Chapter 76
Chapter 76
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 76
Chapter Title: The Tigers' Fight #2
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“Theo, I heard you proposed to Mirna Draco.”
What I’d been dreading came out of Aira’s mouth.
I’d been on edge since lunch because of that. I thought maybe she hadn’t heard and we could just gloss over it, but no such luck.
I masked my panic with the skill of a seasoned actor and asked nonchalantly.
“Where did you hear that?”
“A queen of my stature can hear whispers even in the blowing wind.”
Aira’s voice was remarkably calm.
That made it all the harder to gauge her intentions or figure out how I should respond.
“Is it true you proposed to Lady Mirna?”
Activating calm thinking, two options popped into my head.
1. Tell the truth.
2. Lie.
To get out of this immediate bind, 2—lying—would be the way to go.
But lying to Aira, a lie that would eventually unravel easily, might end up with my head on the chopping block.
Aira hates liars.
Hypocrites, too.
So what about 1?
If I came clean with, “Yes, I proposed to Lady Mirna Draco,” what would happen?
Aira had shown some possessiveness toward me.
But it felt less like romantic interest and more like doting on a cute pet, as I’d said before. Like owning a rare, exotic creature.
Here’s the wildcard.
What if I got married and had kids? How would Aira react?
From a master-and-pet perspective, if her pet found a suitable mate and produced fluffy, adorable offspring, wouldn’t the owner be delighted?
“Theo, answer your queen. I’m asking if the rumor I heard is true. I won’t say it three times, so listen carefully.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. The rumor you heard…”
“The rumor?”
“…is true. There are some complicated circumstances, though.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and said it. Better to tell the truth than beat around the bush with lies.
Lying to Aira would be a grave sin, but whether she’d mind me liking someone else was still up in the air.
This path offered better survival odds.
“And what was Lady Draco’s response?”
Aira’s voice remained utterly serene.
Since I was behind her, unfastening her collar, I couldn’t see her face—and I felt both regret and relief at that.
“Lady Draco rejected my proposal. I’m a slave, an orphan. She’s from a great house, so we’re not a match.”
“Hmm…”
What was that “Hmm…” supposed to mean? I racked my brain, analyzing her every move.
The last time I’d strained my mind this hard was when I’d burned through my neurons to keep Finance Minister Belmot from dying at Aira’s hands.
Yes.
This moment was every bit as dire as when Aira had awakened as the Murder Queen.
If anything, it was worse—my life was on the line right now.
“…”
Aira fell silent. No more words came. What did this silence mean? Nothing good, I figured, and I was scrambling for the best move when she spoke.
“Theo, you’re the wisest man in Angmar after me. But your eye for women is surprisingly poor.”
“W-what do you mean by that?”
Normally, I’d grasp her meaning right away. But now, I had to ask for real, turning toward her with genuine curiosity.
I had no idea what she was getting at.
But the wise Queen Aira graciously explained to her foolish retainer.
“Theo, Lady Mirna isn’t right for you. She’s a woman whose outward appearance doesn’t match her true nature. So fickle you could call her two people in one.”
A woman so fickle you could call her two people. That described both Mirna and her twin sister Narmi to a T.
Did Aira know? About Mirna and Narmi sharing one body?
No, that couldn’t be.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I had to ask how much she knew.
“Fickle woman? Why do you think that?”
“Theo, devout women are all like that. They act noble up front but scheme the vilest, most wicked things behind your back. Mirna’s surely no different.”
“…I see. I never would’ve guessed.”
I bowed my head appropriately, and Aira nodded in satisfaction.
“It’s fine. It’s fortunate Lady Mirna rejected you out of vanity. But don’t despair, Theo. I’ll find you a suitable match myself.”
“You, Lady Aira…?”
“Yes. As your master, it’s my duty to find you a fitting woman and pair you up.”
What duty was that?
“And thus grant you and your children the honor of serving me for generations.”
Me and my kids serving Aira forever.
That was horrifying.
An execution ending was bad enough, but I wanted to avoid that future too.
To change the subject, I asked Aira.
“Then, who should I marry? What about Lady Elga? She’s from a noble house too.”
“Elga? Don’t even mention her.”
“Pardon?”
“She’s my cousin, but she keeps her distance from marriage and women altogether. All she’s got going for her in the feminine department is that huge chest.”
“I see.”
