Chapter 30
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: What I Needed Wasn't a Dagger or Knuckles
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What I needed right now wasn't a dagger or knuckles, but my dick.
Time flew by, and the day of the dungeon raid arrived.
We met at the dungeon entrance instead of going to Hero Academy, following the instructions.
'Everyone's come fully prepared.'
Tatacum had a massive pillar-like thing strapped to his back that I'd never seen before, and Marren and Airi were also geared up with new equipment.
No matter how low-grade the dungeon was, it couldn't be guaranteed 100% safe, so in a way, it was only natural.
"Kim Geon-ho, didn't you prepare anything separately?"
Compared to their ready outfits, I looked no different from usual, so Tatacum couldn't hold back his curiosity and tossed out a comment.
"I'm a Mountain Lord."
That one phrase was enough of an answer on that point. Mountain Lords don't use weapons. It didn't mean they weren't prepared—it meant they were always ready.
This tendency only grew stronger the more powerful they became; someone like Kim Jang-seok only bothered with leather gloves at most.
'Of course, those aren't just any leather gloves...'
But then why did he use a sword when he tried to kill me?
The sudden question popped into my head, but I shook it off. It wasn't something I could resolve right now, no matter how curious I was.
"This dungeon is what everyone probably knows—a scrap dungeon."
Airi must have figured we were all about ready, because she jumped straight into the dungeon briefing.
'A scrap dungeon? Shouldn't be much to worry about.'
Dungeons usually formed from human negative emotions, but like most emotions, they didn't last forever.
It was like the fear from watching a horror movie—it didn't linger for a thousand years.
Still, those emotions piled up in truly scrap-like forms, enough to register as a low-grade dungeon like this.
Over 99% of dungeons in places humans rarely visited were these scrap ones.
"The monsters we'll face—since we're in the mountains now—should be orcs and kobolds, I'd guess."
Because they stemmed from faint emotions, the monsters were far from primal human fears.
They were basic "monster" archetypes tailored to the terrain.
'But since they take monster forms, it's not the absolute lowest grade.'
The rock-bottom lowest dungeons sometimes spawned wild beasts instead of monsters.
"Positions like we planned: Tatacum up front, then me and Marren behind him. Kim Geon-ho, you take the rear."
"Got it."
Positions were usually divided by grade, followed by specialized roles.
Tatacum was built for the vanguard, no question. The other two were one-shot dealers for that slot, and if I had to classify myself, I was basically baggage.
When the bottom of the top scorers was mixed in, this was the ideal setup.
'They handle most dangers up front, rear stays safe—and no one's expecting big contributions from the low scorer.'
Perfect intel and strategy.
As long as no unexpected variables cropped up, the dagger and knuckles in my pocket wouldn't even see use.
"Time's up. Let's go in."
"Yeah."
The moment the words hit, a dungeon entrance materialized right in front of us, like it had been waiting.
A single mirror popped into existence in empty space, reflecting us—but the background was a different mountain from where we stood.
'The back world.'
Another name for dungeons.
'Here we go.'
I fervently hoped I wouldn't need to draw the weapons hidden in my pocket as I stepped inside.
Lowest-Grade Dungeon: Welcome to the Treacherous Mountain!
Follow the hiking trail to the summit and slay the giant tree sustaining the dungeon!
The first thing to greet us upon entering the dungeon was the guide message.
It usually explained the raid method and features. Being low-difficulty, this one was nice and concise.
"Hiking trail... that must be it?"
Airi quickly scanned the message and surroundings, spotting the trail right away.
Wooden stairs wound up through the dense trees and untamed paths, leading straight to the summit.
"I'll take point."
The raid itself was straightforward. Follow the trail to the top and kill the giant tree, just like it said.
Obviously monsters would spawn along the way, so no point wasting time.
Tatacum headed straight for the trail, and the moment his foot hit the first step, goblins leaped out from both sides like they'd been waiting.
"Kieeeek!"
Bam! Crackle!
If you're gonna ambush, don't scream first.
The goblins that jumped out exploded on impact with Tatacum's fist.
'Yeah... this'll be a breeze.'
At this rate, no dungeon mutations were likely.
'The academy cliché hasn't hit yet, though—that's the worry.'
The "special growth event" that only happened to protagonists.
I was a third-rate villain, Tatacum a sidekick, but Marren and Airi were protagonist candidates, so I had my suspicions.
In my first run through the novel, and even now, I still hadn't pinned down who the actual protagonist was.
