Chapter 29
Chapter 29
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Romance Comedy Action Philosophy
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It felt like I was deep underwater.
Like I was in a dark place where I couldn't swim up alone.
Just as the thought crossed my mind that I might not wake up if I stayed like this by myself—
"...Wake up!"
"...I said wake up!!"
"Hey!"
"Hngh!"
Something shook my shoulders violently, jolting me awake.
Song Arin was gripping both my shoulders, shaking me desperately.
Our eyes met as she stared at me with a look of utter desperation.
"Why are you making such a fuss? You know it's fine even if I die once."
"Then why did you ask if I was okay when I woke up?"
"I didn't shake your shoulders."
"You're seriously not holding back even a single word, are you?"
"Well, you know I'm older, right?"
"Ugh."
Song Arin smacked my shoulder with an irritated expression.
"What about the people?"
"...Don't freak out when you hear this."
Just like that, her irritated look vanished, replaced by a joyful smile as she gazed at me.
"Not a single one died."
"Oh!"
So our efforts had paid off after all.
I raised my hand for a high-five, and Song Arin slapped her palm against mine.
Clap! The sound echoed through the quiet theater.
Realizing what she'd done, Song Arin cleared her throat awkwardly and turned her head away.
Soon, she sneaked a glance back at me with just her eyes and asked,
"...You okay?"
"What?"
"Did it hurt or anything?"
"Oh."
I recalled the Red Lady.
Sure enough, no memories came to mind.
But I remembered exactly what I'd done.
I pulled the manual from my pocket.
Let's see, Red Lady... Red Lady...
As if granting my wish, the manual flipped open, revealing a new page.
[Office Manual]
[PRV - Containment Object 'Red Lady' - Record by HR Team's Kim Jaeheon]
[This entity is one of the characters from the musical 'Red Lady' and cannot be countered by conventional means. However, due to the nature of the musical, it can be neutralized by changing the genre.]
[Note: This is a musical-type object, likely disseminated by the emerging troupe with high probability!]
[First Discoverer - HR Team's Kim Jaeheon]
Below it was a sketch of the Red Lady's face.
I'm the first discoverer?
How unlucky can you get?
I searched for more info, but there was nothing else.
It was just the entry I'd made, with a few annotations added.
Who added those notes, anyway?
Just remembering her face was something to be grateful for.
...
Maybe there's a next page.
'Don't forget. That manual is a collection of your seniors' hard-earned experience and data.'
Maybe I could find useful info on other containment objects.
Senior, if you're watching, give me strength!
I prayed to my unknown senior and flipped to the next page, but instead of info, there was just one sentence in the middle of a blank page.
[Access to containment object information is restricted by Management Bureau security unless it is the appropriate time.]
The seniors had tried, but it didn't help me much.
"How did you write that?"
Song Arin, who had sidled up beside me to peek at the manual, stared at me in surprise.
"This? Just a feeling? Instinct?"
I didn't know how to explain it, but that was exactly right.
It was like a sensation that now was the time to write it. Nothing else fit.
Song Arin's expression turned serious as she blurted out,
"You've got talent."
"Huh?"
"You inscribed it. Not just anyone can do that."
If not everyone can inscribe, then who does?
Seeming to read my face, Song Arin sighed and began explaining.
"Any Management Bureau employee can view manual info. Provided the conditions are met, that is."
"Yeah."
"But inscription isn't for just anyone."
"...Yeah."
This feels ominous.
"Inscription requires approval from the Management Bureau... well, uh... something. Anyway, it's beyond your common sense. You need its recognition to inscribe."
"...Is getting that recognition usually for the Containment Team or something?"
"Oh, how'd you guess? Not everyone, but they're the Management Bureau's specialists, so most Containment Team members have the inscription talent."
I knew it.
I'm seriously getting transferred to Containment at this rate.
"Keep this a secret, please."
"What, scared someone'll drag you off?"
"You know it. Stay quiet."
"I wouldn't normally."
Song Arin sighed and crossed her arms.
"But I owe you my life once, so I'll let it slide."
"Then can you do it too, Arin?"
"Nope."
She answered matter-of-factly.
"Why not?"
"What can I do if I can't?"
So confident.
"Anyway, you must have some good ideas, right?"
"I do."
I answered her question with confidence.
"It said change the genre. How're you planning to do that?"
"All of them."
"What?"
"I'll try everything."
Song Arin's face scrunched up.
"Hey, is that even changing the genre? It'll just be a mess."
"Exactly."
That's my goal from the start.
What's the problem with horror?
Everything mixes too well.
Romance? A couple sharing love before dying is a cliché of clichés.
Action? Chainsaws slicing people is action too.
Comedy? Honestly, not confident there.
Conclusion: Change genres to wreck the script.
