Sorrow Turns into Lingering Attachment
Sorrow Turns into Lingering Attachment
Averting one's eyes from fear is human instinct.
In a way, it's only natural to shift blame onto others to escape a reality too harsh to confront.
Because that's the only way to endure.
Because that's the only way to keep from breaking apart.
What lies in wait at the end of a road paved with excuses and shirked responsibility?
He witnessed the fate of those who fled with his own eyes.
─ 'G-Grandfather. What should I do...?'
Those pretty hands were stained with blood, those clear eyes quaked with fear, and that pure voice trembled with guilt.
In a world gone mad, everyone lives in sin, but...
Is it truly the right path to sacrifice even your own flesh and blood to survive?
Even after living for countless years, he could not find a clear answer.
And that was precisely why.
─ 'It's alright. I'll take full responsibility.'
He merely held her close.
He uttered empty platitudes, saying everything would be fine.
All while firmly believing that time would heal everything.
But what he didn't know was that comfort devoid of sincerity only makes the recipient more miserable.
Consideration.
Kindness.
A single phrase saying it couldn't be helped—he never imagined it would torment that child so much.
The heart is a delicate thing.
He didn't know that sometimes, a stern reprimand is necessary.
And because of that.
─ 'Yeong-won? Ah, you mean that child. Tragically, that child has been extinguished. Having entrusted everything to us.'
He had to pay for it with what mattered most.
You can't scoop back up what's been lost.
The moment he met those crimson eyes, he realized he had crossed a river with no return.
At its end lies only sorrow.
Ah, why.
Why did you make such a choice?
If only I had been there at that time.
If only I hadn't turned a blind eye to your sorrow back then.
You would still be by my side...
Grief becomes regret.
And regret becomes obsession.
─ 'You want me to smile? What a peculiar request. Is this fine?'
─ 'Huh? This isn't it? What do you mean it's not? Honestly, it gets harder to please you by the day. Even stubbornness has its limits.'
That child was no longer his granddaughter.
It was someone else who had stolen his granddaughter's body, never able to replace what was precious to him.
Then what was he to do?
If he wished to see that smile once more, what must he do?
The answer was simple.
─ 'This is a contract, you old and contemptible one. In exchange for sealing her power, we shall grant what you desire.'
Turn it back to the beginning.
Yes, if only I could turn it back to those innocent days.
Even if all of this is nothing but my own selfishness.
─ 'I accept. If I can see that child's smile once more, I will gladly pay any price.'
Surely, at the very last moment, indulging in a little greed is forgivable.
*
[Now, now, things are heating up! Your burning passion is enough to set the night sky ablaze! And the long-awaited final match to decorate this fiery night! The protagonists who have brought a new wind of bloodshed to the City of the Sun, Gwanak-gu, are these two teams!]
[The Night Flower Families. A team worth noting. I didn't expect much, but they've performed surprisingly well. They've crushed every opponent. And with their trademark brutality. It's been quite interesting. I doubt anyone disagrees that they've provided an entertaining spectacle.]
[Their execution ceremonies were certainly stimulating! Yes, truly impossible to tear your eyes from! Of course, this other team has also shown an impressive performance. Namely, 'Nameless'! They've displayed a strength befitting their mysterious concept! A performance that brings down any opponent in a single strike! Wow, I believe this team is the real dark horse!]
It was certainly a surprising sight.
The sight of the Gladiator carrying on a heated conversation all by herself naturally drew admiration from onlookers.
A one-man show playing two roles.
It was a truly ridiculous farce, but since the entire audience took it seriously, I couldn't just outright mock it either.
It seemed her main personas were the lively one and the dignified one.
The aloof, suit-clad persona from last time... was that the one handling administrative work?
She very rarely appeared on stage.
"Old man, just how many personalities does that woman have? I doubt it's just three."
"...Why are you asking me that?"
"Come on, you know the answer."
"....."
Even when I jeered at him as obnoxiously as possible, the reaction I wanted didn't come.
The old man simply answered with silence.
Tch, you're no fun.
"Anyway, with all this attention focused on us, the mood makes it hard to even bring up the idea of forfeiting."
"That's right. Won't we get mobbed on our way back?"
