Smoked to Perfection
Coo, coo, coo-coo! Coo, coo, coo-coo!
It was the morning of the entrance ceremony. In the dim twilight of dawn, the distant calls of oriental turtle doves echoed through the air.
"Arghhh!"
I stretched my stiff, cramped body, channeled my *qi* into my hands, and placed them directly over the brick oven.
"..."
The heat radiating from it was intense enough to instantly vaporize any water droplets into white steam. This temperature had been maintained steadily since yesterday evening.
"Ch-Chief Chef!"
"Whoa, you scared me!"
I whipped around at the sudden shout from behind. A young servant boy stood there, staring in sheer panic at my hands.
"Y-Your hands! Your hands! Aren't they burning?"
"Nope."
"Huh?"
"My hands are trained. They don't feel the heat. But don't go touching it yourself to see if I'm bluffing."
Despite my warning, his skeptical eyes made it clear he thought I was pulling his leg. O you of little faith. I suppose you'll have to touch the oven yourself to believe it.
"Yikes!"
"I literally just told you not to touch it."
He hadn't actually touched the bricks, but as soon as he brought his finger close, the blistering heat made him recoil in a hurry.
"Chief Chef, did you train in the kitchens of the Shaolin Temple?"
"Why? Do you think I've mastered the Iron Sand Palm?"
"Yes, sir..."
The Iron Sand Palm was an external martial art where practitioners repeatedly thrust their hands into scorching hot sand.
"If I were using that, the skin on my hands would have been charred to a crisp at this temperature."
"Then how are you doing that, Chief Chef?"
"The Food Deity has possessed me."
"Wh-What?!"
"Don't believe everything you hear."
If I explained that I was simply wrapping my hands in *qi*, rumors would immediately spread that the Chief Chef of the Outer Dining Hall was a hidden master of the martial world. That would only bring more trouble and keep me endlessly busy. It was much better to let some bizarre, harmless rumor circulate instead. A rumor about the Food Deity possessing the Outer Dining Hall's chef wouldn't cause any real problems.
"When the kitchen ladies arrive, give them this. Just tell them to follow the instructions on the paper."
I pulled a small scroll from my robe and handed it over. The young servant's eyes sparkled.
"Is this... your secret recipe, Chief Chef?!"
"No?"
"Pardon?"
"It's just a note telling them to stir-fry some mushrooms and vegetables. I figured they'd forget if I just told them verbally, so I wrote it down."
"Oh..."
Look at him, his disappointment was written all over his face. It was awkward when people didn't believe me, but having them believe in me too much was also a bit of a problem.
"It might look like a simple recipe, but once it's combined with what's inside here, it will create something extraordinary."
I patted the side of the brick oven. The boy looked utterly bewildered.
"Something extraordinary?"
"Yes. And I'll make sure all the servants get a bowl after the entrance ceremony, so tell them not to eat too much breakfast."
"Oh... Understood."
I peeled away the rice flour paste sealing the oven and slid open the iron plate to check on the meat inside.
"Mmm!"
Yes, this was it. This was exactly what I wanted. It looked like a massive, pitch-black stone roasting inside the oven. To the untrained eye, it might look completely burnt, and some might mock me, saying I talked a big game only to ruin the dish. But they would be dead wrong. It was supposed to look this black.
I sealed the iron plate back over the oven to let the meat undergo its final stretch of slow cooking. Soon after, the kitchen ladies arrived for work.
"Chief Chef, the young boy gave us this. Do we really just need to do what's written here?" Mrs. Na asked, pointing at the scroll.
I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Just follow that. Oh, and please make sure to select the best mushrooms."
"Will do. But aren't you exhausted? The boy said you've been standing by this oven since yesterday."
"It's better than letting the meat burn. Besides, youth is my greatest weapon."
I rolled up my sleeves, flexing my massive biceps—which were as solid as ancestral burial mounds. The ladies squealed and clapped in delight. Yep, middle-aged ladies always appreciate a man with a well-built physique.
As the sun rose, the area around the Outer Dining Hall began to bustle with activity. The entrance ceremony was being held at the Great Martial Arts Arena located just behind our building. I wanted to slip away and watch, but I couldn't leave the oven unattended. I figured I'd have to wait until next year...
Wait, actually, why not? If I climb onto the roof of the Outer Dining Hall, I can keep an eye on the oven while watching the ceremony.
I glanced around to make sure the coast was clear, then immediately put my plan into action. Channeling my lightfoot technique, I leaped off the ground and swept onto the roof. From this height, the people below didn't look like ants... but they certainly looked quite small.
In the vast arena, I could see the Dongdo—the academy's unique term for its students—both new and returning, already taking their seats. It was my first time seeing so many students gathered in one place since arriving in the Central Plains, and I couldn't help but wear a proud, fatherly smile. The freshmen were only about eleven years old, roughly the age of upper elementary school students back home, which made them look even more adorable.
Guided by senior students and Gyodu—the assistant instructors—the freshmen filed into their seats in an orderly fashion. Outside the main gates, parents were bidding emotional farewells to their children. Some middle-aged couples were even wiping away tears. Well, they wouldn't see their kids again until summer break, so it was understandable.
