Chapter 41: The Wizard and the Barbarian (1)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 41: The Wizard and the Barbarian (1)
"N-No! Just once! Please, just give me one chance!"
"What are you all doing? Throw these two in jail, now."
First, the pleading investigator and unconscious adventurer were carted off. Then, the compensation process proceeded swiftly. As soon as they signed a letter agreeing that they wouldn't discuss this matter with anyone, the two were given a total of six million stones with an added tip. But that wasn't all.
"These are all the items in your name."
"So? Is everything there, Mr. Yandel?" the wizard said, a strange look in her eyes as she watched the barbarian dig through his belongings. "There might be something missing."
"...Missing?" The barbarian flinched, then smirked like he saw what she was getting at. "Now that I'm looking again, it does seem like something is missing."
"My oh my. Could it be that something was misplaced?"
"Not an item... but about one million stones have disappeared."
Anyone could tell they were acting. The branch manager's eyes glazed over as his blood pressure rose. What kind of scamming assholes were these?
"What are you talking about? How could an adventurer have such a large sum of money straight out of the labyrinth?"
"Then are you saying we're lying?"
The branch manager flinched at the wizard's cold tone. "I-I-It's obvious—"
"Your proof?"
"Of course I don't have—"
"Oh my. Are you accusing us of scamming you without any proof? Mr. Yandel, I think this branch manager should be placed on the list of people who need to be punished."
"That's true. To decry an innocent barbarian and wizard as liars, he's clearly poorly trained—"
"That's enough," the district chief interrupted with a sigh. "We will compensate you for the lost money as well."
"Since that's a given, I won't say thank you."
They may not have been holding knives, but they were no different from a bunch of muggers, shameless to the point that it was ridiculous. However, the branch manager couldn't do anything except watch the scene unfold.
"Here are one million stones."
"Wow, the Adventurers' Guild must be as wealthy as the rumors say, seeing as how the money comes straight out of your pocket."
"...I believe I have shown you all the respect I owe the magic tower. Do not push it any further."
"Sure, why not?"
"Then will you hand me the mana crystal now?" asked the branch manager.
"No. I think I'd better hold on to it until the punishments are properly carried out. Of course, I promise not to show anyone until then."
"...You will have to keep that promise."
"Of course. Don't worry. We'll be on our way now, so please take care of the crowd outside."
With that, the barbarian and wizard left, and a heavy silence descended over the room as it had just been ravaged by a series of heavy storms. In the end, the guild had lost another million stones and was not even able to retrieve the mana crystal right away. In addition, the crowd gathered in front of the guild, as well as the other individuals involved, had to be dealt with. The district chief's face, which had worn a forced smile in front of the man and woman, was now as cold as the icecaps.
Feeling a suffocating chill go down his spine, the branch manager barely managed to open his mouth. "Um... D-District chief? Th-thank you for earlier..."
"Thank me?"
"W-well... you played along with their blackmail to protect me."
"Of course, because you are one of my people."
"Sir! I won't forget what happened today and I'll work for the rest of my life—"
"So if someone's going to get rid of you, it'll be me."
The branch manager, who had had a deeply moved expression on his face as he spoke, now looked dazed. "...Sorry? W-What do you mean?"
"How naive you are. You thought you'd walk out of here unscathed after what you've done?"
"B-But I truly—"
"Enough. I'll take care of everything from now on, so if you at least want to save your skin, you'd better lay low until the public calms down. Whether you lose your job or that bastard meets a sudden death, it'll have to be seen as unrelated to this incident." Before he could say anything back, the district chief whipped around and looked at his daughter. "I'll hear your reasoning for being here today later."
"...Yes, Father."
"Then let's leave."
The office was empty in an instant. Left alone, the branch manager thought to himself that this all had to be a nightmare.
"Hahaha..."
***
A black spire soared high into the sky, and I was currently on its thirty-first floor.
"So? Your first impression of the magic tower."
"The lack of windows is a little suffocating."
"Um... Well, sort of. But if we hadn't compromised on the windows, we wouldn't have been able to build such a high-rise building in the city."
I was currently in the office of Arua Raven, a wizard affiliated with the school of Altemion.
"Here, sit."
Clearing away the pile of documents on top of the chair, I sat down, and she brought me a drink in an Erlenmeyer flask.
