74. Obsession is Dangerous
Last night—or technically today, since it was after midnight. Even in such a dangerous situation, we couldn't hide our desire for each other. Even after going through that perilous incident, the moment Mom headed out to the market, we were clinging to each other on the sofa like it was the most natural thing in the world. Me biting your thigh, or you sprawling across my lap. I wanted this relationship, sure, but I didn't want to walk on thin ice that could shatter at any moment. Even if I enjoy the thrill, I'm not the type to actually risk my life for that rush.
"Gyeo-ul. Let's... stop doing that at night from now on."
"…."
"You'll be heading out for your part-time job soon anyway, so we'll have plenty of time outside. ...Honestly, if we keep it up, I won't be able to hold back. Us."
"…Yeah."
"We'll sneak in just kisses... and no more nighttime meetups. Got it?"
"…Got it."
We both needed to exercise some self-control. Our relationship had already crossed every line, but yesterday was excessive even by those standards. We couldn't keep going like that. But if the same situation arose again, we'd probably act the exact same way.
"Oppa, but... do one thing for me."
"What."
"Can we fall asleep on the phone before bed?"
"On the phone?"
"I think it'd help me sleep more comfortably...."
"Well... sure, no problem."
"If I put in earphones and drift off to your voice...."
"…Yeah, let's do that."
...Truth be told, I can't sleep easy without your scent either. Without hearing your voice and breathing, I always end up dreaming. Bad dreams.
This seemed like a decent compromise. Our relationship wasn't one we could just endure anyway. We'd find ways to indulge that wouldn't get us caught. Places where we wouldn't get caught. To satisfy the desires we harbored for each other.
"Oh, right. Oppa... pillows too."
"Pillows?"
"I'll give you one of my cushions, so you give me one of yours."
"…To smell while you sleep?"
"I'm just gonna hug it while I sleep. What do you take me for?"
"…Fine. Let's swap one."
"…Yeah."
So close, yet so far. A relationship we couldn't reveal was full of contradictions. I couldn't even say "I love you" out loud, no matter how much I meant it. Maybe that's why our feelings never faded—because we couldn't show them. Fighting among ourselves would just be stupid.
"Ah... Oppa, can you hear me?"
"…You're talking like it's your first phone call ever."
"I mean, does my whisper carry?"
"Loud and clear. …Even your breathing."
"…Yeah. Me too."
The first night after swapping pillows. My sister, just one wall away. We could talk without the phone if we raised our voices a bit, but it was nighttime. So we cranked up the volume just enough for breaths to come through, whispering secrets that wouldn't get us caught.
"But what should we talk about, Oppa?"
"…We called to sleep, so do we really need to chat?"
"True, but…."
"You've got work starting tomorrow, so let's hit the hay early."
"Oh, right... work. Almost forgot."
"What would you do without me? Forgetting stuff like that."
"Huh? You planning to vanish from my side, Oppa?"
"…I'd never. You'd probably starve to death."
"…Guess I have no choice. I don't wanna starve either, so I gotta keep you from running off."
No shortage of topics or shared interests? Didn't matter anymore—conversation flowed endlessly. Just talking about each other gave us plenty to say. Honestly, words weren't even necessary. Your breathing alone would've sufficed.
"…Hey, Oppa."
"What."
"That cafe's huge, right? There'll be other part-timers besides us."
"Probably."
"Even if there's a pretty one among them, no cheating, okay?"
"…Not even gonna glance her way."
Why did she keep worrying about me? She should worry about herself more. Not that it mattered—I'd be watching anyway.
"For real?"
"If you really wanted, you could ruin my life socially. How could I?"
"…Did you have to put it like that?"
"Just... seemed more convincing that way."
She used to say embarrassing stuff so easily back then. Hearing it from her perspective now? Way more mortifying than I expected. Especially sober, outside the heat of the moment.
"Let's both pretend we have partners. You have a super cute girlfriend three years younger, and I have a super reliable boyfriend three years older."
