I'm Going to Die
"Chief Chef! We're running out of ingredients!"
"There should be extra in the pantry! If not, substitute it with something else!"
"We're completely out of white rice!"
"It's too late to cook more rice now! For now, use dried noodles—they cook fast! Substitute with dried noodles!"
Crash!
"T-The new servant just shattered the plates!"
"Just dry the dishes we already washed and use those!"
"Someone said there's something weird in their food!"
"What? That's just an anchovy! Have they never seen a fish before?!"
"Chief Chef! The kids from the Eastern Pavilion are swinging their swords at the Northern Pavilion kids, claiming they got here first!"
"Chieeeef Cheeef! The students from Shaolin and Emei are complaining that the vegetarian options are too meager! They say they won't eat until it's fixed!"
"Chieeeef Cheeef!"
"Chieeeeeeef Cheeeeeeeef!"
"Aaaaargh!"
Wow, I'm going to lose my mind at this rate. How many times do they call for me in a single day?
The physical labor itself isn't the problem. Despite my looks, I'm a martial artist who has reached the Peak Realm; I don't get winded over something like this. The problem is the people. To be precise, the flood of students pouring in.
There's no way kids who are elementary and middle school age at best are going to sit quietly. Are these really the finest talents in the Central Plains? They cause every imaginable disaster inside the Outer Dining Hall.
Line-cutters are a dime a dozen, and fights over food break out constantly. The kitchen aunties gave that guy more than me... Sure, let's say that's a valid complaint. But why do they call me to resolve it?
Isn't that the responsibility of the instructors or assistant instructors? Why is a nutritionist like me getting dragged into student disputes?
Besides, what is the most terrifying thing about growing students? It's that their food consumption is on a completely different level compared to adults. A terrifying scene where eighty servings of food vanish in less than ten minutes is unfolding right here in the Outer Dining Hall.
I thought Seonwoo Seol was the only professional mukbanger around, but as it turned out, every single student admitted to the Mutual Righteousness Academy was a mukbang prodigy. It feels like each of them easily polishes off three servings. Honestly, shouldn't they just rebrand the Mutual Righteousness Academy as a YouTube creator academy?
Maybe that's why the servant in charge of cooking the rice has lost almost ten geun since the opening ceremony. My heart aches every time I look at him; I'll have to slip him some ten-year-old fleeceflower root later to help him recover.
Even in this chaotic storm, the kitchen aunties and the veteran servants of the Outer Dining Hall handled everything with practiced ease. In fact, they were far more reliable than me, the Chief Chef.
"Didn't I tell you? It gets absolutely hectic after the opening ceremony."
"...My deepest respect, ladies."
The aunties worked with bright smiles, showing not a single trace of exhaustion. Whether in Korea or the Central Plains, the adaptability of middle-aged women is truly terrifying.
While I was catching my breath with a hollow face, sipping some water to clear my dizzy head, I spotted a group of first-years walking in for lunch after their classes. Since the seventh-years ate first and the first-years ate last, the freshmen were only just arriving.
Judging by the red armbands on their right arms, they seemed to be students from the Southern Hall. Seeing them huddled together like a flock of chicks brought an involuntary smile to my face. Aw, how adorable.
Amidst the chattering little ones, a tall, strikingly handsome young man with a stern expression was keeping the children in line. Normally, the class presidents representing each hall would lead their respective grades, but since the first-years didn't have a president yet, either a seventh-year or a designated assistant instructor took charge.
But who is that guy? He's incredibly handsome.
"Alright, first-years, attention!"
"At-ten-tion!"
"I will only explain this once. Do not be rude to the kitchen aunties or the Outer Dining Hall servants. Eat all your food without leaving any waste, return your trays to the dish return, and wait for your classmates outside. Understood?"
"Yeeees!"
"Alright, enter!"
"En-teeeer!"
They sounded like a bunch of chirping chicks. The older students eating in the Outer Dining Hall found the sight quite endearing as well, chuckling softly as they continued their meals.
"Are you Chef Yoon, the Chief Chef of the Outer Dining Hall?"
The assistant instructor leading the first-years approached me and clasped his hands in a polite martial greeting. *My, what a handsome and well-mannered young man.*
"Yes, I am Yoon Gomyung, the Chief Chef of the Outer Dining Hall. You must have your hands full guiding all these children."
"It is simply my duty. Ah, I am Jegal Mu, an assistant instructor of the Southern Hall."
