The Mad Hero's First Devotion

I stumbled ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out of the auditorium. The spring breeze brushed against my cheek like a scratch. Behind me, the principal’s furious shouts and the students’ chaotic uproar echoed. Some were calling our names, others were screaming as if in panic. But all those sounds receded like waves the farther we moved from the grand hall doors.

Adelia walked ahead, her hand tightly wrapped around mine. Her grip was so strong it felt like my wrist bones were screaming. But I couldn’t cry out in pain here. Not after I’d just shattered the original story’s scenario in front of thousands of people. I couldn’t suddenly whine, “My hand hurts.”

‘Fuck, my wrist is gonna snap.’

I’d gotten caught up in the moment and blurted it all out. That I’d save Adelia. That she shouldn’t make any vows. That she should trust me. But once we stepped outside and the cold air filled my lungs, reality came crashing back.

The person beside me was the strongest combat force in this entire world. And she was a walking time bomb with her mental strength shattered at negative ninety-nine percent. I still couldn’t be sure who was holding whose leash.

We arrived behind an old, rarely used building. A dilapidated brick structure stood beside an untended flowerbed, and between them rose a massive zelkova tree. Sunlight filtered through its branches in scattered fragments, casting deep shadows beneath that few eyes ever reached.

Adelia’s steps halted. She suddenly yanked her hand free from mine. Silence fell.

“Adelia?”

The moment I cautiously called her name—

“……Ugh!”

In an instant, Adelia shoved me backward. My back slammed into the zelkova’s rough bark. The coarse grain scraped my spine through my uniform, and all the air in my lungs exploded out at once. One of her hands twisted into my collar. In the other, a dagger had already appeared.

Schlick.

Cold metal grazed my neck. This wasn’t a mere threat. The blade sliced my skin thinly, and hot blood trickled down my throat. My breath caught. My legs trembled on their own. The person before me wasn’t the pitiful heroine from the novel.

She was a murderer who had traversed nine hundred and ninety-nine battlefields and severed thousands of necks. Facing that truth in the flesh, my body understood first.

‘I’m really going to die.’

Adelia lifted her head. Crimson eyes gleamed through her disheveled platinum hair. The cold gaze made the image of her kneeling and weeping before me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠moments ago feel like an illusion.

“You.” Her voice dropped low. “Who the hell are you?”

“……”

“F-class dropout Roy. Zero mana sensitivity. Bastard son of a fallen provincial noble.”

My personal information flowed from her lips in a dry monotone.

“There was no variable like you in any of my memories.”

Adelia’s eyes narrowed.

“You were supposed to be an extra who quietly rotted away and died in a month.”

Of course she knew. She knew this body had been fated to die in a month.

The spot where the blade touched my neck throbbed. Blood seeped into my shirt. The warm sensation was so vivid that my mind grew strangely cold instead.

Adelia’s face drew closer. Too close. Her breath brushed my throat. I could feel her body heat through her perfectly fitted uniform, and her white shirt stretched dangerously with each ragged breath. A sweet scent grazed the tip of my nose, but the blade pressed against my neck prevented any misunderstanding.

This wasn’t seduction. It was verification. One wrong answer, and my throat would open.

“Yet you remember me.” Adelia whispered. “You knew about my death. You called my name. You even knew things I could never speak aloud.”

The tip of the blade dug in a fraction deeper. The skin near my Adam’s apple stung as it split.

“It’s as if…” Her crimson eyes pierced straight through mine. “You know everything about me.”

“……”

“Tell me. What are you?”

My brain went blank. One slip here and I was dead. I had to convince a mad hero that a variable absent from her nine hundred and ninety-nine regressions was real. Perfect logic? No. What Adelia needed right now wasn’t logic. It was emotion. A truth she desperately wanted to believe.

I barely parted my trembling lips.

“A dream.”

“……A dream?”

“Yeah.”

I ignored the blood flowing down my neck. Looking away meant death. I stared directly into her crimson eyes.

“A very long, horrific nightmare.”

Adelia’s eyebrows twitched faintly.

“A dream where one woman dies nine hundred and ninety-nine times trying to save the world.”