Kim Ha-yoon nodded in agreement with Angelica's concern.
They looked quite burdened by the cheers erupting from the spectator stands.
I felt the same.
A barrage of shouts flew at us from all directions—curses telling us to get torn apart, declarations that they'd bet their entire fortunes on us, and even outright death wishes.
Honestly, it felt a bit grim.
Thinking about how even the favorable crowd would turn on us and shower us with jeers the moment we spoiled the fun put me in a sour mood.
"What does it matter? You aren't the type of people to consider the circumstances of each and every one of them, are you?"
"Well, that's true."
Mirkella was correct.
Even she seemed reluctant to fight those monsters, hinting that we should surrender quickly and go back.
She had her own reasons to complete this commission and return to the Order, but...
It didn't seem to be a matter precious enough to risk her life for.
"What about you? If this keeps up, that Cult Leader person will be disappointed."
"Probably. But Dongjak-gu still remains, doesn't it? We didn't really clash with Gwanak-gu that much in the first place, so if we just handle Dongjak-gu, the Cult Leader will give us some leeway."
Oh, so you haven't completely given up yet?
But my intuition told me that the day she joined our camper van wasn't far off.
Maybe because she'd lived such a repressed life, this one was secretly weak to desire.
If I gently pounded her and then slapped an enslavement scroll on her, wouldn't she join us as if she had no choice?
Besides, it seemed like the Cult Leader's side had no intention of using Mirkella as a Saintess again.
'If they did, they wouldn't have withdrawn her divine power.'
If they'd decided to only give her the role of a guide, they wouldn't have let her get this close to us from the start.
There would have been some kind of warning.
But since there was none, maybe the Cult Leader intended to hand Mirkella over to me from the very beginning?
Well, maybe I'm overthinking it.
It's just my speculation, after all.
In any case, the ones who greeted us as we came out to the arena were suspicious men draped in dull black robes.
They stared intently at us but didn't seem to harbor any particular hostility.
That much was clear when their leader, a man, readily asked for a conversation.
"So it is you who have ascended to this place. Your qualities seem lacking... but at times, pure strength becomes qualification itself. In that sense, I wish to ask you. What wish do you harbor in your hearts to have come this far?"
The man was dressed like a character straight out of a martial arts novel.
He was a giant of a man, nearly two meters tall, but his physique didn't look dull.
Rather, 'lithe' was the word that came to mind.
Even his menacing face seemed gentlemanly when he spoke so calmly.
"If we answer, will you let us forfeit?"
"That would depend on the circumstances."
...Really?
My expression was filled with disbelief.
I had been considering forfeiting, and now, ironically, the party holding all the cards was expressing an intent to withdraw.
There was a real chance we could get a free win here.
"Hmm... but we didn't exactly join because we desperately wanted something."
To be honest, I'd already achieved everything I wanted to.
Overwhelming power?
Eternal life?
I don't even wish for things like that.
To me, what held value above all else were my fuckhouses.
Therefore, in a way, I had already fulfilled my wish.
"Me neither, really. If I had to pick something, maybe being a bit taller?"
When I glanced at Kim Ha-yoon, that simple answer came back.
Our Ha-yoon might be the shortest in the group, but her height wasn't that small...
Isn't 157 centimeters decent for a woman?
"...What."
Well, she seemed dissatisfied herself.
Next was Angelica.
"Who knows. I don't have anything in particular either. Though it's a bit messy, this boisterous journey is quite a delicacy in its own way. But, yes. If I had to say, I hope the end of this journey is a warm one."
'Messy' meant my womanizing, of course.
Occasional jabs like that made my heart twinge a little.
But that didn't mean I had any intention of changing my stance.
"Oh? Is it my turn now?"
"I suppose that's how the mood is going?"
"Ah... um... I guess so. As for me, my only wish is to firmly re-solidify my position."
Mirkella spoke of her lingering attachment to being the Saintess.
The key point was that she didn't seem genuinely sincere even as she said it.
Perhaps because she'd learned debauchery while moving with us?
"I see. You are satisfied with the present. To want for nothing in this chaotic world... that is a rare thing."
The man closed his eyes gently after hearing our answers.
It was a reaction that was hard to read.
