A Practice Run on the Road
On the road to Handan, where the Beggars' Sect Headquarters was located.
"..."
"..."
Unable to bear the solemn silence that had settled over the carriage, I finally called out to Gye-yeong.
"Gye-yeong."
"...Yes, Chief Chef," Gye-yeong replied in a crawling voice, clearly aware that he had done something wrong.
"What did you say earlier?"
"What's the biggest crane in the world..."
"..."
"The Great Academy..."
"Wow... Han-seok, you should learn that wordplay from Gye-yeong instead of practicing your Ice Limit Spear. The sheer chill blowing through this carriage is giving me goosebumps."
"If I learned something like that, I'd end up as public enemy number one in the Murim," Man Han-seok grunted.
"Wait, is it not funny? I laughed my head off when I first heard it!" Gye-yeong protested.
"What kind of... It just makes me want to throw you out of the carriage."
"Dandan, is it really not funny? Seriously?"
"..."
Gye-yeong directed his question to Dandan, Dang Go-hye's personal maid, but she merely nodded in silence.
If a girl that timid was nodding, it meant it was truly, deeply unfunny.
"Even Dandan says she hates it," I said.
"Aww, come on. Mr. Coachman, what about you..."
"Not funny."
"Aaaaaah!"
Abandoned even by the coachman, Gye-yeong tried to defend his wordplay with an indignant look, but absolutely no one was willing to laugh at his rotten jokes. He had probably cracked that joke to break the ice and get closer to Dandan, who shared a similar social standing, but it only made me want to wash my ears out. Maybe I should distribute some joke books across the Central Plains.
"Mr. Coachman, is tonight our last stop at an inn?" I asked.
"Yes, sir. We should reach Handan by tomorrow."
"Ah, is our carriage life finally coming to an end?" Man Han-seok grinned, stretching his stiff muscles.
"Is it really that hard when you're just sitting there doing nothing?"
"It's hard precisely because we're doing nothing, Chef Yoon. Back at the academy, I could at least train."
"I find it quite entertaining just watching the scenery," I remarked, leaning against the carriage partition and looking outside.
At this, Dang Go-hye smiled with sudden interest.
"Chef Yoon, you said you were from Shandong, right?"
"That's correct."
"Is that why? Because you're from the deep mountains?"
"As expected of someone from the Tang Clan, your words are quite poisonous. What does my hometown have to do with anything?"
"Well, because you're a country bumpkin from the Shandong mountains?"
"If you were a student at the academy, Lady Dang, you would have gotten a flick to the forehead by now."
"You can still flick me now, can't you?"
She even stuck her tongue out to tease me. Ugh, how frustrating. It wasn't like I could actually flick the forehead of a noble young lady from a prestigious clan. Was this what they called the 'Seductive Horned Playful Girl' or whatever?
"By the way, Chef Yoon, what dish are you planning to make for the banquet?" Man Han-seok's sudden question caught me off guard.
"A dish? Oh, uh, right. I have to cook, of course."
"Don't tell me you forgot?"
"Are you crazy? How could I forget the dish for the Dragon Head Sect Leader?"
I scoffed, but inside, I was screaming. I was doomed. I had completely forgotten. I had planned to think about it leisurely during the carriage ride, but then the Human-faced Centipede had appeared out of nowhere, and Dang Go-hye had ended up in danger, completely driving it out of my mind.
How was I supposed to present a dish worthy of the Dragon Head Sect Leader while keeping the budget under three hundred copper coins? I couldn't give up on meat. Beef and pork were relatively cheap, but getting rid of their gamey smell was incredibly difficult. I could mask it with heavy spices, but spices were ridiculously expensive. Mutton wasn't a bad choice, but it was a polarizing meat, so that was out. Frog or snake meat was absolutely out of the question. That left chicken as the only answer. But if it was chicken, the cooking method was the problem. I thought about serving the fried chicken I had experimented with before, but that would blow the budget. A bubbling pot of spicy braised chicken would be great, but red pepper powder was hard to come by here. Ah, what a headache. What a massive headache.
"Gye-yeong, doesn't it look like he still hasn't decided on the menu?"
"Indeed. As the Chief Chef's direct servant, my worries are truly... Ow, ow, ow, ow!"
"I'm only pinching you because Han-seok is sitting too far away," I said, pinching Gye-yeong's cheek for talking nonsense.
Seeing this, Dang Go-hye's eyes gleamed as she immediately pinched Man Han-seok's side.
"Aaargh!"
"I'll pinch him for you!" she chirped.
"Lady Dang, why me?!" Man Han-seok wailed.
How dare a servant and a student slander their sky-high superior and academy staff member? Taste a tiny bit of my wrath! Yah! While we bickered back and forth inside the carriage, we finally arrived at our last stopover village. The village was called Jesu. It was a peculiar place with a stream running through its center—too small to be called a river, yet too large to be a mere brook.
"Let's rest here until dawn tomorrow, then make a quick run for it."
We unpacked our bags at the inn, settled in, and were about to order a light meal when...
"Chef Yoon."
"Yes, Lady Dang?"