Unlike the stern expression he wore while managing the kids, he spoke with a gentle voice and a warm smile when addressing me.
Jegal Mu. He was one of the most famous figures in the Academy. If the top-ranked rising star among the female martial artists of the younger generation was the Little Heavenly Demon, Seonwoo Seol, then the undisputed number one among the males was the very man standing before me.
He was hailed as a martial genius the Jegal Clan might see only once in a century, and rumors abounded of his brilliant talent in strategy and formations—the specialties of his clan. I heard he had even taken first place in the provincial civil service exam, the equivalent of the first round of the imperial examinations, but chose to remain a martial artist simply because he loved studying martial arts. He was certainly an eccentric.
On top of that, he was handsome and had a great personality. How could someone like this even exist? It's because of people like Jegal Mu, who possess both the looks and abilities of a Sajon, that average guys like me have a hard time surviving.
"I thoroughly enjoyed the Uyuk Sogoban you prepared for the opening ceremony banquet, Chef Yoon. The cooking method for the smoked beef was particularly astonishing."
"Oh, I am honored that my humble culinary skills could please the palate of the White Fan Young Master. I would be deeply grateful if you visited the Outer Dining Hall more often in the future."
'White Fan Young Master' was Jegal Mu's title. It was given to him because he fought with a white folding fan, and indeed, a white fan with dark metallic ribs was currently hanging from his waist.
"Hahaha, of course I will."
"But what brings you to see me today?"
"Ah, it is nothing major, but... this might be a somewhat important matter. Do you have a moment?"
Jegal Mu's expression turned serious as he lowered his voice. What on earth was he about to ask?
"Pardon? Yes, I have plenty of time, so go ahead."
"Well... I heard that student satisfaction with the meals is exceptionally high this year."
"Meal satisfaction?" I understood what he meant, but... did the students gather around to leave star ratings on my menu or something?
"Providing meals at the Academy is of utmost importance, is it not? It directly affects the students' ability to learn. That is why the Dongdo Association takes an interest in this topic every year, and we conducted a survey to mark the start of the term."
"Ah, I see. There was such a thing."
The Dongdo Association was the student council. I heard Seonwoo Seol and Jegal Mu had also been members at one point.
"Yet, the satisfaction rate this year is unprecedentedly high. This is despite the fact that, given the nature of the Outer Dining Hall, your personal culinary skills cannot possibly reach every single grade. I wanted to ask how you managed this."
Ah, so that's what he was getting at. Jegal Mu was basically asking, 'Yoon Gomyung, you can't possibly be cooking every single meal for all the grades yourself, so why are the kids eating their school lunches so well?' And the answer to that was incredibly simple.
"It's really nothing special... but would you like to know?"
"How did you do it?"
"For the lower grades, I minced the vegetables as finely as possible so they couldn't recognize them, and kept the seasoning light. Instead, I slightly increased the sweetness."
"......Ah!"
"Conversely, for the upper grades, I kept the seasoning similar to adult meals but increased the side dishes and snacks. On days they have outdoor classes, I make the food slightly saltier."
Children usually dislike vegetables because of their bitter taste, but often, they hate them 'just because.' Sometimes, they refuse to eat them simply because their peers aren't eating them. So, I either chop the vegetables so finely that they can't tell what they are, or grind them up completely using a millstone. That way, the younger students eat them without a fuss.
As for the older students, quantity is king, so I generously increased the portion sizes and made sure they could grab sweet confections for dessert. Since they sweat a lot during outdoor training, I seasoned the food a bit more heavily to replenish their sodium levels. I intentionally tailored the menu because each grade has a designated dining schedule.
"...That is truly remarkable."
"We have to do at least this much so the students can study hard and focus on their martial arts training."
If a child is picky about their food, you shouldn't just flick them on the forehead; you need to figure out why they're complaining. Back in my elementary school days, how many kids developed lifelong traumas and couldn't eat certain foods because teachers forced them to eat things they hated? At the very least, such things would never happen under my watch as long as I was the nutritionist.
"I have learned a valuable lesson today, Chef Yoon. You truly care deeply for our students."
"Not at all. A Chief Chef has to do at least this much."
As Jegal Mu clasped his hands in a respectful salute of gratitude, I returned the gesture.
"Ah, by the way. The exact date hasn't been set, but members of the Dongdo Association might drop by the Outer Dining Hall to ask about this."