“……”

“She comes back to life, only to die again. Limbs severed, betrayed by comrades, losing everyone she loves, and finally returning to a hell where no one remembers her.”

The hand gripping the dagger trembled ever so slightly. I didn’t stop.

“I wasn’t just watching.” My voice cracked. “When your arm was cut off, it felt like mine was being severed too. When your breath stopped, it felt like I was dying with you. I saw it every single ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠night.”

Half of it was a lie. But the other half was truth. I had read her hell on paper. Her deaths had been nothing but text. Yet those nine hundred and ninety-nine failures refused to fade from my mind. The pain I’d felt as a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠reader and the final scene I’d just witnessed firsthand had merged so completely that I could no longer tell where sympathy ended and memory began.

“Nine hundred and ninety-nine times.” I clenched my teeth. “You think I could stay indifferent after seeing all that?”

Adelia’s lips turned deathly pale.

“When I opened my eyes, you were right in front of me. The woman I wanted to save so desperately in that dream was about to die in the exact same spot again.”

I forced my voice steady. The instinct to survive overpowered the pain in my neck.

“So I stopped it.”

“……”

“There’s no other reason.” I swallowed. “Because the only two people who truly understand this hell are you and me.”

Silence descended. The wind rustled the zelkova leaves. Adelia’s crimson eyes wavered. First with suspicion. Then confusion. And finally, a desperate longing to believe.

The strength drained from the hand holding the dagger.

“Ah……”

A soft gasp escaped her.

“You too.” Her lips trembled. “You saw it too.”

The dagger tip fell away from my neck. Adelia stared at me for a long time. Within those eyes that had burned with murderous intent moments ago, new emotions began to spread. Relief. Obsession. And faith.

“Oh my.” She drew in a small breath. “I’m sorry.”

Her attitude flipped one hundred and eighty degrees. The face hardened by killing intent melted instantly. A dangerously soft, strangely sweet smile curved her lips.

“Did it hurt, my god?”

“……What?”

“I must have been too sensitive.”

Slide.

She slipped one leg between mine, locking me in place. She was so close. Too close. Her breath touched my neck, and her body heat pressed against my chest through our uniforms. Her full curves pushed and pulled with every breath in an unmistakably vivid way.

But this wasn’t seduction. It was the overwhelming pressure of absolute power. If she applied even a little strength, I would shatter.

“……Ugh.”

A choked groan slipped out. Adelia tilted her head and gazed at the wound on my neck.

“Blood.”

Her red tongue traced her lips. The next moment, her face lowered to my throat.

Slurp.

“……Hup!”

A hot, wet sensation dragged across my neck. Adelia was licking my blood. Like a fanatic savoring the holy blood of her savior. Like a starving beast drawn to the scent of blood. The moment her tongue brushed the open wound, my body stiffened reflexively. Pain, ticklishness, and an indescribable sense of blasphemy crashed over me all at once.

‘Haa…… she’s completely insane.’

She was truly, thoroughly mad. Fear. Revulsion. And the strange heat that wormed its way between them. All those sensations tightened around my throat at once.

“It’s sweet.”

Adelia wiped the blood from her lips with her thumb. The smile on her face was ecstatic. Mental strength negative ninety-nine percent. That number hadn’t appeared for nothing. Facing that horrific, broken expression, rational thought briefly halted.

I reached out with trembling hands and pulled her into my arms. This wasn’t a formal embrace. The woman I had only ever watched from the pages of a book. The person who had died countless times without anyone ever understanding her. That woman was trembling in my arms right now. So I pulled her even tighter.

“……It must have been painful.”

Adelia’s body froze.

“All that time.” I wrapped my arms around her back. “How much it must have hurt, being alone.”

That was all it took.

Clang.

The dagger fell to the ground.

“……Hic.”

Adelia buried her face in my chest. Her shoulders began to shake. At first it was small. Then it grew uncontrollably.

“Hwaaaaang……!”

It was a sob. A torn scream like an animal’s howl echoed beneath the zelkova tree. I silently patted her back.

That was when it happened.

‘……It went up.’

