hahhh...!!!”
The moment I finished reading, I couldn't hold back the boiling rage and panted like I'd sprinted full-tilt.
My grip had tightened midway, crumpling the letter beyond recognition.
I dropped the now ball-shaped wad on the floor and slowly stood, glaring at Ian.
“...Quite the unique letter.”
It wasn't too late yet. My composure had slipped a bit, but I could still salvage it.
Losing my temper now would just play into his hands.
I needed to regain my calm.
“Your vulgar sensibilities are truly well-refle――!”
“Isn't a vulgar winner better than a noble loser? Of course, even if our cute Jessica got vulgar, she still couldn't win.”
“Y-you filthy bastard!!!”
I flipped the desk in a rage I couldn't control and swung at his face—but his head wasn't there.
“Kyaaah!! Cute but dim-witted Jessica is going berserk!! She's gonna smash my head with that barbaric hammer!!”
Ian vanished in an instant and fled, screaming like a lunatic.
I pointed at him furiously, yelling for someone to grab him, but no one listened.
“Grab him right now!! Seize that vulgar scum!! I swear I'll crush his filthy skull with my own hands!!”
“Lady, calm down!! This won't achieve anything!!”
“He's right!! Yelling at a guy like that will only tarnish your reputation, Lady Jessica!!”
These cowards were too scared of the guy who beat Hawkins; they just tried to hold me back without stepping up.
By then, Ian had slipped out of the class, leaving only an unpleasant silence behind.
That guy...!! I'll kill him...! I swear I'll kill him!!
“Jessica's going berserk!!”
The day after parting with Hori, I'd successfully provoked Jessica as planned and was hightailing it back to my class.
Yesterday's Hawkins crew was a total letdown.
They had the grit to get back up after a beating, but I'd rather have punched a sandbag.
So, this provocation should at least make her send a family knight or an assassin—something tougher.
Not easy, but I trusted Jessica to evolve from twin-roll lady to villainous twin-roll lady.
Thinking that, I returned to class about a minute past the usual gathering time.
The cold stares hit me as soon as I entered, but I nodded lightly and said,
“Sorry I'm late.”
“...It's not that late. Take your seat, Ian.”
“Yes.”
Once everyone was seated, the teacher stood at the podium like he'd been waiting.
“As you all know, the Knight Department doesn't just teach swordsmanship.”
In the novel, the academy taught practical knowledge by department, regardless.
For knights, it was stuff like monster ecology or sword manuals.
But theory wasn't a big deal here—exams were easy enough to blank out on.
Everyone else must've heard the same from seniors or family; they looked bored at the word “theory.”
“Ahem... Anyway, that's enough on theory. Let's talk about class assignments, which I bet you're more interested in.”
At “class assignments,” everyone perked up.
“The assignment exam is at month's end, but it's not just that exam—they evaluate more.”
The spars leading up to it were even more crucial.
“First, you'll spar only within your class.”
Then, once top and bottom shake out, you face other classes.
Repeat for a month, logging matchups and affinities for scores.
Finally, end-of-month exam plus cumulative scores determine your class level.
“Spars start today! Head to the training grounds!”
“Yes!”
The teacher looked pleased at our roaring response.
Finally, the first day of class—or rather, the monumental first day of spreading Battōjutsu at the academy. lol