Twisted Common Sense
Without even realizing that I had brought her here for her own sake, Ju-ran continued to cling to me, even inside the student council room.
“D-Don't... touch me...”
I thought she was only acting like this because of the wish, but remembering the girls' whispering earlier, it seemed she wasn't the only one who had gone strange.
“Miss Kwon Ju-ran. If you continue this, I may have to call the police,” warned Seo-hye, who was sitting across from us. “Binding a classmate during class is, without a doubt, a form of harassment.”
Even she didn't seem to find the public blowjob to be an issue.
“U-Um... just in case,” I muttered, needing to confirm something. “Isn't... sexual harassment a much bigger issue here?”
“What? Harassment? Ha... Hey, Seong Ha-woon. Who the fuck was the one begging me to suck his dick and let him cum?”
“T-That... that was because you...”
I couldn't bring myself to admit in front of Seo-hye that she had made me so hard it actually hurt.
“You probably bound him and forced the stimulation on him. Ha-woon was merely acting to satisfy you as ordered.”
“Pfft... I'm sure you'd love to think so.” A mocking sneer spread across Ju-ran's face. “Tell her, Ha-woon. Right in front of this bitch. Was it just an act? This...” She lightly stroked my crotch with her finger.
“Ngh...”
“The part about being my personal dick. The dick that exists solely to ejaculate inside me.”
Even as she leaned her face close to mine, Ju-ran's eyes were fixed on Seo-hye. Was she really that desperate to teabag her victory?
Seo-hye's eyes lost focus and trembled. Her expression practically begged me to deny it, but...
I couldn't give her the answer she wanted. The entire class had already witnessed me losing control of my lust and ejaculating.
“Y-You did things like this to me! I couldn't help it...”
I quickly stood up to get away from Ju-ran, trying to explain the circumstances to Seo-hye indirectly.
If a girl seduced a guy with such lewd touches and even went as far as caressing him with her mouth, there was no way a man could hold out.
“She kept doing that while I was tied up, so how could I...”
I tried to defend myself, asking how I was supposed to endure it, but Seo-hye's expression was deeply unsettling. She was staring at my crotch—which had already bulged just from that brief touch—with a look of sheer disdain.
My utterly brainless, useless dick.
Instinctively, I covered my groin with both hands and sat back down.
“Hehe, I guess the President didn't know? Just how incredibly lewd Ha-woon really is.”
I'm not lewd! I'm just extremely healthy and a virgin, which makes me sensitive to stimulation!
“You see, even though he's a guy, Ha-woon is quite obscene.” This time, she gently stroked my cheek. “He even talked as if it's only natural to get hard for a girl he doesn't even like.”
“When did I ever say that?!”
“Your dick got so fucking big and rock-hard, yet you told me you didn't like me, remember? You said it could just happen because of sexual desire.”
Well, yes, that was true. But what kind of guy goes around proudly telling a girl that getting an erection in front of her is just a natural physiological response?
“Ha-woon... Are you really... the kind of man who lusts after a woman he has no feelings for, shaping his penis into a form fit for intercourse...?”
That's not something I can control! Didn't she know that as long as I didn't thrust my erection at people or wave it around, I was perfectly safe?
To think even the Student Council President was like this. The state of sex education in this country was truly deplorable.
“Our Ha-woon might be naturally slutty, but he still knows how to feel embarrassed. There's no way he could answer a question like that proudly.”
Why on earth were these two communicating so flawlessly using such twisted common sense?
Come to think of it, what happened yesterday wasn't just an empty remark.
"You got hard because you wanted to make love to me."
Furthermore, the girls earlier had already jumped to the conclusion that I was Ju-ran's love interest.
Even if I assumed, by some wild coincidence, that these two were just uniquely dense in this regard, it was impossible to believe that all the other girls were the same.
I had no choice but to conclude that everyone's common sense was being warped.
“You look pretty disappointed. Ugh... the stench of a virgin loser.”
Ju-ran mocked Seo-hye, whose eyes were trembling. It was a wide-area attack. Even I felt a sharp sting from those words.
“T-That is not true!”
As a fellow virgin-enthusiast, I could tell. That fierce denial was a dead giveaway of her true feelings. She must be incredibly embarrassed.
To help her out as a comrade, I quickly changed the subject.
“More importantly... about what happened in the classroom...”
If my theory was correct, it would be difficult to classify it as sexual harassment in this world. Ju-ran would only argue back, and the conversation would go nowhere.
But that wasn't the only thing I needed to confirm.
“There were so many witnesses... Will it really be okay?”
Even if Ju-ran didn't care, surely the Student Council President would know about the crime of public indecency.
“Public displays of affection on school grounds... Of course, I am personally against it.”
Seo-hye bit her lower lip for a split second before quickly wiping all emotion from her face.
“The position of Student Council President is one granted to me by my fellow students. If I go so far as to ban things like that, I will face severe backlash and lose the momentum needed to run the council.”
