Newlywed Hyde Is a Novelist #1
Son-in-law to a count’s house that once commanded the world.
Husband to the most beautiful woman in the realm—one of the so-called Three Flowers of the Kingdom.
I had settled into the seat everyone coveted.
With worries about where to sleep and what to eat gone, the hours I could spend in prayer and meditation only grew.
“Hyde, look at this. Do you think it suits me? This white dress, I mean. Does it feel too extravagant? The territory’s finances haven’t been great lately…”
My new bride Psyche loved trying on clothes of every kind.
Two years of illness had kept her from changing into the outfits she liked as often as she wished, and now she seemed determined to make up for that lost time—constantly slipping into new dresses and showing them off to me.
“Whatever you wear becomes you, Psyche.”
Among all the people I had ever seen, Psyche was the most perfect clothes hanger. Long legs, a slender frame—anything looked good on her.
“Hyde.”
At my sincere praise she furrowed her brow ever so slightly.
Had the compliment not pleased her?
I was just steeling myself to deliver a five-minute oration on her beauty when Psyche parted her lips first.
“Hyde, I am not your young lady. I am your wife. Stop addressing me as if I were some lofty noble. We sleep in the same bed. We’re family, aren’t we?”
Ah.
So calling her “young lady” had been the problem.
Perhaps it made her feel like a stranger.
We had been married three whole days and still had not so much as brushed fingertips; maybe that distance was weighing on her.
“Psyche.”
I spoke her name without any title at all.
It felt terribly awkward and unfamiliar.
Was this how lovers felt when they first decided on nicknames or pet names for each other?
Psyche’s face flushed crimson and she covered it with both palms.
“It’s even more embarrassing than I expected!”
“Shall I go back to calling you young lady, then?”
“No, you don’t have to! Because, Hyde—you and I are husband and wife.”
Her words lifted my spirits.
Yes. I was Psyche’s husband, and Psyche was my wife.
That fact alone was enough.
Beside us, a maid who had been folding blankets snorted under her breath. “Hmph. Still far too good for the likes of him.”
Quite a few of Psyche’s maids still seemed less than thrilled with me.
What was this one’s name again—Dorna? While I was still thinking, Psyche spoke.
“Hyde, shall we go for a walk again today? I’d like to show you the territory’s market.”
Bright, warm summer weather.
Psyche adored walking. Her daily routine had once consisted of touring the territory, looking over people’s faces, and greeting them.
I shook my head.
“I have no time for a walk today.”
“Why not? Hyde… was walking with me not enjoyable?”
A worried look crossed her face. Because she was so beautiful, every expression came alive; my own chest stirred for no good reason.
Walking with Psyche was not boring.
Quite the opposite—it was fun.
Even if I did nothing but watch her look at flowers or birds, a smile would simply form on my lips.
That was how powerful a beauty could be.
“Psyche, today I intend to look over the church of the Agarpe territory. Priest Mana’an is in a coma and every assistant priest is dead; someone has to tend the church.”
“Ah—you’re right. Hyde, you once said your dream was to revive the church and expand it into a great cathedral, didn’t you? I think that’s a wonderful dream. I’ll help with all my heart!”
Building a pioneer church and turning it into a massive megachurch.
Any man who dreamed of becoming a pastor had fantasized about that at least once—the ultimate wannabe goal.
And Psyche said she would help me chase that dream with everything she had.
Fine.
So what if husband and wife still hadn’t touched fingertips?
If our hearts were aligned and we helped each other toward the same horizon, that was love.
I really had done well to marry Psyche.
Then she added something more.
“But I heard a new priest in charge is arriving at the Agarpe church today. He should reach the territory before lunchtime.”
A newly appointed priest of charge?
Lunch.
I was eating when the territory grew noisy.
I stepped outside to see what was going on.
“Clear the road!”
“A distinguished guest approaches!”
Clank, clatter—
About twenty soldiers in chain mail were marching into the territory.
For a moment my brows twitched—was this war?—but the instant a familiar face appeared, my appetite vanished.
“Beloved brothers and sisters, from this hour forward I am the newly appointed priest in charge of the Agarpe territorial church—Oscar Archibold!”
Silver-badge Bishop Oscar Archibold.
A silver-badge priest who could have swaggered as bishop of any decent city was coming to serve as parish priest of a fading territory?
And it was not only Oscar.
