Chapter 38
Chapter 38
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: The World Beyond the Right Eye - A World Where Everyone is Rational and Smart, Humanity's Extinction
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Yoo Seong-yeol (20), living in Chungju, was in a foul mood again today.
[Today's Traffic Accident Dashcam Footage.avi]
└[Ugh, they tried to go ten seconds early and caused a huge nuisance.]
└[People like that should all just drop dead.]
Having graduated high school and decided not to go to college, he had nothing but time on his hands. Until recently, he'd been working part-time jobs, but he'd quit those in preparation for his military enlistment scheduled for January next year. Now, he was just lounging at home.
[Today's US Mass Shooting Casualty Count]
└[Are all Americans idiots? If they just stopped selling guns, these shootings wouldn't happen.]
└[Seriously, a country insane with lobbying. The gun lobby won't let them ban guns.]
In a word, unemployed. Or, to put it nicely, a temporary home security guard or full-time son.
[Creepy Old Guy Flirting on the Subway]
└[Do they really want to act like that at their age?]
└[Just die gracefully once you're old, please.]
His daily routine was waking up late in the morning, picking at the breakfast his mom prepared, and spending the whole day on the computer. He'd long since grown tired of games, so he'd become a daily ghost haunting online communities.
[Current State of Global Warming.jpg]
└[This is never getting fixed. Humans are way too selfish for that.]
└[Yeah, I'll crank the AC, drive everywhere, fly on planes for overseas trips. Global warming? Who cares lololol, screw the descendants, not screwing me right?]
At first, he'd chuckle at the funny posts. But as he spent more and more time on the communities, staying up late into the night, somehow the non-funny posts started sticking with him longer.
[Water Pollution, Air Pollution Emissions: Top 2 are China and India. More than all other countries combined.]
[Why does China keep meddling in North-South issues? It's so sad being a powerless country.]
[15 Billion Won Deposit Fraudster Gets 7 Years; Victim Says "Republic of Scams"]
The world's irrationalities.
[Today's Japanese Subway Accident.jpg]
[Mental patient behind the street stabbing massacre; can't we just lock all the crazies in hospitals?]
[Car suddenly accelerates into crowd in India, 4 pedestrians dead; driver claims sudden acceleration.]
Misfortunes that strike suddenly, even if you're careful.
[Apartment rooftop brick throw kills pedestrian; juvenile offender, no punishment possible.]
[Gangnam drug doctor gets suspended sentence.]
A world overrun by all sorts of criminals.
[Man in 40s drowns in ocean after drunken plunge; body found next day]
[Fisherman falls to death from tetrapod while fishing]
Even people dying stupid deaths from doing stupid things.
"Why is the world so fucking stupid?"
Yoo Seong-yeol, who had always been pessimistic, grew disillusioned with the world.
"It's filled with irrational and idiotic shit."
Drunk driving, mass shootings, environmental pollution, wars between nations, Africa's famines, criminals living long lives while good people die tragically.
"Everything is fucking stupid."
Today, too, as he browsed communities and recharged his hatred for the world, the young man took over his mother's stall.
"Used goods? Why the hell would anyone buy this stuff?"
Buying items from who-knows-who, possibly crawling with germs or mites—only idiots did that.
"That thing..."
Then, something caught Yoo Seong-yeol's eye. On the stall was a monkey's paw with only the middle finger intact.
"A souvenir Dad brought from his business trip to Africa."
His dad had bought it on a trip there, calling it a lucky charm for 100,000 won, but Mom hated it, so it ended up here.
"Tch, why the hell did Dad waste money on that crap?"
This is why the 586 generation sucks. They sucked up all the sweet deals, got easy jobs, and now they whine about specs and shit while believing every damn superstition.
"Dad's just another hopeless 586."
As expected, the monkey's paw didn't sell until evening.
"Argh, only this didn't sell. Gotta get rid of this creepy thing fast."
His mother tossed the monkey's paw into a drawer like it gave her the chills. She wanted to throw it out, but since it'd cost 100,000 won, she'd wait for the next bazaar.
"Mom, food."
The next day, Yoo Seong-yeol woke up scratching his belly.
"Oh yeah, Dad said he went hiking."
While eating breakfast, he suddenly remembered the monkey's paw from yesterday.
"Could that be the monkey's paw? The one that grants wishes?"
He rummaged through the drawer and pulled it out.
"I heard monkey's paws twist people's wishes to grant them."
Pfft, as if this could be real. He didn't truly believe it, but wishing on it as a joke wouldn't hurt.
"Make me rich? Make me handsome? Nah, not some one-dimensional crap."
Unemployed life was boredom incarnate, so Yoo Seong-yeol thought seriously and soon answered.
"Make everyone rational and smart."
His wish was granted exactly as stated.
It started with light indulgences.
"Alcohol? What's the point? It just wrecks your body. Not rational."
"Cigarettes? Stress relief? Nicotine and tar rot your body. Not rational."
"Sugar? So what? Short-term pleasure for lifelong pancreatic abuse and diabetes? Not rational."
No one sought alcohol, cigarettes, or sugar anymore.
"Wingsuit? No way. Risking your life for a dopamine hit? Not rational."
"Rock climbing? Crazy? Slip and you're dead. No."
"Ugh, skydiving? The pinnacle of irrationality! Only idiots do that!"
No one did extreme sports anymore.
"Fishing? Pay money and waste time for a quick thrill?"
"Biking? Slower than cars, higher chance of dying in accidents. Why bother?"
"Hiking? What if you roll down? Sudden rain and you're stranded? Why do it?"
Even light hobbies vanished.