But do I need to pick just one like romance, action, or comedy?
Just do them all.
"What if the Red Lady keeps getting scarier?"
"If the mood tanks, no horror movie matters."
I once dug through the internet and found a movie like that. A horror flick where tomatoes develop murderous intent toward humans.
People screaming with a tomato on their stomach—couldn't get it with my sensibilities.
...
Song Arin stared at me before sighing.
"Fine. Can't argue with that, so I'll go along this time too."
"If you've got better ideas, spit 'em out quick."
I'm always ready for better ones.
"Nope."
"Then let's go."
[2 Minutes Until Break Ends.]
Song Arin gripped the armrest tensely, then looked at me.
"But even if we can look straight at the Red Lady, how do we kill her? We can't even bring guns."
"There's a way."
I eyed the [Critical: 1] on the semitransparent window.
Ways abound.
[1 Minute Until Break Ends.]
"...Hey."
"Yeah."
Song Arin, who'd been quiet, looked at me again.
With a tense expression, she opened her mouth.
"I trust you."
"Yes, trust me."
[Break ending.]
My vision went black.
*
I opened my eyes in the ruined city.
"Argh, dust everywhere."
Song Arin grumbled beside me, brushing off her clothes.
Gray ash fell from her body.
"So. What now?"
"Come here first."
She trotted over at my words.
She's so obedient like this.
I hooked my arm through hers.
Song Arin's body stiffened.
"W-What're you doing?"
"Romance."
"D-Do we have to start with romance...?"
"If you want action, gags, or philosophy first, say so. Throw out a topic quick."
...
Song Arin grimaced and tightened her hooked arm.
"I'm thinking, so just walk for now."
"Can't just walk. Gotta talk."
"What kinda talk? Lovey-dovey stuff?"
"Then it'd actually become romance. Something far from romance."
"You're insane."
"Why can't immortals with regeneration break down alcohol fast?"
"Probably faking drunk. Didn't wanna beg you to take her home?"
"She puked on my clothes."
"Ew."
Arm-in-arm with Song Arin, we chatted as we walked.
"That white-haired lady seemed like she'd suck at drinking. Girls like that can't hold liquor, right?"
"First time seeing someone down five bottles of soju without changing color."
"...HR Team folks are weird."
The scene shifted.
Now a nighttime park.
People walked by, glancing at us.
Different vibe from before.
I unhooked my arm from Song Arin and jogged in place.
Whoosh whoosh, punching the air with sound effects.
"...What's this time?"
"Romance action."
"Ugh, hate it."
Grumbling like it creeped her out, but Song Arin jogged in place too.
Swish swish, throwing air punches.
I held up my open palm in front of her fist, like a boxer sparring with a coach.
"Like any food?"
"Sundae gukbap."
"Old-man taste?"
"You?"
"Pizza."
"Kid stuff?"
Song Arin smacked my fist as she answered.
Thud, thud. Each hit, I fired another question.
"Ideal type?"
"A guy I click with. You?"
"Hmm."
"What, secret?"
Thwack!
Song Arin slammed my hand hard.
"Ow, that hurts. No... pretty girl?"
"Superficial."
"Don't like handsome guys?"
"I do. Just won't say it out loud."
Thud, thud!
Song Arin kept smacking my hand.
Now the whole park's crowd stood staring at us.
Heard somewhere that saying "This is a dream" in a dream makes everyone stare.
We're already irregularities among the cast.
"...This working right?"
"Yeah."
Song Arin asked in an anxious voice while hitting my hand, and I answered quietly.
People kept staring,
and the background changed again.
Now smack in a crowded city square.
From the start, everyone in the city stared at us.
"...What's next."
Song Arin eyed me anxiously.
"Next..."
Step, step.
Footsteps approached.
I took both her hands and met her eyes.
"Think of a good finale."
"Uh, huh?"
"What's the best for an ending?"
"Ending?"
Romance comedy, action romance.
One more would do it.
"What this finale needs."
Song Arin rolled her eyes.
Step, step.
What to do? Philosophy? Management Bureau?
Think genres.
"Damn it... just do it, do it!"
Suddenly Song Arin yelled, stood on tiptoe, pressed her lips to my cheek, then pulled away.
...?
Face red, Song Arin shouted.
"Isn't this what you wanted?!"
Not exactly what I wanted.
I turned toward the footsteps.
Red dress, brightly smiling lips.
And still that invisible face above.
A semitransparent window popped up.
[Name: Red Lady]
[Age: Manufactured 3 months ago]
[Specialty: -]
[Talent: Reality Interference]
[Background: This entity is part of a play, but also its most crucial part. Depending on your response, it could become an immortal god or a heroic tale's sacrificial lamb.]
[Weakness: You already know it.]
I turned to face it, clenching my fist.
Time to really go home now.