“Make way!”
The man striding ahead of Oscar and barking orders at the crowd wore silver plate armor and a mantle embroidered with a blue cross. His name was Loras.
Loras of the Holy Crusade.
And the one-eyed knight Baldwin.
Two bronze-badge knights in full plate, plus twenty chain-mailed soldiers. Enough force to trample a small village into dust and still have strength left over.
“Archibold bastards!”
Count Doban gripped the terrace railing with both hands.
Creak—
The wood of the railing groaned and cracked as he muttered in low fury.
“Those Archibold dogs used the church as an excuse to bring troops after all!”
The Archibold soldiers now poured unhindered into the manor gardens. The peaceful day was suddenly filled with the tramp of boots—
“Count Doban, it is an honor to meet you.”
Oscar Archibold, long-haired like a pretty boy, entered the guest parlor of the manor and bowed with elegant, refined grace.
Count Doban’s face was thunderous.
“Sir Oscar, have you not brought far too many Archibold soldiers? The people of the territory are fretting that war has broken out.”
“My apologies. Yet the previous priest of charge, Mana’an, was left in a wretched state by heretics inside the territory itself. With only the Agarpe soldiers, maintaining public order would—”
“Hmph.”
When Doban could no longer contain his anger, Oscar merely smiled with easy composure.
“My lord Count, the soldiers of the Holy Crusade are the Lord’s own sword prepared for the faithful. From this day they will devote themselves wholly to the security of the Agarpe territory. Set your mind at ease.”
That much was true.
Soldiers and knights of the Holy Crusade belonged to the community called the Church, yet they were forces meant for all people.
Of course that ideal would not be honored for another five years.
Still, the boy’s excuse was neat.
“Oscar Archibold. You who had Mana’an ambushed in the basest fashion now use that same Mana’an as a pretext to lead soldiers into Agarpe territory. How ridiculous you look.”
I spoke a single line.
Beside us, Loras—who had been inspecting a parlor flowerpot—flared up.
“A mere live-in son-in-law dares spout such insolence to His Grace the Bishop? That Oscar ambushed Mana’an? Do you not realize your slander could endanger all of Agarpe?”
Shing—
He looked ready to draw the sword at his hip that very instant.
This bastard Loras had become a complete Archibold man in the few days I had been enjoying my honeymoon.
Yet Loras also had a point.
I was no longer a street wild man or wandering priest; I was a man of Agarpe.
With more to lose and more to answer for, I could no longer flap my mouth as freely as before.
“Well, it was merely a thought—perhaps it could have been so. But seeing you flare up like that only stirs the imagination further.”
I smiled faintly.
Oscar Archibold answered with a most generous smile of his own.
“Was it not already established that the attack on Priest Mana’an was the work of the Crescent Moon Sisterhood? A crescent-moon pattern drawn in blood was found at the scene.”
That was true.
But forgery of that sort was easy enough.
Oscar clenched his fist and raised his voice.
“To dare enter the territory of a storied count’s house and murder a priest at will! The Crescent Moon Sisterhood! We cannot simply watch their outrages! My lord Count, let us drive them out together!”
“Hmph. You say that, yet you mean to stand by and watch again, do you not? We requested support to drive out the heretics, and has the Durgien church ever answered? Only our soldiers will die.”
Count Doban was clearly not holding his title for show. He also seemed to have suffered more than once from Archibold schemes that cost him troops and gold.
Oscar did not yield.
“Durgien is a vast land. Even my father cannot attend to every corner. But this time is different. Proof of that is Sir Loras standing with us, is it not?”
“What proof is it that this Loras has shown his face before me?”
“Sir Loras is a native of Durgien, second to none in skill, and thoroughly familiar with the local geography. No one will cut down the Crescent Moon Sisterhood more bravely than he.”
Oh-ho, cleverly done.
Oscar Archibold’s idea?
No—Archbishop Archibold’s strategy, no doubt.
Truly the man who had stood at the vanguard of the Church in its war against the royal house and crushed the royal armies without mercy.
When I was still known by the infamous name of the cultist Rust, the greatest obstacle to invading the royal capital had also been Archbishop Archibold.
My great adversary of five years past.
How would this life turn out?
A welcome banquet was held in the Agarpe territory to celebrate Priest Oscar’s inauguration.
The soldiers he had brought ate and drank such enormous quantities that the expense alone was painful to watch.
