Chapter 28
Hwa Yujin's reaction had changed a bit.
Before, he was what you'd call a cool, meta type—putting up a stiff front toward me or any other cadet alike, all to avoid getting hurt. Just in case someone pushed him away, he could console himself that he hadn't expected anything anyway.
But now, he was actively jumping into the conversation, like he was trying to draw a reaction out of me.
Tales of this brutal era where monsters rampaged.
Self-praise about how much we'd struggled.
Admiration for Ayumi's Unique Ability awakening.
And talk of our futures ahead.
No matter what topic I threw out, he latched onto it. He was grilling me so eagerly, I half-thought he was some venomous snake.
Damn, he's kinda pitiful.
I could understand exactly why Yujin was acting this way from a guy's perspective.
Alone time with a beautiful girl after surviving a dramatic ordeal together—any man who didn't have some expectations here wasn't qualified to call himself one.
Just turned twenty. Prime age to be starving for it. Big bro gets it, Yujin.
But what the hell do I do? I might end up hurting you bad without meaning to... or maybe giving you the greatest gift ever.
Brushing aside the vague chit-chat, I shifted to the main point.
"...Weren't you scared? Facing a monster that huge in your first real battle."
"I..."
From the first word, I could tell it was laced with bravado and bluff.
He probably saw it as a chance to flex his manliness: I wasn't scared at all.
But beyond that male instinct, Yujin was a humble guy.
After a moment's thought, he gave an honest answer.
"...I was scared. Really fucking scared. Scared of dying, scared of the others dying."
"Not very manly."
"Like manliness or womanliness matters when it's life or death."
That's the right answer.
Once you're dead, it's over. Chasing some vague ideal like "manliness" and dying for it—what do you even leave behind?
"Still... something more important kicked in, so my body moved on its own."
With a subtle smile, Yujin said to me,
"But you're different, right? You're a veteran, after all."
"I was scared. Probably more than you."
My answer caught him so off guard that Yujin stared at me with wide eyes.
Well, yeah—if a lunatic who'd been charging into gates since middle school suddenly wimped out, it'd be weird.
But this was my accurate grasp of reality.
I'm not Joo Hyowon. This body wasn't a warrior from the start.
Sure, it'd done nearly two years of military service, but that hadn't forged my mind into a warrior's. Without real war, I'd forever be a rookie.
"It was so scary, over and over... I realized all my thoughts and beliefs up till now were just bluster and bullshit. I'd just never met my match before."
As I spouted uncharacteristically weak shit, Yujin got fidgety, his pupils shaking.
He asked cautiously,
"You're not thinking of quitting the academy... are you?"
I let out a pfft of laughter. If I thought that was safer, I wouldn't have come to the academy in the first place.
"Don't jump to conclusions. Surprisingly, the academy might be safer. Shit hits the fan whether you're here or not. So obviously, building power to fight it is the rational choice, right?"
"...Yeah."
Yujin's face was complicated.
I was about to make it even more so.
"Life's an irreplaceable absolute value. Die, and money, honor, love—gone. Right?"
"...Depends how you think about it, but yeah... I get it."
"Exactly. Best to chase it all if you can. But sometimes, you gotta sacrifice something to get anything."
I grabbed Hwa Yujin's hand tight. No escaping now.
First time a woman other than Ayumi held his hand? His face flushed bright red. I get it—I'd have been even more dramatic.
And that flush exploded beet-red the next instant.
"I'd like you to use your Unique Ability on me."
In plainer terms: Train me, turn me into your exclusive woman.
Even if I die, I won't let a man fuck me.
That first day of possession, I vowed it to my reflection in the mirror. Looking back now, I see how childish that was.
I couldn't shake the game mindset.
Whether I'd played this world as a game or not, it was reality now. I could die fighting.
I knew it in my head but not my heart.
Hell, I even secretly rejoiced a bit—I humbly admit that now.
Better than my shitty real life: a genius beauty getting pampered? Naive thoughts like that.