The number of despair that had refused to budge even a fraction had changed. Only one percent. But to me, it was a miracle no different from a lifeline.

Adelia’s nose brushed against my neck. She inhaled slowly, as if confirming my scent. As if checking whether I was real, whether this warmth wasn’t another illusion.

“It’s warm.” Adelia murmured. “It’s real. Not an illusion.”

Her body trembled violently.

The status window blinked red. She was anxious. Afraid this warmth would vanish like another mirage.

I held her shoulders firmly and slowly stroked the platinum hair that spilled down her back.

“I’m right here.”

“……”

“I won’t disappear.”

Adelia lifted her head. Her crimson eyes were a mess of tears and my blood.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“You won’t abandon me?”

“I won’t.”

“You won’t leave me alone?”

I swallowed. I couldn’t be vague here. What she needed was certainty.

“Never.” I put strength into my voice. “Even if you struggle and say you hate it, I won’t let go.”

“……”

“I’ll take you with me to the very end.”

Adelia’s expression melted in an instant.

“Hehe……”

She rose onto her tiptoes. A quick kiss brushed my lips and pulled away. It was brief. But the wet heat lingered. The monster who could destroy the world blushed shyly in my arms.

Yet I couldn’t let my guard down. Her fingertips still clutched my clothes, and the strength in each finger was inhuman. Touch her wrong, and I wouldn’t be loved—I’d be broken.

I needed control. I gripped her shoulders and gently pushed her back.

“Adelia.”

“Yes.”

“Listen carefully.”

“Just give me your command.”

Her crimson eyes sparkled.

“Whose throat should I slit? The principal? The emperor? Or that guard who was staring at you earlier?”

She spoke of murder as casually as choosing a dinner menu. I was momentarily speechless.

“No.” I barely regained my composure. “We’ll save the bloodshed for later.”

“Ah……” Adelia lowered her head. “If you don’t like it, I won’t do it.”

“Right now, we need to act. Behave like you normally would. Return to the dormitory as if nothing happened.”

“……I don’t want to.”

An immediate answer. Her brows furrowed.

“I don’t want to be apart from you. Not even for a second.”

“Adelia.”

“Can’t we share a room? I’ll sleep under the bed. Outside the door is fine too. I can even hang from the window.”

“Adelia.” This time I lowered my voice. Her mouth snapped shut.

“Endure it for now.”

“……”

“That will be proof that you trust me.”

At the word trust, Adelia’s body stiffened. She bit her lower lip hard and stared at me for a long time. Her crimson eyes wavered. The desire not to let go and the faith that wanted to obey my words clashed inside her.

In the end, she slowly nodded.

“I’ll do it.”

“Good.”

“I’ll prove it.” She pressed her lips to the back of my hand. “That you are my one and only god.”

I stroked her cheek. Adelia rubbed her face against my hand as if reluctant to part. She closed her eyes as though begging for more, but eventually took a step back.

“If you call me,” she said, “I will come without fail.”

“I know.”

“You really have to call me.”

“I will.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I won’t.”

Only then did Adelia turn around. The hem of her white uniform melted into the shadows. Her platinum hair caught the sunlight between the leaves, flashing white for a moment, before she vanished around the corner of the old building.

After confirming she was completely gone, I finally let out the breath I’d been holding. The strength left my legs. I nearly collapsed on the spot.

“Haa……”

My neck stung. When I touched it, my hand came away bloody.

‘I survived.’

For now, at least. But the thought that came before relief was something else entirely.

‘How the hell am I supposed to handle her from now on?’

I had said I would save her. That I would take her to the end. Words were easy. But the reality was that the world’s strongest being, with mental strength at negative ninety-eight percent, had begun to worship me as a god. One slip in management and a massacre could erupt instead of salvation.

And I was F-class. Zero mana sensitivity. This body was an extra scheduled to die quietly in a month.

‘I’m fucked.’

It was a short, accurate conclusion.

I started walking. With the adrenaline gone, my entire body felt as heavy as waterlogged cotton. Pain throbbed in every joint, and the scrapes from the tree bark still burned across my back. The wound on my neck was shallow, but the blood had soaked into my uniform and turned sticky.

