Three Skulls and a Bowl of Fried Rice
My master's master—which made him my grandmaster—the legendary Medicine King, once created a unique martial art.
"For those who refuse to listen, a fist can be a far more effective cure than a hundred medicines."
With that philosophy in mind, he forged the Hundred Medicine Fist Secrets. My master, the Medicine Immortal, had also been kind enough to administer this "cure" to various wicked men in his day. The villains who received his treatment were always so deeply moved by its remarkable efficacy that they immediately crossed the River Underworld. Truly, what a beautiful, heartwarming legacy.
Now, it was time for me to follow in my master's footsteps. Especially with these punks standing right in front of me. Not only had they broken into someone else's home, but they had also trashed the place so thoroughly that they clearly had demons in their heads. They were practically begging for a prescription.
Granted, during my time in the cave, I had only ever practiced my fist techniques against the empty air. But I had run through the mental training thousands, if not tens of thousands, of times. Besides, these guys might look tough, but they didn't seem to have a lick of basic martial arts training. Against opponents like this, a preemptive strike was the only logical answer. There was no time to hesitate. I had to move before these bastards could even register what was happening.
Swaying Left and Right (Jwaworyuji)
Whoosh!
Swaying my body left and right, I slid my feet forward in a rapid zigzag. It was as if I were folding space itself, closing the distance in giant, sweeping strides. Charging forward like a gale, I naturally slipped right into the blind spot of the guy standing at the very front.
"Huh...?"
It happened in the blink of an eye. The guy right in front of me looked like a total dimwit, so let's call him Dimwit. He just stared at me with a completely blank expression.
Thud!
Before he could even open his mouth to speak, my fist buried itself deep into his solar plexus.
"Gaaahhh!"
Great Jade Emperor, I'm sending one up to you!
Taking the blow directly to his solar plexus, Dimwit floated briefly in the air before collapsing to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.
"Y-You bastard!"
"Wang Sam!"
"G-Gack... ugh..."
The artist formerly known as Wang Sam, now officially dubbed Dimwit, lay twitching on the floor, completely incapacitated. Seeing him down, the other two thugs glared at me. The one on the left was scrawny, so let's call him Skinny. The one on the right was massive, so let's call him Tubby.
"You filthy beggar...!"
Did they still not realize the gap between us, even after seeing their buddy go down in one hit?
Clack!
Looking thoroughly enraged, Skinny threw down his long tobacco pipe and charged straight at me.
"You son of a bitch!"
To someone like me, who could coat his fists in raw inner qi, his charge looked like it was moving in slow motion. As Skinny pulled his fist back and aimed a punch squarely at my face, I made my move.
Twisting and Turning (Jeonjeonbancheok)
I wrapped my arm around Skinny's incoming fist and forearm like a striking serpent, violently deflecting his momentum outward. Because it happened in a fraction of a second, Skinny still seemed utterly oblivious to what had just occurred.
But the second stage didn't stop there. True to its name, which meant to toss and turn restlessly, I spun my entire body in a full rotation. Channeling the immense centrifugal force of the spin, I drove my fist straight toward Skinny's temple.
Crack!
"...!"
Even I had to admit it was a flawlessly clean strike. Skinny's eyes went completely vacant. Just like Dimwit before him, he lost all strength instantly and went flying sideways, landing with his eyes wide open. The sheer shockwave rattling his skull had knocked him out cold the moment of impact.
With two of his buddies taken down in the blink of an eye, Tubby, who had been about to swing his own fist at me, finally seemed to grasp the situation. He immediately lowered his hands and asked with a dazed, bewildered expression:
"W-Who... who might you be, sir...?"
"Either use honorifics or speak casually. Pick one."
"Uh, who are you...?"
"Look at this clueless bastard. How did you manage to choose the latter right away?"
"W-Who are you, esteemed sir?"
"Yeah, that's much better."
I plopped down right where Tubby had been standing, while he continued to stare at me, trembling.
"Curious about who I am?"
"Y-Yes, sir..."
"I'm the owner of this house."
"But... the owner went missing several years ago."
"Can't you see I just got back?"
I pointed to my own face, and Tubby nodded his head so vigorously it looked like it might fall off.
"O-Of course! I see you! I see you perfectly!"
"Did you guys trash my house?"
"Y-Yes..."
"If you don't want to die, fix every single bit of it."
"Huh?"
"You got a problem with that?"
The moment I raised my fist, Tubby resumed his frantic nodding.
"W-We will repair it immediately! Right away!"
Yes, that was the cooperative spirit I liked to see. I sat back and watched as Tubby dragged Dimwit and Skinny over to a corner and immediately set to work cleaning up the mess.
It was finally over. I had trimmed the hair I hadn't touched in four years and cleanly shaved off my overgrown beard. Feeling refreshed, I surveyed my newly repaired home.
