The Unsweating Giant
No matter what kind of trouble a student stirs up, a victim's anger is bound to soften if the perpetrator's guardians respond with swift, proper discipline. What do I mean by that? I mean that watching Namgung Geum bawling his eyes out after getting thoroughly thrashed by Namgung Ye was an absolute delight.
As a member of the academy staff, grabbing Namgung Geum by the collar and beating him would be crossing the line. But in the Central Plains, a relative like Namgung Ye delivering a beating is perfectly acceptable. This is a world where a family can hold a private council, administer vigilante justice to a disobedient son, and dismiss any official interference with a simple, "This is a family matter; the authorities need not concern themselves."
"I must apologize for the distress my foolish nephew has caused you, Chef Yoon. If he ever stirs up trouble again... I will personally ensure he learns firsthand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the Imperial Sword Form."
With those words, Namgung Ye had departed, essentially telling me not to worry because he would absolutely obliterate his nephew if he stepped out of line again. Seeing this, I realized why the Namgung Clan was revered as a prestigious noble family. They actually had a living, breathing conscience keeping them in check.
"Not everyone in the Namgung Clan is strange. Just look at Young Master Namgung Mun."
When I shared the story with Seonwoo Seol, who had just finished her duties as a head tutor, she actually defended the Namgung Clan. Instead of defending them, she should be defending me.
"That fellow is plenty problematic to me as well."
"Still, out of the three brothers, he's the most obedient."
"Well, obviously. That's only because Lady Yang Seoran has him wrapped around her finger."
"Is that so?"
I had heard that Namgung Mun was the only one who acted like a decent human being, but that was undoubtedly because Yang Seoran was constantly hovering over him. The other two brothers were complete disasters.
"Still, I'm glad you set him straight, Chef Yoon. Geum has been causing whispers and complaints for a while now."
"You seem to know a lot about him."
"Even though I graduated from the Southern Hall, it's impossible not to hear about the students who are constantly gossiped about among the head tutors. Both him and his older brother... If the Patriarch of the Imperial Sword Clan hears about this, his stomach will turn."
Indeed, no father would be pleased to hear his sons were running amok. As I chatted amiably with Seonwoo Seol, a sudden thought crossed my mind.
"Could you look into something for me?"
"What kind of investigation?"
"The day we saved Gye-yeong, those second-class martial artists. The tattoos they had seemed rather unusual."
"Tattoos?"
"Yes. They looked roughly like this."
When I described the tattoo of two crossed axes, Seonwoo Seol nodded.
"There shouldn't be any unorthodox sects around here, but I'll look into it. If they're outsiders, things might get even noisier."
"Sounds good."
It was great that Seonwoo Seol agreed so readily, but my workload was getting absurd. There was too much to do. I had to manage Gye-yeong, who was now my servant; I had to pay a visit to the Hyeondong Merchant Guild to shake them down; I had to oversee the operations of both the Inner and Outer Dining Halls; and I even had to butter up Seonwoo Seol... Was this really the life I wanted? This was all Dan Buyong's fault for appointing me as the Inner and Outer Hall Master. Sob. Why did I have to work this hard after coming all the way to the Central Plains?
Wait a minute. I didn't have to handle everything alone, did I?
"Would you like to go out with me sometime?"
"What's this? You're actually asking me to go out with you?"
Seonwoo Seol offered a playful smile. Perfect, she's on board.
"Ah, well, I have to pay a visit to the Hyeondong Merchant Guild. I thought it might be a bit lonely going by myself."
After all, Seonwoo Seol was the strongest person I could ask to accompany me. But when I invited her as a form of backup, her expression instantly stiffened.
"What? You just want me to help you work."
"They messed with the ingredients meant for our growing young talents. We have to go teach them a proper lesson. Don't you want to?"
Why was she acting like this? She was the Little Heavenly Demon of the Demonic Cult, a faction that practically worshipped power. At my question, Seonwoo Seol's lips twitched in annoyance, and she spoke with a face full of discontent.
"...When are we going?"
"Whenever the Little Heavenly Demon isn't busy?"
"That has to include when you're not busy either, Chef Yoon. Is your next day off fine?"
"Uh... yes, my day off is fine."
"Then let's go then."
Seonwoo Seol let out a deep sigh as she spoke. What was she so unhappy about?