"Oh, I don't have any cups here."
I took a moment to study the drink she gave me and came to a conclusion. "...It's water."
"Yes, what about it? Did you want some Basilisk extract instead?"
"No, this is fine." Of course, I didn't drink it. I knew it was just water, but I was still uncomfortable drinking it. Not long ago, this same flask likely held colorful liquids and organ specimens from monsters. I set it aside and got straight to the point. "So, why did you bring me here?"
"I have something important to discuss with you. You promised to owe me a favor, right?"
Of course. I had hastily agreed at the time, but sitting here now, I was beginning to regret it. She wouldn't ask for a medical experiment, would she? "As I said back then, as long as it's within reason."
"Fine. That's enough for me."
"So, what's the favor?"
"I want you to grant me exclusive rights to research the essence that you consumed. My studies will definitely be of help to you as well. Considering how rare it is, we may even discover something special."
The more she spoke, the more the look in her eyes changed from the calculating look she had while negotiating with the district chief to the zealous eyes I saw back in the rift. To be fair, I could understand that look. Even ignoring the fact that we'd experienced a variant rift, there had never been a rift where a vampire had appeared as its guardian.
Feeling a suffocating chill go down his spine, the branch manager barely managed to open his mouth. "Um... D-District chief? Th-thank you for earlier..."
"Thank me?"
"W-well... you played along with their blackmail to protect me."
"Of course, because you are one of my people."
"Sir! I won't forget what happened today and I'll work for the rest of my life—"
"So if someone's going to get rid of you, it'll be me."
The branch manager, who had had a deeply moved expression on his face as he spoke, now looked dazed. "...Sorry? W-What do you mean?"
"How naive you are. You thought you'd walk out of here unscathed after what you've done?"
"B-But I truly—"
"Enough. I'll take care of everything from now on, so if you at least want to save your skin, you'd better lay low until the public calms down. Whether you lose your job or that bastard meets a sudden death, it'll have to be seen as unrelated to this incident." Before he could say anything back, the district chief whipped around and looked at his daughter. "I'll hear your reasoning for being here today later."
"...Yes, Father."
"Then let's leave."
The office was empty in an instant. Left alone, the branch manager thought to himself that this all had to be a nightmare.
"Hahaha..."
***
A black spire soared high into the sky, and I was currently on its thirty-first floor.
"So? Your first impression of the magic tower."
"The lack of windows is a little suffocating."
"Um... Well, sort of. But if we hadn't compromised on the windows, we wouldn't have been able to build such a high-rise building in the city."
I was currently in the office of Arua Raven, a wizard affiliated with the school of Altemion.
"Here, sit."
Clearing away the pile of documents on top of the chair, I sat down, and she brought me a drink in an Erlenmeyer flask.
"Oh, I don't have any cups here."
I took a moment to study the drink she gave me and came to a conclusion. "...It's water."
"Yes, what about it? Did you want some Basilisk extract instead?"
"No, this is fine." Of course, I didn't drink it. I knew it was just water, but I was still uncomfortable drinking it. Not long ago, this same flask likely held colorful liquids and organ specimens from monsters. I set it aside and got straight to the point. "So, why did you bring me here?"
"I have something important to discuss with you. You promised to owe me a favor, right?"
Of course. I had hastily agreed at the time, but sitting here now, I was beginning to regret it. She wouldn't ask for a medical experiment, would she? "As I said back then, as long as it's within reason."
"Fine. That's enough for me."
"So, what's the favor?"
"I want you to grant me exclusive rights to research the essence that you consumed. My studies will definitely be of help to you as well. Considering how rare it is, we may even discover something special."
The more she spoke, the more the look in her eyes changed from the calculating look she had while negotiating with the district chief to the zealous eyes I saw back in the rift. To be fair, I could understand that look. Even ignoring the fact that we'd experienced a variant rift, there had never been a rift where a vampire had appeared as its guardian.
"But what do you mean by exclusive research rights?"
"Oh, that? To put it simply, it means that you will only provide samples to me. I want to submit the thesis to the academy in my name."
Were wizards in this universe kind of like graduate students? I didn't really get that motive myself, but... I'd also heard that scholars had a strong desire for accolades. Oh, wait. "Is that why you asked the district chief to get rid of all records related to the vampire earlier?"