Wildflowers of unknown names bloomed beneath the newly heightened stone walls, and tiny, neat sprouts peeked out from a garden plot that had been cleared of even the smallest pebbles. While it didn't look brand new, it at least felt like a home that was being meticulously cared for. I was actually quite pleased, but I deliberately clicked my tongue with a look of disapproval.
"Tsk."
"I-Is there something not to your liking, sir?"
Covered in dirt and sawdust like an Injeolmi rice cake, Tubby bowed his head deeply. Skinny, who had been sweeping leaves in the yard, and Dimwit, who had been whitewashing the walls, came running over in a panic. Every time they slacked off or did a sloppy job, I had administered a generous dose of my "medicine," and now they were absolutely terrified of me.
"It's not perfect, but I suppose it'll do for now."
"I-Is that so?"
Honestly, even if I wanted to find fault, they had done a flawless job. As the three thugs let out a collective sigh of relief, I gave them a sharp glare.
"Is it right or wrong to trash someone's house just because the owner isn't around?"
At my question, the three of them snapped to attention and bellowed in unison:
"It is wrong, sir!"
"I can't hear you."
"IT IS WRONG, SIR!"
Watching them shout at the top of their lungs with their bellies tensed, I felt a sudden urge to tease them further.
"If you knew that, why on earth did you make my house look like a dump?"
"H-Hieeeek!"
Seeing them shrink back in terror as if expecting another beating, I couldn't help but chuckle. Seriously, these guys didn't even qualify as proper gangsters.
The repairs had taken a full two weeks. Since these three had broken it, it was only fair they fixed it. Throughout the process, I had channeled the raw, nagging energy of a newly discharged military sergeant. By the end, the three thugs were as disciplined as fresh recruits straight out of a five-week boot camp. But now, even nagging felt like too much effort, and keeping them around only produced pathetic whimpering. Feeling thoroughly lazy, I waved my hand dismissively.
"Alright, go back to the village."
"Huh? W-We can go back? Really?"
They seemed utterly shocked by the sudden declaration of freedom. As they stared at me in disbelief, I gave them a stern warning.
"Do you want to live with me forever? Why do I have to repeat myself?"
"N-No! No, sir! We want to go home! We desperately want to go home!"
"If I catch you tormenting the villagers down there, you're dead."
"We wouldn't dream of it, sir!"
"I'll be visiting the village once a week. If I hear any weird rumors about me, you're finished."
"Y-Yes, sir!"
After laying down a few more threats, I shooed them away, and the three thugs bolted down the mountain as fast as their legs could carry them.
Watching them shrink into tiny dots in the distance, I sprawled out on my clean floor. A warm spring breeze drifted in, carrying the tranquil sounds of the mountainside. These were the pure sounds of nature, untouched by cars or airplanes. It was a symphony that put even multi-million-won high-end speakers to shame. As I lay there listening quietly, a sudden thought struck me.
What do I do now?
"..."
According to the thugs, the local woodcutters who used to work around here had all moved to other regions. I didn't dislike the woodcutters, but I had absolutely no desire to chop wood ever again. After all, it was while chopping wood that I had fallen into that godforsaken cave. I wanted to avoid going deep into the forest if I could help it.
Rolling around on the floor a bit more, I finally got up and opened my wardrobe. Beneath the new clothes I had bought by selling some of the master's jewelry lay the martial arts manuals I had brought from the cave.
First, there was the Hundred Medicine Fist Secrets, a legendary physical therapy technique consisting of eight stages, which had proven highly effective in reforming the three thugs. Then, there was the Great Luo Mind Classic, the mental cultivation method that gathered the energy of nature and spiritual medicines into the dantian below my navel. It was the very thing that had kept me sane. This was the real deal. It was the primary reason I had been able to absorb all the spiritual medicines left behind by the Medicine Immortal, boosting my inner qi to the point where I could reach the Peak Realm.
And its effects were truly remarkable. Every time I chanted the mnemonics of the Great Luo Mind Classic, all the stress and anxiety cluttering my mind would be instantly swept away. Thanks to it, I had survived that cramped cave without losing my mind. It was also incredibly effective for deciphering other mind-bogglingly complex martial arts manuals.
Finally, there was the Sacred Hand Flower Needle, a needle-throwing technique essential for any physician, which also served to cover the short-range limitations of the Hundred Medicine Fist Secrets. Though I had mastered the Sacred Hand Flower Needle, I had never actually used it on a living person, so I couldn't just go around practicing it recklessly. Medicine wasn't something you could just wing based on theory. Of course, using them as projectiles or striking pressure points to put someone to sleep would probably be fine.
In addition, there was the Elixir Refining Method, which detailed how to craft spiritual medicines using rare herbs and monster cores, and the Medicine Formulation Method, which was basically a household encyclopedia—no, a medical guide on how to replenish depleted qi using common plants and herbs.
