Chapter 51
Chapter 51
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 51
Chapter Title: Another Name for War is Course Registration # 4
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"Halphas...!"
What flashed into my mind was the recent eye exam.
The single word Halphas that the examiner had shown me. It sprang straight from my mouth without passing through my brain.
"Halphas? What's that? Explain it. If you can't, you lose."
But Ephside furrowed his brow as if he had no idea what I was talking about. His grip tightened viciously around my throat.
Rustle.
Flutter.
Flap, flap.
Suddenly, the sound of intense movement came from somewhere. Soon, presences closed in strongly around me, and people started screaming.
"Ugh, what the hell is this!"
Ephside seemed just as surprised. He released my neck and flailed around as if under attack.
Only then could I gasp for air and barely open my eyes.
What I saw were birds of various kinds—flying in from who-knows-where—swarming and attacking Ephside.
"What the fuck! What is this shit!"
—Screeeech! Screeeeech!
—Caw, caaaaaaw!
"Theo Gasper! What the hell did you do!"
"......"
What the fuck. I have no idea.
—Caaaaaaw!
The birds looked furious, like office workers who hadn't been paid.
I scooted backward on my butt, fearing I might be next.
—Tweet!
Right then, someone let out a piercing, ear-splitting whistle.
It was artificial. Probably a whistle or flute.
"Eek—!"
I clamped my hands over my ears and ducked my head. Someone pushed through the crowd of Ark cadets.
The first thing I noticed were sturdy leather boots. The kind you could call walkers or combat boots.
Above them: form-fitting brown leather pants, a lean midriff with no excess fat and a navel exposed, a white tank top, and a leopard-print leather jacket draped over it.
"Tweety, come here! What the heck are you doing way over there?"
The stranger shouted at the flock tearing into people.
Her hair was a deep purple bob, swaying mysteriously and full of energy. How is a person's hair purple?
She lifted a slender whistle, thin as her pinky finger, to her lips.
—Tweeeeeet!
Flutter, flutter, flap flap.
—Chirp chirp, chirp chirp!
The swarm of birds scattered into the distance. One massive raptor perched obediently on the leather bracer on her arm.
"Tweety. Why'd you fly off on your own? You've never done that before."
—Purrr.
A woman with a navy bob in leopard print, petting a child-sized bird of prey. Now I saw her ears were long and pointed.
Pointed ears—an elf. An elf falconer in leopard print... Droopy eyes, amber irises, and a tear mole under her right eye.
Seeing her sparked a memory.
"Belhawk— Are you Stella Belhawk by any chance?"
"Call me Professor Belhawk. More importantly, what are you newbies doing here?"
The lady of House Belhawk appearing here. Professor? Whatever—I had a golden opportunity.
"Now explain your Halphas, you barbarian prick."
"Grrr...."
I shouted confidently at Ephside, who lay sprawled on the ground, his clothes, hair, and skin shredded, bleeding out.
But his bird-inflicted wounds weren't that deep. He slowly rose.
"Halphas means speed. Yeah, speed. Whatever, doesn't matter now. Theo Gasper. I, Ephside Scicollector, challenge you to a duel."
The barbarian smeared the blood running down his face like he was washing it.
Seeing him reminded me of southern savages who ate people alive. Without my acting skills, my legs would've buckled.
I feigned ignorance.
"Duel? What's that supposed to mean?"
"A duel, literally. And conveniently, there's a professor here—be our mediator. You're the first to piss me off this much."
Ephside's eyes turned to Stella Belhawk. She just tilted her head like a bird, utterly confused.
"Duel? More importantly, Theo Gasper?"
"Professor, witness this. It'll be a fair duel."
Stella Belhawk replied.
"But Ephside, you're Silver Tier. This newbie's Bronze. Doesn't seem fair. You'd need a champion warrior to stand in for him."
"Champion... Fine. But no Ark cadets as champions. No professors or board members either. Must be an Ark affiliate, though. Duel in one hour, right here."
"Solid rules for a match. Newbie, you in?"
While I caught my breath, the conversation barreled ahead.
Champions allowed was great for me, but banning students meant no Elga or Aira.
No professors or board? There went the old folks who'd been kind to me.
"You only got in despite failing every subject because of board connections. Tough luck—looks like you're out of friends now."
Ephside laughed like a total villain.
He was slyly targeting my lack of connections as a freshman.
"Refuse if you want."
"Nah, I'm in."
I had zero reason to back out.
In fact, perfect.
* * *
One hour later.
I was dueling before a massive crowd.
Course registration over, people flooded in from everywhere, forming an arena.
"Theo, you're dueling? What the hell happened?"
Elga approached, demanding answers. I gave her the rundown, and she scowled deeply.
"By the rules, I can't fight for you. You're on your own—sure you're good?"
Elga fretted.
"You're shit at fighting."
"......"
Facts. But Aira lounged on a fancy chair Elga had somehow procured, grinning without a care.
"Elga, you think my Theo would lose?"
