The Absolute's First Appearance (1)

"How the hell did they find this place? Damn it!"

Dozens of people stood clustered on a tiny reef island. And right in the middle of them, astonishingly, was a man stamping his feet in agitation.

Kim Jae-guk. Heir to the Sea of Solitude guild — the same man who had once lost Elisha, the most beautiful woman at Bo-il University, to Lee Seonghun.

"Luck, most likely. There's no way the Hero Association caught on. We have people in the government. As long as they keep covering for us, we might as well be a ghost guild."

The blonde elf at his side offered the reassurance. She was a new recruit Jae-guk had hired because she reminded him of Elisha — and she fell painfully short of replacing that face.

Elisha. That filthy mouth that used to tear into me, that snow-white skin, that soft flesh… Why did you throw me away and even take a leave from school? Did that bastard's hospital throw that much money at you? I've got money too!

Looking at the new elf only backfired. His longing for Elisha swelled by the second.

This one can't even talk trash properly, her chest is smaller than Elisha's, and look at that vacant expression. Haaah. Elisha… I miss you. You're thinking about me too, right?

At that very moment, Elisha was thinking about Seonghun's cock.

"Let's just bury them alive."

"Yes. I'll relay the order to the giant beasts."

A roar rolled across the water like a mountain splitting open. Avatars of the Black Tortoise — each one the size of an island — floated on the sea and bellowed, their cries shaking the air. Dozens of them lined up in a row, and their combined bulk was a mountain range unto itself. And it wasn't only the Black Tortoise avatars. Colossal beasts classified at disaster-grade loomed over the reef, staring down at the island with the patience of gods waiting to crush an anthill.

Thunder cracked. The avatars began their assault. The impact sent tidal waves surging toward the island — waves that parted neatly around Kim Jae-guk and his people, leaving them untouched.

"They're coming out!"

Figures burst from underground.

"That bastard. I knew it was that bastard. That son of a bitch!"

A grudge that refused to die. Lee Seonghun came charging out of the underground dungeon with his enormous cock swinging freely — there hadn't been time to put clothes on. Behind him, twenty heroes sprinted after him, stealing glances at that same swinging cock as they ran.

"Damn it! The Hero Association. Public institution, so they don't take bribes, and they always veer off in the weirdest direction."

Kim Jae-guk clicked his tongue and let his eyes wander over the heroines' figures in their costumes. Then, behind them, something vast and transparent gathered itself out of the water. The mass of liquid coalesced, twisted, and took the shape of a giantess.

"A Melquibus!"

Greed flooded Kim Jae-guk's eyes as he stared at Thalia.

"This time I'll make her mine for sure!"

But could he? To seduce a Melquibus, a man had no choice but to dangle his own cock as bait.

Seonghun's midsection hung with a majesty that needed no introduction. Kim Jae-guk looked at it. Then he looked at his own.

The pathetic ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠little thing dangling there said everything that needed saying about the gulf between them.

"Ghhk! Kill them! Kill them all and offer them up as sacrifices to the Demon God!"

"Yes! Call in reinforcements! It's a blood festival!"

"They dare destroy a key stronghold? Do you have any idea how much time and money it took to build this place?"

Kim Jae-guk's subordinates stared at the collapsing reef dungeon with hollow faces.

The elf beside him lifted a pipe to her lips and blew. The surface of the sea began to tremble. Things the size of beans boiled up from below — except they weren't beans. There were simply so many of them that they looked like beans from a distance. They were the heads of tens of thousands of monsters.

A wet, choking roar rose with them. Tens of thousands of monsters hauled themselves out of the water, coming to kill the heroes.

"You're Kim Jae-guk? Fuck, you micropenis bastard!"

"What? Micropenis? You're the one who forced yours to grow that big!"

"Did the doctor's hand slip during your circumcision as a kid?"

"Ghhk! Hhk, hhk! Hhk! Stop it!"

"This is why you don't get plastic surgery or a circumcision when you're little. Take a picture of that thing and send it to a medical school. It's a failure worthy of a textbook."

"Stop! Khhk! Hhk-hhk! Stoooop! Why are you doing this to me! Stop! Please, stooop!"