"Pardon my shamelessness, but may I ask you for a favor?"
"Didn't you already throw your shamelessness out the window while riding in the carriage?"
Throughout the journey, Dang Go-hye had teased me mercilessly about being from the Shandong mountains. Normally, anyone with a shred of decency wouldn't treat their savior like that, but she was treating Man Han-seok and me like childhood friends of twenty years.
"Tsk. You sure hold a grudge. Anyway, can I ask for a favor or not?"
She wasn't giving up. How stubborn. In the end, I decided to just give in and listen.
"Fine, do as you please."
"I want to see you cook, Chef Yoon. Is that okay?"
"Cook?"
"I heard your culinary skills are so peerless that even the principal was moved. Is that not true?"
"I don't know about 'peerless,' but I've picked up a thing or two over the years."
"Always so humble. Yes or no?"
"I suppose it's about time I warmed up."
I had already planned to cook at least once before the banquet anyway, so since she was setting the stage, I might as well. But as I stepped forward, Dang Go-hye stopped me and turned to her maid, Dandan.
"Dandan, go to the kitchen and ask the chef if we can borrow it for a bit."
"Ah, well..."
As Dandan hesitated, Dang Go-hye looked at her, wondering what was wrong.
"Why? You don't want to?"
"Lady Dang, the kitchen is a chef's sacred domain. Outsiders shouldn't just barge in. You should let Chef Yoon ask," Man Han-seok intervened.
Hearing this, Dang Go-hye glanced at me.
"Is that true?"
"Han-seok isn't wrong. If anyone is going to ask, it should be me."
"You're just going to stir a wok a bit, is that really such a big deal?"
"Ahem, now look here. It's not as simple as you think. What would happen if I walked into the Tang Clan's laboratories and started messing around with your experimental poisons?"
"You'd die, obviously. Either from the poison or at the hands of the Tang Clan."
"You know exactly what I mean, yet you still have to be sarcastic."
"Tsk."
She clicked her tongue, spun around, and sat down. I didn't know who she would marry in the future, but I already felt sorry for her husband.
"Since this is my area of expertise, I'll handle it myself."
With those words, I headed into the kitchen to ask for permission.
"How can I lend my kitchen to a nameless stranger? Absolutely not."
The chef in the kitchen shook his head. He seemed quite stubborn. If the timid Dandan had come here, she probably would have run back crying.
But who was I? I was a man who walked with his head held high even in an academy teeming with Absolute Masters. A minor obstacle like this was nothing.
"I am Yoon, the Inner and Outer Hall Master of the Mutual Righteousness Academy. I wish to research a dish to present to the Dragon Head Sect Leader of the Beggars' Sect. Please allow me to use your kitchen for a brief moment."
Along with my words, I slipped a few copper coins into his hand.
"Are you trying to buy me with money?!" he barked.
So, I slipped him a piece of silver instead.
"Hahaha! Hero Yoon, please feel free to use anything in the kitchen as you wish!"
It was simply too much money to refuse. They might not know the word 'capitalism' in the Central Plains, but no one understood its principles better than them.
"Gye-yeong, come over and help me."
"Yes, sir! What are we making?"
"I'm thinking of a chicken dish. What do you think would be good?"
"Since there are many of us, how about a hearty braised dish that goes well with rice?"
"A braised dish, huh?"
A braised dish was indeed excellent as a side dish for rice. A great recipe came to mind, and I immediately set to work.
I chopped a large chicken into small pieces so that it would braise evenly to the bone. For parts like the drumsticks, where the seasoning needed to penetrate deeply, I made deep cuts right down to the bone. Next was the sauce. I mixed dark soy sauce, Sichuan spicy bean paste (Dubanjang), sesame oil, Sichuan pepper oil, honey, and white liquor. Ideally, Korean red pepper paste (Gochujang) and chili oil would have been perfect... but unfortunately, I had to make do.
I pitted and halved some well-dried jujubes, then chopped green onions into two-inch pieces. I made diagonal slits on the thick white parts of the green onions so the sauce would seep in. With the jujubes and green onions prepped, it was time to blanch the chicken. I filled a wok with water and channeled my qi into it, preparing to blanch the chicken in an instant.
"Gye-yeong, the chicken."
"Whoa, look at that wok heat up. You're really burning through your internal energy, aren't you?"
"It makes it taste better."
While I held the wok to circulate my qi, Gye-yeong poured in the prepped chicken. Once the chicken turned white, I drained the water, added the sauce, jujubes, and green onions, and simmered it thoroughly, stirring constantly to prevent it from sticking.
As I covered the pot and channeled my qi to help the flavors penetrate deeper, Gye-yeong asked,
"Chief Chef, is that it?"
"There's one more thing left."
"No infusing the food with majestic internal energy using the Shaolin Kitchen's Great Strength Vajra Chopsticks or anything?"
"What on earth are the Great Strength Vajra Chopsticks? I've heard of Shaolin's ultimate technique, the Great Strength Vajra Finger, but..."
"It's a martial art using chopsticks. I heard that if you cook with it, the food becomes incredibly delicious."