As the empty chairs filled up, a burly instructor who looked like a mountain bandit stood on the platform at the front of the arena, scanning the crowd.
"Everyone, take your seats! You there, the first-year in the blue uniform, follow the assistant instructor's directions! And you two, third-years from the Southern Hall! Stop chatting!"
I guess school discipline is the same no matter where you go. The instructor, acting exactly like a strict dean of students, barked orders at the crowd. Soon after, the entrance ceremony officially began. Surprisingly, it didn't feel all that foreign. The order of events was remarkably similar to the school ceremonies back in Korea. Well, actually, there was one thing that caught my attention.
"Proud students of our Mutual Righteousness Academy. I bid you a warm welcome."
I was finally seeing Jo Janglim, the Headmaster of the academy and my direct superior, known by the title Wind and Cloud Sovereign. He looked exactly like a Daoist immortal straight out of a painting. With his long, flowing white beard, matching white hair, and fluttering robes, the look was absolutely perfect. It was a bit of a shame that I could only see the back of the head of the academy's strongest Absolute Master, but as he stepped down from the platform, our eyes briefly met.
"...?"
He looked puzzled at the sight of someone staring down from the roof, but Dan Buyong, the Western Hall Master standing beside him, glanced up and whispered something to him—likely explaining who I was. Upon hearing her explanation, the Headmaster offered me a warm, pleased smile.
The Headmaster saw me! He actually looked at me!
Since the rest of the ceremony was no different from any other entrance ceremony I'd experienced, I slipped back down. Landing silently in front of the oven, I saw Mrs. Park poking her head out from the kitchen, looking around.
"Looking for someone?"
"Oh, my goodness! You scared the life out of me!"
"Why are you so surprised? It's just me."
"But you weren't there a second ago!"
"I have a habit of blending into the background. Anyway, what's going on?"
"Ah, yes. The... mushroom sauce? And the rice are all ready. What should we do next?"
Since the sweet, savory, and tangy mushroom sauce and the rice were prepared, all that was left was to move everything.
"Could you call some of the servants over in a bit? I need to move the portable warming oven for the meat, and it's a bit too heavy for me to carry alone."
"Hohoho, of course. I'll get them right away."
"Oh, and would you like to see the meat? I think it's finally done."
When Mrs. Park nodded eagerly, I slid open the iron plate sealing the oven. As thick plumes of smoke billowed out, I pulled out a charred, black mass. Mrs. Park's face instantly fell.
"Oh dear... It's completely burnt! How are we supposed to eat this?"
"Haha, don't worry. That's just the outer crust."
"An outer crust?"
If you're wondering how a piece of meat that had already been fully trimmed could have a crust, it is only natural that I explain. I grabbed a sharp kitchen knife from the counter and sliced off the end of the blackened mass.
Sliiiice!
The knife was incredibly sharp, but the meat itself yielded with unbelievable ease.
"Oh my goodness! A piece of meat roasted for an entire day cuts that smoothly?"
"You'll be even more shocked when you see the inside."
I turned the sliced end toward her.
"Heavens above!"
"Incredible, isn't it?"
Mrs. Park gasped, her eyes wide with astonishment. A brutally delicious Central Plains-style barbecue—Yoon Gomyung's signature Smoked Beef Brisket—was complete.
Lunchtime arrived after the entrance ceremony concluded. Outside the Four Seas Hall, which usually served as a grand meeting hall, a long row of outdoor dining tables had been set up. Seated before them were the Headmaster, the instructors of each hall, the assistant instructors, and the top-ranking students from the previous year. Every single eye was fixed on one spot.
And where exactly were they looking? Right at me and Geum Ho, who stood facing the crowd near the wall of the Four Seas Hall.
Sensing the anticipation in the air, the Headmaster smiled warmly and began a brief address. "I am deeply grateful to our instructors, assistant instructors, and students for helping us complete another successful entrance ceremony. In the hope that you will dedicate yourselves to your studies and martial arts, and have a meaningful year ahead, I have prepared a small gift."
"A gift?"
"What kind of gift?"
"I hope it's something delicious!"
Watching the students chatter excitedly was quite endearing. I glanced over at Geum Ho, only to find him glaring intensely at me instead of looking at the students. What are you looking at, punk? Is someone paying you to stare at me? Lower your eyes before I lower them for you.
While Geum Ho and I engaged in our silent war of nerves, the Headmaster let out a hearty laugh and introduced us. "The two chefs standing before you today have prepared two different meals. You may line up in front of whichever chef you prefer and request your food."
"Whoaaaa!"
"Headmaster, you're the best!"
"So cool!"
"Hahaha!"
The Headmaster blushed slightly at the enthusiastic cheers from the assistant instructors and students. Yep, nothing wins people over like free food. The atmosphere was incredibly positive, not just among the younger students and assistant instructors, but also among the senior instructors. And for good reason—even instructors didn't get to eat meals prepared by a Chief Chef every day.
