Chapter 91
Chapter 91
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Gold
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Of course, I accepted the invitation.
I had no beef with Golden Almighty Corporation, and I didn't particularly want to flush gold down the toilet and risk clogging the pipes.
"This is something to welcome, even."
Because there was something I was curious about them.
Why had Golden Almighty Corporation handed the "Forgotten Alchemist's Equivalent Exchange Scales" over to the Supreme Chief Justice?
'Direct transactions with entities aren't their policy, and that hasn't changed recently.'
If it had changed, the branch manager suit would have told me during my last visit.
So, if the policy hadn't changed, yet this had still happened... I could roughly infer the situation from the wording on the invitation.
"It means one of their suits at the branch violated the policy."
I finished my preparations and headed down to the basement.
I swept all the gold bars piled up in front of the toy well into my Void Pocket, then passed the time reading the stacked letters.
[Argh! The exam's too hard! What if I fail?]
[I've got more money now, and life feels worth living, so all sorts of thoughts are popping up. Guess once a creature's survival needs are met, it craves self-actualization.]
[It's about time I got married. Anyone good out there? Sebulum would be ideal, but Pandenia's fine too. August has that rumor of zero sex drive, so nah. Leveling's too conservative, also nah. Hominos... ugh, can't even imagine.]
I read the backlog from the Shin Gu Hoe Rang Association and sent replies.
[You'll find a good match.]
[Fight on with the exam!]
I suited up and waited in the living room.
An hour after opening the invitation, someone knocked on the door.
"I've come to escort you, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon."
Outside was a female suit.
'No, a chauffeur suit.'
Unlike the other suits, whose features I couldn't make out, she was dressed in a driver's uniform and guided me to the vehicle.
"We'll transport you to Golden Almighty Corporation headquarters quickly and safely."
The car was a golden limousine.
Not painted or plated, but seemingly made of actual gold—the door handle alone felt unusually heavy.
"Refreshments for our guest are prepared inside, so please help yourself."
I pulled food from the fridge and warmer attached to the seats.
Each time, the chauffeur suit explained it without even looking back.
"Golden Kiwi is a fruit with truly beautiful golden flesh. Not to be confused with gold kiwis—these were gene-edited by Golden Almighty Corporation to make 50% of the interior edible gold."
"Golden Rice has gold grains instead of rice sprouts. Edible gold, so safe to eat."
"Golden Chicken is chicken fried in melted gold instead of oil. Fried by a chef trained under Mr. Ando, so you'll enjoy a heavenly taste."
"Golden Curry is just curry. It's golden by nature, the pinnacle of complete nutrition. Why mess with perfection?"
By the time I finished eating, the limo had stopped.
'I didn't see a thing outside.'
Not because I was distracted by the food—I literally couldn't see it.
Just like I couldn't distinguish the suits' faces, the scenery outside had been indistinguishable the whole ride.
"Mr. Lee Seung-hoon."
I stepped out and looked up at Golden Almighty Corporation headquarters.
"Welcome to our headquarters."
The building's exterior was just that—a building.
Seventy-nine windows wide, seventy-nine stories tall.
"Let me introduce our headquarters: 118 staff on duty at all times. The number can rise to 125 depending on circumstances, but never drops below 118."
"I see."
The chauffeur suit who drove me here took over the tour.
'Nothing special to see.'
Everything was made of gold, but aside from that, it was the same old Golden Almighty Corporation interior.
"This is as far as I go. Enter here, and another suit will assist you."
"Thanks for the guidance."
"Very well, then."
After parting with the chauffeur suit, I opened the door.
A familiar voice greeted me.
"Long time no see, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon."
"...It's been ages."
The very first suit assigned to me—the one who'd been promoted and transferred elsewhere.
I couldn't make out his face, but from his speech and manner, it was definitely him.
"Heh heh, thanks to you, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon, I've been promoted all this way. And now, a new promotion's in the works."
But having climbed so many ranks, he now sported a new feature absent before: a tattoo on his nape.
[I Love Gold]
"Soon, I'll be assigned as branch manager for your area. HQ's nice, but it's mostly paperwork and follow-ups like this. I was bored to death."
"Don't people usually prefer desk jobs?"
"True. More chances to see the Chairman here. But I crave handling gold bars... withdrawal's already setting in."
The suit guided me to a seat.
"Anyway, I'll explain the incident before the Chairman arrives."
And it was exactly as I'd predicted.
"The suit who was branch manager for your Earth dimension violated policy with direct entity transactions and unfair contracts."
I just hadn't expected the culprit to be the branch manager suit I'd met last time.
The gist was as follows.
"I don't recall his name. Hmm, seems the world's laws wiped it... "
"I call him the Supreme Chief Justice."
"I'll do the same. When he first visited, the branch manager suit was just a regular employee."
The Supreme Chief Justice had met the then-employee branch manager suit, who saw through his desperation.
"He exploited that desperation for a fraudulent contract. Not a spot trade, but an unfair one via paperwork."
"What were the terms?"
