Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Childhood (3)
“What are you talking about?”
It felt like a bolt from a clear sky.
If he had known that accepting holy water meant she had to become a Saint, he would have thrown his arm into the sewage without hesitation.
“Ain, we can go up to the surface together! This is a chance for both of us!”
Amyu took a breath and continued.
“It can save you too! We can go up together!”
They couldn’t go to the surface.
He didn’t want to go to the surface either.
The higher you climbed, the greater the pain of falling.
“The Holy Kingdom! It’s the Holy Kingdom! And I’m a Saint candidate! If I say it right, we might even get into an academy together!”
What was Amyuklia trying to reach for?
Just to fall.
Fall.
Yes. Fall.
“We can’t go to the surface, Amyuklia!”
He never wanted to fall again.
“W-why are you suddenly yelling!”
“Don’t you like living here? Why are you so desperate to go up there? Why!”
“Ain, it’s tomorrow.”
“What?”
Her face showed only an intense longing to rise upward.
“I’ve been chosen by the Heavenly God. I can go up. The Hero and the Holy Kingdom’s knights are coming to take me.”
“So what—”
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance, Ain. I don’t want to stay in this filthy pit anymore.”
Amyu closed her eyes for a moment.
“They said I can bring one person with me. Just one.”
Her expression turned coldly calm.
“Why do you want to stay here? Don’t you want to see sunlight again? You weren’t born in this place, were you? You weren’t!”
“Stop.”
After being abandoned here, he had never dared to dream of the surface.
“Actually, you want to go with me—”
“Stop it.”
He didn’t want to hear it anymore.
Not just that.
‘Heinkel is listening.’
He could feel it.
“Then I’ll fall again. For someone like me, this place with nowhere left to fall is the most fitting.”
“You… weren’t we supposed to dream of the future together?”
“If that future means the surface…”
He had never imagined this day would come.
“I’m just afraid.”
“So even if I leave with the Hero, you’re fine with that?”
Anyone could see Amyuklia didn’t belong in this underground city.
And with that Hero, even Heinkel wouldn’t be able to stop her.
“Fine. Go then. If you want to go that badly.”
“…You’re awful.”
Amyu slowly got off the bed.
Even as she walked toward the door, she kept looking back.
Bang.
The door closed, and he could hear her sobbing on the other side.
“…Yeah. Stay close until that great Hero arrives.”
So Heinkel could protect you from me.
“Oh, you’re here. Try moving your arm.”
After being discharged, Ain immediately went to Heinkel’s office.
“Is it fine?”
“Yes.”
The holy water’s effect was absurdly powerful.
His arm felt as if it had never been cut off.
“Good. You know you’ve got work piled up.”
“I was gone… for a few days.”
Even though his sense of smell had long been gone, the office felt filled with the stench of blood.
The underground city’s ruling gang.
And himself, their hunting dog, killing people like it was routine.
‘Filth.’
Yes. He was buried in filth.
“There’s something you need to do first.”
Heinkel leaned back, rubbing his forehead.
“When is your daughter leaving?”
“Amyuklia leaves tomorrow.”
“Right. Tomorrow. Counting the days we were unconscious, that’s about a week of leeway.”
Heinkel pulled something from his desk and tossed a dagger to Ain.
“Go see her off.”
“…Heinkel?”
The meaning was obvious.
“Ain. Do you know why the Holy Kingdom gave us a week?”
“….”
“That time isn’t for your daughter. It’s for themselves.”
He didn’t fully understand.
Why would that time belong to them?
“Tomorrow, the Holy Kingdom will come here with an army.”
“Why? How do you know that?”
“I was a knight once. I know what ‘Saint’ means. If it’s revealed she came from a place like this… and that she was beside—”
He pointed at Ain.
“You.”
“That would be a problem.”
“Are they trying to erase Amyu’s past?”
“Exactly.”
Heinkel’s voice was merciless.
“Honestly, I feel bad, but it can’t be helped. Kill her. Don’t leave any reason for the Holy Kingdom to wipe this place out.”
“She’s already a Saint candidate. Even if she dies, I doubt they’ll forgive us.”
Heinkel smiled faintly.
“Clean it up properly.”
Ain walked out of the office as if pushed out.
He finally understood what “seeing her off” meant.
Tonight, he had to cut a flower.
When he returned home, only soft breathing filled the room.
A bed barely big enough for two.
Amyu was asleep on it.
“….”
Ain approached quietly, hiding the dagger behind his back.
Heinkel had been unusually kind.
He had coated the blade with poison.
It would end her life without prolonged suffering.
Ain gently brushed her hair aside and looked at her.
His true world filled with color.
Amyuklia.
“Amyu.”
Even when he called her name, she didn’t respond.