"…Doesn't that embarrass you, saying it out loud?"
"Says the guy who's the world champ at embarrassing lines?"
"Not as good as you."
"I'm... your little sister. I learned from the best."
"…Fair enough."
"Yup. Your fault."
What could I do? Even if it was her fault, as my possession, it was all on me. I'd own that much. I'd taken so much from her already.
"Anyway, got it. Time to sleep. Early rise tomorrow."
"…Yeah. Night, Oppa."
"You won't hang up, right?"
"Duh. Volume's maxed, so breathe deep. Let me hear it."
"Gotcha. …Night."
"Yeah. …Sweet dreams, big bro."
"That kills my sleep. Go to bed."
"Yes, sir, big bro. Rest in peace."
"…Sleep."
"…Yeah."
Inhaling the scent lingering on your cushion, earphones filling with your breaths, I drifted off peacefully. No dreams.
Our first part-time shift together turned out better than expected. The owner laughed, saying we siblings were both lookers, and handed over the contract right away. Not exactly sweet, but kind enough. A bit temperamental, sure, but good to us—and she fed us too. The place was big, so plenty of other part-timers, but no creeps. Everyone was nice. Was the world always this warm?
Of course, some guys showed interest... but we shut them down quick. As if. Once we flat-out said we had partners, no one tried anything. Not that we admitted to being siblings in a relationship—we just pretended to have separate lovers. Couldn't hide the family resemblance anyway, names or looks. Owner knew, obviously.
9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Busy, but minus lunch, it was seven hours. Not bad. …Told Mom we worked till 6, though.
I'd done this before enlisting, so no sweat. Gyeo-ul picked it up fast, all eager and quick. Didn't know she had it in her to chat up customers like that. All that teasing me must've boosted her social skills. Hope so.
After shifts, we'd grab coffee and wander. Sometimes we didn't wander... but never went straight home. Lies, after all. Post-lunch, quick tooth-brushing, stolen moments—like now.
"…Oppa. Stop biting my ear. Hurts."
"Don't wanna."
"We can do it later after work... seriously...."
Late lunch nearby, then thirty minutes left. Alley out of sight. Our first kiss spot. We killed time here sometimes. When one of us was mad, to vent—like now.
"…Over that guy earlier?"
"Obviously?"
"He just asked you to grab something...."
"Should've scowled more when you answered. You bite my ear if I even talk to another girl."
"…You do that low voice, show-off thing."
Coffee scent now ingrained in her. Apron was cute, but I preferred minimal layers. Hugging from behind like this, I could feel her breasts even through clothes.
"Ha... ah... …Oppa jealous?"
"Me?"
"Hugging way tighter than usual. Hurts."
"…Dunno?"
"Jealous over your little sister? Gross...."
I released her ear, buried my nose in her nape. Mark her as mine. …Band-Aid needed anyway. Sanity half-returned—no sucking, just biting and licking. Teeth marks and saliva, just dirty enough. Fades quick.
"Let go, seriously...."
"Why?"
"…Hard to kiss from behind."
She whined for release; I flipped her around, face-to-face. …Gotta head there after. The motel.
"…Oppa, wanna rest after work?"
"How'd you know."
"That look in your eyes."
"If you wanna rest, we will."
"…You're the one constantly biting. I'm beat. Let's chill after."
We licked toothpaste-scented lips. Hardly wholesome, but cleanest we'd been lately. Not in risky spots, and at home—phone aside—we played normal bickering siblings.
"F... ah... …Oppa, your eyes are scary again."
"Yours looks weird too."
"Me?"
"Bet no one's seen that face but me."
"…It's just for you."
"…I only look like this for you."
"Liar. You eye grilled meat like that when you're hungry."
"That's hunger."
"…So you're hungry now?"
"…Starving."
Back in society after so long cooped up, but our feelings only intensified. Obsession, affection, desire. None of it diminished. Guess I'd call Mom, say we're running late. Shifts dragging on.