Saintess and Maid. And the Stick.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Something fell onto the tip of my nose. It was cold. What the hell was this cold? Unpleasant sensation made me crack my eyes open just a bit… No, I didn't. Instead, something soft and springy brushed against me. Instinct kicked in. This is a thigh. A super soft one, at that. Opening my eyes now would be a total loss. With that thought, I nuzzled in a little more. Now was the time or never. Just as I was groping the thigh fueled by pure lust—

"Get up."

"Ah, should I?"

The icy voice made me bolt upright. She knew. Damn, what a shame.

"Ah, unfamiliar ceiling."

I spouted nonsense and rubbed my eyes.

"Where is this?"

"…"

The woman who'd lent me her thigh stared at me in disbelief at my shamelessness. Iris Hailron. I ignored her look and thought to myself.

I'm alive.

Alive. I thought I'd die falling off that cliff, but I survived.

"The young lady saved me, right?"

"…"

The last voice I'd heard. That was definitely Iris Hailron, the grand duchess's daughter.

—Relax.

Oh. Fuck, sis is badass.

Orphan Ruin, 13. Might be the start of my first crush? I shoved the fluttering feelings aside and said,

"How'd I survive?"

"…There was a cave midway down the cliff. I stabbed my sword into the wall to slow the fall and got in."

"Mission Impossible territory."

"What?"

"Nah, just reminded me of someone I know."

Yeah, that dude hanging off a plane barehanded. Ignoring Tom Cruise for now, I turned to Iris.

"Thanks for saving me."

I bowed my head. Iris flinched at the sight.

"…No need. Just did what had to be done."

Surprised eyes. Why surprised?

"Anyway, how'd you spot me?"

When I fell away from the group. How'd she know to swoop in?

"…Just. I was taking a walk."

"A walk?"

What the hell? A walk? Was that her excuse? It was so absurd I was speechless.

"…"

She knew it too, averting her gaze slightly.

"Ahh. A walk."

"Y...yes."

"I see."

"…"

"…"

Conversation died. Iris cut it off on purpose. Didn't wanna talk? Typical tsundere hero type.

"Wh-what. Why stare like that?"

"'Cause you're pretty."

"What?"

"…Huh? Don't girls usually get a little fluttery from that?"

World-weary disdain on her face. Yep. She hates me.

"Enough nonsense. Not the time."

"Not total nonsense."

She was pretty, had to admit. Hopeless personality, but pretty. Just not the point right ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠now.

"Where's Eria?"

"Eria? You mean the maid?"

"Yeah."

"That girl's over there."

She pointed somewhere. In the cave corner, there was Eria. On her knees, hands clasped tight, mumbling something.

"Goddess… What should I do…? You didn't warn me about this. This is…"

"…"

Her praying looked seriously impure. Was she really a saintess? Well, kinda nice though.

Yeah. For starters.

That translucent angel hovering above. From her reaction earlier, denying she was the saintess would've been tough.

She's the saintess.

Eria was the saintess. So why was she here?

Right.

Why? I knew a saintess had appeared in the North. She went missing, and now she's a maid in this grand ducal house?

What a mess.

No plot twist could be messier. Was this how romance fantasy worlds rolled? Just going off the rails like this?

Odds of the saintess becoming my maid?

Lottery-level. Ignoring that for now.

"Eria."

"G-Goddess…"

"Eria."

"Eek?"

I approached and called her. She finally noticed, jumping back in shock.

"Ma-Mage…! Y-You're awake!"

"Yeah, awake… but…"

I glanced at the cave entrance. Looked like where Iris brought us in. And there—

—Whoosh.

"…"

A massive blizzard raged outside. Intense. The weather was super sensitive, like it was on its period or something.

"We're fucked."

Total shitshow. What was that snow? Never seen anything like it, even including my past life.

"…What the hell is this?"

"The season has come."

"Season?"

Iris approached, explaining.

"You don't know the season?"

"Nope."

"How does a Northerner not know?"

"You mocking me for being an orphan without common sense?"

"Wh-When did I…!"

"Gonna live oppressed by orphan trauma…!"

"No… That's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠not…"

Panicked Iris was cute. Ghostly with a sword, but cuter than expected. Tease enough?

"So, what's this season?"

"You really don't know?"

"Teasing orphan again—"

"The North gets snow every season…"

"Yeah."

Iris hurriedly explained. Snow every season? Not weird.

Isn't that the North?

Novels portrayed the North as a barren snow hell. Nothing surprising.

"The North's harshness comes from the Dragon Emperor's heart. The curse from the Demon King's Four Heavenly Kings brought these blizzards."

"Oh…?"

News to me. No such lore in the 60 chapters I read. Dragon Emperor? Dragon King? Kinda cringy name.

"Thus, snow falls yearly… but there's a time when the curse intensifies."

"That time?"

"The three days within the hundred days. Snow carries mana, eroding the world. Even monsters dare not move."

"…And that's now?"

That snow the cause? Ah, right.

That unnatural haze ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in the snow.

Energy making the world chaotic. The bizarre blizzard carried it.

