The Forest of Stretching Pizza
"My stomach... is empty."
Dang Mieon, the Poison Dragon, unconsciously patted his belly. The summit had been running non-stop since early morning. They had eaten lunch, but it was nothing more than light refreshments.
Dang Mieon glanced at the others seated around the table. They were either rubbing their stomachs just like him or smacking their lips in a silent display of hunger.
"It's almost dinner time. Can't we at least eat before continuing the meeting?"
Just as Dang Mieon and the other representatives were harboring such thoughts—
"Even if we set aside those Westerners running rampant in Tibet..."
"Hold on a moment, Alliance Leader Du."
Mong Bullak, the eldest among them, lightly raised a hand to interrupt Du Yeonbu.
"What is the ultimate reason we are focusing so hard on this summit?"
"...?"
"Isn't it all so we can eat and live well? The chefs must be waiting. We shouldn't miss our mealtime."
A few chuckles escaped the other representatives at Mong Bullak's words. Although they were in the middle of a serious discussion, everyone deeply resonated with his point.
As Du Yeonbu paused, Grandmaster Jinshin of the Shaolin Temple pressed his palms together and spoke.
"Amitabha. The Chief's words ring true. How can we discuss matters of such grave importance on an empty stomach?"
When the other representatives nodded in agreement, Du Yeonbu let out a soft chuckle as well.
"Very well. We must eat."
With Du Yeonbu's permission, a Murim Alliance martial artist who had been waiting in the room scurried outside. Before long, maids and servants filed in, carrying large trays laden with all kinds of dishes. Instead of a single large dish meant for sharing, each tray held individual portions of various delicacies.
"Ho, the chefs of the Murim Alliance have truly outdone themselves."
"Every single dish on these plates is prepared with utmost care."
A square tray was placed before each person, showcasing an array of beautifully presented foods.
"Judging by those beautifully braised shiitake mushrooms, that must be vegetarian braised mushrooms, and this dish coiled like a sleeping dragon is surely coiled dragon pork."
Along with the coiled dragon pork made of pork and eggs, there was also steamed clams in wine, and other mouthwatering dishes. Yet, one particular plate caught his eye.
"An empty plate?"
The largest white plate on the tray, occupying the center, was completely bare. Knowing Du Yeonbu's blunt and demanding nature, it was highly unlikely this was some philosophical lesson to make them reflect on the starving commoners. While everyone was wondering what this meant, two men wheeled a cart into the room.
"Chef Yoon and the Cafeteria Master?"
The two men were none other than Yoon Gomyung and Dong Gyeongdo. Beside a visibly tense Dong Gyeongdo stood Yoon Gomyung, wearing his usual easygoing, sly smile.
"I am Yoon Gomyung, the one who has been undeservedly graced with the title of the Three-Virtue Chef."
As Yoon Gomyung cupped his fists and bowed, whispers broke out among the representatives.
"So that is the famous..."
"He showed incredible skill at the last banquet as well."
"I thought he would be an older man, but he looks so young and fresh."
As a Peak Master, there was no way Yoon Gomyung could miss their whispers.
"Ahem. The dishes I have prepared for you today were made in honor of the eternal glory and harmony of the Murim Alliance."
Yoon Gomyung proceeded with his explanation, detailing which ingredients were sourced from which provinces and what symbolic values they represented. However, the representatives were far more interested in the cart than his words. From beneath a large dome cover, an unfamiliar, savory, and tangy aroma wafted through the room, unlike anything they had ever smelled before.
Seeing that every eye in the room was glued to the cart, Yoon Gomyung realized they weren't listening to a single word of his explanation. He cleared his throat with a bright grin.
"Ah, my apologies. You should have just told me you wanted to eat right away. The dish I have prepared today is something never before seen in the Central Plains."
With those words, Yoon Gomyung lifted the cover. At first glance, Dang Mieon thought it was a type of pan-fried flatbread. But he quickly discarded that thought when he realized its sheer scale—standard flatbreads were only the size of a palm. This massive crust was gently blanketed by a layer of glistening, melted white cheese. Nestled within the cheese were slices of cured meat, various mushrooms, and salted yellow olives.
"This is truly a first." Dang Mieon marveled.
In shape, it resembled a scallion flatbread, but it looked incomparably luxurious, packed with an abundance of diverse ingredients.
"Oh..."
"To think such a dish existed."
"I smell a hint of milk."
Listening quietly to the representatives' remarks, Yoon Gomyung picked up a small cutter placed beside the cover and sliced the dish.
Slice, slice, sliiice!
It was a simple act of cutting it into eight equal slices, but a strange gleam flashed in Du Yeonbu's eyes.
"No wonder Chief Mong gave him the title of Three-Virtue Chef."
