Deep-Fried or Die
I half-expected her to ask for something like a bone-crushing hug. But no. She was merely keeping a wary eye on Woo Ji-yang, who had only come here for work. It was far too early for her to make such a bold move. Chuckling softly, I looked at Seonwoo Seol and asked,
"Is that all?"
"...Do you need something more?"
"I was waiting because I thought you'd ask for something grander."
"...Do I have to do something grander?"
"This is plenty."
I reached out and readily took Seonwoo Seol's hand. For the hand of the Little Heavenly Demon, infamous for her devastating martial arts, it felt remarkably small and delicate. And quite warm, too.
"Hehe."
"Next time, you can ask for something bolder than this."
"Can I really?"
"Do as you wish. It's not like my hands will wear away."
Was she really that happy about this? Back in Korea, even five- or six-year-old kids walked around holding hands. Seonwoo Seol, who was holding my hand with both of hers and rubbing it as if it were a fascinating curiosity, pointed to the scars on the back of my hand.
"What are these scars?"
"They're scars from when I cooked, before I ever learned martial arts."
"You didn't learn cooking while learning martial arts?"
"I learned to cook long before that."
Sometimes, the kimchi or meat provided as winter rations would be left outside for too long, freezing rock-hard. Diced radish kimchi turned into spicy ice cubes, and napa cabbage kimchi became a solid stone shaped like half a head of cabbage. Pork? It looked exactly like the famous Meat-Shaped Stone in the National Palace Museum. In my desperate attempts to slice... or rather, hack them apart, I ended up with many glorious battle scars on the back of my hand. In a way, those memories were the secret to how I became the head nutritionist of the academy. It certainly made me confident in large-scale cooking.
I was lost in old memories for a moment, then startled as I suddenly remembered what I had forgotten until now.
"Ah, right!"
"What's wrong?"
"I completely forgot I was going to make sweet and sour pork."
I immediately brought a gallon of oil from the pantry, then lifted Seonwoo Seol's hand and lightly kissed the back of it.
"......!"
"See you later."
Knowing she wouldn't let me go unless I surprised her like this, I flashed her a smile and quickly slipped back into the kitchen.
"Was there no oil?"
Woo Ji-yang, who had been engrossed in something at the cutting board for a while, asked with a piece of vegetable in her mouth. She seemed a bit bored, as she was making a simple seasoned vegetable side dish with the kitchen utensils and ingredients. It was a large, oval-shaped vegetable, and I knew what it was without even looking closely.
"No, it's not that. I had to meet someone briefly to discuss something important. Is that winter melon?"
"Yes. There happened to be a plump winter melon, so I seasoned and made it."
This vegetable, which looked like a cross between a watermelon and a zucchini, is called donggwa in the Central Plains and dong-a in Korea. It tasted similar to cucumber but also had a bit of radish flavor, and there were few vegetables as refreshing as this in the summer. Usually, it's used to boil soup or stew, but since the heat hadn't fully subsided yet, she seemed to have sliced it thin and seasoned it.
"May I have a bite?"
"Of course. Please try it."
When I put the seasoned winter melon in my mouth, a crunchy texture immediately came with a salty taste, followed by a slightly pungent kick.
"Oh, this is quite good. Is that garlic and prickly ash at the end?"
"Yes. I only put a little prickly ash, but you recognized it right away."
"How could I forget the numbing taste of prickly ash?"
Having confirmed that the seasoned winter melon made by Woo Ji-yang was delicious, her culinary skills were definitely proven. The Emei Sect had sent a proper chef. Now, shall I try making sweet and sour pork—no, sweet and sour soy meat?
As I told Woo Ji-yang earlier, the original name of sweet and sour pork is dangchoyuk. In Shandong, where Gaeun Inn is located, it means deep-fried pork using dangcho, a very common seasoning made of sugar, vinegar, and starch. Honestly, sweet and sour sauce is a cheat key no matter what it's used on. It goes well with fish as well as meat.
The dangcho seasoning I learned when I was at Gaeun Inn is made like this. First, slice cucumbers, onions, and carrots into bite-sized thicknesses, then stir-fry them lightly. Next, add a little soy sauce, a lot of honey, a splash of vinegar, and about a cup of water, and bring it to a boil. Toss the vegetables in, then mix starch powder with water to make a slurry and pour it in a swirling motion. Stir it continuously so it doesn't stick to the bottom, and boil it until it thickens from the starch slurry. That's all there is to dangcho seasoning. Look at this sweet and sour sauce, turning brown from the soy sauce. Thanks to the starch slurry, it looks perfectly glossy and thick.