“Men fall for the blonde hair, blue eyes, and big breasts. But if a woman like Elga became your wife, Theo, you’d spend your life getting noogies and living like a henpecked husband.”
“…”
“And Elga wouldn’t make a good mother. Your kids would grow up wild like beasts, with no respect for you.”
I could picture it.
Marry Elga, and I’d probably spend my days with my ears yanked or noogies raining down, the beaten husband.
What now?
As I floundered in confusion, Aira said.
“Theo, you need to find an ideal, perfect woman. Someone of high status yet wise and humble. With hair black as night. A slender, soft body like a swan’s neck. Seek that out.”
Only one person matched Aira’s description.
“Are you saying I should find a woman like you, Queen Aira…?”
“Exactly. Truth be told, every man needs a woman like me to build a happy family. But now that I think about it, there can’t be two women like me in the world.”
“Y-yes, of course. You’re the one and only supreme being…”
Aira chuckled, “Heh heh heh.”
“This is bad, Theo. If you can’t find a woman like me, you might end up alone forever.”
Murmur murmur.
That’s when a crowd poured into the training grounds. We’d been talking so long the next class had started.
“Then, allow me to escort you to your chambers, Queen Aira.”
* * *
“Don’t forget the mission I assigned you as investigator, Theo Gospel. It’s fine to think about women, but remember your important duties.”
“Understood.”
With that, Aira lay down on her bed. As I left her room, I felt like a honeybee escaping a spider’s web.
I’d survived somehow.
Aira seemed less bothered by my love life than I’d feared. I’d worried she’d snap, “Theo, how dare you meet another woman without my permission?”
Surprisingly, she didn’t mind me seeing others and even offered to find me a match herself.
At least my head was still attached. Small mercies.
But the problems weren’t over. I realized that when I reached my dorm.
On the third floor of Truth Hall, Room 7, my roommates Benjamin and Hans were trembling like leaves. Spotting me, they lit up.
“Buddy, big trouble!”
I could guess without asking.
“Lady Elga’s here, right?”
“Yeah!”
If even lazy Aira in her chambers had heard the proposal rumors, of course active Elga roaming campus would know.
Steel ing myself like I was entering a lion’s den, I opened the door.
There sat Elga on my bed, arms crossed, legs folded, in dolphin pants—our eyes locked.
“Hey, where’ve you been?”
Elga’s blue eyes glared like a predator’s. No attempt to hide her anger or displeasure.
With her pale skin and sharp features, her beauty amplified her emotions, making my heart skip just facing her.
“I was in class with Queen Aira.”
“Heard some funny rumors. Care to explain?”
“Rumors about Miss Mirna, I assume?”
“Huh? W-what?”
Elga stammered, caught off guard. She hadn’t expected me to bring it up so boldly.
Seizing the moment before she recovered, I pressed on.
“Whatever you’re thinking, Lady Elga, I can explain it all.”
“Explain?”
“But not here. Come with me somewhere else first.”
From what I’d observed, Elga had a hard time refusing strong requests.
Banking on my level 6 assistant instructor persuasion, I grabbed her arm and successfully dragged her out.
I took Elga to the dorm rooftop.
The roof had a storage space like an attic, filled with dusty old dorm furniture—desks, beds, junk.
No one would come here, so I released her arm.
Elga crossed her arms again, thrusting out her ample chest, and growled.
“Fine. Say your last words.”
“Whatever you heard, it’s all a misunderstanding.”
“Theo, you borrowed elephants for Mirna and made a grand show of courtship—and that’s a misunderstanding?”
“What are you talking about?”
That really was a misunderstanding.
Elga must’ve heard some garbled campus gossip. Yet she shot back defiantly.
“Don’t play dumb, Theo Gospel. You’re a real bastard. That fight with Professor whatever-his-name yesterday, using me—it was all for Mirna?”
Oh, it could look that way.
“You said you liked me. What the hell is this?”
Elga’s face flushed bright red.
Her pale skin made the anger and embarrassment stand out starkly. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
She looked ready to cry at the slightest touch, biting her lower lip hard before speaking.
“Picking Lady Draco over me. It’s humiliating. I’ll kill you and wash away the shame.”
She clenched her fist and raised it high.
That grip wasn’t for a noogie—it was a meteor. If it smashed my head, I’d die without a scream.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shouted.
—Gamigin!