Chapter 151
Chapter 151
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 151
Chapter Title: Resolve
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-Bang!
She slammed the door shut, pressed one hand against the wall, and clamped the other over her mouth.
"Ugh..."
Disgusting.
I was disgusting.
What had been so great about it?
Marrying the child who'd suffered such grievous wounds because of her mistakes—and thinking that was cause for joy?
"Hoo... Eugh..."
She barely suppressed the rising nausea.
But the guilt and self-loathing surging up? Those she couldn't hold back.
Guilt coiled up from her legs, wrapping around her waist. Revulsion at the filthy person she'd been dominated her mind.
-Daze
Marriage. Fine. Marriage itself was acceptable.
If she saw it as atonement—serving by his side for life to make up for her sins—there'd be no issue.
But enjoying it? That was a different matter.
Was it really atonement if you took pleasure in it?
When a lifetime drowned in guilt wouldn't even suffice, to revel in it...
For anyone else, maybe. But when the target was herself? Utterly unforgivable.
"Haa... Haa..."
-Clench
Just a short time apart, and she'd forgotten in the interim?
Or deluded herself that slaking her desires behind the shield of dreams justified doing it for real?
'I thought I'd finally sorted out my feelings...'
One night of passion had pleased her so much? She'd forced down her rising body heat with drugs, resolved it herself, barely pieced her heart back together—or so she'd thought. Apparently not.
The moment opportunity arose, she'd snatched it up like she'd been waiting.
How was that the behavior of someone atoning?
'...Do I even truly feel sorry toward him?'
Now even these thoughts crept in.
How many years had she spent searching for the boy whose life Soyeon had ruined?
If she'd truly been sorry, the instant she found him, she should've revealed she was Soyeon's master, begged forgiveness, and made reparations.
But what had she done instead?
Denied reality, insisting he couldn't be that boy. Pretended he was just some ordinary young expert. Tricked him while enjoying their travels.
Then, through yet another of her blunders, exposed him to the Blood Cult's demonic beasts.
And the result? His memories glitched out.
To the point he couldn't even recall Soyeon—the one who'd wrecked his life.
'Even holing up in the mountains...'
If not for Soyeon. If not for me. That never would've happened.
Lucky for him, a good master took him in. But if he'd never met that master...
The Central Plains weren't kind enough to let a child with a shattered dantian survive alone.
She'd nearly condemned him to that horrific end.
Yet she'd feared his hatred. Feared his contempt.
So when he couldn't remember Soyeon, she'd glossed over the truth. Hidden the fact that she had left him an indelible sin in the past.
'And yet... marriage.'
The title of Sword Empress felt sullied.
What "supreme expert of the orthodox factions"? What "orthodox" even mean?
What was righteous (正), and what was evil (邪)?
Were the teachings of Mount Hua she'd devoted her life to truly this paltry?
Deceiving people for personal desire. Reveling in it.
Wasn't she any different from the villains she'd subjugated all those years?
'...Did I even have the right to judge them?'
-Rattle
The heart demons she'd barely driven off came surging back.
Beliefs crumbled. Justice crumbled.
The pillars upholding her life—upholding her—shattered.
The truth stabbed her chest: her decades of life were a mass riddled with contradictions.
For a martial artist, heart demons were more perilous than any sword—yet no way to repel them came to mind.
[Villains must be executed.]
-Shing
The sword slipped from its sheath into her hand.
She felt the blade's presence, as familiar as her own body.
-Tremble
"Ah..."
Her body resisted the heart demon; the hand gripping the sword shook. Yet the blade remained firmly clutched.
One final question.
She'd mismanaged her disciple, inflicting a lifelong scar on an innocent child.
Failed to take him in promptly, abandoning him for over a decade.
Then, upon reuniting, fallen senselessly in love, denied reality, seized the chance to entwine their fates—and when marriage was proposed, accepted it without a shred of guilt.
Someone who'd lived her whole life claiming righteousness...
Was she a villain?
"..."
No answer came.
But the sword in her hand shifting ever so slightly? That sufficed.
A person with such "justice" couldn't be righteous.
-Clench
A montage flashed through her mind.
The sword in her hand followed slowly.
And at last, it pierced her chest...
-Creak!
"Sword Empress! Are you in there?"
-Flinch!
"Wh-what?"
The familiar voice made her swiftly sheath the sword.
Standing at the door was the man who held such complex meaning for her.
His face was hooded by the Bloodstained Cloak, but knowing what lay beneath, his expression formed unbidden in her mind.
"...What were you doing?"
"Ah, just... swinging my sword while grasping a clue for something."
"I see."
The excuse came out startlingly quick and apt—even to her own ears.
"B-but, do you need something? Sorry for abruptly leaving and cutting our talk short."
"Oh, nothing major... We were just about to head out, so I came to let you know. But I figured I should say it to your face."
