Chapter 29
Chapter 29
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Gluttony
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Two weeks had passed since the Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation incident ended. The crisis of annihilation had been averted, and people went about their daily lives oblivious to the fact that such a crisis had even existed.
[So where'd that fascist constellation fuck off to?]
[Dunno? Haven't heard shit since it went apeshit like a lunatic last time.]
[Hey hey! The fascist constellation's streaming account and YouTube channel got blown up lololol]
[That's right. That's justice.]
The issue with Mr. Hyung Si-yeol had also been resolved. Or at least, it should have been.
[Ah, no fun! Why isn't the fascist constellation making excuses?! Throw more firewood on!]
[The epic event's already over ffs]
Other communities had stopped mentioning Mr. Hyung Si-yeol's story altogether. The only place still bringing it up was the internet streaming community, but even that was dying down, with new topics taking over to liven things up.
[This guy's hilarious lololol Tteolttaeo, Tteolttae only says shit outside but why's it so funny lol]
[Ah, BJ Tteolttaeo? Voice sounded like a girl's, probably voice mode right?]
└[Obviously voice mode, what girl in the world no-hits Dark Souls?]
[Gameplay is insane. Gotta get them to play LoL soon.]
[But the concept is retarded. Low-IQ gimmick? Plays games like a pro but sometimes acts like a real retard.]
└[Tteolttaeo~!]
In any case, Mr. Hyung Si-yeol's story no longer came up. I'd given him the golden ticket, so whatever wish he'd written down, things must have worked out for him.
"Solver! Thank you so much! Thanks to you, things are good with my girlfriend again!"
"I'm glad to hear that."
Of the remaining tickets, I'd given the regular ones to the customers who came to see me.
"But after using the ticket, my tastes kinda changed—what's that about? Is that okay?"
"Your tastes changed?"
"Yeah, like, I started liking stuff that suits women? My girlfriend likes getting hit now."
"Perfectly normal tastes. Masochism and sadism are common paraphilias, and studies show every human possesses traces of both tendencies."
Before handing over the tickets, I'd given them a few warnings.
"I wished for a lifetime job and my nephew gave me a 'Home Security Guard' nameplate."
"I wrote for 100 billion won and someone scattered Monopoly money in front of my house. Two hundred thousand 500,000-won Seed Bank bills."
"I asked to be made the smartest and most handsome person in the world, and I got a letter. 'In your parents' eyes, you are the world's greatest genius and heartthrob.' That's mockery, right?"
Over-the-top wishes wouldn't come true, so write realistic and modest ones—be specific with your wishes—I'd said it a million times, but most people ignored me.
"Uwaaaah! I wrote to stop worrying about hair loss and now my head's totally bald! What the hell?!"
"No hair left means no more hair loss worries, right?"
In any case, I'd distributed all the regular tickets to visitors, leaving just one golden ticket, which I kept safely in the safe.
'Someday it might come in handy.'
Today was another peaceful day like that. After counseling customers who wanted to go to another world and telling them to come back tomorrow, I got off work as usual.
'Something smells good.'
On the way home, the aroma of food wafting from the city streets made me decide on eating out, so I wandered the area. I entered a family restaurant that was moderately crowded but not packed and ordered a meal.
"One Hamburg steak, please."
"Yes! One Hamburg steak ordered."
While waiting for the food, I looked around.
"Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday dear Hayul~ Happy birthday to you~"
"Hayul, blow like this, okay?"
"Hoo!"
A couple celebrating their child's birthday and a blissfully happy kid.
"Ah, mock exam's fucked and now what about the CSAT? Only a few days left."
"Hey, two weeks left! Master one subject every two days!"
"R-right?"
High schoolers fretting over their futures.
"Kim, about that work this time—couldn't you handle it properly?"
"I'm sorry."
"Stop just apologizing every time. Do you know how frustrated I am to call you aside like this?"
A scolding boss and a groveling subordinate.
"Honey, can I have just one bite of that?"
"You're on a diet. Weren't you only eating salad?"
"Just one bite!"
A couple's siege warfare, one coveting the other's food and the other defending it. Enjoying these everyday scenes, my order arrived before I knew it.
"Enjoy your meal!"
The Hamburg steak was delicious. The meat was tender, the juices moist, and the sauce excellent.
'Want more.'
A tremendous desire boiled up, making me want to empty my wallet for seconds. I wanted to raise my hand right then, but I wiped my mouth with a napkin and held back.
'Can't do that. This is just right.'
Moderately full, with satiety at about 60%—perfect for staying active until bedtime.
Then, the commotion started.