"I should probably prepare some anticipated questions and draft some good answers, then."
When I replied with a grin, Jegal Mu looked at me with a slightly troubled expression.
"Ah, well... they might be a bit... difficult to deal with."
"Pardon? Difficult?"
"It is not my place to speak ill of others, hahaha. You will understand once you meet them."
What kind of warning is that? He didn't say anything explicitly bad, but he basically just labeled them as people to watch out for. I stared at him, silently prompting him to elaborate, but Jegal Mu merely offered an enigmatic smile and clasped his hands again.
"Well, I must take my leave now to supervise the first-years."
"Are you really not going to tell me?"
"Ahem. You could probably get an answer just by asking any passing student. There are many eyes watching, and it would be better to hear it from them than from me."
Why couldn't he just tell me? As I stared flatly at him, Jegal Mu gave a bright smile and took a step back.
"I must guide the first-years... Chef Yoon, it was a pleasure speaking with you."
"Wait, Instructor Jegal. Where are you going?"
"Hahaha."
"Hey! Don't just laugh, tell me!"
As expected of the leader of the younger generation, his escape speed was incredibly fast. Within seconds, he had slipped right out of the Outer Dining Hall. I couldn't even grab his sleeve before he vanished, leaving me utterly dumbfounded.
Still, I had a bad feeling about this. What on earth was the Dongdo Association doing to make even someone like Jegal Mu react that way?
"Chief Chef! Stop slacking and come help us over here! The servants are too weak to move this!"
"Yes, coming!"
Oops, break time is over. Time to go put some muscle to work.
The day of my promise with Geum Ho arrived.
During the semester, the Outer Dining Hall had to run without a single pause. Because of this, I woke up even earlier than my usual early-rising self.
I wrote down detailed recipes on the blackboard for the kitchen aunties and servants to follow step-by-step, and pre-moved heavy ingredients into the Outer Dining Hall, doing everything I could to help before leaving.
With that done, I headed to the Inner Dining Hall.
Compared to the Outer Dining Hall, which would soon be flooded with students, the Inner Dining Hall was remarkably quiet despite it being morning.
"......."
It was a bit too quiet. As I looked around, I heard hushed whispering coming from somewhere.
"What do we do?"
"He hasn't shown up for work, so what can we possibly do?"
"What a complete mess."
The source of the voices was the servants' breakroom. I had jumped in mid-conversation so I didn't know the full context, but the servants' voices were thick with anxiety.
"Is something wrong?"
"Oh... Chief Chef of the Outer Dining Hall?"
Three servants were huddled together, their faces turning pale with shock as if they never expected me to show up.
"Yes, that's me. Isn't it about time to start cooking? What are you all doing in here?"
"Chef Geum hasn't arrived yet..."
"What? That bas— I mean, that fellow didn't show up for work today?"
That bastard Geum Ho went missing?
"He was supposed to be here two ke—thirty minutes—ago, but there's no sign of him. Another servant went to the West Blue Bird Hall to check on him."
"Never mind him, where is the other chef? There should be at least one more chef in the Inner Dining Hall."
"We haven't seen him either..."
Ah. These bastards planned this.
Knowing I was coming, Geum Ho and his lackey chef must have teamed up and skipped town together.
Normally, if the Chief Chef is absent, the secondary chef must take over. It was the same way the kitchen aunties had run the Outer Dining Hall before I was appointed Chief Chef.
A moment later, the servant who had gone to look for Geum Ho trudged back.
"Oh, Chief Chef of the Outer Dining Hall?"
Seeing how startled the servant was to see me, it seemed Geum Ho hadn't even mentioned my scheduled arrival to them. What would they have done if I hadn't shown up today? The sheer stupidity of it made my head throb.
Since I had to handle the immediate crisis first, I questioned the servant.
"Geum Ho left the Academy, didn't he?"
"Yes, well... he took an emergency leave of absence last night. He did appoint a proxy before leaving, and... that proxy is you, Chief Chef."
And who on earth approved that leave? Ugh, they're all in on this together.
The servants stared at me with wide, pleading eyes that practically screamed, 'What do we do now?' What do you mean, what do we do?
I looked at the servants with a deadpan expression and spoke.
"I will be directing this morning's service in the Inner Dining Hall."
Geum Ho, you bastard. Just wait until you get back. I'm going to show you what hell looks like.