Roll Bread Blunders
All eyes turned to me.
Jessica stared at me with a dumbfounded expression, while Victor shot me a look full of reproach.
Even the maids, who had been standing behind Jessica like folding screens with their heads bowed, lifted their gazes in disbelief.
Well, it was only natural they'd react like that to my sudden question, but honestly, wasn't anyone else curious?
It couldn't possibly be natural hair like that—no curls or anything. Clearly, one of those maids had spent the morning styling it.
Actually, no single maid could pull off something that elaborate in a short time. More than a few of them must have swarmed around her.
Picture it: Jessica, still half-asleep, with maids clinging to either side, desperately fussing over her hair.
Not just any styling—they'd be meticulously adjusting the angle and tightness of those roll bread buns, one by one.
Every time she moved too vigorously and messed it up, or showered and undid the whole thing, those maids would sigh and start over. The thought made me chuckle involuntarily.
"…What's so funny?"
Of course, she was the type who mocked others without a second thought but couldn't tolerate being on the receiving end.
She furrowed her brow at my slight smirk, so I brushed it off casually.
"…Just nerves getting to me. Laughed without thinking."
"Haha! This guy's got a habit of laughing when he's tense! He absolutely wasn't mocking you, my lady—please forgive him graciously!"
"…Hmph."
With Victor's quick addendum, my rudeness finally crossed back into tolerable territory. Jessica turned her head away and spoke.
"I'm saying this for your own good, but you should avoid actions that could cause misunderstandings."
"Duly noted."
"Since the lady has been so gracious, I'm sure he's taken it to heart. Now, which department will you be in, my lady…?"
Victor tried to shift the tense atmosphere with a change of topic.
"……The Knight Department."
"I'm in the Magic-Knight Department! I was hoping to share a department with you—what a shame!"
"…Is that so. And you?"
Jessica brushed off Victor's obvious flattery and turned the question to me.
I stroked the katana at my waist, ever as familiar as my own body, and replied.
"Same—Knight Department."
"…A katana, huh. Do you know what weapon I use?"
What nonsense was this girl spouting all of a sudden?
She wasn't wearing anything obvious at her waist like me, and there weren't any clues to deduce from. What was I supposed to guess?
Victor, who clearly knew the answer, opened his mouth to clue me in, but I waved him off—I had no interest in his hints.
She wouldn't have said it without reason, so I observed her closely for a moment before speaking.
"Maybe… a drill?"
"…Are you picking a fight?"
Huh, wrong guess?
A drill was a pretty powerful weapon, even if not quite on par with a katana….
As Jessica's grip tightened on her fan, making it creak, Victor jumped in again.
"H-He was just trying to lighten the mood with a joke and slipped up! Even as a mistake, that's no way to talk! Apologize now!"
"Sorry."
Whether my sincere apology got through or not, Jessica let out a deep sigh and addressed us.
"……Haa, if we're both in the Knight Department, we'll cross paths during spars or whatever, even if we're in different classes. You two can go now."
Under her icy glare, Victor nodded vigorously.
"Yes! Yes! We'll take our leave then!"
With that, Victor grabbed my arm and practically dragged me out of the room.
This guy studied magic-knights, but damn, he had some real strength.
We made it down to the first floor, but Victor didn't stop—he pulled me to a secluded spot behind the annex where few people passed.
Confirming we were alone, he raised his voice at me.
"You, you… what the hell was that?! Why'd you pull that stunt?!"
"She told me to ask, so I did. What's the big deal? And be honest—you were curious about that roll bread hair too, right?"
"Roll bread? What are you even…?"
He tilted his head, clearly not getting it, his face twisting in annoyance.
"Lady Jessica's style is a bit old-fashioned, sure, but it's not that weird…."
"Old-fashioned?"
Twenty years in this world as Ian Bar Tow, and this was the first time I'd felt so acutely that it wasn't Earth.
If that was old-fashioned, was soft-serve ice cream some imperial court delicacy reserved for the king?
"Anyway!! Never pull that again! Think of your mother back home and never!! Got it?!"