"Come on, think logically. What can he even do?"
Elga shot back at Aira, who just shook her head.
"You're still so naive, Elga. Theo's the second-smartest man after me. He'll handle this easy."
"......"
Elga shut up. Pointless arguing with her cousin.
"Hey, Theo. You got a plan, right?"
"I don't fight losing battles. Though it won't even be my fight."
I eyed the man before me: Ephside.
He gripped a studded club, grinning at me. "Heh heh heh."
"Last chance—this is a fair duel. No sore loser bullshit. Got it? Your queen and marchioness lady back there better know too."
"Don't whine later, you cowardly barbarian."
"Heh heh heh, fine. So where's your champion? You stepping up yourself?"
"Nah, should've shown by now."
I scanned around.
My champion would stand out anywhere.
Thud—.
Thud—.
The ground trembled in my ears.
I turned. Far off, a massive bulk lumbered into view.
"Ah, there he is. Over here."
I waved. The giant approached, frowning.
—Gorgor. Lots of work. Overtime. Too much. Almost late.
The crowd gasped in unison.
—What the fuck is that? That's an ogre!
—Why's an ogre here? It eats people!
Panic at the sudden giant monster. Ogres could take fortresses solo.
To fight one alone, you'd need a swordmaster or 5th-circle archmage.
Of course, cowardly scum like Ephside wasn't one. Losers pull dirty tricks.
I knew from experience.
Ephside yelled, furious.
"Y-you fuck! Professor! This cheating? Who brings a monster as champion? We said Ark affiliates only!"
Gorgor chuckled. "Heh heh heh."
—Me. Gorgor. Hired as staff. Staff work lots. But stable job. Paycheck. Comes on time. Every time.
"Y-you fuck!"
The barbarian's bloodshot eyes locked on me. Watching overconfidence shatter into shock and dismay? Always a delight.
"You sneaky bastard! Filthy monk! This is fraud! I won't accept this!"
Bitching now?
Fuck that guy.
No mercy for trash like him.
"Duel's over. Admit defeat and run—your brooch's courses are all mine. You'll flunk the semester."
"Fuck...."
Ephside glanced around nervously.
Among the crowd were top-100 folks with gold brooches.
He shuddered at their stares, then sighed heavily.
"Fine—whatever. Can't call myself a hero if I can't kill one monster punk? Back home, I took four trolls at once."
Ephside steeled himself.
Gorgor seemed impressed.
—Four trolls? You. Tougher than you look. Respect. But me, Gorgor. Fought way tougher guys. Lived. You weaker than me.
"Fuck you, monster! Come at me!"
Thud.
Ephside charged at the hulking Gorgor, club raised.
"Raaargh!"
His bull-like rush would've made me stumble in shock if aimed at me.
But Gorgor's massive palm squashed the barbarian like a fly.
Thud—.
"Gaaack—!"
—Told you.
Overwhelming physical gap.
—Stupid head gets you this. Humans. Gotta learn.
Weird hearing that from an ogre infamous for stupidity.
But no one dared complain to the monster that'd just crushed Ephside one-handed.
—Did you see that...?
—Squashed him like a bug....
—Ephside, all talk, huh!
Only Aira laughed, amused.
"Human life snuffed like a fly."
—No. Gorgor. No kill. Promise. But. Bones all. Crushed probably.
Gorgor lifted his palm. Ephside lay there, twitching like a broken toy.
"Eeek...."
Barely alive. Ogre blows that rip knights barehanded? Expected.
I snatched the 'Teatime' course pass from Ephside's belt and the brooch from his chest.
"Y-you bastard.... Planned this. Knew I'd... fall for the taunt...."
Barbarian vitality was no joke.
Impressive.
I mentally upped my score on his survival skills.
"Th-that stupid word chain game... All planned? That retarded shit... to provoke me...."
Retarded? I was serious.
—That's all calculated!
—Why'd we even do word chain? We're not kindergarteners.
—Yeah, word chain was overkill. If it was to bait Ephside into a duel... genius, but.
My earnest gambit trampled—I swallowed tears, nodded.
"Yeah, word chain was bait too. You fell for it! Why else play something so random seriously? Just to piss you off and drag you into a duel!"
The crowd buzzed at my smug shout.
—How many moves ahead was that?
—Bronze Tier played him like a fiddle? Real Bronze?
Ephside coughed blood at the murmurs.
"Fuck.... Called you monk.... Didn't believe...."
"Everyone says that. Anyway? Steal from others, be ready to lose your own. Lose the brooch, you're expelled?"
"Guh...."
Ephside passed out, unable to hold on.
Wanted to kick him.
But he was mangled from the ogre's palm.
Any more gore, and Aira might go Blade Queen mode. I draped my outer coat over him.
Swish.
In the end, I got my desired courses and silver brooch.
—Gorgor. Got credits. Taking courses. Know more. No get screwed.
And ogre Gorgor scored a 100th-place brooch and 12 credits from Ephside.