“So you're just... writing it off as a public display of affection?”
“As long as the penis was erect, the act of deep-kissing that area is indeed classified as such. Even if there was no affection behind the motive.”
“Pfft, President. You really hate to admit it, don't you?”
“Shut your mouth.”
“Why you...”
“Kwon Ju-ran. This is for your own good as well. So stay quiet.”
“Hmph... I guess I have to listen if my hubby tells me to.”
Seo-hye's eyebrow twitched. I shot her a troubled look, and reading my expression, she managed to regain her composure.
We reached a silent agreement to ignore Ju-ran.
“Because if someone reports it, you could still be charged with public indecency.”
“As expected! Even if your body suffers from habitual erections, your character still holds a proper sense of sexual morality, Ha-woon. I, too, believe fellatio is an obscene act. At one point, it was even referred to as oral sex.”
“At one point?”
“Yes. Fellatio was originally categorized as an obscene act. To think it isn't anymore. Don't you think the world has become far too vulgar?”
The “at one point” Seo-hye was referring to was likely the time before I made my wish. Just last week, to be exact.
I would definitely need to look into this later.
“Pfft, so the President thinks sucking and licking a dick counts as actual sex?” Ju-ran sneered coquettishly. “Does that mean Ha-woon and I already had sex?”
“If that counted as sex, you'd be locked up.”
I flatly dismissed Ju-ran's provocation toward Seo-hye and kept the discussion moving.
“So, for now, there's no risk of being charged with public indecency, right?”
Did she hear the relief in my voice?
“Were you worried about me? My sweet Ha-woon.” Ju-ran's voice sounded genuinely bright.
“This is no time to be happy. From now on, I'm going to propose a disciplinary action against you to the President.”
“What?”
“I don't want things to blow out of proportion. But it's also true that I'm angry.”
Putting aside whether exposing one's genitals was truly considered a minor issue under this new Common Sense Alteration, the fact remained that I had suffered enough to tremble with intense humiliation.
“Binding his body and forcing physical affection on him is an undeniable fact. Is it not?”
Perhaps because she had struggled so much to endure Ju-ran's provocations, one corner of Seo-hye's mouth curled up into a distinct, mocking smirk.
“But... Ha-woon is the one to blame. He seduced me, only to turn around and say he doesn't like me. He spouts things only a male whore would say, acting like it's natural to get hard for just any girl. And do you have any idea how many bitches are constantly eyeing him with filthy looks? He's seriously driving me insane!”
“That is the exact logic of a disgusting, stalking sex offender.”
“Ha? Don't make me laugh, you bitch. Have you ever heard Ha-woon tell you you're pretty? Have you ever been warmly comforted by him? When he shyly confessed it was his first kiss... that heart-fluttering feeling that makes you feel like your chest is going to explode... There's no way someone like you could ever understand.”
“Ju-ran!”
“F-First kiss?”
Slam! Seo-hye slammed her palm onto the desk, speaking at the exact same moment I did.
“Yeah, that's right. We kissed. And I don't mean kissing his dick. We shared a romantic first kiss yesterday.”
“That was forced too! I told you not to, but you kept pushing...”
“Kwon Ju-ran... You are... truly beyond saving. Even if we chalk up your inability to ignore a magnificent, erect penis to female instinct, stealing his lips by force is unforgivable.”
“Pfft, look at this virgin loser. You're fucking shaking. Why? Did you think you'd be the one to take his first kiss? Sorry, but you never stood a chance. Do you want to know why I'm so sure Ha-woon will end up liking me? Because Ha-woon's type is a body like mine. Not some dried-up, flat-chested bitch like you who probably can't even produce milk.”
“Please, just stop!”
The changes caused by the wish I made to the Monkey's Hand were already giving me a massive headache. I couldn't just stand by and let Ju-ran run wild any longer.
“Ju-ran, I think we need to spend some time apart.”
I turned to the President to propose Ju-ran's punishment.
“A restraining order... please.”
To be honest, I felt a shred of hesitation. But I couldn't let it show. Even if it wasn't intentional, the consequences of my wish had combined to make it look like I was leading her on. This time, I had to remain cold.
“What did you say...?”
Eep... Ju-ran's eyes narrowed fiercely.
This was no time to worry about leading her on or staying cold. My survival instincts were screaming at me to shrink back into a ball.
“The duration will last until I decide to lift it.”
For now, I successfully fought back the coward inside me and maintained a resolute posture. What I was banking on was Ju-ran's feelings for me.
“It's so we can keep a good relationship in the future. If we keep going like this, I feel like I'm really going to end up hating you. If you behave and wait patiently, I'll lift it.”
If this didn't work, there would be no room for compromise. Our relationship as human beings would be completely shattered. I hoped Ju-ran would understand that I didn't want that either.
The silence of Seo-hye, who wore a quiet smile, and Ju-ran, who hung her head low, quietly filled the student council room.