Du Yeonbu had assumed Gomyung was just a chef who knew a bit of martial arts, but that seemingly simple cutting motion contained the profound principles of high-level martial arts. Yoon Gomyung distributed the slices to each representative's empty plate and spoke again.
"This dish is called Jehobyeong. I shall explain the details after you take a bite. It is best enjoyed while hot."
With a warm smile, Yoon Gomyung gestured toward the Jehobyeong, prompting Du Yeonbu and Mong Bullak to take the first large bites.
"Ah, hot, hot!"
Surprised by the unexpected heat of the Jehobyeong, Mong Bullak blew on it hastily before taking another bite. And then—
"Heh!"
How could such a flavor exist in this world? The cheese, bursting with a rich, savory taste that felt like concentrated fresh milk, paired perfectly with the soft, chewy dough. The salty cured meat and olives delivered an intense, tongue-numbing umami. Furthermore, the deep aroma of the button mushrooms stimulated the senses, while the occasional crunch of water caltrops provided a delightful contrast.
"He is indeed a man who cannot be underestimated."
As Du Yeonbu stared at Yoon Gomyung, the chef caught his gaze and smirked. It was a casual, almost irreverent gesture, but the flavor of the Jehobyeong was anything but light. Tasting this dish for the first time, Du Yeonbu, Mong Bullak, and the rest of the representatives couldn't help but marvel.
"Look how it stretches..."
"This red sauce perfectly cuts through what could have been a greasy taste."
"Incredible, absolutely incredible."
They were completely captivated by the Jehobyeong. Watching them, Yoon Gomyung grinned.
Who on earth doesn't like pizza? Even though it originated from far-off Italy, what is the one food so popular in Korea that franchise chains and independent pizzerias dot every corner of the country? That's right, pizza. Since everyone seemed to love it, it was time to add some flavor to my explanation.
"The numerous ingredients in this Jehobyeong naturally represent the various provinces of the Central Plains. Those with refined palates will surely recognize that these ingredients were sourced from every corner of our land. However, there is something far more important to consider here."
I pointed to the remaining slice of pizza.
"This Jeho blanketing the Jehobyeong is made from water buffalo milk. I did not choose Jeho simply because it is delicious. Tell me, where does milk come from?"
Dang Mieon took up the question I had thrown out to the room.
"Naturally, it comes from a mother."
"Exactly. Is there any child in this world born without a mother? All living things are born from a mother's embrace. Milk is the very first food a newborn tastes, their daily sustenance."
Man, spinning all this grand philosophy is making my throat dry. I cleared my throat and continued.
"I chose Jeho to remind you of this simple truth. Leaders of the Great Sects and Noble Clans, let this Jeho bring to mind your mothers. Or perhaps the masters who looked upon you with the same tender affection as a mother would."
At my words, the giants of the martial world closed their eyes or nodded slowly, murmuring to themselves.
"When we strayed, they would scold us harshly or wrap us in their broad tolerance. Please remember that their true intentions were always for our sake. They showed such embrace to keep us from going astray, or to forgive us when we did."
We were nearing the climax. Suppressing my dramatic flair, I let my words flow slowly and deliberately.
"As a humble soul barely standing on the fringes of the Jianghu, I make this earnest plea. Please look upon your fellow martial artists across the four seas with the same broad tolerance and understanding of a mother. Just as the Jeho on this Jehobyeong gently embraces all the diverse ingredients, let us embrace one another to create a Jianghu free of strife."
With that, I cupped my fists and bowed deeply. This was a speech Seonwoo Seol and I had put our heads together to fabricate. I hoped it hit the mark.
"..."
Wait, did it fail?
When a heavy silence filled the room, I was just about to lift my head in nervous anticipation when—
"Remarkable."
At the sudden, deep voice, I peeked up. Du Yeonbu was slowly nodding his head.
"To think there is someone who desires the peace of the Jianghu so deeply. Is it not remarkable?"
Mong Bullak smiled warmly at Du Yeonbu's remark.
"Hahaha! He truly knows how to speak to one's heart. To express what we all desire with such eloquent wit."
Starting with those two, the others began nodding and chatting amiably with their neighbors. Their reaction had just been a bit delayed; the message had definitely landed. The tension drained from my body, leaving my legs slightly wobbly.
While I was sweating bullets trying to stand up straight, Du Yeonbu finished his slice of pizza down to the last crumb, then looked up at me.
"It is a great shame that a man of your caliber is confined to the Mutual Righteousness Academy. Would you have any interest in pursuing your path here at the Murim Alliance?"
Getting headhunted everywhere I go... is this what it feels like to be a hot commodity?
But I had absolutely no intention of leaving the Academy. Transferring to the Murim Alliance wouldn't necessarily mean a massive pay raise, and living under the constant, terrifying gaze of the Sword Sovereign sounded exhausting. Besides, how could I leave behind the precious Gongson Yeongji, the giant Man Hanseok—who would probably cave my eyes in if I tried to put him there—and... Seonwoo Seol?
