Fragile Devotion
"Was it... because of me... that things were so hard for you?"
In a way, it was because of Ju-ran. It was true that Hayeon's jealousy toward her had played a part in forcing her to show her true colors.
"I suppose... it was partly because of you..."
In truth, I was just taking it out on her. Even without Ju-ran, Hayeon would have hidden her claws only to bare them eventually.
"I'm sorry..."
She begged for forgiveness, looking completely dejected. For some reason, it brought me a sense of relief. Would a day ever come when Hayeon would feel this sorry to me?
I didn't want an apology. I only wanted her to admit how twisted she had become and change her mind.
"For us to run into each other like this..."
Ju-ran walked in a wide circle around me to pass by. The physical distance she kept was a tangible measure of her consideration. And that consideration was what broke me.
"Don't go..."
The urge to run away—to escape and hide myself in her—escaped past my throat before I could stop it.
I knew I shouldn't. I knew that as long as Hayeon held our mother hostage, I could never truly distance myself from her.
Even so, I wanted to forget. Beside this woman, whose wet eyes were wide and pupils trembling in disbelief, I felt like I could rest, if only for today.
"Please take me away... somewhere no one can see us..."
A sudden breeze blew, softly swaying her lion's mane of hair.
"Uh... ah..."
Only half-formed gasps escaped her parted lips, wandering aimlessly. Tears, a sign of weakness so unlike her, rolled down her cheeks.
Was it because I felt pity for her hands, which hovered in the air, hesitant to touch me? Before I knew it, I had wrapped my arms around her.
Burying my face in her soft chest was nice, but...
Squeeze—...
Ju-ran hugged me so tightly, as if she would never let go, that her two massive mounds of flesh completely smothered my face, making it hard to breathe. Moreover, amidst all that softness, the hard zipper of her jacket pressed roughly against my skin.
"Mmph... mgh..."
I tapped her back in a panic.
"Ah, sorry..."
She loosened her grip. Snapping back to my senses, I stepped back, realizing how embarrassing it was to be doing this right in the middle of a trail where hikers were passing by.
"Can you take me with you?"
"Yes... I live alone... Is it okay if it's just the two of us?"
A private space where no one could intrude. It was exactly what I wanted.
"Well... you seem to have reflected enough... You won't try anything funny, right?"
"No, I won't!"
She wiped her tears and nodded like a child... I never thought the day would come when Ju-ran looked this cute.
"Let's go."
"Okay, it's not far from here."
I walked down the mountain with her. She skipped down the slope excitedly, stopped to look up at me and wait, walked in step with me, and then ran ahead to wait again. She was like a giant puppy.
"You seem really familiar with these mountain paths."
"Yeah. I used to come here a lot with my grandfather when he was alive."
"Your grandfather?"
"Up until high school, it was just me and my grandfather."
I was curious about her parents, but I kept quiet in case it was a sensitive topic.
"My parents passed away when I was little."
She spoke up first, as if reading my mind.
"It's obvious you'd be curious."
Hearing her say it, it made sense.
"But I won't talk about that anymore today. Today, I only want to think about you, Ha-woon."
Her house really wasn't far. I had expected that since she told me beforehand, but I was surprised by something else entirely.
After leaving the trail and walking along the foot of the mountain for a bit, a modest hanok—a traditional Korean house—came into view. It was her home.
"This... is your house?"
I thought you could only see these in tourist districts. While there were hanok villages on the outskirts of the city, it was surprising to find an old, inhabited house so close by.
"Hehe, is it surprising?"
She opened the wooden gate in the low wall with practiced ease and stepped inside.
"Isn't it inconvenient living alone in a place like this?"
"It might look like this on the outside, but if you look closely, it's no different from a modern house."
"No, I don't mean that. It just seems like there'd be a lot of maintenance."
At the end of the narrow courtyard stood a cozy house with three rooms lined up side by side. It was clearly old, but very clean.
"All I do is clean. Most of the maintenance is handled by the Cultural Heritage Administration."
She sat down on the toetmaru—the wooden veranda—and I took a seat beside her.
"It's not bad."
"For now."
"For now?"
"Since it's technically a cultural property, I need to meet certain qualifications to keep living here. Completing compulsory education. That's why I haven't dropped out of school."
"What happens if you don't graduate?"
"The government will forcibly buy back the house, and I'll have to find another place to live with that money."
