The Irreverent Believer
The world was home to many gods.
From Etelius, the Supreme God who created all things, to every corner where intelligent life had taken root, the hand of the divine had left its mark. Wherever people gathered in faith, a religion was born.
Every god was understood to exist beneath the Supreme God, and so long as they were not deities of evil, none were persecuted. People were free to choose their faith according to their own beliefs.
And so there were thriving religions like the Etel Church, which worshipped Etelius and even possessed a holy nation of its own—and there were others so starved of followers that their very lineage was dying out.
The church Rai had chosen was one of those modest, struggling congregations, short on worshippers and influence alike.
Lutera was a goddess who had received power from the Supreme God Etelius to fill what the world lacked.
Once the world was complete, she carried on the work she had always done, becoming the deity who presided over sharing and rest. Her followers founded the Luteria Church to praise the goddess and devote themselves to service.
Many religions held generosity toward others as a virtue, but Lutera governed the very act of giving to those in need. Perhaps for that reason, the Luteria Church returned most of its donations to society and remained poor.
Their commitment to poverty and charity won them many admirers, but because they gave away everything they received, the church stayed impoverished. Their strongly pastoral nature meant they held none of the worldly power enjoyed by the likes of the Etel Church.
And Abigail, dressed in a Luteria Church nun's habit that did not suit her in the slightest, stared at Rai with a sour expression.
"Ahahaha, it is an honor that a distinguished gentleman such as yourself, Instructor, would take an interest in the Luteria Church."
"Oh, please—the honor is all mine, meeting someone of such deep faith as yourself, Director."
"Goodness, I am still so lacking. When an academy instructor of your caliber praises me, I hardly know what to do with this wretched self of mine."
Rai and the church director were chatting away with gusto.
When he had first appeared, the director had been a stern old man. A face lined with the years, white hair remaining only in a ring around a bald crown, a neatly trimmed white beard—the very picture of a priest, the kind of man you'd identify as clergy even if you passed him on the street.
But after about an hour of talking with Rai, they were now thick as thieves, heaping praise on each other, stopping just short of slinging their arms around each other's shoulders.
Abigail, who had been sitting still through their endless chatter until her legs went numb, kept shifting in her seat, making her discomfort plain.
"Good heavens, look at me. At this rate I'll be late for the noon prayer. This way, please."
Finally freed from the two men's rambling, Abigail followed them into the chapel.
For a church that supposedly received a steady stream of donations, the place was shabby. Finding it so unlike any house of worship she had seen before, Abigail looked around.
Not a speck of dust—they clearly kept it clean—but the pews and the sacred objects were considerably worn. Walking across a floor that didn't even have a carpet, she sat on a long bench and frowned down at it, bothered by the creaking.
"Today we have two visitors from the academy who have taken an interest in our church and come to experience our way of life. They have not taken vows, but under Lady Lutera's guidance there is no one who is not our brother or sister. Please welcome them with open hearts."
The director who had been chattering so shamelessly moments ago now stood at the pulpit with a benevolent smile, introducing Rai and Abigail.
Abigail stayed silent, put off by the priests gazing at her with such innocent faces, but Rai stood and returned each greeting one by one.
"Then let us offer a prayer of thanks to our compassionate Lady Lutera."
At the director's words, the priests all clasped their hands and began to pray. Abigail, who had never prayed in her life, bowed her head along with them and whispered to Rai.
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Hell if I know. First time for me too."
She'd thought it was unusual that she'd never prayed herself, but finding another person just like her left Abigail staring at Rai with a vacant look.
"Just fake it. Or wish for something you actually want. I'm gonna ask for some Divine Power."
"..."
The words were blasphemous, but Rai prayed like a devout believer. Light streaming through the windows fell on him, lending him an almost holy air—except that he was just muttering the words "Divine Power" over and over.
Abigail lifted her head slightly and looked at the priests praying in silence. The Luteria Church respected each individual's prayer, so no one recited a prayer on behalf of the congregation.
Scanning the now-quiet chapel, Abigail shot a look of pity at Rai, who was still mumbling about Divine Power, then bowed her head and prayed.
But she had no idea what to do.
Gods existed. There was Divine Power, and occasionally a god's messenger would descend to deliver their words. None of that had anything to do with her.