That—

Eroding the world. Realizing that, I stared blankly at the energy.

Whoosh—

I watched the falling snow. Then.

Swoosh.

My hand reached out. Iris urgently blocked me.

"What are you doing!"

"Ah."

I snapped out. What was that just now?

"Yesterday it'd be fine, but now the snow carries the curse. Don't touch."

"…Curse? Don't get hit by snow?"

"Yes."

"But if the timing's exact, why search today…?"

"The season's early."

"Huh? Possible?"

Early? Really on her period…? Winter period seemed overkill.

"…Don't know. Never happened, but the sky shows it's early."

Snow carried curse. Aura-awakened Iris could sense it. Not see, but feel. Reason she was hailed as heaven-sent talent.

"So, can't go up now?"

If cursed, can't climb? Iris replied,

"…Can go."

Hesitant. "Wrap body in aura to pierce curse, but…"

"But?"

"…Can't in my state."

"Huh?"

She pointed to her abdomen.

There.

"Eh?"

Blood. Looking closer, cold sweat on her forehead.

"What? Young lady, you're hurt?"

"…No big deal."

"Blood says otherwise!"

Tried lifting her shirt, but—

Smack!

Iris slapped my hand.

"Ow!"

"Where you touching!"

"No! Not pervy intent!"

Sorry. 90% pervy. But 10% worry.

One drink.

Caught, I sheepishly backed off. Iris hurt was the issue. Bigger issue:

Why not heal?

Saintess. If Eria's saintess, why not heal ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Iris? On purpose? Glanced puzzled at Eria.

"…"

Eria looked bad. Guilt? Unease? Got it.

Her.

Can't heal now.

Totally incompetent state?

Saintess powerless. Trapped in cave. Snow raging, Iris injured.

"Oh. Fuck."

Truly fucked.

＊＊＊＊

About three hours into the fuckery, we stared outside wordlessly. Snow endless. No sign of stopping. Iris said three days.

Two days early means two more? Nah.

Dismissed the dogshit thought. Not bad. Cooped with two beauties, close together nice, but.

Situational.

Not crazy enough to call this good. Or am I? Nah, not now.

"G-Goddess… Wh-What to do…?"

Eria kept praying nonstop.

"…Calm down. There'll be a way."

Iris busy soothing her.

"Life's a bitch."

Stranded me between them. Peak winter hell. Iris still bad-faced. Saving us cost her wound.

…Can't leave like that.

No medical knowledge, but knew serious. Couldn't leave Iris like this.

And that guy then.

Robe targeting Eria. Saw white fingers emit mana. Who?

Would've been over if late.

Saw mana gather, jumped or Eria dead. Maybe me too.

That guy.

Looked at me.

Next time, me for sure. Lived thanks Iris, but bugged.

…Why just me.

Romance fantasy, why me in this mess? Mom, save me fuck.

"Ugh. Gonna go nuts."

Sighed deep. Staring snow no answer.

"Hey, young lady."

"…What?"

Iris answered strained. Asked her.

"Can't just go back? Path behind, why stay here?"

"?"

Iris puzzled.

"Path? What?"

"Huh?"

Now I puzzled, pointed.

"There. Path."

"…What? That's wall."

"Huh?"

"What?"

Not communicating. Talking to wall?

"No… What? Path here."

Cave had path behind. Downward. Narrow but passable. Approached it.

"That's wall… Eh? Wha?"

"Oh!? Ma-Mage!"

I entered path, Iris freaked. Quiet Eria too.

What? Why freak?

"Why so shocked?"

"Eek!"

"Y-You…"

"What's up."

"Passed through wall."

"…Huh?"

Then I realized.

No way.

"Can't see path?"

"…How…!"

Iris approached. Winced rising from pain, touched wall.

Thud thud.

"Huh."

Iris punched empty air, wall sound. Real wall? Why? I don't see it?

"What now."

Path only I see? Sounds cool.

Anyway.

"Something."

Looked back. Only I can go, fine.

What's there.

Inside path, something rippled in air. Energy. Mana. Like robe guy. Ice Trolls. Snow. Mana led down path.

"…"

Thump. Heart raced.

Look at this?

Tempting. Mana seduced me. Not easy to tempt unless pretty girl.

Makes me wanna go.

Dunno what. Mana itself seduced. I followed entranced.

"…Be right back."

"What? Wait! What you gonna do there…!"

"Ma-Mage… Wait…!"

Ignored, descended path. Slippery as hell. Gripped walls, slid down slow.

What is it.

What at path's end. Heart pounded wilder following mana path. What? What in this cave?

Instinct led. Cave shallower than thought. Reached end.

Swish—

"…"

Stopped. Just a stone table. On it.

"What the."

Wooden stick? Something like that.

"…Huh?"

Approached puzzled. Real wooden stick.

"Oh!"

No. Not just stick.

"Fucking cool. What is this."

Sword-shaped wooden stick. Shape no red-blooded man passes. Awesome. Fuck, finding this here. Excited, grabbed stick.

Then.

Vrrr—!

Crack.

"Huh?"

An inaudible cry burst with panic.