But all desires come after safety.
Dead means nothing.
Sure, I want my masculinity. But if it costs my life? I'd ditch the masculinity.
"......"
I look at myself in the mirror.
A beauty anyone would acknowledge. Even tense and flustered, she's adorably lovable.
"Hwa Yujin, you lucky bastard!"
Fucking a girl like this? Born under a lucky star, huh.
I want to fuck the current me!!!
Give me my dick back!
I ignore any chance sex might not go smoothly for some reason.
Real sex has variables, like performance anxiety killing the erection.
But that'd never happen to Hwa Yujin.
Average build, but a goddamn sex machine.
His cock's shape,
Insane stamina only during sex,
Uncanny instinct for a woman's weak spots—this guy could've built a golden pagoda as a male prostitute, not a hero.
And me—or rather, Joo Hyowon—one of the heroines with the shittiest pussy.
Ultra-sensitive, mentally can't endure pleasure like the others.
Throughout the story, revenge was all that mattered. Men? Boring tools for getting stronger—don't get ideas.
Then dick in, and she goes ohut♥ ohut♥ like a pathetic meme. No wonder.
Users nicknamed it "3-Minute Curry" and mocked her. I was one of them.
Now it's me? Soul-crushing. But I'll do it anyway.
"36,000 won, please pay here."
I bought the condoms myself. Largest size.
No ultra-thin or "pleasure-enhanced" devilish crap.
If I go full bitch with cheap shit, who takes responsibility?
Thickest, lowest sensitivity-rated one with bad reviews.
Buff'll be weaker, sure. But step by step: get used to the pleasure, keep my identity and sanity.
Eventually... raw.
I grip the bag with the condoms.
Buying condoms for another man with my money. Peak male humiliation?
Fuck, reality hits. Wanna off myself lightly.
But what can ya do? Think positive?
"What I'm doing isn't pointless."
At least I won't end up like original's insane training—human pig strolling academy. Good enough.
Yujin's place was a government-subsidized apartment like Ayumi's.
Last time he ate at hers, no restrictions on opposite-sex visits.
Both adults— no grounds to block free love.
"Hey, Hwa Yujin. I'm here. Open up."
Knock, and upbeat clattering from inside.
Guy's hyped a girl's coming over.
Yujin appears, face ripe pomegranate-red.
Enviable bastard.
"Sorry. Tried cleaning hard, but it didn't go as planned."
"The more you clean, the more there is to clean. Don't worry about it."
Inside, male scent hits hard.
Rank yet nostalgic,
Fresh yet repulsive.
How to describe this mess? Only a TS'd guy-turned-bishoujo like me gets it.
Didn't care as a man, but this body? Hyper-sensitive. And not just gross—creepy.
"...Air it out next time."
"I did..."
Bedroom window's open. Still this smell? Yujin might have strong body odor—unnoticed before.
"...Whatever. It's fine. As long as the bed's intact, we're good."
"...You're really doing this? Kinda weird to say, but we're not that kind of couple, right?"
"Why bring that up now? You were expecting it."
Yujin shut up—couldn't lie to me.
Want it? Just sit tight, dummy. Don't be a fool who rejects freebies.
"Kinda embarrassing, but... I've never done this."
He confessed his virgin status. Knew it—no surprise.
"Don't sweat it. Not like we're dating or doing romantic sex. If you're clumsy, no biggie."
Draw the line clear. No delusions—for him or me.
"This is pragmatic sex. For my strength, for humanity. No responsibility on you. Just do the job as needed. No romance blooming—got it?"
"......"
"Hate it? Say so. I respect your choice. You don't wanna fuck someone you don't like."
"I..."
He bowed his head, speechless.
Answer enough.
I poke his side playfully.
"Lucky bastard. Not just anyone gets to fuck a beauty like me."
Bonus service.
"And I'm a virgin."
"Huh?!"
Leaving his pupils dilating wildly, I head to the shower.
"I'm washing up first. See you soon."