When we were signing the letter of agreement back at the guild, she had been the one to request that my consumption of the vampire's essence be omitted from any official documents. Of course, I didn't expect that alone to guarantee perfect secrecy, but it was better than nothing, so I had agreed.
They say to keep 70 percent of your abilities hidden.
To be honest, I was beginning to feel grateful that she was taking care of even minutiae like that.
She scratched her cheek awkwardly. "Uh, mm, well... can't say that's not why..."
Denying a denial. That meant I was right.
After a moment, Raven completely changed the subject. "Ahem! Anyway, I won't ask for much. Come see me once a week for about three hours."
Three hours a week, huh? "For how long?"
"Mm, half a year should be enough."
"Three months."
"All right. So you'll agree to my request?"
"I will."
With the first item on the agenda settled, Raven immediately brought up the next topic. "Now... should we finish up the calculations?"
Calculations? Was there still something left to be sorted? When I gave her a look asking what kind of nonsense she was talking about, she came at me from a different angle, just like how she had negotiated with the district chief head-on.
"You got out of that mess thanks to me. Not to mention, you also earned a total of six million stones. I don't think it's unreasonable to claim my share."
Haha, of course. Now I was getting a better sense of these wizards. If I were an efficiency freak, these people were the ultimate profit freaks. So, I decided to shift my mindset to the same one I used when I was crushing a goblin's head.
"Give you money? What an interesting request."
***
The quarrel continued in voices that were slightly louder than before.
"Any other wizard would have done the same," I argued.
"I'm not sure about that. If it had been someone else, they would have sold the mana crystal as soon as the district chief made the offer."
"But the price for that has already been paid. A whopping one million stones." Actually, since she had earned so much thanks to me, by the name of Behela, I should be the one claiming my share.
"...Then at least give me the one million you got for the backpack at the end. That was purely thanks to my help."
Did I really say I wanted to be friends with her earlier? I had officially changed my mind. Do barbarians look like idiots to you? "I refuse."
"All right. Since you agreed to cooperate with my research, I won't ask for everything. Give me half—five hundred thousand stones."
"I refuse."
"Ha, then 250,000 stones—"
"I won't hear any more of this. I refuse." I wouldn't make the slightest compromise. That was because anyone who tried to steal from me was a fucking bitch, and I didn't make compromises with bitches. On the contrary, I was the only one who could steal. "End of conversation."
"But what do you mean by exclusive research rights?"
"Oh, that? To put it simply, it means that you will only provide samples to me. I want to submit the thesis to the academy in my name."
Were wizards in this universe kind of like graduate students? I didn't really get that motive myself, but... I'd also heard that scholars had a strong desire for accolades. Oh, wait. "Is that why you asked the district chief to get rid of all records related to the vampire earlier?"
When we were signing the letter of agreement back at the guild, she had been the one to request that my consumption of the vampire's essence be omitted from any official documents. Of course, I didn't expect that alone to guarantee perfect secrecy, but it was better than nothing, so I had agreed.
They say to keep 70 percent of your abilities hidden.
To be honest, I was beginning to feel grateful that she was taking care of even minutiae like that.
She scratched her cheek awkwardly. "Uh, mm, well... can't say that's not why..."
Denying a denial. That meant I was right.
After a moment, Raven completely changed the subject. "Ahem! Anyway, I won't ask for much. Come see me once a week for about three hours."
Three hours a week, huh? "For how long?"
"Mm, half a year should be enough."
"Three months."
"All right. So you'll agree to my request?"
"I will."
With the first item on the agenda settled, Raven immediately brought up the next topic. "Now... should we finish up the calculations?"
Calculations? Was there still something left to be sorted? When I gave her a look asking what kind of nonsense she was talking about, she came at me from a different angle, just like how she had negotiated with the district chief head-on.
"You got out of that mess thanks to me. Not to mention, you also earned a total of six million stones. I don't think it's unreasonable to claim my share."
Haha, of course. Now I was getting a better sense of these wizards. If I were an efficiency freak, these people were the ultimate profit freaks. So, I decided to shift my mindset to the same one I used when I was crushing a goblin's head.
"Give you money? What an interesting request."
***
The quarrel continued in voices that were slightly louder than before.
"Any other wizard would have done the same," I argued.
