Chapter 142
Chapter 142
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 142
Chapter Title: Tripartite Confrontation
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"I-I get that you two are close, but please refrain from that sort of thing in broad daylight! Especially with a guest waiting outside!"
"Sorry..."
Yeo Socheon sat us down and launched into a lecture.
Her repertoire didn't stray far from the kind of stuff you'd expect from an older, uptight Taoist priest, but even she seemed embarrassed as she said it.
"O-Of course, it seems like I showed up at a bad time, but you could've at least answered the door... right? S-So..."
Her words grew weaker by the second, devolving into a rambling mess.
"I-It’s not inherently a bad thing, right? It’s the harmony of yin and yang... the principle that keeps the world turning, so in a way, it’s actually virtuous... But when you get too into it, you lose focus and can’t hear anything else..."
"...Feels like your words are heading off into the mountains."
"You stay quiet! As if a premature ejaculator like you could hold back!"
"Gahk!"
Her verbal blow hit like a punch to the solar plexus, sending me crumpling to the floor.
"Don’t you have any pride? Normally, if you get caught like that, you’d be so startled the mood dies instantly. What’s so good about it that you just keep going? No self-control at all?"
"Cough... cough..."
Her words felt like fists repeatedly slamming into my chest, making me taste blood in my mouth.
So this is what it means for a master martial artist to kill with words alone, without lifting a finger.
I’d never been so shaken by mere speech in my life. It genuinely felt like my HP was draining away.
And perhaps sensing my state,
"W-Wait a second! Don’t go too hard on him!"
Dang Ayoung stepped in, blocking Yeo Socheon with her arm.
Yes, only Dang Ayoung would help me out...
"Being premature isn’t a crime! It’s not like he chose to be sensitive!"
"Guhk!"
Even you, Brutus!!!
"And so what if he’s premature? He’s got stamina for days! Even after he finishes, he stays hard and keeps going strong—what’s the big deal?!"
-Tremble tremble...
Betrayed even by the one I trusted, I collapsed to the floor, twitching intermittently.
Ah, so this is what they mean by rock bottom having a basement.
My male pride, already shattered beyond repair, now crumbled into something finer than dust.
Losing both pride and dignity made it hurt all the more to the bone.
"Wh-What? Did you just say...?"
"And you’ve got nothing to say either, Thunderbolt Sword! I heard everything! About what happened between you two!"
"What?!"
In the midst of it all, hearing Dang Ayoung openly press the detonation button, I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the chaos ahead.
.
.
.
After a long debate between the two, the timely growl of my stomach prompted Dang Ayoung to suggest a truce over a meal.
We hurriedly prepared an extra serving and sat at the table.
-Clink
"...Yes. First off..."
Yeo Socheon, the eldest among us (?), set her teacup down on the table and spoke in a much calmer tone.
"I should apologize first. I did barge in without the host’s permission."
-Bow
She said it with a remarkably composed expression as she lowered her head.
"...Any ulterior motives...?"
It was a natural suspicion given Yeo Socheon’s usual personality, but
-Thwack!
"..."
A burst of etiquette (??) from under the table shut me up instantly.
"Sorry. I could clearly sense someone inside, but no matter how much I called, there was no response, so I got impatient."
"Haha, it’s fine. My fault for not keeping my ears open properly."
Something about this was terrifying.
They were both smiling, but it didn’t feel like smiles at all.
-Crackle
Like their gazes had physical form, clashing and sparking...
Ah, so it’s her doing that.
...
"Don’t circulate your qi over something like this?!"
"Anyway, I’ve apologized, so let’s move on."
"I’m saying..."
"Yes. No point wasting time on door repair costs."
"..."
Ha, life.
This is why people need power.
I didn’t even like it that much, but I suddenly craved a smoke.
As I grumbled inwardly and sipped my tea, Yeo Socheon spoke cautiously.
"You heard about that incident, right?"
"Yes. While exploring the ruins, Thunderbolt Sword got drugged with an aphrodisiac and pounced."
"...Sigh."
Yeo Socheon looked at me with utter disappointment.
"..."
I silently averted my eyes.
I had told her before we parted, after all.
"You boasted you wouldn’t get caught... When did it happen?"
"The day I got back, on the bed."
"...My mistake for trusting you."
-Tsk
-Flinch!
Her tongue-click made me flinch involuntarily.
...Wait a minute. Why do I feel like the criminal here?
I was the one who got raped.
I tried voicing such complaints, but their simultaneous responses left me speechless.
"You tempted her first."
"It’s your fault for being so lewd."
"...Huh?"
I wasn’t sure if I’d heard right.
No man should ever hear that from a woman.