"It's not like you use it. Why not just have it removed? If you started out as a man, the women might still go for you. Is your testosterone even working?"

"Y-you! You're a complete psychopath!"

"You're the psychopath."

"What? Why?"

"Most serial killers are impotent. Just like you."

"AAAAAAARGH!"

Something snapped inside Kim Jae-guk's skull. We locked eyes.

"I knew you were a shady little shit. Pontus. That's the name of the one ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you serve, isn't it? Where is that bastard right now? Hiding like a rat in the deep end of some dungeon?"

"H-how do you know about Him?"

"It's not just Pontus. I can break that bastard's curse, too."

"Lies! His curse is not some trifle a mere human can undo! It is the mark of a vastly higher being!"

"Heh. It vanished like a pathetic little thing the second I shoved my cock in. Ah — right. You couldn't imagine that with yours."

"What?"

Every woman standing nearby turned to stare at the sheer presence of my cock.

"That's impossible! He is an Absolute! His power would never vanish over something so absurd!"

But the bodies of the countless women standing behind me had already returned to normal.

"H-how! Th-this can't be real!"

Kim Jae-guk's hands began to shake.

"Kim Jae-guk. Talk. Tell me where the bastard you serve is hiding, cowering like a scared puppy."

"Kh! Puhahahaha! You're surrounded by monsters pouring out of over a hundred dungeons. A scared puppy? That's you right now. Why should I tell someone like you where He is?"

"Pontus. Tell me where that son of a bitch is. Now. I've suffered enough. I want to rest."

"You want to rest? Kuhahaha. I'll let you rest in death, you brainless beast with nothing but a filthy huge dick. And once you're dead, I'll tell your gravestone where He is."

I grinned.

"Is that so? Then that means you know where Pontus is."

"I do. Heh heh heh. What? Jealous that I enjoy the favor of one so great?"

"Look at your dick. I'm not jealous — I feel too sorry for you to even hit you. Ah. There's a breeze. Better cover it with your hand before it blows away."

"Y-y-you…!"

I pulled a special pager from my inventory.

"What? Calling for backup? Kuhuhu. Even if you call them now, you think they'll get here before you all die?"

"They might, if they can fly at several hundred times the speed of sound."

"What? Who in the world can do that?"

"Exactly one person. A terrifying one."

I pressed the pager's button.

"Kuhaha! What secret weapon? A nuke? Magic won't even let you aim one of those properly out here!"

He raised a hand and pointed at us.

"Kill them! They stand against the Great One! Use every woman behind them as a sacrifice!"

The sea erupted in howls. Beasts shrieked as they surged forward.

There were a staggering number of beasts that looked genuinely dangerous. And among them, the worst of the worst—

Beasts of impossible size floated on the water. Sea serpents. Draconic things that hung in the air as if the sky itself had grown scales. Monsters that stared down at us with eyes that made the skin crawl. Every last one of them wore the face of a demon announcing the end of the world. A nauseating aura rode the waves and killed every fish it touched.

Steel whispered from a scabbard. Ryu Su-gyeong stepped forward and put herself between me and everything else.

"Noona."

"Keeping my client alive is my job. Stay back."

Plum-blossom sword-ki bloomed from her blade and filled the air like a storm of petals.

A roar answered her. Cheon Yu-ha, the Flame Wolf, poured everything she had into the oncoming horde.

The blast tore a hole in the front ranks. The other heroes formed up around the civilians and fought back, but the sheer numbers were drowning them. They couldn't even catch their breath.

That was when Kim Jae-guk began to change. A shark's fin split from his back. A horn pushed out of his forehead like a unicorn's. Hard scales erupted across skin that had been smooth a moment before.

That pathetic Kim Jae-guk was now a powerhouse on the same level as Ryu Su-gyeong. Just what kind of creature was this Pontus, to hand out authority like that?

Steel rang on steel. Kim Jae-guk's blade crashed into Ryu Su-gyeong's.

"Kh!"

She gave a single step. A nasty little smile crawled across Kim Jae-guk's face as he pressed the advantage, driving her back. Sparks flew. Petals of sword-ki scattered. He had her on raw power — but his technique didn't reach the soles of her feet. A cut opened across his face.