"I'm not sure about that. If it had been someone else, they would have sold the mana crystal as soon as the district chief made the offer."
"But the price for that has already been paid. A whopping one million stones." Actually, since she had earned so much thanks to me, by the name of Behela, I should be the one claiming my share.
"...Then at least give me the one million you got for the backpack at the end. That was purely thanks to my help."
Did I really say I wanted to be friends with her earlier? I had officially changed my mind. Do barbarians look like idiots to you? "I refuse."
"All right. Since you agreed to cooperate with my research, I won't ask for everything. Give me half—five hundred thousand stones."
"I refuse."
"Ha, then 250,000 stones—"
"I won't hear any more of this. I refuse." I wouldn't make the slightest compromise. That was because anyone who tried to steal from me was a fucking bitch, and I didn't make compromises with bitches. On the contrary, I was the only one who could steal. "End of conversation."
"What? Do you have any idea how much money I lost in the rift because of you?"
Soon, I made up my mind. I have to crush her spirit before she starts looking down on me even more.
To be honest, it wasn't that I wasn't grateful. But regardless of that, if we were going to have a long-term and friendly relationship, I needed to show her what kind of man I was. The kind of bastard who just laughs things off no matter how he's treated isn't a nice guy, but a total fool.
The reason why she's being so persistent is probably not because she actually needs the money, but to crush my spirit.
"Let's move on to the other calculations," I said out loud.
Raven cocked her head like she couldn't think of what I could be referring to. "What other calculations?"
I spoke straightforwardly, like a barbarian. "You have to give me five million stones."
"F-Five million stones? And why should I do that?"
"Because you fed me the corpse golem's essence without my consent."
"W-What?" she shouted like that was absurd. "Ha! I gave you an essence anyone would kill to have, yet I should pay you money for it? Do you think that makes logical sense?"
It did. It wasn't an ignorant, outlandish request. I didn't know why everyone here lacked creativity, but if you looked at it piece by piece, my argument was perfectly reasonable. "Why do you think it makes no sense? You forcibly fed me that essence without my consent for your survival."
"Y-You don't think I was trying to save you?"
"I don't know about that, nor do I want to. So, give me ten million stones. I heard that that's how much it costs to remove an essence at the temple—"
"Why would you get it removed, you crazy barbarian!?"
"Because it wasn't the essence I wanted. You have done me serious damage."
Unlike before, when she had been the one negotiating a price, her face turned red. My words sounded like a total stretch, but at the same time, they made some sense, which was clearly infuriating to her.
After breathing hard for a while, she finally quieted down. "...I heard that adventurers can't even buy an essence with money. Which is why this doesn't make sense. I should be the one getting paid!"
"That's just a preconceived notion you have as a wizard. You can ask another adventurer if you'd like—how they would feel if someone forcibly fed them an essence they didn't want."
"Ha! You think I don't know any other adventurers? Wait here. I'll ask them right now." Raven frantically picked up the mana crystal on her desk. Then, she manipulated it like she was dialing a phone number and soon established a connection. "Ah, is this Mr. Patzran?"
"And who is this?"
"Hello. This is Arua Raven of the Altemion School. We met a while ago, along with my master."
"Ah! Miss Raven! I remember. But how can I help you all of a sudden?"
"I have a question for you. How would you feel if someone fed you an essence you didn't plan on taking without your consent?"
"Hahaha! I don't know why you're asking such a bizarre question, but to give you an answer... I would be very angry."
Her triumphant expression did not last long. "...Pardon? Why angry? W-What if it's a rank seven essence? And a rare one that can only be obtained from the rift?"
"Even so, my answer is the same. To me, an unplanned essence would only ever have a negative effect. You must not be aware, Miss Raven, but adventurers cannot advance to the upper floors by consuming just any essence."
After hearing the adventurer's friendly reply, Raven glanced over at me, beginning to pale. "O-O-Of course. But, assuming something like that were to happen... How should someone be compensated for it?"
"If it were me, I would demand compensation in cash."
"About how much...?"
"Oh, fifteen million stones would be appropriate."
"That much?!"
"When it comes to essences, the cost of erasing one increases the more you erase. I wonder where those god-worshippers even use the money, but... tsk."
"Ah, ahh, that's right..." Apparently losing feeling in her hands, she dropped the mana crystal, and it rolled onto the floor.