"Is going out with me that bad?"
"If it were bad, I wouldn't have agreed to go in the first place. You know how I am."
"Then why the long face?"
"Do you really not know?"
"I really don't. That's why I'm asking."
At my reply, Seonwoo Seol gave me a look of utter disbelief before shaking her head.
"You're so quick-witted about everything else."
"About what?"
"Forget it. I'll be using my disguise techniques to hide my face that day, so don't be surprised."
With a short click of her tongue, Seonwoo Seol vanished out the door. What on earth was her problem? Women truly were an enigma.
Since today was relatively quiet, as soon as Seonwoo Seol left, I sat in the Inner Dining Hall office and began reviewing the past menus. That bastard Geum Ho certainly had an unhealthy obsession with greasy food. As I was checking what I could salvage for next month's meal plan, a servant called out to me.
"Head Chef, there is a student looking for you. What should I do?"
"A student is looking for me? Who is it?"
"It's a student named Man Hanseok from the Eastern Pavilion."
Man Hanseok? Ah, the heavy-set fellow who had blocked Namgung Geum? I pondered why he had come, and then remembered promising him a reward for answering my question back then. I hadn't expected him to actually show up to claim it, but since he was here, I might as well feed him a snack.
When I went out to the Outer Dining Hall where he was waiting, I spotted Man Hanseok's massive frame from a mile away. Up close, he was even more colossal. I prided myself on being quite tall and broad for someone in the Central Plains, but this guy was practically a walking fortress wall.
"Ch-Chef Yoon. It has been a while."
Yet, the moment he saw me, he was visibly trembling with tension. Seeing such a giant shake like a leaf made me feel almost sorry for him.
"You know I'm not like the other instructors... There's no need to be so formal. Let's talk inside the dining hall."
"Y-Yes, sir."
After all, to the students, I was just the guy who cooked their meals—nothing more, nothing less. Namgung Geum was an anomaly, so he didn't count. It actually made me uncomfortable when the students treated me with too much deference.
We sat down at a table in the Outer Dining Hall. Looking closely at Man Hanseok, despite his excessively obese frame, his facial features were remarkably sharp and handsome. People often talk about overweight individuals being "unscratched lottery tickets," and looking at him, he seemed like he'd easily win second prize at the very least.
"We have some snacks prepared in the Outer Dining Hall today, but they aren't mooncakes. Would you like something else?"
"Oh, n-no. I didn't come for mooncakes. I actually have a few questions..."
"Questions?"
"I-I heard that you originally came from Shandong Province, Chef Yoon."
"Yes, I lived in a small village called Gaeun in Shandong."
"And I heard that eating your Pork Noodle Soup instantly restores one's strength... Is that true?"
Well, it wasn't a lie, considering I had carefully blended stamina-restoring herbs into the broth. It wasn't a secret either.
"Where did you hear such a thing?"
"Instructor Cheongjo told me... Did... did he get it wrong...?"
"No, he's right. He just has a big mouth."
Ah, that tea-obsessed old man... Why does he keep dumping tasks on my lap? I'm a staff member, not a student who needs homework.
"So, did you come here for the Pork Noodle Soup?"
"No, that's not it. I heard that when you worked at the inn, the meals you served to the academy members were exceptionally effective at purging accumulated waste and turbid qi from the body. I wanted to ask if such a thing is truly possible..."
Waste and turbid qi? He was the first student to ever point that out. Only masters like Dan Buyong, Oh Waja, and Cheongjo, or top-tier young experts like Seonwoo Seol, had ever suspected the true nature of my culinary skills. Though we weren't far apart in age, I found his curiosity endearing, so I asked him a question.
"Is this for your graduation thesis? Or are you just curious?"
Before graduating from the Mutual Righteousness Academy, students were required to submit an academic report. It was essentially a thesis. Usually, students chose a topic between the end of their sixth year and the beginning of their seventh, submitting it right before graduation. They could write it alone or in groups, but because it would be permanently archived in the academy's library, it had to possess genuine academic value.
In Seonwoo Seol's case, she had submitted a thesis titled The Historical Implications of the Creation, Development, and Evolution of Fist Techniques in the Jianghu. It was apparently an outstanding paper, which was one of the reasons she had passed the head tutor exam so easily. In any case, Man Hanseok shook his head.