"Chef Yoon! Where do you think you're running off to?!"
"Three-Virtue Chef, I thought you were a grand figure... and yet you tuck your tail and run?"
I could almost hear the auditory hallucinations of Yang Seoran and the Sword Queen, On Ban-hui, echoing from somewhere. *Ugh, goosebumps.*
"My future is not entirely mine to decide..."
When I politely declined with a polite laugh, Du Yeonbu nodded slowly, accepting it.
"That is a pity."
Seeing how easily he let it go, it might have just been a polite gesture, or perhaps he was just testing the waters.
Phew.
A sigh of relief sounded from behind me. Naturally, it came from Dong Gyeongdo. He seemed relieved that his position wasn't being usurped. *Sorry, mister, but I have zero interest in your job.*
"Then, please enjoy your meal."
To let them dine in peace, Dong Gyeongdo and I cupped our fists once more and stepped out of the room. *Sigh.* Once outside, a massive sigh of relief escaped my lips. Finally, I could return to the Academy.
"He planned and executed it all on his own?"
How absurd. At my question, Bi Rak, the Taebaek Pavilion Master, nodded with a deeply displeased expression.
"Just as you suspect, Three-Virtue Chef, it makes no sense. It is obviously a case of cutting off the tail to save the head."
I had been packing my bags to return to the Academy when Bi Rak summoned me, prompting me to rush over. I had run here thinking he was going to hand me a bonus, but instead, it was about the highly toxic poison we had discovered recently. The torturers of the Law Enforcement Hall—the Central Plains' equivalent of information processing specialists—had used every method at their disposal to interrogate the man who smuggled the poison. They investigated, yes... but the results were highly unsatisfying to me.
The man, a mere vegetable transporter, had allegedly harbored a long-standing desire to become a chef for the Murim Alliance but had repeatedly failed the recruitment exams. Out of spite, he supposedly obtained poison from an acquaintance, planned to scatter it indiscriminately in the ice house, and flee. The story sounded plausible enough, but how could a mere commoner easily obtain a colorless, odorless, and highly lethal poison? They had twisted his shins on the torture rack and driven needles under his fingernails to extract the identity of his backer, but he hadn't budged. They claimed his resolve was unshakeable.
"They say he was also behind the food poisoning that took down the three chefs."
"What? That man did it?"
"He confessed to intentionally giving the senior chefs eggs laid by chickens fed with fleeceflower root."
Hearing that made it even more suspicious. He intentionally gave them eggs knowing they would cause food poisoning? In the Central Plains, where microscopes didn't even exist, he somehow selected eggs with a hundred percent chance of causing food poisoning and handed them over. Was such a feat truly possible for an individual? Especially one who had displayed the Dragon Claw Hand, a high-level martial art rarely seen in public?
"But he reacted to the mention of the Hyeondong Merchant Guild, didn't he? That's not something someone unrelated would know."
As I voiced my suspicion, Bi Rak let out a helpless sigh.
"I know that as well. But the higher-ups have ordered the case closed here, so what can we do?"
"Even though it was a direct threat to them?"
"They likely do not wish to disturb the Alliance Leader's peace of mind. The Murim Alliance must remain flawless, an impregnable fortress."
*Good grief, what is pride even worth? If it were me, I would have combed through everything like a madman.*
"However, the Sichuan Tang Clan has agreed to re-examine the lethal poison, so it would be best to ask their people about it later."
Conveniently, Man Hanseok had just suggested going with Dang Go-hye to track down the poison, so I could ask when we hung out.
"Since you and your companions were the ones who captured that wicked scoundrel, you must have wanted a satisfying conclusion. I am sorry it turned out this way."
"Well... it can't be helped."
The Taebaek Pavilion Master had likely tried his best to investigate, so it would be awkward for me to press him further. If the Murim Alliance had decided to let it rest, I had to let it go too. As I turned to leave, Bi Rak added one last thing.
"Ah, please drop by the Taebaek Pavilion tomorrow before you depart."
"For what...?"
"You must receive your bonus. The Murim Alliance never forgets its debts of gratitude."
The moment the word "bonus" left his mouth, the corners of my lips twitched upward. *Ah, I need to control my face, but I can't hide it.*
"I know asking this makes me look incredibly cheap, but roughly how much...?"
At my cheap question, Bi Rak silently raised his index finger. He probably wasn't telling me to keep my voice down, so what was it?
"One tael of gold?"
"Ahem, how could the Murim Alliance, the pillar of the Orthodox factions, be so stingy?"
"Then could it be...?"
"Ten taels, of course."
That meant I was getting what they called a massive payout. Spending ten taels of gold on a single dish—the Murim Alliance truly had deep pockets.