She had sought out the gods once, hoping to escape the suffering right in front of her—but they had always been silent. She had screamed for them to save her, and no god had appeared. In the end, she had clawed her way through hardship on her own.
Abigail, who had never received help from anyone, did not believe in gods.
Those so-called gods went on and on about loving everyone, but in truth they were no different from the selfish nobles. They only granted power to those who believed in them, then preened and showed off about it.
I love everyone. I am everyone's hope. I make everyone happy.
The words were so nauseating she wanted to throw up. She ground her teeth.
The sound was so loud it rang through the silent chapel.
Startled, Abigail bowed her head and pretended nothing had happened. When the prayer ended a moment later, she could feel the priests looking at her from across the room.
"How hard were you praying that it sounded like your bones were breaking? Why don't you just convert to Lady Lutera while you're at it."
The priests laughed at Rai's joke. The director played along, saying that Lady Lutera heard everyone's prayers even without such strenuous effort.
Abigail hated the ha-ha, ho-ho atmosphere, but she knew Rai had deliberately cracked the joke to defuse the tension, so she didn't ruin the mood.
After the prayer, the director gave them a tour of the church, but the place was so modest that the tour of the small building wrapped up quickly, and they soon mixed with the other priests.
"Hello, I'm Maji. Sister Abigail... wait! I shouldn't call you Sister, should I?"
Unsure whether it was a greeting or a question, Abigail looked down at the small girl tilting her head in front of her. The child, whose face was so innocent it suggested she knew nothing of the world, pondered for a moment, then grinned and tried again.
"Hello, I'm Maji. I'm still an apprentice, but I'll serve Lady Lutera right by your side, Miss Abigail."
"Right... Sure. Nice to meet you."
Abigail had been about to speak as she always did—casually, without honorifics—then caught herself and switched. Rai had warned her not to cause any incidents, since she absolutely had to learn Divine Power. Abigail had to play at being well-behaved.
She would have to live as a priest for the next few days. Judging by the talk of serving together, this little kid was apparently going to be the one teaching her. Abigail thought she seemed far too young, but since she had no interest in religion anyway, she didn't care who was assigned to her.
"Maji, have you seen Instructor Rai?"
"No, he hasn't come this way."
They had assigned Rai a vice director, given that he was an academy instructor—but he had already vanished. The vice director headed off in another direction, worried he might have gotten lost, but Abigail was certain the bastard had run off.
There had been warning signs.
After the church tour, they had all eaten together with the priests. Rai, who had been looking forward to the meal and complaining of hunger, wilted when he was handed something too thin to even be called soup. Sitting at a table where everyone—director, senior priests, and apprentices alike—received exactly one bowl of watery soup, Rai stared down at it with dead eyes.
By now he had probably slipped out of the church and gone looking for a restaurant nearby.
That son of a bitch... He could've at least taken me with him.
She didn't mind that he'd run. She hadn't been any happier with the meal than he had. Academy students who trained their bodies ate a lot. A single bowl of soup with barely any ingredients in it didn't even register.
"Miss Abigail? Is something troubling you?"
"No... I'm fine."
"If you ever have worries, please tell me anytime!"
As an apprentice and the youngest, Maji had always been treated as the baby of the group. The chance to teach Abigail had her so excited she puffed out her chest with pride. The confident look was nice, but she was also standing on her tiptoes, trying to look taller, and it was a precarious business.
When she lost her balance a moment later, Abigail caught her, and Maji grinned.
"You're so kind, Miss Abigail."
That was a first. Hearing words she'd never heard even as a child living among mercenaries, Abigail felt something strange and pulled away from Maji.
Whether Maji didn't notice Abigail's face going cold or simply didn't care, she led Abigail inside with a bright, sunny expression.
The work assigned to the two of them was cleaning. Maji gathered the objects used in religious rites into one place, rolled up her sleeves, and diligently wiped away the dust. Abigail watched her blankly as she held an old copper cup high in the air, polishing it as if to demonstrate the proper way.
It would have been easier to just set it on the table and wipe it, but she insisted on lifting it to head height, which looked uncomfortable.
"You're... good at that."