I picked it up for her and put it back into her hand. "You still have one more question to ask," I whispered in her ear.
"...I-I-If you couldn't be compensated with money," the blonde young woman asked in a trembling voice, "what would you do?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure. If something like that happened to me and the perpetrator was right in front of me..." The man on the other side of the transmission paused, and when he next spoke, it was with enthusiasm. "I'd probably snap their head off. Hahaha!"
"What? Do you have any idea how much money I lost in the rift because of you?"
Soon, I made up my mind. I have to crush her spirit before she starts looking down on me even more.
To be honest, it wasn't that I wasn't grateful. But regardless of that, if we were going to have a long-term and friendly relationship, I needed to show her what kind of man I was. The kind of bastard who just laughs things off no matter how he's treated isn't a nice guy, but a total fool.
The reason why she's being so persistent is probably not because she actually needs the money, but to crush my spirit.
"Let's move on to the other calculations," I said out loud.
Raven cocked her head like she couldn't think of what I could be referring to. "What other calculations?"
I spoke straightforwardly, like a barbarian. "You have to give me five million stones."
"F-Five million stones? And why should I do that?"
"Because you fed me the corpse golem's essence without my consent."
"W-What?" she shouted like that was absurd. "Ha! I gave you an essence anyone would kill to have, yet I should pay you money for it? Do you think that makes logical sense?"
It did. It wasn't an ignorant, outlandish request. I didn't know why everyone here lacked creativity, but if you looked at it piece by piece, my argument was perfectly reasonable. "Why do you think it makes no sense? You forcibly fed me that essence without my consent for your survival."
"Y-You don't think I was trying to save you?"
"I don't know about that, nor do I want to. So, give me ten million stones. I heard that that's how much it costs to remove an essence at the temple—"
"Why would you get it removed, you crazy barbarian!?"
"Because it wasn't the essence I wanted. You have done me serious damage."
Unlike before, when she had been the one negotiating a price, her face turned red. My words sounded like a total stretch, but at the same time, they made some sense, which was clearly infuriating to her.
After breathing hard for a while, she finally quieted down. "...I heard that adventurers can't even buy an essence with money. Which is why this doesn't make sense. I should be the one getting paid!"
"That's just a preconceived notion you have as a wizard. You can ask another adventurer if you'd like—how they would feel if someone forcibly fed them an essence they didn't want."
"Ha! You think I don't know any other adventurers? Wait here. I'll ask them right now." Raven frantically picked up the mana crystal on her desk. Then, she manipulated it like she was dialing a phone number and soon established a connection. "Ah, is this Mr. Patzran?"
"And who is this?"
"Hello. This is Arua Raven of the Altemion School. We met a while ago, along with my master."
"Ah! Miss Raven! I remember. But how can I help you all of a sudden?"
"I have a question for you. How would you feel if someone fed you an essence you didn't plan on taking without your consent?"
"Hahaha! I don't know why you're asking such a bizarre question, but to give you an answer... I would be very angry."
Her triumphant expression did not last long. "...Pardon? Why angry? W-What if it's a rank seven essence? And a rare one that can only be obtained from the rift?"
"Even so, my answer is the same. To me, an unplanned essence would only ever have a negative effect. You must not be aware, Miss Raven, but adventurers cannot advance to the upper floors by consuming just any essence."
After hearing the adventurer's friendly reply, Raven glanced over at me, beginning to pale. "O-O-Of course. But, assuming something like that were to happen... How should someone be compensated for it?"
"If it were me, I would demand compensation in cash."
"About how much...?"
"Oh, fifteen million stones would be appropriate."
"That much?!"
"When it comes to essences, the cost of erasing one increases the more you erase. I wonder where those god-worshippers even use the money, but... tsk."
"Ah, ahh, that's right..." Apparently losing feeling in her hands, she dropped the mana crystal, and it rolled onto the floor.
I picked it up for her and put it back into her hand. "You still have one more question to ask," I whispered in her ear.
"...I-I-If you couldn't be compensated with money," the blonde young woman asked in a trembling voice, "what would you do?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure. If something like that happened to me and the perpetrator was right in front of me..." The man on the other side of the transmission paused, and when he next spoke, it was with enthusiasm. "I'd probably snap their head off. Hahaha!"