Chapter 8
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: Monster Between Heaven and Earth
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"Is it today?"
"Yes, young master. While you were at the school, I snuck over and confirmed the merchant guild folks going into the house."
"Ah.... I don't wanna go."
The first day of the next month.
The day had finally come.
I trudged home feeling like a calf being dragged to the slaughterhouse.
Damn it. Sure, I'm only five now, but adding my past life's age, I'll be thirty in no time.
A thirty-year-old man in a five-year-old body, bawling and getting my butt whooped.
Thinking of the catastrophe ahead, I let out an involuntary sigh.
"Sigh."
"Young master, I heard somewhere that if a person sins, they gotta take the punishment—that's the way of the world. Eating two sacks of rice and getting a few swats on the butt? Honestly, that's coming out ahead. So stop sighing and hurry up to take your punishment."
"Thanks for the advice, Dori."
Dori snarking at my side was seriously annoying, but sadly, he wasn't wrong.
A five-year-old kid steals five million nyang from the family and buys a Transforming Robot Mini Special Forces team to play with behind his parents' backs—who wouldn't grab a stick?
At least our parents are yangban nobles; in my past life, I'd have had a limb broken.
"No helping it, huh."
Right! Think positive!
The ancient sages said it's better to take the beating first.
Not just any beating, but a preventive shot guaranteeing a comfy life ahead—worth clenching my eyes shut and enduring for one day.
Steeling myself like that, as I reached the slaughterhouse, a small voice called out from nearby.
"Young master! Heo Gyun, young master! Over here!"
"Huh? Uncle Haksae?"
Uncle Haksae waved from the end of the slaughterhouse wall. I dashed over, and he asked with a pale face.
"Young master, what the heck did you do?"
"Er.... things look pretty bad?"
"It's not bad so much as... weird. Freaky. I've worked in this house over twenty years, and I've never seen anything like it."
Just how bad is it?
To get more details, I pressed Uncle Haksae.
"What exactly? Tell me from the beginning, step by step."
"Well.... When the merchant guild first arrived, the master was furious."
Grabbed the guild head by the collar and bellowed so loud the house shook, apparently.
Startled by the noise, he rushed to the courtyard and saw all the guild's cargo unpacked.
Hmm, overturning the cargo means he's even angrier than I imagined.
Wonder if a butt-whooping will end it.
"The problem came after."
"Huh? What's more?"
"Yes, after sitting on the grand porch fuming for a while, the master suddenly called for Aunt Eonyeon to bring drinking trays."
"Er.... Father drinking in the daytime?"
This ain't good.
Who is our father?
Heo Yeop, the famed vanguard of the new scholars, pinnacle of court decorum, kin of Goryeo's prime ministers.
A man who always stressed family dignity and propriety, setting the example himself—chugging booze in broad daylight where the servants could see?
His heart must be that wounded.
"Young master, the daytime drinking isn't the issue."
"W-What else?!"
"Yes, they brought the trays to his room, and he was waiting for something, but then cries came from the master's room."
"Crying?! Our father?!!"
Oh no, my head was in the clouds.
This ain't ending with a few swats.
How furious must he be to lose a yangban's dignity and shed tears at his age?
I'm screwed for real.
"That's not the end!"
"You bastard!! There's more?!"
"Yes, after crying for a long while, he suddenly burst out laughing loud enough to shake the room."
"Aigoo, Uncle Haksae. What does that even mean? I'm scared."
"Cried... then laughed...?"
Uncle Haksae was right.
This isn't just good or bad vibes.
It's weird. Freaky.
Betrayal and rage toward his son drove him out of his mind.
What do I do?
"The master's state was so bizarre, Big Brother and Little Brother rushed off to fetch a physician, and Big Madam and Little Madam are taking turns guarding his door."
"... Yeah. Uncle Haksae. What do I do?"
"What do you do? I don't know what you did, but grovel till your hands and feet go numb. First time I've seen this, so that's all I got."
"Ha...."
I stared blankly at the slaughterhouse wall.
A chill seeped through the wall, prickling my skin.
"Gyun, what on earth did you do? Why is Father acting like that?"
"Er.... Mother. It's...."
No brushing this off lightly.
After hearing the full story from Uncle Haksae, I bolted straight to Father's quarters.
Mother stood guard out front, face full of worry, and must've overheard us, because a reaper's voice boomed from inside.
"Is Gyun here?"
"Eek."
Creeeak.
Father emerged, opening the door with a frosty voice. His face flushed with drink, eyes puffy from laughing and crying—unlike any Father I'd seen in five years.
"Come here at once."
"Yes...."
No excuses or nonsense would fly here.
Beg. Beg till my hands and feet give out if I wanna live.
I rushed forward and dropped to my knees. Father, watching impassively, held out the book in his hand and asked.