That meant variables could strike anytime, anywhere. Worst case? It hits an extra like me first.
Minions getting shredded to show threat levels was standard novel fare.
But the raid continued without even a hint of that, making my worries seem unfounded.
"Geon-ho, after the report once we're done... we'll have time anyway. Wanna hang out?"
"Kim Geon-ho, don't even think about playing. We review the dungeon right after. Your scores are low—surely you're not planning to slack off without improving?"
Everyone had loosened up from their initial tension, chatting casually.
"Geon-ho can stay weak. I'll take care of him anyway."
"Staying weak after enrolling in Hero Academy makes no sense. You need special training, Kim Geon-ho."
Marren and Airi were doing most of the talking, using me as an excuse to snipe at each other. What could you call it?
Friendly or rivals? Tough to say. They synced attacks too well for bad blood.
Anyway, the raid progressed smoothly without a hitch.
"We're here."
Thud.
Assuming other teams took eight hours on average for a lowest-grade dungeon...
We clocked in under two, even with me barely contributing.
The summit was futsal-field sized, the kind of spot where a mountaintop gym—sans-gym—wouldn't look out of place.
Instead, there was just one massive tree, surrounded by a flowerbed and scattered rock formations.
"We kill that?"
I headed toward the tree, figuring I'd at least chop it since I hadn't done much.
"No, don't. I was gonna have some fun now that you showed up."
The reply came from somewhere else entirely.
"Thought no one was around so I could take it slow, but you guys startled me."
The voice came from right atop the giant tree.
From the shadowed branches hiding everything, a figure dropped down.
He looked like an ordinary 40-something guy in a suit, briefcase in hand—a perfect businessman.
But this dungeon capped at four entrants. No more could enter.
'Not human.'
A monster in human form.
The grotesque things desperately wishing to become human, finally achieving their dream.
One of the novel's Main Villains from my first run, hell-bent on world destruction.
"Hi, I'm ───! Nice to meet ya."
The overwhelming presence gap made even his name inaudible. The moment the monster appeared, our bodies trembled uncontrollably, frozen in place.
Reason screamed to move, but instinct paralyzed us.
"Too scared to talk? Oh, right—couldn't hear my name? Just call me... Salaryman. I'm selling stuff."
The self-proclaimed Salaryman casually circled the tree, sprinkling something around.
"Wonder if it'll reach the heavens... Would be great if the giants came down. Awakening instincts ain't bad."
With that, Salaryman vanished.
Kuuaaaaang!
Not sure if it was the powder, but the giant tree roared madly, uprooting itself and swinging roots at us.
Crack!
The attack hit right after he vanished, slamming into us as our bodies finally started responding.
"Argh!"
Screams erupted from all around.
%$@!$ Grade Dungeon: Welcome to the Forest of Instincts!
Overcome your innate instincts to normalize the forest!
A new guide appeared before us, but before we could read it properly, the roots' follow-up strikes knocked us out cold.
"Suu... huu... fwoo..."
How much time had passed?
"Where am I?"
When I came to after the root hit my head, all I saw were dense trees.
'Fuck... every worry came true.'
The Salaryman's identity was clearly Jack from "Jack and the Beanstalk."
I could piece together the details, but surviving the changed dungeon came first, so I got up.
'Is this a protagonist danger alert... or is the real hero in my party?'
Identifying the protagonist was crucial. I'd held back because I wasn't ready yet.
But experiencing events firsthand meant focusing on them.
'Forest of Instincts...'
[Forest of Instincts :: A forest that draws out humanity's most primal instincts. Also influenced by strong obsessions or ideals you hold.]
Right, that's it.
Amazed again at the encyclopedia's utility, I circulated qi through my body for a quick recovery.
'Finding the others is priority one.'
The forest wasn't pitch-black or too overgrown to see, so movement was easy.
'Where are they?'
Just in case, I shifted the dagger and knuckles to quick-draw spots and expanded my qi sense as I walked.
How long had I gone when a very familiar sound reached my ears?
Squelch... squelch...
"Geon... ho... where are... ahh... nngh... haa... wish you'd... put it in..."
Squelch... squelch...
A sound unmistakable even from afar.
Unhesitatingly calling my name while going at it—that boldness.
True to its name, the Forest of Instincts had Marren openly masturbating in the mountains.
"...Should I relieve her instincts?"
What I needed right now wasn't a dagger or knuckles, but my dick.
With that thought, I headed toward Marren.
A forest living up to its name, and Marren matching it perfectly.