"Fried food's bad for you. Wreck your body for life for one meal's enjoyment? Stupid and irrational."
"Gukbap? Get lost, carb bomb! Only idiots with udon noodles for brains eat that!"
"Ramen! Keep that disgusting slop away from me!"
"Pizza!? Suicidal? Or IQ lower than a dolphin's!?"
All sorts of foods were thoroughly shunned.
"I won't drive cars. Short-term comfort for potential death or severe injury in accidents? No thanks."
With drivers gone, all business ground to a halt. Ordering a package now meant waiting half a year.
"Hah! Mass production pumps out CO2 accelerating global warming! Is there anything stupider? Halt it!"
Even that stopped mass production, stretching waits to a year. No more grain feed meant livestock production halted too, and the abundant modern society became history.
"One meal block, please."
Instead, the government stepped in to provide rational, smart meals.
"This is great. Tasteless, but truly rational and smart!"
Blocks containing daily carbs, protein, and fats tasted awful, but no one complained.
"It's not like tastelessness kills you. Improving taste? Waste of time, irrational."
Humanity's rational, smart thinking advanced further.
"I have baldness. Can't pass these genes to offspring. Please castrate me."
Those with genetic diseases requested removal of reproductive functions, and the government obliged.
"People with genetic diseases breeding is unfair to kids and irrational for humanity."
"Right, passing bad genes for personal lust? Utterly selfish and stupid. Eradicate those genes."
Next came the mentally ill.
"Mental illness has high recidivism and high social care costs. Just euthanasia."
"That's rational. They can't contribute productively anyway."
All with mental illnesses were euthanized.
"You're too short, aren't you?"
"Your face is kinda ugly."
"Your eyesight sucks."
"Yeah, let's all remove our reproductive functions."
Even those slightly physically deficient opted out of reproduction.
"It's rational. Passing a bad life to kids is selfish and irrational."
"Even if it's just possible, the risk exists—it could happen anytime."
A society where everyone was rational, everyone was smart, but everyone was poor, slow, and bored was complete.
[Make everyone rational and smart.]
But the wish of the one remaining monkey's paw wasn't over yet.
It could grant only one wish, but nearly omnipotently so.
[All people should be rational and smart.]
The one remaining monkey's paw granted Yoo Seong-yeol's wish exactly as stated.
Even if it meant transcending time and space.
"∴∇∬≫⊃!"
"℉㏄㎚㎕￠!"
Those treated as otherworldly became rational and smart too. Their lives became much like Earth's people.
"The day of action is finally here!"
And soon, it transcended time. Future humans, all rational and smart, drew the power of the one remaining monkey's paw to the past.
"Finally, time to enact our great undertaking against the Japanese bastards..."
"Hold up, halt the undertaking. Personal effort won't make Imperial Japan free Joseon. Don't throw away your life—act rationally and smartly. Just live ordinarily like everyone else."
It passed the Japanese colonial era.
"The king has fled!"
"If even the king's fled, why fight? Surrender."
"Yes, that's rational. No point dying stupidly."
It passed Joseon.
"The plague spreads."
"Kill everyone in that village. Mercy spreads plague—too costly. Treatment? Killing's faster and more rational."
And it kept extending into humanity's past.
"Airplanes? Why make them? Just walk. Wasting time and effort? The stupidest, most irrational thing. No."
"Blue mold? Ew, gross. What if I get sick? Not me. Someone else will do it."
"First aid? Why bother? Be careful before getting hurt. Injuries are for idiots."
Human progress vanished.
"Math? What's it for? Daily life's a bit inconvenient, but no big deal. Wasting time on math is irrational."
"Science? Hah! Study chemicals? Bad for your body! No!"
"Honor and glory don't feed you. Why bother?"
Academia vanished.
"......"
And kept rewinding upward...
"Ugh!"
70,000 years ago, the Toba supervolcano erupted.
"Ughhh!"
Modern humans' ancestors looked up at the sky. Volcanic ash blanketed Earth, ushering in a centuries-long ice age.
"Ugh?"
Humanity's remnants: a mere 50,000.
Normally, they'd desperately fight to survive, but they suddenly stopped.
"...Ugh!"
To make them rational and smart, the near-omnipotent one remaining monkey's paw infused them with knowledge.
Their numbers were only 50,000.
Genetic diversity required far more humans.
Lack thereof meant inevitable genetic diseases.
And the knowledge to understand it all, plus rational thinking, was imprinted in their brains.
"Ughhh!"
Modern humans' ancestors cried out.
"Ughhhh!"
We won't pass genetic diseases to descendants. Too cruel, unforgivable! How much suffering would they endure!
"Ughhh!"
We'll make the rational, smart choice!
The surviving modern human ancestors all leapt off cliffs.
Humanity's extinction.
'As expected of the one remaining monkey's paw.'
A monkey's paw that grants wishes without twisting them.
It even interprets vague wishes at the level the wisher envisions.
"How much for this?"
"Huh? Uh, 100,000 won?"
He pulled two 50,000-won bills from his wallet.
"No, twenty! 200,000 won!"
"Here."
He added two more and bought the one remaining monkey's paw.
"Thanks."
"O-oh, goodbye!"
Before leaving, he gave some advice.
"Humans are stupid."
"Pardon?"
"But that stupidity allowed humanity to progress this far."
"Uh, yes."
"Just something to keep in mind."
On the way out of the bazaar, near the apartment entrance, his mutter reached him.
"What the hell, still got middle school syndrome at that age? Cringe as fuck, idiot."
Cost to avert humanity's extinction.
Four 50,000-won bills.
A bit of verbal abuse.
"Rational."