"Ah..."
Her secretly elated heart sank once more.
...What had she been hoping for?
Undeniably disappointed, yet she couldn't pinpoint why.
"I-I see. I'll decide on that earlier matter and either come myself or send word, so you go on ahead."
She masked her inner reluctance with farewell words.
She figured that'd send him off smoothly, but...
"Oh, and one more thing..."
He approached as he spoke.
"Wh-what?"
"I thanked you before, but I don't think I did it properly then."
He drew near, took both her hands in his.
"Thank you so much for saving me—again."
And bowed his thanks.
"..."
She froze, speechless.
But he mistook it,
"Oh, right—keeping my face covered like this is rude in the moment."
-Rustle
He lowered his hood, revealing his face.
"I survived thanks to you. Truly, thank you."
-Beam
He smiled—a smile embodying purity itself.
And in that instant...
-Thud!
Something in her chest dropped.
"...Sword Empress?"
"Huh?!"
"Are you alright...?"
I watched her snap out of her statue-like freeze and asked if she was okay.
Her sudden exit earlier aside,
She really did seem unwell.
"Shall I fetch some medicine? Yeo Socheon seemed to have some medical knowledge, and Dang Ayoung knows a bit of everything..."
"No, no—it's not that kind of ailment. No need to worry. I was just... lost in thought."
"Lost in thought?"
I tilted my head.
A bit surprising.
Sword Empress always seemed so poised and dashing—never one for worries.
She struck me as the type to bulldoze through anything decisively. Guess even she was human after all.
"Want to tell me about it? I'm something of an expert."
"T-to you?"
"Yeah. Back at the fortune shop, about thirty percent of customers came for advice. Sure, some hoped for real future-sight, but anyone investing in divination is usually anxious about the future or unhappy with the present. Makes me pretty confident in counseling."
"I-is that so..."
Lately it'd all been sex, but my real trade was fortune-telling.
Telling fortunes wasn't just peeking ahead—you had to guide them on dodging bad fates, warn against squandering good ones. Half the job was therapy.
Learned all sorts of human oddities that way...
"Anyway, I'm fine—go ahead and spill. I can even read your fortune if needed."
Handy skill to have, right?
"W-well... that is..."
"Don't trust me?"
"N-no! How could I not trust you! It's just..."
"Just?"
"...Ugh."
Sword Empress flushed, clamped her mouth shut, then finally spoke.
"...It's about a story I heard recently. Concerning two people."
-Nod
I nodded for her to continue.
"A inflicted an indelible wound on B... Leaving B not just threatened with death, but doomed to carry that scar for life."
"That's rough. How'd that happen?"
"...Time passed. B adapted somehow, lived on. Then, by chance, A and B reunite."
"And they fought?"
"...No. Too much time had passed; neither recognized the other. They built a normal, good rapport. Then A realizes B is that same person from the past... but keeps quiet, because he likes their current relationship."
"Things are getting interesting."
"...An intriguing situation. More time passes... A pivotal event forces A to confess he was the one who'd hurt B. But due to some reason, B has lost memories of A—and still sees him as a good person. A doesn't want to ruin things, so he glosses over details."
"Hmm..."
'Sounds like a novel.'
Not real life, probably—but if Sword Empress said so, it must be.
"In this scenario... Is A's choice to hide the truth—wanting to preserve their bond—right?"
"That's your worry?"
"...Yes."
"...Hmm. Perspectives vary, but my take? No real issue."
"..."
I met her quiet gaze and pressed on.
"B survived the wound and lived on for ages, so he must've coped or adapted. Forgetting A suggests it wasn't that big a deal anymore."
"...Is that so?"
"Yeah, right? If it was an unforgivable blood feud, no amount of time erases it."
"..."
"A didn't hide it forever—he confessed, but B forgot. So that's that. Who'd dredge up buried memories just to get hated? Your current good relationship lets you repay the debt gradually."
"...You really think... that?"
A tremor laced her voice.
"Sure. Though if I were B, learning a good friend was once an enemy wouldn't be fun. Sounds like the wound came from a mistake, not malice—so even more so. 'Ignorance is bliss,' yeah?"
"..."
'...Do they have that proverb here?'
Casual sayings sometimes backfire like this.
I hadn't mapped every local idiom.
"Oh, what that means is—"
"No need. I get it."
-Rustle
Sword Empress straightened from staring at the floor and approached.
...The vibe turned kinda scary.
"...Sword Empress?"
"Sorry, but... could I ask a favor?"
"Wh-what favor?"
-Grab
She was suddenly in front of me, wall at my back.
-Gulp
Familiar setup.
I could guess what came next.
She bent at the waist to meet my eyes.
I instinctively shut mine, bracing for the floating sensation...
"Could you... violate me?"
................................
What?