Even if Geum Ho's personality was absolute garbage, he still had a reputation. He was known to have trained under a former imperial chef from the palace's imperial kitchens. He was undoubtedly highly skilled. Since opportunities to taste his cooking were rare, everyone was brimming with anticipation.
As for me? Well, rumors about me had been flying around the academy lately. Apparently, I was being hailed as a business genius who had transformed a crumbling mountain tavern into a four-story luxury inn solely through the power of my cooking. Sure, I was a decent cook, but that rumor was wildly exaggerated. It's not like I was some legendary franchise star back in Korea. How could anyone even pull that off?
In any case, there was one person who knew this wasn't just a casual lunch. She raised her hand to confirm.
"I have a question. I heard this meal is actually a duel between the Outer Dining Hall and the Inner Dining Hall. Is that true?"
Seonwoo Seol asked, raising her hand high. Excellent question. Ten points to the Southern Hall... Of course, no such announcement was made, but the Headmaster nodded in approval. Seonwoo Seol was obviously asking because I'd told her about the duel beforehand. Seeing her here, it looked like she had successfully secured the position of assistant instructor for the Southern Hall. As expected of the Little Heavenly Demon.
"Hahaha, I do not know how you heard of it, but indeed, you could call this a friendly duel. The chef whose food runs out first, or the one who serves the most dishes, will be declared the winner."
As the Headmaster confirmed her words, the crowd erupted into excited murmurs. While martial artists clashing with weapons was a common sight, a duel between chefs was a rare spectacle. Everyone buzzed with anticipation.
With all eyes locked onto the two of us, Geum Ho spoke first.
"This is the dish I have prepared for today."
Geum Ho scooped a steaming, piping-hot mixture from a pot beneath the table into a large bowl, presenting it on a tray.
Ah, I recognized that dish immediately. It was something I'd only eaten a handful of times in my entire life. Just looking at the ingredients in the bowl, the sheer luxury of it was staggering. Abalone, squid, sea cucumber, bamboo shoots, scallops, crab meat, shrimp, pine mushrooms... it would be faster to list the premium ingredients he didn't include. The cost of sourcing all this must have been astronomical. On top of that, the effort required to prep and cook each ingredient was immense. This guy really went all out to beat me, didn't he?
"My special masterpiece, Happy Family!"
Geum Ho announced. The crowd gasped in awe at his declaration.
"Whoa!"
"That looks incredible!"
"To think we can eat such high-quality seafood here near the capital!"
Even in Chinese restaurants back in Korea, Happy Family—or Jeongabok—was always one of the most expensive items on the menu. It was a high-end dish made by stir-frying luxurious ingredients like abalone, sea cucumber, shrimp, and pine mushrooms in a rich, starchy sauce. Even without tasting it, I could tell it was of the absolute highest caliber.
Geum Ho bowed politely to the crowd, then shot a sideways glance at me. A smug smirk played on his lips. It was a sneer that said, How could a peasant like you ever hope to defeat me?
...Oh, you are so dead today, punk.
Without saying a word, I opened the lid of the warming oven and reached in with my bare hand to lift out a massive, blackened slab of meat.
"Hah!"
Standing beside me, Geum Ho let out a quiet, mocking snort. I couldn't blame him, considering I had just placed a giant, charcoal-like lump onto the cutting board.
"What is that?"
"It's completely black."
"Is that a decorative stone?"
The whispers from the crowd carried a distinct note of disappointment. Unlike the visually stunning Happy Family, my dish looked downright unappetizing at first glance. But that was only because they hadn't seen what lay beneath the surface.
I set the meat on the cutting board and drew my razor-sharp knife, slicing straight down the center.
Sliiiice!
In stark contrast to its charred, rugged exterior, the interior of the twenty-four-hour smoked beef brisket was incredibly juicy and blushed with a delicate, tender pink hue. A gentle press on the bark sent rich juices cascading down, and the meat was so tender that it threatened to fall apart at the slightest touch.
"...!"
Geum Ho's face instantly froze. The onlookers watching from afar gasped, staring in stunned silence. Despite its unassuming exterior, the inside was the absolute pinnacle of rich, tender barbecue.
I scooped a generous portion of rice into a large bowl, then layered the thinly sliced brisket over it until the rice was completely hidden from view. Next, I drizzled a savory, sweet, and salty brown glaze—made by stir-frying various mushrooms and vegetables in a base of oyster sauce and soy sauce—gently over the top. To balance the rich, fatty meat, I added pickled mustard tubers and crisp, refreshing vegetables as side dishes, arranging everything beautifully on the tray. It was the ultimate rice bowl, crafted by pouring twenty-four hours of patience and skill into a single dish—the absolute best I could offer.
"This is the Smoked Beef Brisket Rice Bowl."
A brief silence fell over the crowd. And then...
"Whoaaaaaaa!"
A roaring cheer erupted from the audience. I glanced sideways at Geum Ho and flashed him a grin. He had to know. Despite the simplicity of the presentation compared to his, the flavor of this dish would be beyond anything he could imagine.
Now, we were on even ground. After all, you never know who's taller until you stand back-to-back.