Before long, the weed-choked old dormitory came into view. The place where commoners, bastards, fallen nobles, and dropouts gathered. The Empire Academy’s trash bin. Naturally, this was where Roy had been assigned.

“Huh?”

Just as I reached the entrance.

“Hey, there he comes.”

A disgustingly familiar voice embedded deep in my memory. Kyle. The trash from a baronet family who had trampled Roy since their territory days. He stood at the dormitory entrance with two lackeys, snickering.

“Hey, Roy.” Kyle approached. “Have you lost your mind? Running off in the middle of the entrance ceremony—where the hell were you hiding?”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t have the energy. Kyle’s eyes scanned my uniform and neck.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The corner of his mouth twisted. “Where did this beggar bastard roll around to come back covered in blood?”

“……Move.” I spat dryly. I had no strength to deal with him.

But that attitude clearly scratched his nerves.

“Oh?” Kyle’s face contorted. “You hold the hero’s hand once and suddenly you think you’re hot shit?”

At that moment—

“Kuhk……!”

The air in my lungs burst out instantly. The pain of stomach acid surging upward. My vision went white as my body folded on its own. I collapsed face-first into the dirt.

‘Fuck.’

‘This really fucking hurts.’

“Know your place, you parasite!”

Thud!

A kick slammed into my side. My body rolled. Then another foot came down on my back.

Thud! Thud!

An F-class body with no mana tumbled like a sandbag. I curled up, protecting my vital points, and bit down hard to swallow the screams rising in my throat.

That was when it happened.

‘……She shouldn’t be watching this.’

I swallowed the blood pooling in my mouth. If Adelia saw this, it was over. The murderous intent I had barely restrained earlier might explode again. If it ended with Kyle, that would be lucky. The entire old dormitory could turn into a sea of blood.

Yet the gaze on my back didn’t disappear. Somewhere. Definitely. Someone was watching me.

“Look at this bastard laughing.” Kyle grabbed a fistful of my hair. “Did you think you were something special just because the hero looked at you?”

“……”

“Trash like you belongs on the ground for life.”

He slammed my face into the dirt. The taste of soil and blood flooded my mouth. His lackeys laughed.

“Kyle, isn’t he gonna die at this rate?”

“Dying would be better. He’s just a bastard anyway.”

“But the way the hero looked at him earlier was kinda weird.”

“Must’ve been a mistake. Why would the hero look at a bug like him?”

Kyle laughed even louder. He lifted his foot to stomp on my head.

“Die, you piece of garbage.”

At that moment—

Kyle’s foot froze in midair.

“……Huh?”

The laughter vanished from his face. It looked as if an invisible force had seized his entire body. His foot wouldn’t descend. His arms stiffened. Only his pupils shook wildly.

Sssss.

The old shadows on the dormitory wall rippled like waves. Two golden eyes rose from within the darkness.

‘Adelia?’

No. The presence was different. If it had been Adelia, it wouldn’t have been this quiet. This was wetter. More sinister.

Crack!

“Uwaaaaaaaaagh!!”

A horrifying tearing sound erupted. Kyle’s right knee bent backward at an unnatural angle. Bone tore through flesh and protruded. He foamed at the mouth and writhed on the ground.

“M-my leg…… my leg……!”

“H-hiiik!”

“Run! She’s crazy!”

The two lackeys fled, faces pale as death. I lay with my face buried in the dirt, barely clinging to my fading consciousness.

Who did this? It wasn’t Adelia. Then who—

Click. Click.

The sound of heels echoed across the dormitory courtyard. Someone was approaching. The steps were different from Adelia’s sharp stride. Slower. More leisurely. Strangely soft.

At the edge of my nearly closed vision, dazzling white high heels came to a stop.

“Oh my.”

A sweet voice that tickled my ear. The scent of lilac enveloped my nose. It was sweet. So overwhelmingly sweet that just breathing it in made my head grow hazy.

“Look at this.” She laughed. “There’s an abandoned puppy here?”

With those words, my consciousness cut off.