Actually, there was one more martial art...
There was a technique written on the very last page of the Hundred Medicine Fist Secrets, but that was definitely not something I should ever touch. I shook my head to clear the thought and stared at the manuals.
There isn't a proper physician in the village down the mountain. Maybe I should open a clinic?
But I immediately dismissed the idea. While I had learned medicine in the cave and thoroughly enjoyed administering "physical therapy" via the Hundred Medicine Fist Secrets, I had zero desire to become a doctor. Being a physician required a genuine calling to save lives and a profound sense of professional duty. It wasn't a job for someone like me.
Just as I was wondering, Then how on earth am I going to make a living?—
Growl!
"...Ahem."
Even though I was completely alone, I felt strangely embarrassed. My stomach had just issued a loud command to stop overthinking and feed it instead, so I decided to make some lunch.
To be honest, I hadn't really had a reason to cook in my own house until now. Cooking in that cave had been next to impossible due to the lack of proper ingredients. I mean, eating a fasting pill sprinkled with crushed fasting pill powder didn't exactly count as culinary art. I had roasted some of the spiritual herbs and medicines the master had planted in the cave over an open fire, but that could hardly be called cooking either. I had survived by scraping together whatever edible things I could find in the cave, but after four years of that, I had desperately craved a meal prepared by someone else. Because of this, I had been buying my meals from the tavern in the village or leaving the cooking to the three thugs. As a result, I didn't even know what was currently in my own kitchen.
Stepping into the kitchen, the first thing I spotted was some leftover cold rice from breakfast. This isn't going to be enough. Is there anything else?
I found some mustard tubers—commonly known as *zhacai* in Chinese restaurants—and a jar of hosi, a seasoning made by salting and sun-drying oysters before grinding them into a fine powder. There was also a bundle of scallions and a few eggs that Dimwit had grumblingly brought over this morning. Zhacai, cold rice, scallions, eggs, and *hosi*... There was only one dish that could be made with this combination.
I lit the hearth and immediately got to work. I cracked two eggs into a wooden bowl and added half a tablespoon of the salty, savory *hosi* powder. After whisking it thoroughly with chopsticks, I let it sit for a moment to allow the deep umami of the oyster powder to dissolve into the egg mixture. Meanwhile, I drizzled soybean oil into a heavy iron wok and placed it over the hot hearth. I tossed in the finely chopped scallions, stir-frying them until they released their fragrant oils. Just as the rich aroma of scallion oil filled the kitchen, I splashed a bit of soy sauce along the edges of the scorching hot wok, letting it singe slightly to develop a smoky depth. Then, I poured the whisked eggs into the wok, scrambling them rapidly.
Oh man, the scent of the caramelized soy sauce and cooking eggs was absolutely intoxicating. Even as the chef, I was losing my mind. Once the eggs were mostly set, I tossed in the leftover cold rice and tossed everything together over high heat...
"Wow."
Glistening beautifully from the scallion oil and boasting a rich, savory aroma, the egg fried rice was complete, dyed a mouthwatering golden-brown by the caramelized soy sauce. I couldn't help but marvel. Yes, *this* was what fried rice was supposed to be. Sitting down at a table with a view of the yard, I scooped up a steaming spoonful of the fried rice.
"Mmm, oh man..."
After surviving on tasteless fasting pills for so long, eating a proper, freshly cooked meal almost brought tears to my eyes. The crisp bite of the scallions, the rich creaminess of the eggs, and the deep, savory depth of the dried oyster powder... it was an absolute masterpiece. Oyster sauce would have made it even better, but unfortunately, Mr. Lee Kum Sheung didn't exist in this era, meaning I'd have to brew it myself from scratch. And honestly, with the money it would take to make oyster sauce, buying meat would be a much better investment. So while there was a tiny hint of regret, this was the best I could do with what I had.
As I sat there smiling, slowly savoring every bite of the egg fried rice—
"Huh?"
A concept slowly began to take shape in my mind. Food and medicine. There was a way to combine both. The manual on the Medicine Formulation Method had mentioned a specific phrase:
Yaksik-dongwon!
It meant that medicine and food shared the same origin. To put it simply: food is medicine.
I had loved cooking since I was a kid. Before being dropped into this world of martial arts and chivalry, I used to spend my weekends cooking and posting photos on social media. If I could make people healthy through food, wouldn't that be a peaceful way to live? I could live exactly the way I wanted. Besides, this was a martial arts world teeming with spiritual herbs and medicines that actually possessed miraculous, life-extending properties. If I could make food that carried the efficacy of spiritual medicine while keeping it delicious and healthy, it would be a win-win for both me and my customers.
*Gulp, gulp!*
An idea like this had to be put into action immediately. I quickly shoveled the rest of the egg fried rice into my mouth and set off toward the small village at the foot of the mountain. After all, that village was home to the only tavern in the area.