I almost wondered whether the Archibold dogs had flooded Agarpe with troops simply to bleed the territory’s finances dry with food costs.
Shameless Loras appeared with a wine cup and spoke to Psyche beside me.
“Psyche, marriage has made you even more beautiful. I always thought you would never marry. You swore to keep your chastity for life, after all. Yet here you are married. What of that vow?”
His words carried a sly mockery—something like, You decided to be a chastity fanatic and then got married?
Psyche smiled gently.
“I am still keeping that vow. Together with my husband Hyde. If I may be so bold, there is no man in the world more devout than my husband Hyde.”
“You’re keeping a vow of chastity even after marriage?”
Loras’s expression went through a dazzling series of changes.
His face flushed as though he had been insulted; then, as if sudden realization had struck, he burst into roaring laughter and began clapping his hands.
“Yes! That’s it! That’s exactly it! Splendid! Indeed, Lady Psyche has chosen a magnificent husband. Married for days already and still a virgin!”
This bastard Loras.
Laughing himself to death.
I looked at him and said,
“Sir Loras, laughter is a good thing. Allow me to ‘bless’ you. May you continue to laugh yourself sick over the smallest things. May you laugh until you die.”
“Haha! Yes, thank you! Newlywed Hyde! Virgin Lady Psyche! What a splendid couple. There can’t be another pair like you in all of Durgien—no, in the entire kingdom. Hahaha!”
Loras laughed as though he might die of mirth.
He could not stop; he even drank water, yet the laughter kept exploding out of him.
“What a magnificent story! I want to tell Dihon too. Where is Dihon? He’s not even at the banquet. Dihon!”
Who was Dihon?
While I felt puzzled, Loras looked at me and curled his lip.
“What, you don’t even know who Dihon is? Dihon is Lady Psyche’s younger brother and the sole heir of House Agarpe. You’ve become the son-in-law and you’ve never even seen his face?”
I had known Psyche had a younger brother.
That his name was Dihon was news to me.
Loras lowered his voice so only I could hear.
“Never even held the lady’s hand, never seen the face of the count’s heir and your own brother-in-law. Sir Hyde, it seems you are not quite accepted as family yet.”
That was true enough.
The only ones who treated me as family were the count and countess and Psyche herself.
Beyond them, the vast manor’s servants and maids ignored me and often cursed me behind my back.
Was that why I had never seen the younger brother’s face until now?
When I stayed silent, Loras—clearly delighted by his intellectual superiority—rattled on about things no one had asked.
“Do you know why Lady Psyche swore a vow of chastity? Because of her brother Dihon. You’ve become the son-in-law and you haven’t even heard that? Lady, do you truly love this man? Haha!”
“Sir Loras! If you say one more rude word about my husband I will slap you! I mean it! And stop laughing this instant! This is a warning!”
“Haha! I can’t stop laugh—”
“Loras! An insult to my husband Hyde is an insult to me, Psyche, and an insult to House Agarpe itself—yet you seem not to know it!”
CRACK!!!!
A tremendous sound rang out and Loras toppled flat onto the floor.
“Guek! Uheok!?”
His face, sprawled on the ground, swelled bright red in an instant—which was only natural.
Psyche was strong enough to swing a greatsword the size of her own body as if it were a pair of chopsticks.
A slap from her would hurt as much as a full-swing volleyball spike to the cheek.
If it had been me I would have died.
Even so, Loras could not stop laughing.
“Hahat! The laughter won’t stop. Is it because it’s too funny!? What on earth is this laughter—why—”
“Anyone! Drag this insolent man out of here at once! Quickly!”
While Psyche raged at Loras, I quietly turned over the words he had blurted out.
Psyche had sworn a vow of chastity because of her younger brother?
That was the sense of déjà vu I had felt when I first heard of her vow!
Then if I solved that problem…?
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Even Loras’s useless mouth could be helpful sometimes.
Before facing external enemies, I decided it would be best to set the household in order first.
And I would give Loras a little token of thanks for the help he had provided my plan.
“Sir Loras, the laughter on that handsome face is a pleasant sight. But excess of anything brings trouble. If you wish the laughter to stop, try chewing a castor-oil seed. The poison is lethally strong, yet it should be excellent for stopping laughter. You might die, of course.”
With that I walked away.
Younger brother Dihon!
I was going to meet the boy!