"So this is how dangcho seasoning is made..."
"Try some."
I dipped a chopstick in and handed it to Woo Ji-yang. She tasted it lightly and immediately shivered with delight.
"Ah... it's so tangy and delicious...!"
"You can use sugar instead of honey. The Sect Leader and the Grand Elder will probably love it."
"Ah... I'll write that down!"
Ah, look at that bright smile. It must be a joy to work in the Emei Sect's vegetarian kitchen. Anyway, steeling myself again, it was time to make deep-fried food with the soy meat.
First, the batter. Instead of making a watery starch slurry like before, this time I made it a bit thicker and added a splash of soybean oil. I stretched out the soy meat dough I made earlier and cut it into pieces about three knuckles long. If they were too thick, they would be undercooked, and if they were too thin, they would burn, so I had to be careful. While I was cutting the soy meat dough, Woo Ji-yang asked,
"Could we use mushrooms instead of wheat gluten?"
"Ah, mushrooms are great too. Especially, though they're hard to find, Lion's Mane Mushrooms are by far the best. Of course, honey mushrooms are good, and shiitake mushrooms are great too."
*Slurp.* I could hear Woo Ji-yang salivating from here. Deep-fried mushrooms were definitely delicious.
Now that the soy meat was prepped, it was time to coat it in batter and fry it in hot oil. If it were real meat, I would have sprinkled some salt and spices, but since the soy meat was already seasoned to some extent, I just had to coat it and fry it. Hearing the sizzling sound of the soy meat frying, I realized there was indeed magic in deep-frying. I felt a slight pang of hunger, and my mouth was already watering.
"You seem to be able to use a lot of oil at the academy."
"No, it's just that since I manage the budget, I can make it work. I save where I can, and spend generously when needed."
Even though the Mutual Righteousness Academy was an educational institution for martial arts prodigies, as long as I held the kitchen budget tightly, I didn't use only top-grade vegetables. I bought as many ugly but tasty and fresh vegetables as possible, and prepped them so there was almost no waste. In particular, the vegetable scraps were often used for meals for myself, the kitchen cooks, and the servants. Since we cooked in large quantities, the scraps were also plentiful, and it was a waste to throw them away.
"We wash the vegetable roots well to remove all the dirt and stir-fry them, or use them to make vegetable broth."
"I guess frugality works everywhere."
"Of course. We also have to tighten our belts as much as... Huh?"
"Oh, hello!"
While I was scooping out the fried soy meat and letting it cool, Seonwoo Seol suddenly appeared with a bright expression. Looking at her eyes, which weren't smiling, that was definitely a fake smile.
"You haven't left yet?"
"Where would I go? I came to see if 'our' Chef Yoon and the young lady are doing their job well."
She meant she came to monitor us. Honestly, I even kissed the back of her hand, and she's still so suspicious.
"I'm Seonwoo Seol."
"Ah, ah! The Young Cult Leader of the Sacred Cult! I'm Woo Ji-yang, the Vice Chef of the Emei Sect's vegetarian kitchen!"
As Seonwoo Seol clasped her hands in greeting, Woo Ji-yang also clasped her hands in a slightly flustered manner.
"I heard you defeated the previous generation's great devil, the Twin Bat Fiends, along with the Three-Virtue Chef!"
"Oh, my... the rumors must have spread really fast...?"
"Of course! The people of Emei were incredibly amazed that the Little Heavenly Demon and the Three-Virtue Chef punished evil alongside the Poison Dragon Hero!"
"Ah, ah...!"
I could see Seonwoo Seol's childish wariness melting away under Woo Ji-yang's boundless positivity. See, Woo Ji-yang is just someone you can't dislike.
"Since the Little Heavenly Demon is here, why don't you eat with us?"
"May I...?"
"Of course! They say happiness grows when shared, don't they?"
"Ah, ah..."
"Just as Miss Woo said, let's sit down and eat together, Miss Seonwoo. It's almost done."
Hehehe, it was quite a sight to see Seonwoo Seol swept up in Woo Ji-yang's pace. Finally, I fried the soy meat once more to make it extra crispy, then tossed it in the dangcho seasoning I made earlier and stir-fried it lightly. Ah, wait. I should try a piece of the fried soy meat before stir-frying it.
"Here, you two ladies should try some too."
I placed a piece on each of their plates and handed them over. Both of them put the fried soy meat in their mouths. *Crunch, crunch!*
"Mmm...!"
"Is this really not meat?"
"Right? The texture is just like meat, isn't it?"