"Free rental of the 'Forgotten Alchemist's Equivalent Exchange Scales.' In exchange, the branch manager suit used it twice for the Supreme Chief Justice."
And those abilities were utterly horrific.
"The weight in gold of everyone who'd died directly or indirectly connected to the Supreme Chief Justice, paid to the branch manager suit. And forgetting the contract details that day."
"No wonder he didn't remember."
"He amassed illicit gold that way, rising to branch manager. But I spotted the discrepancies in his performance and deals, launched a full audit, and uncovered his corruption."
Thanks to that, I got promoted to field branch manager in his place.
The suit was thrilled.
"Anyway, he's probably facing hellish punishment from the Chairman by now."
"Gold equal to the weight of the dead? Sounds fitting, since it's gold."
"Artificially made gold like that's no good. Know lab-grown meat? Same thing. Nothing beats pure, natural gold."
I figured he'd love any gold, but turns out he's picky.
"Anyway! We're sorry for this incident. When we heard you got dragged in, we panicked, thinking we'd lose a VIP."
"It's resolved now, so I'm fine."
That's when it happened.
The suit shuddered violently.
"O-oh!"
I felt the vibration too.
From beyond the door, down the hall, it grew louder, accompanied by noise.
『Ooh, Chairman! Look at me!』
『Ahh! Chairman! Let me hear your voice!』
『Chairman! Our Chairman!』
The voices of approaching suits.
The one with me was already drooling, knees on the floor.
"Ooh, Chairman..."
Then the door opened.
Suits entered carrying a cute palanquin sized for the door.
"Hah! The Chairman has arrived."
I couldn't see the faces of the front and back bearers, but they looked so blissed out, like they'd drop dead from heart attacks any second.
'That's Golden Almighty Corporation's Chairman.'
As the invitation said: name, Gold.
Overlord of these god-like suited agents, head of the company.
"Hello?"
I greeted him.
"I'm Lee Seung-hoon."
To an utterly ordinary gold bar.
The gold on the palanquin was just a gold bar.
No special markings, no unique shape, no different color—just a perfectly ordinary 12kg gold bar.
"O-oh!"
But not to the suits, apparently.
"The Chairman speaks!"
"Attention, everyone!"
The suits carefully set down the palanquin.
Suits—presumably HQ staff—cheered from the hallway outside the door.
"Chairman! Let us hear your voice!"
The gold bar on the palanquin showed no change.
But to the suits, it did.
"O-oh! Ooooh!"
"G-Golden Voice!"
"Golden Golden Sound!"
"Golden ASMR Ear-gasm!"
"Golden Happy Time!"
They heard a voice I couldn't, and went wild with joy.
"Huff, huff—the Chairman welcomes our guest's visit!"
"Is that so?"
"Y-yes... Yes!? Ch-Chairman!? A-ah!"
The already-frenzied ones lost it even more.
"Really?!"
"Oh my god! Golden Customer Service Satisfaction!"
"Kyaa! Golden Crazy Time!"
"Good heavens! My heart's Golden Bouncing from the Chairman's generosity!"
As they flailed uncontrollably, my first suit barely composed himself to explain.
"Th-the Chairman, as apology, offers two recovered entities from this incident for free."
"Two for free?"
"Yes, not even placer gold in return!"
He couldn't hold back anymore, tears streaming.
"Aah! Golden Crying! Chairman's Golden Mercy!"
"Then, the 'Forgotten Alchemist's Equivalent Exchange Scales' and the 'Scales of Good and Evil' it is."
"Here you are."
The two scales appeared on the desk.
I'd stored them in my Void Pocket, but they'd apparently been retrieved with the other entities without me noticing.
"But taking them for free feels off. Do you accept donations?"
"We're not a charity, but we'll take 'em if you offer."
I emptied all the gold bars from my Void Pocket.
"Things I really wanted, but in gratitude for the Chairman's mercy, I donate these gold bars."
"O-oh!"
Suits who would've pounced normally held back.
Like well-trained hounds eyeing food, they stared longingly at the Chairman, awaiting his signal.
"Thank you!"
Then they all shouted and dove into the pile of gold bars.
"Ooooh! Golden Fucked Silly!"
"Hnng! Golden Eyes Roll!"
"Wow! O! Wow! Golden Multiple Orgasm!"
Some thrust against gold bars.
Some rubbed their chests on them; others shaped bars into long sticks and licked furiously.
"Well, I'll be going now."
They seemed too out of it to acknowledge me, so I slipped out quietly after that.
"...The Chairman's out too."
In the hall, the Chairman had already exited on his palanquin, waiting ahead of me.
"Excuse me, I don't know the way back home. Could you send me?"
The moment I finished speaking, I was in my living room.
"Golden Almighty Corporation's Chairman: Gold, huh."
Not your average gold after all.
"More importantly, how do I use these?"
I pulled out the two new scales.
I already knew where they'd go.
"Supreme Chief Justice."
No guarantee it'd work, but...
"I'll make your dream come true for you."
Gotta give it a shot, right?