"Right? Hehehe— I learned really hard from Teacher. No, wait—from Sister Elshara."
The praise had apparently been the right call. Maji beamed and moved her hands even faster as she polished the copper cup. The fact that she'd called the priest "Teacher" suggested Maji had come from the orphanage the church ran.
Perhaps she'd put too much force into it, trying to impress Abigail—Maji lost her grip on the cup. Abigail left the wide-eyed, startled Maji where she was, shifted her foot, and caught the falling copper cup before it hit the floor, tossing it back into the air.
When Abigail, who had snatched the cup so effortlessly, handed it to Maji, the girl took it with a dazed look and said:
"This is the cup Lady Lutera drinks from. You shouldn't touch it with your feet."
She'd been scolded. Abigail frowned. She'd helped, and she'd still gotten chewed out.
Maji carefully set the copper cup on the table, thoroughly wiped the spot Abigail's foot had touched, then turned and bowed at the waist.
"Thank you, Miss Abigail."
After the polite bow, Maji looked up at Abigail with round, sparkling eyes.
"I was so startled I didn't even say thank you. If that cup had fallen, Teacher would have scolded me so much. You're my lifesaver, Miss Abigail."
Looking at these priests who were gentle to a fault, Abigail thought it hardly counted as saving a life, and brushed it off as nothing, uncomfortable under Maji's shining gaze. But Maji seemed to like the Abigail who had saved her life, and clung to her constantly.
Even when they finished cleaning and moved elsewhere, she insisted on holding Abigail's hand the whole way, chattering without pause. It was annoying, but Abigail had no real excuse to shake her off. She was being led along by Maji's hand when she spotted Rai outside, getting chewed out by the vice director.
"Instructor! How could you smoke?!"
"Huh—doesn't a cigarette look cool with priest's robes? Picture it with a scythe and a crossbow."
"Are you going off to war? You can't. You shouldn't keep smoking something that's bad for you."
"But I saw everyone else smoking earlier."
"Those people are just congregants. You're a priest right now, and as long as you're wearing those robes, smoking is forbidden."
The vice director confiscated Rai's cigarettes and said he'd give them back when they left. Once the vice director disappeared, saying he'd put the cigarettes away and to wait a moment, Abigail's eyes met Rai's from a distance.
"Well, well—looks like you've picked up a little barnacle."
Rai grinned at Maji stuck to Abigail's side. Then, as if something had occurred to him, he pulled an apple from his coat and handed one to Abigail and one to Maji.
"Gasp—this is the ultimate honey apple!"
"Uh, no, I just bought it from a street stall."
Seeing Maji's eyes light up at the apple in her two hands, Rai looked at her with something like pity, wondering just how austere their lives must be.
"Nnh—I can't. I can't eat something like this all by myself."
"No, no—this is a gift from Lady Lutera, see? Abigail eats one, I eat one. That means we're all eating together."
Unable to win against food sitting right in front of her, Maji fell for Rai's words and ate the apple with a blissful expression. Abigail, who had also been dissatisfied with the meal portions, wordlessly bit into her apple, and the three of them sat together companionably, eating.
"This is boring."
Already growing tired of it, Rai said with a weary face. They hadn't even been at the church for half a day, but Abigail felt the same. A life of cleaning, praying, cleaning, praying on repeat was never going to be interesting.
Just as Rai, who hadn't learned a thing about Divine Power and felt like he might die of boredom, something caught his eye. Through the window, the chapel was visible.
Curious about the intrigued look on Rai's face, Abigail followed his gaze into the chapel. In the corner was a small room barely large enough for one or two people. Rai was looking at the confessional, used for the sacrament of confession, with keen interest.
The faint smile on his face struck Abigail as ominous, and she quietly shook her head at him.
"Aren't you curious what's inside?"
"Huh? Inside of what?"
"This inside, of course~"
At Maji's question, Rai pulled another apple from his coat and pressed it into her hands. The moment Maji, mesmerized by the apple, looked away, Rai said he'd be back in a bit and climbed through the window into the confessional.
Abigail sighed, then took Maji—who was happily patting her stomach—and headed elsewhere.
From that day on, a rumor would spread that things went well if you made confession at the Luteria Church—but that was a story for another time.