The Way Back
The Way Back
In my past life, I wasn't a very good person.
I was born with nothing.
No parents, no home, no inherited name.
To survive with empty hands, I had to steal from others, and to protect what I stole, I had to cut down stronger bastards.
Because of that, I became quite skilled with just a sword.
If someone offered money, I drew my sword without asking why. It didn't matter if the opponent was a bandit, a knight, or a mercenary who had shared the same pot of porridge until yesterday.
If I saw a neck worth cutting, I cut it.
That was all.
I had never even thought about protecting anyone. After all, there was no one behind me anyway.
"Elise Arbel."
Not anymore.
A cold blade touched my right shoulder.
I didn't raise my head.
Keeping my knees bent and lowering my gaze slightly, I could see the dark blue hem of the Valterion Imperial Army commander's cape over the well-polished marble. A double-headed eagle embroidered with gold thread was spreading its wings.
"For the past five years, you have served in the Valterion Imperial Army and subjugated numerous monsters and bandits."
The blade left my shoulder.
"In the recent border skirmish, you restored the collapsed battle line and repelled enemy knights, saving the commander and thirty-seven soldiers."
The sword moved to the opposite shoulder.
The gazes of the knights lined up on both sides of the grand hall pierced into my back.
Ordinarily, I would have looked back at each of them and told them to cast their eyes down, but I endured it today. If I picked a fight with a senior knight during the investiture ceremony, Omma would nag me.
The commander's voice rose a notch.
"Accordingly, your achievements and loyalty dedicated to the empire are recognized."
The blade grazed over my head one last time and withdrew.
"By the authority delegated to me by His Majesty the Emperor, I appoint Elise Arbel as a full-fledged knight of the Valterion Imperial Army."
At the declaration that echoed through the audience chamber, I bowed my head even deeper.
"Use your sword to protect the empire, its people, and those standing behind you."
"I will bear it in mind."
An attendant approached holding a silver tray. On it lay the appointment letter stamped with the emperor's seal and a silver emblem engraved with the double-headed eagle.
I stared at the objects in front of me for a moment.
What I couldn't obtain in my past life despite cutting down so many people, I obtained in this life in a mere twenty-one years.
Namely, the qualification that I am allowed to protect someone with my sword.
---
"Lize."
As soon as I stepped out of the count's castle front gate, footsteps followed closely from behind.
"New knight-nim."
The footsteps became faster.
"Sir Elise Arbel."
I could guess who it was before looking back. There weren't many people who could put the nuance of 'I graciously called out to you' into such a short title.
"Are you ignoring people the moment you receive your knighthood?"
Camelia was standing behind my back.
Waist-length purple hair and red eyes shining through them. Attire more suited to a magic tower's research lab than a battlefield, but she casually tucked a grimoire the size of a human head under one arm.
We had crossed paths three or four times at the border.
She was a wizard dispatched from the Magic Tower, and her skills were outstanding. The only problem was that after a battle ended, the time spent explaining how great the spell she used was longer than the battle itself.
"Did you call?"
"Three times."
"I would've heard you the first time."
"Then why are you only turning around now?"
"Because I didn't want to look back."
Camelia's brows narrowed.
Still, she didn't get angry.
It was a face that had pre-decided to generously overlook a fair amount of rudeness on a good day like today.
She pulled a thin booklet out from between the grimoires she held in her arms. Beneath the magic tower's emblem printed in gold leaf, Camelia's name was written in large letters.
Even before I could read the title, the booklet was shoved right in front of my nose.
"Have you read it?"
"What?"
Camelia's red eyes widened in disbelief.
"My thesis."
"I haven't."
"A Study on the Novel Arrangement Formula to Offset Interference Occurring During the Overlapping Process of Mana Formulas."
"I'm hearing that for the first time just now."
"That's not something you should say with such confidence."
"Because I'm a swordsman."
"You're a knight now."
Camelia pushed the thesis toward her chest.
"Anyway, the Magic Tower is in an uproar. It's a thesis that could completely change the existing complex spell structure. Two out of three judges were convinced from the start that my theory was correct, and even the last one admitted his mistake in just a week."
"Congratulations."
"You have no soul."
"Should I do it again?"
"Forget it."
Camelia came down the stairs and stood next to me.
I waited wondering what business she had, but she just adjusted the thesis to a good angle for showing. It seemed she was hoping passersby would recognize the cover.
