Take It Off
Evan answered while draping the robe over his shoulders. “The Whirlpool Market.”
“Why there again…! No, if you’re going, you have to take me with you…”
“This time I’m not buying a massive amount of ingredients like last time, and there’s a high chance the item I’m after won’t even be there. Going alone is fastest and simplest.”
“Last time you said almost the exact same thing and still used up every one of the ten rings you took.”
“…Which is why I’m bothering to bring this, even if it’s a pain.”
That much could not be denied, so Evan wore a faintly guilty expression as he slipped off the necklace he wore and showed it to her. A transparent gem filled with blue liquid, the necklace’s true worth far exceeded the ten rings from before. Because the price was paid in the liquid itself, the necklace would not vanish over a single wasted spell. For a simple errand it was considerable preparation, yet Kaede still shook her head.
“No. At this time of year an imperial investigator will certainly have been dispatched and will already be there.”
“That’s exactly why I’m using a spell to change my hair and eye color.”
“Master, I must still object. It is far too dangerous. If you were to be attacked while there…”
“Do you honestly think anything would threaten me unless it was you or a lich-class powerhouse doing the attacking?”
Kaede answered with absolute confidence. “You yourself are from that place, Master. There may well be a second master waiting.”
“……Did I ever tell you where I came from?”
“I deduced it. If it displeased you, I apologize.”
“I never hid it. There was simply no reason to bring it up. It’s not some grand or special past.”
It was nothing more than the tale of an orphaned child from the Empire who had been abandoned, drifted about, stumbled into that place, been rejected even there, and eventually wandered all the way into Abaddon.
“Anyway, I’ll be back.”
“Master!”
“Kaede, your overprotectiveness is getting excessive. I’m not a fish that suddenly dies of stress while swimming.”
When Evan replied with a touch of sharpness, Kaede hesitated, then lowered her head.
“Then at least allow me to see you as far as the border…”
“If the Saintess sees, it’ll become a hassle. She’ll definitely throw a tantrum about following, so keep her occupied for me…”
Evan opened the door and froze mid-sentence. Through the gap, a wealth of pink hair tilted and thudded heavily onto the floor.
“……Ugh.”
With that odd little sound, Iris rubbed her eyes and stood up, then broke into a bright smile the moment she saw Evan.
“Evan-Evan……”
Evan quickly steadied his breathing and, keeping his face as neutral as possible, asked the still sleep-slurred Iris.
“……Saintess. Why are you out here instead of sleeping in your own room?”
“Because Evan-Evan said I mustn’t enter his room, I waited until you came out…”
Fortunately it seemed she had not overheard their conversation.
“Why me in the middle of the night?”
“Today Rowena said she was busy, so…”
Iris hugged the pillow she held in one arm and giggled.
“So I thought I’d sleep with Evan-Evan or Big Sister Jiangshi……”
“How does your mind even reach that conclusion?”
“Sleeping alone is scary… but neither of you were coming out… and if I stay here I can hear your voices…”
Iris began nodding off again while still standing. Evan let out an inward sigh of relief and called to Kaede.
“Fine. Then I’ll leave Kaede with you, so stop dozing off here and go back to your room—”
“But……where are you going?”
“……”
“Those clothes are the ones you wore when we went to play last time……”
Damn it.
“That was not playing.”
It was to restock all the ingredients you ruined while cooking.
Still half-asleep, Iris continued in a slightly clumsy tone.
“It was……you went to play.”
“It wasn’t.”
“You ate delicious things…”
That fruit candy that fell on the ground?
“Laughed so much……”
You were the only one laughing your head off.
“What else did we do…?”
Still drunk on sleep, Iris misjudged the distance as she approached and bumped her forehead squarely into Evan’s chest. The jolt seemed to wake her a little; she lifted her head and smiled.
“Hehe… let’s go play again.”
“……Next time.”
“Right now…?”
Evan closed his eyes for a moment. He knew it was a cheap trick, yet he still placed his hand on top of Iris’s head.
“Mmm?”
A surefire way to improve the Saintess’s mood.
She really is like a pink puppy.
He stroked her crown gently for about a minute. Iris’s eyelids grew steadily heavier until they drooped right on the edge of sleep.
“Feels nice…”
“If you go play now you’ll be too tired to enjoy it.”
“Mmm…”
“Sleep well and I’ll bring you back a present.”
At the words meant to soothe the girl who was fighting to stay awake, Iris answered slowly.
“Really…?”
“Yes.”
“Then… good… we can play next time……”
That was all she managed before her breathing evened out and she fell fast asleep in Evan’s arms.
Fearing she might wake if she collapsed, Evan gently supported the swaying Iris and passed her to Kaede.
Hoho, how refreshingly innocent.
Benefactor, you’ve grown quite skilled at seduction. I haven’t even taught you how to secure the next date yet.