He merely offered a calm impression.
"But your satisfaction has likely been built upon the blood of others. Coveting flesh and blood, basking in screams. Things unimaginable just a few months ago."
"You lot don't seem much different."
"We are different. At the very least, we do not revel in the misfortune of others. We covet out of necessity, but we showed respect in their final moments."
What, was he trying to lecture me?
I couldn't help but scoff at how pathetic it was.
So he builds up this atmosphere, only to be a hypocrite.
How absurd.
"It is easy to guess how you have survived by watching your earlier duels. It was truly... regrettable. Why do you persist in such wrongful acts when you could have shown mercy? With that strength, you could have fully followed the Way."
"Look here. Do you think we're the only ones like this? The world is crawling with bastards worse than us. If anything, we're practically saints compared to them."
"That is no excuse. You are unmistakably evil. Demons who move solely according to your desires."
...What a magnificent saint we've got here.
And what? The Way?
Seocho-gu has enough cults of its own.
If you're going to lecture someone, you've picked the wrong guy.
I don't regret a single thing I've done.
What others call 'wrong' is just the law of a past society.
In a world ruled by power, the strong are the law.
Thus, I couldn't help but frown with displeasure.
"It isn't just you. It's everyone in this place. The accumulated evil deeds have propped up false principles as if they were order, and everyone has chased only pleasure while ignoring their sins. What lies within that? What remains? Nothing. Only emptiness awaits. The current situation has already reached an irreversible point."
"So what are you trying to say?"
"If you could return to the past, would you do so?"
He asked us that with a solemn gaze.
Coming at us with such an absurd and preposterous question.
I let out a light snort.
"Huh, a question not even worth answering. Everything I've built is because the world changed like this, so why would I go back to the past?"
What reason is there to return to that miserable past?
And is it even possible in the first place?
"Same here. My life now is precarious, but it's still much better than living in poverty at the very bottom like before."
"I agree. If the world hadn't ended, I would have just remained a run-of-the-mill executive. That kind of life doesn't seem very fun."
"Hmm... I also find right now a bit more enjoyable than a static life."
The three women expressed the same opinion as me.
That left only the old man.
The old man who had been observing the situation in consistent silence.
His mouth finally opened.
"Gladly. If I could recover that child, I would bear any price."
Stepping forward, the old man spoke in a tone filled with resolve for some reason.
His eyes glistened with a sticky desire beyond description.
"You old and contemptible one. You remain the same. An unchanging heart. I hope it reaches her."
From the way he talked, it sounded like he had some acquaintance with him.
I looked at the old man with eyes demanding an explanation, but he didn't even glance at me and just stared straight ahead.
Soon, the man raised his hand high with a relieved look.
"We forfeit. We have heard the answer we wanted, so there is no longer a reason to remain here."
And then, without a shred of lingering attachment, he walked toward the entrance of the arena.
His footsteps were truly without hesitation.
It was enough to shock the watching spectator stands and the Gladiator.
[Ah ah?? What in the world is happening!? 'Nameless'! They had some kind of conversation with the Night Flower Families, and then suddenly declared a forfeit?? An unprecedented upset! Aah, I cannot help but be disappointed~!!]
─ You fucking cocksuckers! Just how much did I bet on you!? Are you joking!!!
─ This is no fun, no fun at all!! Start fighting already! Kill someone, I don't care who!!
[Truly, it is utterly deplorable. What did those fellows even come here for? Was it not to achieve their wish by any means necessary? And yet they flee without even making an attempt. They have no shame.]
─Kill them! Die!
─Blood and Skull! Honor and Fire Seed!!
Unsurprisingly, the reaction was not good.
It went beyond bloodthirsty to outright murderous.
But the man maintained a nonchalant attitude as if he couldn't care less.
As he passed by us, who were still wearing dumbfounded expressions, he muttered something softly to the old man.
"If your heart remains unchanged, I would like you to keep in mind that the contract is still valid. Until we meet again."
Yeah, see you never.
...What a truly unbelievable bastard.
What part of what the old man just said touched your heartstrings?
'Well, still... thanks to that, the commission is complete? I guess?'
Quite ironically.
Things had flowed in our favor.