"Do they not pay much?"
"Well... I think the amount is reasonable, but... I still can't imagine living anywhere else."
She turned to look at me, gauging my reaction.
"Though... if I'm with the person I love, it doesn't really matter where I live..."
The shy expression on the lion queen's face felt incredibly precious. I was probably the only one who would ever see this soft side of her.
I felt a pointless surge of pride, but I didn't let it show.
"I hope... you find someone like that..."
Just because my heart fluttered for her in this moment didn't mean I could be that person.
She looked as if she wanted to say more, but she kept her mouth shut. In the quiet, only a cool breeze brushed past us.
The perfectly tempered air washed over my body, melting away my tension. Having stayed up all night, my eyes began to drift shut.
"Should I get you something to drink... Ha-woon, are you tired?"
"Yeah... hehe... I feel like I could fall asleep right here..."
"No, you'll catch a cold. You're sweaty from hiking. Wait a second, I'll lay out some blankets."
While she went inside to fetch the bedding, I felt awkward just sitting there and stood up to head into the room. But perhaps because hiking had drained all my energy, my legs suddenly gave out.
"Ha-woon!"
Fearing I would crash onto the floor, she rushed over with animalistic reflexes and caught me. My limp head came to rest against her chest.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah... it's nice..."
The pillowy flesh and her faint, sweet scent made me smile sillily without realizing it.
"Then... can I sleep next to you too?"
Drowsiness was visible on Ju-ran's face as well.
"Yeah... just sleeping..."
I didn't want to be apart from her.
"Okay..."
She laid me down on the spread-out bedding and lay down beside me. Watching her eyes slowly close, I drifted off to sleep as well.
What is this... this soft, squishy sensation filling my entire palm... It's a softness so intense it makes me forget all my worries...
I... opened my eyes as the realization that I had fallen asleep at Ju-ran's house washed over me.
My groggy mind lingered on her sleeping face. But as her eyelids slowly fluttered open, I realized the sensation I had felt in my sleep was very real, and my senses sharpened instantly.
The touch of bare skin.
Stiffening with a sense of dread, I cast my eyes downward. My hand was resting directly on her bare breast, which had slipped out from beneath her raised bra. Ju-ran's hand was cupped over mine.
"You were smiling so cutely in your sleep while touching my breast... I wanted to make you feel even better..."
A faint trace of worry flickered across her blushing face.
"Did I... do something wrong again?"
"N-no..."
Tempting me like this was unfair. But looking at her face—worried that I might hate her even though I was the one who had touched her first—I couldn't bring myself to say she had done anything wrong.
"Thank goodness..."
Her eyes grew moist and sparkled. She looked so beautiful that, before I knew it, I was completely captivated.
That was why.
Chuu—♡
I couldn't pull away from her lips as they slowly drew closer.
After a brief, soft press of our lips, she pulled back slightly and caressed my cheek.
"Can I... do more?"
My heart nodded vigorously, but...
"No..."
I merely buried my face in the pillow to avoid her.
"Have I... still not been forgiven?"
It wasn't that.
"I'm... dirty..."
But how could I tell her? That I was sleeping with my own sister. That it wasn't even over, and that I would have to give my body to her again whenever she demanded it. Continuing like this would only end in hurt.
"Then... do you want to wash up first?"
"That's not what I mean... You know how I am. I... get erect so easily..."
I had no choice but to rely on the Common Sense Alteration, covering one lie with another. I had to push her away.
"I'm sorry... for acting like it was my first time that day... The truth is, I'm messy and promiscuous..."
"......"
I sat up on my knees, and a heavy silence pressed down on my shoulders. I knew that looking cheap would ruin everything, but my life was already such a mess that I would rather be treated like a piece of trash, used, and thrown away.
"I don't care..."
A low voice, carrying either resignation or resolve, broke the silence.
"Because you... asked me to take you away. That's why you're here."
Her voice grew stronger. Her hands gently cupped my face and lifted it, forcing me to look straight into her eyes.
"So, I... will only think about the here and now with you. I won't think about anything else. You should do the same. You're the one who chose me."
Her tear-filled eyes blurred and wavered. We shared the exact same look in our eyes.
Perhaps that gave her courage, because when her lips pressed against mine again, they didn't pull away. The rest of the world faded into nothingness, leaving only the two of us behind.