"Ah, stop reading those cheap street novels. Where in the world would something like that exist?"
"But you use your internal energy when you cook too, Chief Chef."
"Yes, I use internal energy, but I'm telling you, there's no such thing as the Great Strength Vajra Chopsticks!"
I had no idea where he picked up such nonsense. Did he think the Shaolin Temple's kitchen was run by monstrous monks who cooked using martial arts?
I transferred the chicken, which had been rapidly braised with the help of my internal energy, into an earthenware pot. Then, I tossed in some wild parsley and gave it a quick stir. The residual heat from the meat would gently wilt the wild parsley.
"Is it Hongshaorou...? No, it's chicken, and it seems to have fewer ingredients than Hongshaorou."
"The title is... Braised Chicken in Spicy Bean Paste. But with a side of wild parsley."
"That's way too long for a dish's name."
"If I had to shorten it, it would be Apjangsogye."
"You really love using dense Hanja characters."
"Take your complaints up with Cangjie, the creator of Chinese characters."
I wanted to tell him that I'd much rather use Hangul, created by King Sejong, too.
When I walked out of the kitchen carrying the pot, Dang Go-hye, who had been waiting with bated breath, frowned.
"That was too fast. Don't tell me you just poured soy sauce over rice?"
"If I did that, it wouldn't even have taken me five minutes."
I placed the pot in the center of the table. Gye-yeong followed closely behind, carrying a mountain of rice and side dishes, placing them in front of everyone.
"Chicken in Sichuan spicy bean paste?"
At the sight of the reddish chicken, Dang Go-hye's face lit up with a bright smile. Since the Hebei region rarely ate spicy food, she seemed thrilled.
"I thought you might miss the taste of home, so I braised the chicken in spicy bean paste. But since Man Han-seok and Gye-yeong wouldn't be able to handle authentic Sichuan spice, I toned it down a bit."
"...Chef Yoon, perhaps you belong in an orthodox sect rather than the academy?"
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. Come on, let's eat before it gets cold."
"Thank you for the meal, Chef Yoon."
Everyone picked up a piece of chicken, and I took a bite as well. Perhaps because I had used my internal energy, the chicken wasn't tough at all; instead, it was tender and perfectly savory. Usually, I preferred using a wide variety of ingredients to create complex flavors, but this time, I had focused on bringing out the best taste using only the bare essentials.
The dish perfectly balanced the deep umami of the spicy bean paste, the numbing heat of the Sichuan pepper oil, the subtle sweetness of the jujubes and honey, and the refreshing aroma of the green onions and wild parsley. It was no surprise that Man Han-seok and Gye-yeong were devouring it, but even the timid Dandan's eyes widened in surprise, indicating she thoroughly enjoyed it.
"Is it good?"
"It's delicious..." she whispered.
Now that Dandan had approved, it was time to see Dang Go-hye's reaction. She ate a piece of chicken along with a green onion, then burst into a bright, joyful laugh.
"This is insane, seriously. Chef Yoon, you're incredible!"
After taking another bite, Dang Go-hye began thumping Man Han-seok's forearm with loud thuds, leaving him looking utterly bewildered and aggrieved.
"Wait, Chef Yoon is the one who's incredible, so why are you hitting my arm so hard?!"
"I always hit the person next to me when I'm surprised or amazed. Just bear with it."
"I'm pretty sure that ranks in the top three reactions a martial artist should never have," Man Han-seok grumbled.
He was rubbing his arm as if it actually hurt, despite being built like a bear. She really was a bizarre young lady.
"Mmh. It's definitely not authentic Sichuan, but it has its own charm. It's amazing how you extracted this much flavor with so few ingredients. I doubt I could find something this good even in a high-end restaurant."
I had expected her to say something like, 'You're a scrub who can't even cook proper Sichuan food,' but she surprised me. She usually did nothing but insult me, but this time, she gave a fair evaluation. If Dang Go-hye was praising it this much, it must have truly hit the spot. Hearing her words, Gye-yeong asked,
"Chief Chef, are you going to serve this dish at the Dragon Head Sect Leader's banquet then?"
"No. This was just a warm-up."
"What? But it's so delicious!"
"It doesn't quite feel like 'the one' yet."
The braised chicken was good. The ingredients were cheap and easy to find, and the taste was excellent. However, it felt a bit lacking for a banquet dish. I wanted something with a more striking visual impact. The aroma needed to be more intense as well. Was there no other way?
As I was lost in thought, a middle-aged woman, who appeared to be the innkeeper, began scolding someone near the entrance.
"Aigoo, you rascals! You're seven years old and still playing in the mud? Have some pity on your mother who has to do the laundry!"
"But you said we could play until we start learning how to read!"
"You can play quietly! Good heavens, look at your hands!"
"It's mud..."
"Did you play by the stream again? I told you not to go there because it's deep!"
"We're sorry..."
Watching the two mud-covered children getting scolded by the innkeeper was both funny and adorable. They looked exactly like...
"Huh?"
Wait, wouldn't that dish be absolutely perfect?
A brilliant idea flashed in my mind.