"N-Neither. It's... it's a problem with my own body..."
"Your body?"
"Well... aren't I fat?"
Man Hanseok let out a heavy sigh. I wasn't trying to be mean, but he was, quite literally, obese. It would probably take two of me combined to equal his weight.
"It's a physique that's hard to deny."
"B-But this isn't my original self. When I first entered the academy, I was so thin that my parents worried I was underweight."
Really? What on earth did he do to end up like this?
"I had a very small appetite, so my parents even sought out weight-gaining pills for me. But... ever since I entered the academy and began practicing martial arts, the more I train, the more my appetite surges. I simply can't control my cravings."
Anyone else would have dismissed this as utter nonsense. But to me, it sounded incredibly intriguing.
"Because of that, I started gaining an immense amount of weight, and eventually, I ended up like this..."
With a tearful face, Man Hanseok grabbed a handful of his belly fat with both hands. It was indeed... quite severe. It looked like the inner tube of a dump truck tire.
"I-I've consulted numerous physicians, but they all just told me to train harder in martial arts to lose weight. Or they tried to scam me by selling cheap, low-quality herbal pills disguised as weight-loss medicine."
"Those absolute bastards."
People who preyed on the desperate deserved to be beaten to a pulp. When I cursed with genuine anger, the gloomy Man Hanseok nodded in agreement.
"I had given up hope until recently... when I spoke with Instructor Cheongjo. He suggested that if I explained my situation to you, Chef Yoon, you might know a way..."
I thought only the Hall Masters were formidable, but Instructor Cheongjo was no joke either. He wasn't just crazy about tea; his intuition was terrifying.
"So, in the end, I'm your last saving grace."
"Chef Yoon, is there really no way?"
Even if he begged me to find a cure right this second, it wasn't as if I could just conjure an answer out of thin air. As I was debating whether this was even within my capabilities—
"Uwahhhh!"
Man Hanseok burst into tears. Seeing him like this was truly pitiful. No matter how much larger he was than me, he was still just a teenager, not yet an adult. The moment I placed my hand on the back of his to comfort him—
"Sob... waah..."
"Hmm?"
The back of his hand was incredibly cold. Don't overweight people usually have higher body temperatures? Why was he so cold?
"Do you have poor circulation in your hands and feet?"
"Sob... Huh?"
"Your hands are freezing."
"They've been like this ever since I started gaining weight..."
Suspicious. Or rather, it wasn't Man Hanseok himself who was suspicious, but his constitution. The Mutual Righteousness Academy wasn't some Bermuda Triangle of obesity; there was no way his appetite would suddenly skyrocket the moment he stepped foot here. It made no sense. If the academy truly possessed some weight-gaining curse, there should have been other obese students, yet he was the only one. There was definitely something going on with him.
"Now that I think about it, something is off."
"Wh-What is it?"
"You aren't sweating."
Even though early summer was fast approaching, Man Hanseok's pale skin didn't have a single drop of sweat. Just to be sure, I glanced at his collar and sleeves. They were completely dry.
"I've always had a constitution that doesn't sweat much..."
"Even with all that weight?"
"I just assumed it was normal...?"
There was no such thing as "normal" when it came to that.
"Did no one ever point this out to you?"
"W-Well, I'm the fattest person in the academy. People only teased me; no one ever mentioned that."
True, it was rare for a martial artist to carry so much weight. Excess fat naturally hindered cultivation and restricted movement. Wait. Renowned physicians didn't know, but Cheongjo thought I might? That meant while ordinary doctors were clueless, I might actually have the answer. My curiosity was piqued. I needed to look into this.
"First, let's get one thing straight. Even if I accept your request, I am fundamentally a chef, not a physician. I might be able to perform something akin to medicine, but it will strictly be a form of symptomatic treatment based on dietary therapy."
I threw in a disclaimer to give myself an out just in case. It was my way of telling him not to get his hopes too high, as all I could offer was a constitution overhaul through food.
"It might take a long time, and it will require a tremendous amount of effort. Are you prepared for that?"
I asked to make sure he was fully consenting to the terms. Of course, in his desperate state, Man Hanseok nodded mindlessly.
"I-I already expected as much. Thank you so much, Chef Yoon."
He was grinning like an idiot right after crying. If he kept switching emotions like that, he'd grow hair on his backside.