“Shut it, Natalia. I already said I’m not doing that.”
Wouldn’t it still be good to know, just in case?
“……I’m still not doing it.”
Evan moved to open the hallway window and leap out, but Natalia’s question made him pause.
What sort of present are you planning to bring back?
“Sugar.”
Wrong answer. Benefactor, you aren’t even cooking for her yourself, and bringing back ingredients is the absolute worst present. Especially for a woman. It’s nothing but baggage.
…Is it?
Evan paused for a moment, then shook his head.
“No. I already said I’m not doing this taming nonsense.”
This is separate from that. It’s a matter of masculine sense—no, before that, basic human courtesy.
“……”
He wanted to check whether she was serious, but unfortunately the only human present was Evan himself. Having lived among non-human beings since he was a snot-nosed child, he could hardly claim ordinary human sensibilities.
“……Then what should I buy?”
Sincerity.
“Natalia, stop messing with me.”
I’m completely serious. More than what the gift actually is, the other person can see in your face and attitude exactly how much thought and agonizing went into choosing it.
Natalia spoke as if Evan truly knew nothing.
That’s why giving the gift in person is most effective. A single bouquet worth less than one silver coin can move a woman’s heart. She will dry it carefully and keep it, remembering that person every time she looks at it.
It sounded reasonable— the moment he thought that, Evan frowned at the realization he was already being pulled in.
“I said I’m not doing it. Why is talk of hearts moving even mixed into a simple present?”
Hoho, I simply spoke from experience without thinking.
“It sounded extremely intentional.”
My, how sharp. Still, if you’re going to give a gift anyway, wouldn’t it be better to earn some extra favor?
“Enough. I’m leaving.”
Deciding that staying any longer would only drag him further in, Evan opened the window and jumped down.
“Move.”
Right before touching the ground, Evan’s body was swallowed by black flames and vanished as though burned away.
. . .
“This’ll take an undead head off in one shot!”
“……That’s not what I asked for.”
“No, I’m telling you, a hammer or mace like this is way better than some needle! Buddy, who uses a prissy little rapier to hunt ghouls or skeletons?”
Evan rubbed his throbbing temples.
“Just try this one! It’s a little heavy and crude, but it’s the best!”
“Forget it. If you don’t have it, just say so. I wasted my time.”
“Hey, I’ll give you a good price! Buddy!”
Ignoring the merchant who refused to stop hawking his wares, Evan moved on to the next stall.
I expected it, but it really isn’t here?
He had already visited the merchant who sold various tools in the Whirlpool Market, yet while there were nails and sewing needles, there were no blood-drawing needles. Wondering whether a weapons dealer might carry tools for eccentrics who wanted to collect ghoul blood or flesh, he had browsed the weapon stalls as well, but it seemed unlikely.
Well, if you want ghoul blood you can just smash its head with a mace and pour the remains into a bottle. Simple.
I’ll check one more stall and then head back.
He stepped into a rather dirty tent whose sign showed a spear and sword and called for the owner.
“Owner……”
“No, I don’t know anything! About what happened that day!”
Evan stopped short as he entered.
There was already a customer?
That in itself was not strange, but the customer’s appearance and the owner’s attitude were odd. The customer already carried a decent weapon yet had come to this low-quality shop, and despite no obvious threat the owner was clearly terrified.
“I heard you witnessed Abaddon’s Devil on the day the Black Sun rose.”
“I told you I don’t remember! I ran the moment I saw it!”
“Remember. Even the smallest detail of its appearance.”
An imperial investigator.
Evan quickly assessed the situation. He was about to withdraw while pretending to be an unrelated customer who did not want to get involved, when—
“I-it’s that guy!”
“Hm?”
The weapon merchant pointed straight at Evan.
“He looked just like that! So stop asking me!”
In a situation that made him want to swear out loud, Evan clicked his tongue. The odds that this merchant had recognized him were zero. Evan’s current appearance had been altered by a spell. The only similarity to his last visit to the Whirlpool Market was this ordinary robe that anyone might wear. Even the investigator across from him wore a similar robe. Therefore the merchant had simply pointed at a random person to escape the imperial investigator’s questioning and avoid recalling that terrifying day, but…
This is getting annoyingly complicated.
The problem was that the random choice had turned out to be the real thing.
“Hmm.”
The imperial investigator slowly approached while looking at Evan.
“I’d like you to remove your hood.”
“…I don’t know what you two were talking about, but I’m just a customer.”
Evan played dumb. The moment any simple background check began, he would stop being an ordinary customer and become a highly suspicious man; he wanted to brush it off if possible.
“I am not making a request.”
However, this investigator seemed to have sharp instincts.
“This is an order from an imperial investigator.”
He placed his left hand on the spear wrapped in bandages and warned.
“Take it off. I won’t say it three times.”