Chapter 39
Chapter 39
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 39
Chapter Title: Anhui
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"You've worked hard all this time, Daoist. Thanks to you, we've made it here."
"I've had it easy thanks to you too."
"Me as well."
After the long carriage ride ended, we bid farewell to the merchants accompanying us and began to get our bearings.
"Hmm... so... this is..."
"That's where we are right now."
"Ah."
Somehow, it felt like blinders had formed over my eyes—every little flaw of his struck me as endearing.
"Conveniently, it overlaps somewhat with the route from the plan you mentioned yesterday. The person I'm looking for is nearby as well, so let's go as you wish."
"Wasn't it urgent?"
"It's something I've waited ten years for. What's one more day?"
He seemed utterly convinced that the man in Anhui was the one I sought.
From his perspective, that made perfect sense.
After all, I'd told him this fateful meeting was imminent.
But that wasn't the case for me.
Thump thump thump...
'...I'm not mentally prepared yet...'
Honestly, I thought it more likely that the man right beside me was Dan Yuseong than the one in Anhui.
I had no idea how much the Anhui man matched Dan Yuseong, but I doubted it was more than the one standing before me.
A past betrayed by a woman. Traces of Mount Hua Sect martial arts. A shattered dantian now.
Add in a decade of secluded mountain training, and it even explained why he hadn't been found until now.
No matter how sharp Mount Hua's eyes were, they couldn't scour every remote mountain in the vast Central Plains.
'...I wish it wasn't him.'
Yet deep down, I hoped he wasn't Dan Yuseong.
I hoped the man in Anhui was instead.
That way, at least I wouldn't have committed the heaven-defying sin of falling for the man I'd have to atone to for life.
"...Lead the way. As promised, I'll follow wherever you say."
I'd pondered and pondered during the journey, but still couldn't decide.
If he truly was Dan Yuseong, how should I react?
Through the heavenly secrets he'd divined, one of these two was highly likely to be him. There was no retreating now.
Atoning for life was a given; I needed a more concrete plan.
And what worried me most was his reaction once he learned I was So-yeon's master.
Just imagining him showing disgust and pushing me away made my heart ache.
The thought of him accusing me of deceiving him all this time choked me silent.
How repulsive it was.
A woman who wanted to atone to him,
yet didn't want his hatred.
And here she was.
Grab.
"Miss. What are you doing? There are some interesting street performers over there."
A warm, soft sensation filled my hand.
He'd taken my hand and pointed to the performers on the street.
"..."
"Miss?"
"Sorry... really..."
Even as these thoughts swirled,
even as self-loathing surged,
this hand clasped in his,
this pure affection he offered me,
I wanted it too much. I couldn't let go.
'Just a little longer... please...'
I lied to myself.
Forcibly suppressing the rising self-disgust from within.
"N-No need to apologize with such a face."
"N-No... let's go."
Please,
let this last day be a cherished memory.
They say good times fly by.
True to the words, time with him passed in a flash.
I'd seen wondrous creatures with him in Henan before, but chaos had erupted quickly then, preventing us from truly enjoying it—and my feelings for him had been a confused mess.
After that, he'd fallen ill, confining us indoors.
"Miss! Look at that waterfall! Can't even see the end!"
This moment felt utterly precious.
"The food here is exquisite. Famous places live up to the hype."
In truth, this was likely our last day of pure enjoyment together.
"Your favorite liquor. Brewed only in this region—should be quite novel."
"Ooooh...!"
I wanted to gift him the best memories possible.
"Tiring climb, but worth it. Good we didn't miss the timing."
"...Felt like I dragged you most of the way."
"Without you, I'd have skipped this entirely."
The sunset from the peak was breathtaking.
[See? Told you it'd be worth the hardship.]
[It's perfect, Master!]
"..."
Seeing the same scene from ten years ago in the same spot stirred many thoughts.
I could have avoided it, but I didn't.
It was the sin I'd committed.
Facing it was my duty.
"Time to head back to the inn. Others are leaving."
"...Suppose so."
It had been a joyful time.
Before retiring to the inn, I spotted an old man with a sketchboard and brush, eking out a living by drawing portraits.
"Um..."
I opened my mouth toward him, then quickly closed it.
What meaning would a portrait of us hold now?
He remained oblivious that I was his enemy.
"...Let's go."
"Want a portrait?"
I tried to turn away, but he saw right through me.
"No... just curious..."
"We've come this far; might as well get one."
I could have refused, but my body weakly followed as he pulled me along.
The old man's skill was impressive; we received it quickly.
A portrait of me shrouded in my Bloodstained Cloak, and him in an identical one fully veiling even his face.
We looked comically absurd.
"You keep it?"
"You sure?"
"I'm a wanderer now—no place to hang it."
I accepted without protest.
Once he learned my identity, it'd likely be torn or burned.
[Throw it all away. Everything...]
"...Thanks. I'll treasure it."
I felt disgusted with myself, yet today, I wanted to be a bit selfish.
After all, I'd lived ascetically for so long.
"...Miss? I don't think I need nursing anymore..."
The final night.
Before he slept.
With my resolve to be selfish, there was something I wanted to say.
"...Do you ever..."
My mouth froze even as I spoke.
Even with my ironclad facade, these words were hard to utter.
"...Ever what?"
"...What do you think of me?"
I said it.
I was certain I'd regret it.
But... this was the only chance.
Days like this with him,
days before my self-loathing crushed me,
ended today.
Gulp.
I waited for his lips to part.
My gaze fixed on them; time slowed naturally.
High cultivation was a curse here.
The wait dragged endlessly.
"I think you're a good person."
His answer was so
absurdly concise, yet
"...I see."
it steadied my cracking heart.
"Why ask?"
"...Nothing. Just a whim."
I might regret not pushing further.
But
I'd regretted enough in life.
A few more wouldn't hurt.
"So, off to find that man today?"
"...That's the plan. He probably won't be asleep by now."
"I pray he's the one. Hope my divination didn't miss. You've waited ten years—heaven's spirits should grant some consideration."
He seemed content staying at the inn alone.
"...Care to come along?"
"Pardon?"
"When I meet him... wait outside the door. Please."
"...Alright."
He probably thought I felt uneasy going alone.
It was partly true,
but also my own trap.
No escape now, even if this man wasn't Dan Yuseong.
Hoo... hoo...
Steadying my still-trembling heart, we headed to the man's home.
Not huge, but not small. A typical household size.
With a quavering voice, I called out; moments later, a man cautiously opened the door.
"...I live alone here, but if it's not rude... who might you be?"
He resembled him.
Not many memories, but if that boy grew into a sturdy youth, it'd be like this.
"..."
Lips trembling long, I finally spoke.
"Do you... know the name Han So-yeon?"
A name I could barely voice.
The instant I did, I saw it.
His face flooded with sharp wariness and disgust.
"...And who are you to know that woman's name?"
"...Are you..."
"Come in first. I don't want to discuss her outside."
......
Perhaps this man was Dan Yuseong after all.