"You don’t seem aware, but you unconsciously flirt with women all the time. You think it’s just casual compliments, light touches, basic social stuff—but women don’t see it that way."
"And your scent is weirdly erotic too."
"Exactly. Your body odor? Aura? Whatever it is, it’s addictive. Makes your body heat up with real lust. I even thought about bottling it as perfume once."
"If you knew and did it anyway, that’d be one thing, but you don’t, so you just keep charming women everywhere..."
The two, who’d been glaring daggers moments ago, suddenly teamed up to dissect me.
My mind was filled with question marks as I listened.
What... am I hearing right now?
"Um... Am I the only one who can’t follow this conversation...?"
"You don’t need to."
"Right."
-Droop
As I hung my head and poked at my cooling side dishes, the two women chatted away like they’d never fought.
"You know, even during the expedition, he tempted me first. He forgot his sleeping bag, so since I’m sturdier, I offered mine—and he suggests sharing."
"Wh-What happened?"
"So I let him share, and in his sleep, he gropes my breasts..."
...What is she even saying?
I vaguely remembered suggesting sharing because he forgot his, but nothing like that.
And come on, a grown man groping breasts in his sleep? Like he’s a baby?
That’s some serious slander.
That was my inner thought, but the mood didn’t let me interject.
The conversation dragged on for a while longer.
"Turns out she’s a reasonable junior after all."
"It was an honor to have such a good talk with you, Thunderbolt Sword."
By the time I finished eating, they were shaking hands in perfect harmony.
"...Conversation over?"
"Oh, you didn’t hear?"
"You didn’t include me... I was hungry, so I just ate."
"It wrapped up nicely. Right, Thunderbolt Sword?"
"Of course, Poison Phoenix."
Hard to believe these were the same two sparking qi earlier, but good vibes are good, so I blurted out a random question.
"So, what about marriage?"
"..."
"..."
And the moment I did, I realized.
Should’ve just shut up.
"Heh... Of course, I couldn’t possibly presume to marry before such a venerable senior, but Thunderbolt Sword is a Kunlun Taoist with ties there, right? I thought Kunlun Taoists weren’t allowed to marry?"
"Haha... That’s an old rule from ages ago. It’s been gone for a while."
"Do you know when exactly it was abolished?"
"Just now."
"Heh..."
For reference, the Central Plains was basically monogamous by default.
Concubines had no limits, but a principal wife was one per man.
Plus, unlike modern Earth, this world’s sexually conservative culture meant sleeping together pretty much equaled marriage.
No such thing as fuckbuddies.
Even forced marriages after rape—stuff that’d only happen in historical dramas back home—were realistic here.
So my offhand comment could be interpreted as:
[So who’s the principal wife and who’s the concubine?]
"..."
-Fume fume
Damn, no matter how I phrase questions, it always turns out like this.
So many better options, and I pick that one.
I didn’t mean it that way—pure curiosity about marriage plans—but seeing their faces, it was clearly how they took it.
"I met you first... and we consummated way earlier... So shouldn’t I marry first?"
"Is this how little respect modern juniors have for seniors? You might not remember, but I’ve helped the Sichuan Tang Clan plenty. Dozens of their warriors owe me their lives..."
"Oh my... If I were the clan head or heir, sure, I’d have to repay that debt. But I’m just ‘Father’s’ ‘daughter.’"
"...The Sichuan Tang Clan head really raised you well, huh?"
"Father says he’s still got a long way to go. He’s lived long, but he can’t match the life wisdom of true elders like you..."
"...That little bi—"
"Stop!!!"
She almost said the b-word!! I heard it!!
"Not stop—halt! Just stop! This is gonna end in bloodshed!"
"...I wouldn’t mind a spar or two."
-Crackle!
"S-Socheon, calm your qi first..."
"But that brat brings up age dishonestly!! A green little girl!! At her age, I was still training in the mountains!!"
"Sigh, age doesn’t matter. You look young again anyway. You said you never aged much to begin with. So calm down."
After Dang Ayoung poked Yeo Socheon’s sore spot—her age, the ultimate weapon—I barely calmed her raging fury. Once she caught her breath, Yeo Socheon spoke.
"...Then you choose."
"....................Me?"
"You’re her husband, right? It’s only fair. Better than us fighting."
"Uh... uh..."
"Yeah, that makes sense. You choose. You’re her husband."
"Even you?!"
The hot potato landed squarely in my lap.
Yeo Socheon glared lightning from her eyes on one side, while Dang Ayoung smiled innocently, flashing a suspicious vial from her sleeve on the other.
I couldn’t pick either.
-Knock knock!
At that moment, the knock at the front door felt like a lifeline from the heavens.