Ryu Su-gyeong had already read him. His body was the only thing he had, so she started taking him apart at her leisure. A spray of blood. He screamed and swung wild.

"Gaaah! Die! Elf!"

Where she passed, only plum-blossom sword-ki drifted on the air. Not a single one of Kim Jae-guk's attacks so much as grazed her.

"Stop running! Stand and fight!"

"Throwing a tantrum in the middle of combat. How shameful. I shall grant you the chance to take your own life. Preserve what little honor you have left."

"WHAAAAAT! You and that bastard of a husband of yours are both experts at pissing me off!"

Steel screamed. This time the force of his blow shoved Ryu Su-gyeong a half-step back.

Why did she just get weaker?

"Ah… aaaaah…!"

Ryu Su-gyeong's face went red enough to burst.

"Aaaaah, I haven't even gotten married yet…"

She said it in a voice so small a dying mosquito would have been louder. Not a single person on that island heard her properly.

"M-married… I… I…!"

Sword-ki scattered like falling petals.

"Aaaah…!"

A thunderclap went off inside her skull. Her entire life unspooled in front of her eyes like a panorama she couldn't stop.

"HAAAAAAAH!"

Ryu Su-gyeong's runaway delusion had turned her body sluggish. An opening. Kim Jae-guk, who had been one breath from dying, saw the elf leave a gap and nearly sagged with relief.

"O great god! Grant me your power once more!"

A heartbeat. Then another — a massive, pounding rhythm from somewhere that had no right to have a heart.

"AAAAAAH! It's coming! The power!"

Ten arms burst from Kim Jae-guk's back. Where hands should have been, harpoons jutted from the wrists, black smoke coiling off the tips. Poison. No question.

"Time to die, elf."

Ryu Su-gyeong closed her eyes. Calm. She slipped and parried his dozens of strikes as if she were walking through rain.

"Oh, come on! Noona, why the hell did you leave an opening in the middle of that?!"

The latest evolution had pushed Kim Jae-guk up another full step, to level 90. Those poisoned arms were obviously part of it. But better stats didn't magically give him better technique.

Steel rang. Petals scattered. Ryu Su-gyeong's blade punched through Kim Jae-guk's eye.

"You've grown stronger. But you have not adapted to your own flesh."

"Ghhk! My eye! I'll kill you!"

"I shall let you live in darkness for the rest of your days as well."

Blades crossed and parted in a blur. God. A real master was something else. She had a far stronger opponent right in front of her and didn't show a shred of fear. If anything, she grew calmer, laying down her moves one by one, dismantling him a step at a time.

"Die! Die! Die! Die!"

"Your attacks are getting sloppier. Can you not even control your own body?"

Blades began to sprout along Kim Jae-guk's tail.

Good god. At levels that high, a single level was a canyon — and he was ninety-one. I mashed the pager like it owed me money while the two of them tore into each other at a speed the eye could barely follow.

"Damn it! Why isn't this working?! Eye of Truth! Fix it already!"

What?

The other pager had to be in Selectio's hands. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠And she was trapped somewhere?

Then it hit. A detonation rolled in from far away, a sound big enough to swallow the horizon. There were so many monsters that even the ones on the outer edge got caught in the blast.

A deep, heavy drone filled the sky. Bombers. Their bays opened, and dozens of figures dropped from the hulls. The airborne beasts lunged for them — and in the middle of that killing field, someone in a flying squirrel suit came screaming down at high speed.

He landed in front of me like he'd practiced it in a mirror, and pulled off the helmet.

A familiar face.

"Bojikis?"

She shook her hair out, turned to look at me, and smiled like she had all the time in the world.

"Your ball-buddy's running a little late, so I scrambled in a hurry."

A compact hydrogen bomb dropped from one of the bombers and detonated on the water. The blast cooked an enormous swath of beasts where they swam.

"Nukes? The government already knew? How? Our politicians couldn't possibly have missed this!"

Kim Jae-guk's face twisted as he stared up at the bombers.

"America? A Grand Master-rank hero, then. The Ruler. This has that bastard's fingerprints all over it. Ghhk!"

I grabbed Bojikis by the wrist and pulled her over to where the heroes were holding the line.