"Got it. But what was that earlier, when she told me to guess her weapon?"
"Don't call her 'that bitch'… The von Grind Count family has produced renowned warriors for generations."
The founder of the von Grind family was a mercenary who felled countless foes with a single hammer, etching his name into history.
Like any sword clan, the von Grinds had honed the blunt weapon arts passed down from their founder—blunt techniques, perhaps?
Every member of the von Grind family, or those trained under them, wielded hammers or similar blunt weapons, a tradition unbroken to this day.
"…I see. So Jessica's the type who'd look like she swings a rapier but actually smashes skulls with a hammer?"
"Don't make her sound like a murderer! She was just born into that family!"
So when she said we'd spar, did she mean she'd bash my head in with a hammer?
"Hey, is the current head of the von Grind family strong?"
"Of course he is. Word is, no one in the region can stand against him."
"Hmm…."
"Why ask that? Normally, you'd inquire if Lady Jessica is strong."
"Nah, she's weak."
If we fought, it'd probably last about a minute.
She wasn't some small fry, but I didn't sense any real overwhelming power from her.
She could probably handle a bandit leader like that Brad guy I'd crushed recently, but nothing more special than that.
Jessica didn't pique my interest, but the von Grind head—the strongest in the region? Now that sounded intriguing.
"You won't know for sure without fighting, but he's probably not that strong."
"What have you been rambling about…?"
Just as Victor started pressing me, a murmur rose from the hall where everyone had gathered. I glanced over instinctively.
"What's going on?"
"Probably time to present the lady with our gifts. Come on, let's hurry."
Everyone presenting gifts together? What was this, an elementary school birthday party?
Should've skipped the dessert and just tossed her some culture vouchers.
Heading to the hall, I saw the guy who'd blabbered about necklaces earlier down on one knee, offering one to Jessica.
She accepted it with delight, and the crowd let out admiring "oohs."
Like the greetings, it followed rank—higher nobles first—so our turn was still far off.
"Ian, I'm heading out to wait for the dessert I ordered."
"Sure. But once we give this gift, we can head back to the dorm, right?"
I hoped Victor would just nod, but he shook his head.
"After this… around six, there's a small party. That's when our desserts are set to appear."
"……Gotcha."
I regretted not bolting right away, but tasting a dessert worth ten katanas? A little exciting.
Victor left to wait for the order outside, while I leaned against the wall, watching the gift presentations.
At first, the "oohs" came frequently, but as ranks dropped, Jessica's reactions grew perfunctory.
Naturally, the crowd's exclamations dwindled too, until finally, no one made a sound.
Our turn's coming up soon. Hope it hasn't arrived yet? No, wait—hope it has?
Worried something had gone wrong, I stepped out after Victor. He was slumped against the door, looking utterly defeated.
"What happened? It hasn't come yet?"
"No, it arrived… but…."
At the end of where he pointed sat a cart with a massive white box—at least a meter tall.
"Just to confirm… that's…?"
"That's our ordered dessert. Precisely, a cake."
"A cake?"
Curiosity outweighing any dread, I popped open the box without hesitation.
Inside waited a luxurious six-tiered cake, adorned with golden cream and orange fruits that looked mouthwateringly sweet.
No matter how I looked at it, this wasn't fit for such an occasion—let alone a personal gift.
"Not a wedding cake, so what the hell…? What'd you even order from that shop?"
"……I told them to spare no expense on the gold and make the ultimate dessert… I never imagined this…!!"
Those bastards took the cash and went pro-mode instead of skimming a bit.
For low-status folks like us, we needed to avoid outshining higher nobles—self-restraint was key.
"Can we really just hand this over?"
"No way!! They'll tear us apart for not knowing our place—'What kind of gift is that?!' And the lady will surely rage that we ruined the exchange party's vibe…."
"Eh, doesn't matter much then."
Victor's half-crying face snapped up, eyes demanding what nonsense I was spouting.
"Ian, what the hell are you…."
"If it comes to it, I'll take the blame. Just carry it in. And heh… as if she'd ruin the vibe over a cake and――."
tell her daddy on us?