"Did you write this book?"
"... Er.... Well."
"I'll ask again. Did you truly write this book?"
"... Yes."
"Hmph!!"
Father gasped loudly, hand flashing up.
Not the butt— the cheek, huh.
But Father, I'm five. Five years old—where on a little kid do you swing that pot-lid hand so high?
Eyes squeezed shut, bracing for pain, but the touch was different from expected.
Peeking, I saw Father's hand gently on my shoulder.
He patted it several times, sighed deeply, and said.
"Hoo.... I get your point fully."
"Huh? What do you...."
"Heh, playing innocent? You're asking if you can tell me something by writing this book."
"No, it's.... kinda, yeah.... sorta."
"Kukuku, knew it. Father understands, so that's that. Ah! But remember this: misusing family funds is something to deeply regret. A child buying two sacks of rice so fearlessly!!"
"Ah! Yes! Sorry! I'm repenting!"
Development not what I expected—I'm dumbfounded.
Is this really it?
Forgiving a wayward son who swiped two sacks of rice—not pocket change—with one sigh?
Even understanding my intent to slack off?
Ahh, Father is the reincarnation of Jesus, Buddha, and Confucius.
No, not the time. I bowed deeply in infinite gratitude.
"Th-Thank you. Father."
Seeing that, Father said.
"Good, that's settled. You've worked hard studying, Gyun—go rest. And wife, come inside a moment. I have words for you."
"Master, what in the world? What's this book? And two sacks of rice? And your behavior today!"
Lady Kim grabbed Heo Yeop's arm as she entered the quarters.
She'd fretted all day, fearing he'd drop dead and leave her a widow.
Instead of answering, Heo Yeop handed her the book.
"Heh, take a look at this. Our youngest stole two sacks of family rice to write it himself."
"What? Gyun's barely five—how could a child write a book?"
Familiar reaction.
Reminding him of his own hours ago, Heo Yeop chuckled heartily and explained everything. Lady Kim's face flushed red and purple as she listened.
"I'll break that brat's legs right now. Two sacks of rice!! For midday pulp fiction!! Aigoo!! I raised him wrong. Master!!"
"Don't—read the book first. Scold after, that's proper order."
"... Hoo, alright. Master."
Seated, Lady Kim slowly read the handed Culinary Duel: Jang Geum.
Moments later, a tear welled in her eye.
"Such.... slave and yangban! Daughter and parents!! How such moving saga!!!"
"What's this 'culinary duel' anyway? Gourmet Unicorn? Giraffe of tasty food?"
"Heh, competition style's bizarre. Jirisan Chilsun Valley's country soup, huh. Wanna try it someday."
"Look at these shameless rogues. Rigging ingredient draws wasn't enough—drugging a woman?!"
"Gasp.... Stepmother!! I trusted her!!"
"Hahat, fool. Couldn't make roast with prime tenderloin and got eliminated. That Golden Fried Chicken? Wonder what it tastes like."
Reading on, Lady Kim wailed at the last page.
"Next volume!!!"
Yeah, yeah. I get it.
Heo Yeop, watching her reactions, smiled kindly and said.
"So, what do you think?"
"Master.... This...."
Unable to continue, to her he voiced the thought in his heart.
"Seems we were wrong. Just parental greed, after all."
"Master! But!"
When Heo Gyun was born.
The Heo elders gathered and hatched a plan.
Court politics chaotic as ever—one son must stay home, become the pillar, forgo success.
Heo Seong already grown and official, Heo Bong matching him and poised to rise.
Only one boy left.
"Thought after seeing Gyun leisurely in Gangneung, it was fine...."
Thus Heo Yeop hadn't pushed studies on Heo Gyun.
To avoid illiteracy unfit for yangban, late he assigned a tutor, observed classes with mild cheers—but compared to siblings learning from ages two or three, support was lacking.
"Was he hiding his true feelings?"
"No. Innate talent."
Yet he proved himself.
Culinary Duel: Jang Geum.
Could a five-year-old ponder and produce this? Impossible. Born with it. The world calls such geniuses.
Finishing the thought, their eyes met.
"Then you'll send him out."
"Must. More than that, even."
Heo Yeop bellowed outside.
"Haksae out there? Come in now."
"Yes, Master!"
To kneeling Haksae in the quarters, Heo Yeop commanded.
"Dawn tomorrow, go to the guild—buy blank paper and scribes. Thousand sheets paper, ten scribes."
"That much?"
"Labor-intensive, but no choice. Decided to launch him—time to prepare."
Time to tell the world.
The monster between heaven and earth to lead Joseon is in the Heo house.
"Pueongchwi!!"
Eh, why's it cold?
Sensing an eerie chill rising, Heo Gyun shivered unwittingly.