"Please call me Whitehall, Seonghun. Only the men I've given permission may call me Bojikis."

Behind her, a mushroom cloud of pure white steam climbed into the sky. The giant beasts answered. Bombers took hits, trailing black smoke, and slammed into the water one after another.

"Where's the enemy commander?"

"That bastard knows."

I pointed at Kim Jae-guk.

"What a monster. Going toe-to-toe with the White Plum Sword Flower…"

"If you're only looking at physical ability, the White Plum Sword Flower isn't even in his league. We have to put him down before he finishes adapting to that body. Damn it. If Selectio doesn't show, none of this matters."

Steel rang. A wet punch of a sound. Against every worry I had, Ryu Su-gyeong's blade found Kim Jae-guk's other eye.

"AAAAAH! What is this! I can't— I can't see!"

"They've put a legendary blade in a water-whelp's hands. Lü Bu stripped of his Sky Piercer — that is precisely what you are. Now die."

That was when it happened. Blink. Blink. Blink. Dozens of eyes erupted across Kim Jae-guk's body and locked onto her.

"If you have dozens of eyes, I shall simply pierce dozens of eyes."

Blades crossed.

"Hm?"

A wet, ugly sound. Kim Jae-guk's hand punched through Ryu Su-gyeong's stomach.

"Noona!"

"Must be the extra eyes. I can see every move you make. Kuhuhuhuhu."

Ryu Su-gyeong waved me off.

"Don't come…"

The next blow launched her. She flew, and her sword hit the ground and skidded away like scrap.

"Noona!"

I smashed the pager against my palm, over and over, until the casing cracked.

"Selectio! Fuck! Shin Tae-hee, you bitch! Why is it that you never show up when we actually need you, what the fuck is wrong with you! Get over here and save us! You want to watch your husband get torn to pieces by these bastards? What kind of number-one hero are you! If this is how it's gonna be, quit being a hero! You bitch!"

I roared into the pager until my throat burned. The pager said nothing at all.

A wet dragging sound. Kim Jae-guk had Ryu Su-gyeong by the ankle and was tearing her clothes off.

"Kuhuhu. What a prize. Ever had a taste of a man? I'll play with you nice and slow before I kill you."

His eyes crawled over her bare skin with naked greed.

"No way a beauty like this is still a virgin, right?"

In that instant, space itself tore open beside him with a sound like the world being ripped down the middle. A woman in a hero costume — red gloves, the rest of the suit catching the light — had both hands on the edges of the wound in the air, prying it apart. She scowled as she dragged herself out of the torn space.

"Uuuugh. So loud."

A platinum-blonde beauty drifted gently to a stop beside Kim Jae-guk and laid a hand on his shoulder.

Bone crunched.

"GYAAAAH!"

Something tore.

"GEEEEEHK!"

A wet, grinding snap.

"KIEHHHK!"

It took less than a minute for every limb on Kim Jae-guk's body — everything but his head — to cease existing.

"Sorry I'm late, friend. I was stuck in a trap thanks to that Astaroth bastard."

Selectio said it with a faint crease between her brows.

"Transcending space-time isn't exactly easy. And then you had to go and make the pager scream like that right ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠next to my ear."

"What? The pager shouldn't have even rung."

"What?"

"You were in another dimension. The pager didn't work."

This psycho had definitely planted a bug on me somewhere. Or a spell. A stalker so thorough it made your skin crawl. She'd been watching every private second of my life with something close to omniscience. A surveillance tool — or a magic — that worked even across dimensions.

"Ahem! It was working just fine on my end! Did you even read the manual?"

"No."

"I knew it! Anyway, what is all this?"

Selectio looked around. Tens of thousands of monsters — no, hundreds of thousands — had the little reef island completely surrounded. And she hadn't even killed Kim Jae-guk. Which meant this homicidal maniac already knew he was the one who knew where Pontus was. She'd overheard every word of our conversation. No question.

"Let's thin the numbers a bit first."

A terrible red light ignited in both of her eyes, a glare like demon-fire braided with lightning.

The heroes saw what was coming and dropped, dragging the civilians down with them.

The beams carved a ring around the island. In a single second, hundreds of thousands of monsters became a few dozen.