Tomorrow she would leave for the Holy Kingdom as a Saint, blessed by all.
Even if holy knights tore through the city, even if the Hero cut off his arm again—
Even if he had to do anything, he couldn’t stop her now.
She had already decided.
And he had no right to chain her down for his own desire.
“…Ain?”
She rubbed her eyes and sat up.
“When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
“Come here. Let’s sleep together.”
She yawned softly and leaned against him.
Ain hesitated, then placed a hand on her head.
‘Heinkel asked me what I wanted.’
To stay with Amyuklia forever.
That was all.
“Amyu.”
“Tell me you love me.”
“….”
“Like it’s the last time.”
Amyuklia no longer spoke of tomorrow.
“Hurry, Ain.”
That truth hurt more than anything.
But he had to accept it.
He had to let her go.
“I love you.”
Clink.
The dagger he had hidden fell to the floor.
Thud.
Ain collapsed to his knees.
Amyu pulled his face into her arms, her shadow wrapping around him warmly.
“I love you. Always, Ain.”
Yes.
From the beginning, he could never kill her.
“You’re afraid, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I understand. Do you still want to go with me? Absolutely not?”
“Sorry, Amyu. I…”
“Shh.”
She pulled back slightly and placed a finger on his lips.
“If I don’t go… would you be happy?”
Ain nodded.
“How happy?”
“….”
“The happiest in the world? So happy it would never end?”
He nodded again.
“Then…”
Ssshhh—
A faint coldness spread through the air.
Cold. Yes, cold.
From the moment he met her, he had always felt something strange.
A girl who could use magic, who shone so brightly even in his colorless world—why had she stayed by his side?
“Ain, I’ll do what you want.”
She picked up the dagger.
“Because your happiness is what I’ve always wished for.”
“Again.”
“Again…”
“I love you, Ain. I mean it.”
The higher you go, the harder you fall.
And if, just if…
Everything Amyu had shown him was a lie—
What would that cost?
Amyuklia fell asleep again.
Ain left the house.
His destination was already decided.
The pit at the edge of the underground city.
The place where executions always ended.
“….”
He looked down into it.
One step.
Just one step, and death was certain.
Was there meaning in that death?
“No meaning.”
Nothing had meaning.
Everything was empty, colorless, black and white.
His gray mana always surfaced when he felt like this.
But—
“Do you know what gray mana means?”
“…Amyu.”
She stood behind him.
“You should stay still.”
The atmosphere had changed.
Something was off.
Amyuklia was not the same.
“Mana changes depending on what you believe in. Yours is the Heavenly God of ‘Void.’”
“What are you saying?”
“That is an evil god. It shouldn’t exist.”
Cold mana poured from Amyu.
“In the Holy Kingdom, I learned my origin is ‘Love.’ And it’s true.”
She touched her chest.
“I will become a Saint. A radiant Saint under the sun. To do that, I must erase my past.”
“…Erase your past?”
“If people knew I came from this filth… or that I lived beside a killer like you…”
“You’re going to kill me?”
His hand moved to his sword.
“What are you even—”
“Think carefully.”
The cold intensified.
“You’ll understand.”
She stepped closer.
“It’s simple.”
Her breath froze in the air.
“I’ll erase the past. You are part of it now.”
“…You…”
“Who am I, Ain?”
Her hand pressed against his chest.
“I am your lover. The one and only.”
And then—
She pushed him into the pit.
“A—”
He fell.
Endlessly downward.
“Amyuuuuu!!!”
He reached for her.
Her colors began to fade.
Everything she was—hair, eyes, skin, even presence—vanished.
“AMYU!!!”
He grabbed at her desperately, but she slipped away.
“…You failed.”
The last remaining color disappeared.
“Failed to overcome Void.”
“…what?”
“Unfortunate.”
Thud.
He hit the bottom.
Time changes everything.
Even us.
Forever, always.
There is no such thing.
—Ain, I learned my origin is ‘Love.’
Then everything broke.
And he understood nothing remained.
‘Why am I alive?’
He should have died.
But he didn’t.
Void.
Gray mana. The Heavenly God of Void.
If he survived this…
Then maybe he was chosen by that god.
‘Everything is… empty.’
He lost consciousness again and again.
When he finally opened his eyes—
“….”
Something remained in his mind.
—A pretty good excuse.
‘Excuse?’
Ain broke the sword beside him in two.
—The one and only lover…
‘What does that even mean?’
Amyu had been lying.
That was the only conclusion.
—The one and only lover.
The moment she pushed him, she hesitated.
Clang!
Bleeding, he grabbed the blade and drove it into the wall, climbing up.
“Amyu.”
He couldn’t die here.
“Amyu.”
No.
“Wait for me, Amyuklia.”
He would find out.
Why she did this.