"Incredibly so. Ah, to think this is wheat gluten."
Seeing the two of them chatting and happily stamping their feet made me feel satisfied. I also picked up a piece and ate it. *Crunch!* A pleasant texture was felt on my teeth and tongue. It was definitely worth frying twice. It wasn't too hard, nor too soft, but just the right texture. It was truly crispy and chewy. Honestly, wouldn't I be able to finish a bowl of rice just eating these fried pieces? Moreover, it had a different taste from the heaviness of pork, and instead, a subtle nutty aroma brushed past, which was quite nice. With this level of taste, I could open a vegetarian Chinese restaurant next to the academy. Should I coax Woo Ji-yang to open a vegetarian Chinese restaurant at the entrance of the Emei Sect? No. I have almost no talent for business. Even at Gaeun Inn, I left the money calculations to others. Let's just be satisfied with cooking like this. Anyway, since I had shown them the taste of the fried pieces, I immediately poured the dangcho seasoning and stir-fried it lightly. For reference, there is no debate about pouring the sauce or dipping the sauce in the Central Plains. Basically, stir-frying it with the sauce is the absolute truth. The sweet and sour soy meat, or dangcho wheat gluten, covered mercilessly in sticky seasoning and giving off a rich feeling, was finally complete.
"Everyone, please eat."
After transferring it to a plate, I placed it on a table in a corner of the kitchen. The two immediately picked up their chopsticks, and as soon as they put a piece in their mouths, they cupped their cheeks.
"It's sooooo delicious...! So this is Shandong's dangcho...!"
Woo Ji-yang, tasting my food for the first time, closed her eyes and was still cupping her cheeks, savoring it. Ah, this sight is exactly why I cook.
Meanwhile, Seonwoo Seol, who had tasted my cooking many times, was not much different. Seonwoo Seol had an expression as if she were about to melt on the spot.
"It's sweet yet sour, and at the same time, you can taste the rich flavor of the wheat gluten. To think that the crispiness is still there even after pouring the sauce and stir-frying it..."
"This dangcho wheat gluten is truly the orthodox way of dangcho."
"Exactly. Chef Yoon, why don't you usually make dangchoyuk?"
"Well, because I didn't have the chance to make it?"
I also like black bean noodles and sweet and sour pork, but it's a bit of a hassle to make them myself. Especially, I really want to eat black bean noodles... but is it because stir-frying sweet bean sauce is somehow bothersome? I just don't get the right excuse to do it.
"Ah, this is the seasoned winter melon made by Miss Woo. You should try some too, Miss Seonwoo."
"Don't they usually boil soup with winter melon?"
"It's also delicious when seasoned and eaten like this, so you can enjoy its crunchy texture."
Seonwoo Seol, nodding at my words and picking up a piece of the seasoned winter melon, smiled brightly.
"It's would go really well with hot weather. I think it would go down easily when you don't have an appetite."
"Don't you think it would go well with porridge too?"
"Exactly. As expected of someone from the vegetarian kitchen, her skills are amazing."
"Ah, no... in Emei, it's just an ordinary side dish we eat with rice."
"That's why it's of a higher level. Do you know how hard it is to eat food that is simple yet filled with heart?"
"I-is that so?"
"Of course. You should take pride in it."
What's this? Why are the two of them hitting it off? It's much better than fighting, but it feels a bit strange. Anyway, there was no one here who would dislike the refreshing seasoned winter melon, let alone the sweet and sour soy meat. The three of us, including myself, devoured it in the blink of an eye. Since it was made as an example to show how to make soy meat, the quantity wasn't that large, so the sweet and sour soy meat on the plate quickly disappeared.
"Ah, that was a good meal."
I was quite satisfied, but looking at Seonwoo Seol and Woo Ji-yang, they seemed to find something a bit lacking. After thinking for a moment about what was missing, I carefully recalled Seonwoo Seol's usual habits. After eating, she always... Ah.
"It's a bit early, but since we've finished eating, shall we have some tea?"
"What about snacks?"
"What's this? You're demanding it so confidently. I do have some osmanthus cake."
"Then it would be delicious to have it with aged tea, wouldn't it?"
"So you're asking for aged tea too."
I feel like Seonwoo Seol is getting more and more shameless lately. She used to walk on eggshells, but these days she just charges straight ahead without a care.
"Just wait a moment. I'll bring the osmanthus cake and the aged tea."
As I stood up with those words, Woo Ji-yang stared intently at Seonwoo Seol and me with an inscrutable smile. Hmm, what's with that subtle look?