"Let's grab a drink."
"No."
"There are two things to celebrate today, after all. My thesis was officially adopted, and you became a knight."
"Isn't the order reversed?"
"I stated them in order of importance."
I shouldn't have asked.
Turning my head, I saw a station carriage entering beyond the count's castle front gate. A route sign running between the capital and the Arbel domain hung beside the carriage body.
If I missed that, the next carriage was two hours later.
"Drink by yourself."
"Wait a minute. You surely aren't really going back, are you?"
"Then should I live here?"
"You can just have a drink and go tomorrow. I'll personally explain the core of the thesis to you. It's content that even high-ranking wizards of the Magic Tower are begging me to make time for."
"That means if I don't listen, I gain a whole day."
"What kind of nonsense is that!"
Camelia followed behind, but I ignored her and slipped out of the front gate.
The driver was just about to close the cargo compartment. When I showed my knight emblem and paid the fare, he politely opened the door.
The moment I put one foot on the carriage, my cape was pulled backward.
"Sir Elise."
Camelia was grabbing the end of my cape.
"You at least need to know how great this thesis is before you go."
"I feel like I just heard it."
"You don't know just how great it is."
"Judging by your look, you're going to milk this for the next year."
The hand gripping the cape hesitated.
It must have been the right answer.
"Anyway, next time we meet, make sure you read it. It's a promise. Got it?"
"If I remember."
"You have to remember!"
The driver swallowed a laugh and pulled the reins.
As the carriage moved, Camelia couldn't follow anymore. Sticking my head out the window, I saw her still standing below the stairs, waving her thesis.
"It's a thesis that will remain in the Magic Tower's history! The Magic Tower's history!"
That voice too was buried under the sound of wheels as we passed out of the castle gate.
It seemed true that she wrote a magnificent thesis.
And it was also true that she was an extremely exhausting human being.
The carriage picked up speed as it entered the highway outside the capital.
From the capital to the Arbel domain took about half a day by carriage. It was a military highway paved to transport the capital's troops and supplies, and horses could be changed at two stations in the middle of the road.
Even a simple spell to reduce vibration was cast on the axle. It was an expensive spell too costly for an ordinary carriage, but it was possible because it was a route directly operated by the empire.
In my past life, a distance like this would have taken two full days.
If I was lucky, I stole a horse; if I was unlucky, the soles of my shoes fell off first. When I found someone collapsed on the road, rather than checking if they were alive, I first checked if there were any items worth taking.
In many ways, this world was more livable.
I leaned my body against the backrest.
When I changed my posture, the new uniform pulled a bit around my chest. I hooked my finger inside the collar and loosened it slightly.
It had already been twenty-one years since I was reborn as a woman and lived. I had gotten used to most things long ago, but the discomforts that didn't exist in my past life hadn't completely vanished.
It wasn't to the extent of interfering with swinging a sword, so that was that.
Every time the carriage stepped on a stone, the appointment cylinder at my waist tapped against my thigh.
What would Appa say if I showed him the appointment letter?
He would probably read the appointment letter silently several times and then pat my shoulder.
― Congratulations. I'm proud of you.
And then he would surely ask one more thing.
― Did all the soldiers who went out with you return?
Appa, who had been a knight in his youth, considered whether one protected one's own people in the process just as important as making achievements.
If someone got hurt because of his command, he didn't look for excuses first. He would personally go find that person to apologize and take responsibility until treatment was finished.
I saw many strong people in my past life, but Appa was the first person I thought I wanted to emulate.
Omma would spot the torn sleeve of my uniform before the appointment letter.
― Aren't you hurt anywhere?
― I'm not.
― Then why is your sleeve like this?
― While fighting at an inn and using a table as a shield, it just so happened.
― Did you pay for it?
― Even though the enemy threw the table?
― That enemy wasn't the inn owner, was he?
Writing the story about the inn table in the letter sent from the border was a mistake.
Omma was affectionate, but being affectionate didn't mean she would turn a blind eye to wrongs. Even if it was done with good intentions, if it caused harm to others, she made sure to apologize and pay for it.
Rather than spinning clumsy excuses in front of Omma, it was better to face a court-martial of the empire.
And Claire.
― Eonni, if you don't get appointed as a knight, I'm going to write your name under my acceptance notice too.
― Why?
― The Arbel family has one successful applicant and one rejected applicant this year.
― Should I tear up your notice first?
― Wow, look over here! The rejected applicant is jealous of the successful applicant!
The younger sister who chattered like that left home before me and entered the Imperial Magic Academy.
She was a kid who was only a year younger than me and had never once treated me like an eonni.
But she was definitely not someone who was all talk.
She took care of the reply deadlines for official documents I had postponed, and if she found a single wrong number in the domain ledger, she would rummage through the whole house as if catching an embezzler.
Magic was the same.
We couldn't even assign her a professional teacher, but she learned in her spare time from wizards visiting the domain and read borrowed books until they wore out. Then she proudly passed the entrance exam for the Imperial Magic Academy and was currently staying in the capital's dormitory.
My younger sister, who, though mischievous, was indispensable to the Arbel family.
She probably had already heard the news that I became a full-fledged knight... but seeing that there still hasn't been a single contact.
It seemed she was waiting for my contact.
Annoying brat.
I pressed the small money pouch inside my coat.
I hadn't received my regular salary yet, but I had already decided how to use the money coming in. I planned to contribute it to Claire's textbooks, catalysts, magic tools, and dorm fees.
It wasn't particularly for my younger sister's sake.
If I sent her to the academy by spending a lot of money and she went rummaging through second-hand textbooks saying money was precious, that would be an even greater waste of tuition. It meant she should properly equip what was needed and learn thoroughly.
Claire wouldn't believe it, though.
Outside the window, barley fields and low hills passed by.
In my past life, I had nothing.
No parents, no home, no one waiting for me to return. I fought not to die, and once I survived, I looked for the next meal and the next fight.
Even at the last moment, there was only one regret.
I could have cut down a few more bastards.
Thinking about it now, it was a pathetic life.
Of course, I hadn't desired that kind of life from the beginning.
Around the time I first grasped a sword, I too wanted to become a Sword Saint. A great swordsman who was stronger than anyone else yet protected the weak, and received the respect of countless people.
But as I swung my sword to make a living, from some point on, I forgot that dream.
And the name people called me wasn't Sword Saint, but Sword Fiend.
This time was different.
There was Appa, who took full responsibility for the decisions he made to the end.
There was Omma, who looked after someone's wounds first while clearly drawing the line at faults.
And there was my younger sister who left the domain to carve out her own path at the Imperial Magic Academy, mischievous yet indispensable.
I had more than enough than my station warranted.
So I had to protect them.
If I could see them smile like this for a long time, spending my entire remaining life wouldn't be a waste.
In my past life, I lived solely for myself.
This time, I intended to live for them.
If I did that, perhaps one day I might even reach the dream I failed to achieve in my past life.
A Sword Saint, not a Sword Fiend.
It didn't seem like a bad idea to aim for that name in this lifetime.
---
When I arrived at the Arbel domain, the sun was hanging over the western hills.
As I got off the carriage, the smell of soil warmed during the day and freshly cut grass wafted up.
I slung my leather bag over my shoulder and walked up the hill.
Domain residents I met along the way offered congratulations, saying they heard the news of the investiture. I passed by with short replies, but after receiving the third greeting, my pace quickened slightly.
Over the hill, the old gray roof of the Arbel mansion was revealed.
The front gate was open.
However, no one came out to greet me.
My pace slowed down.
I stepped into the yard.
The warehouse doors were locked, and lights were on in a few windows of the mansion.
There were no signs of intrusion.
However, the smell rushing through the cracks of the front door was different.
It wasn't the warm, familiar smell of firewood smoke that always lingered.
A sweet, sticky, yet fishy body odor and heat were spreading from beyond the hallway.
"Appa?"
There was no answer.
"Omma."
Creeeak.
The wind pushed the open front door.
My hand naturally went up to the hilt of my sword.
At that moment, a faint sound leaked from deep inside the mansion.
"Chwub... jjub♥ chwuruub... ub♥"
I stopped walking.
It was an overly wet and vulgar voice, muffled as it passed through the walls and hallway.
A thick, viscous sound of stubbornly sucking on something while wetting it with saliva inside a full mouth.
"Uwub♥ jjub... chwuruuruub----!! ♥Ugh, ughk♥"
A vulgar voice of smacking lips while meticulously rolling the tongue and licking, even while suffocating from a pillar piercing deep into the throat.
Veins bulged to the point of bursting on the hand gripping the sword hilt.
I slowly pushed open the door of that house I had sought to protect.