"Hayul? That's enough, Mommy will eat the rest."
"No!"
"Ehey! Daddy's gotta eat it!"
"Waaah!"
The kid buried their face in the cake. The mother grabbed the child's nape, tossed them aside, then greedily devoured the cake herself. The father did the same, and the discarded kid crawled back to the table to lick the scraps they'd dropped on the floor.
"Haa, haa, fuck the CSAT, I'd die happy eating only this."
"Hehe, tasty."
The high schoolers kept chugging their drinks nonstop. Then they pressed their mouths to the refill soda machine and ran it constantly, filling their stomachs endlessly.
"Section Chief, this is too good!"
"Isn't it! Haha, all my anger's gone! Fuck work, eating's the best!"
The scolded office worker and berating boss threw down their utensils and shoved food in with both hands.
"What diet! Ghosts who die eating have the best complexion!"
"Good thinking!"
The couple plunged their snouts into the plates like pigs.
"Anyone need more food?"
"Me!"
"Here!"
"Here! Here!"
At the customers' orders, the waiter brought out massive trays piled with food.
'Fast.'
I glimpsed the kitchen through the briefly open door. Chefs were cooking at blurring speeds, and waitstaff shuttled food out nonstop.
"Heek, heek!"
"Omnom!"
"Huuk, huuk!"
No one used utensils. Mouths were no longer for communication—just organs for eating. They snout-dived into plates like pigs whose sole purpose in life was gorging.
'No reaction.'
The place was on the first floor with floor-to-ceiling glass, but passersby glanced at the chaos inside and walked on.
"Ahem."
Then, someone entered. A Western man in a suit with neatly combed blond hair—quite handsome.
"Ah, are you Mr. Lee Seung-hoon by any chance?"
He spoke to me.
"Yes, that's me."
"Aha! Nice to meet you. Allow me to introduce myself."
He handed me a business card.
[Lucifer Corporation
R&D General Manager
Beelzebub]
"Lucifer Corporation R&D Department General Manager, Beelzebub."
The man bowed politely and sat across from me.
"You can call me Baal for short."
"Oink!"
"Slurp!"
"Oiiiink!"
Pig squeals filled the restaurant. It had been clean, but now flies buzzed in one by one.
"Nice restaurant. It's been ages since I visited this dimension—I wondered how it'd changed, but it's developed a lot."
"You must have come a long time ago."
"Yes, quite. Last visit was... hmm, what year is it now?"
"2024."
"Right around then. 2024. Ah, could I order here?"
A waiter approached.
"Mumumumuwha-wha-wha."
"One cola, fries, and hmm, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon, want more? On me."
"No, I'm full enough."
"Then just these, please."
"Thathathankyou."
The waiter no longer smiled courteously—just moved like a serving robot.
"By the way, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon, I have a few questions."
"What is it? You said R&D General Manager, so you're here about product development, but I doubt I can help."
"Haha, consumer feedback is vital for better R&D too."
Baal opened a condiment jar on the table.
"Our company feels profound responsibility for you not using the contract to the end and reselling it midway. How much must you have disliked the product to sell it to a streetwalker with nowhere to go? This is unprecedented in Lucifer Corporation's history, so we upper management felt the need to ensure it never happens again."
"So you came to ask me directly."
Salt, pepper, chili powder, chicken stock—he scooped and ate them with his fingers the whole talk.
"Exactly. Customer, what didn't you like that made you stop using it?"
"Ea-ea-eating."
"Thank you. Here's a tip."
Even more flies swarmed the place. I watched them land on the food the customers were face-planting into, rubbing their legs.
"Fries are good. Ah, please continue. I'm listening."
Every fly buzzed toward Baal, like devotees praying to a god.
"The reason was simple: toxic clauses. Didn't like them, so I only used the trial and quit."
"Oh no, the trial! I told them not to skimp like that... Marketing only knows tricks—they have no clue about dev team's struggles!"
A stench wafted. Foul shit and piss smells filled the air, from the customers gorging like pigs.
"Any inconveniences during use? Please tell us—we'll reflect them."
"Inconveniences? Yes."
Flies swarmed toward them for the feast. The ones clinging to the customers' lower halves almost seemed to cover their crotches.
"First, auto-billing infringes on consumer rights."
"But..."
"In other dimensions, maybe, but not here."
"Hmm, noted."
"Second, this mess—you made it?"
He nodded with a smile.
"Yes, first time in ages here, so power flowed automatically. Nice sight, right? Humans in our dimension love it."
"They might in yours, but forcing it here is a crime. A company disrespecting local culture can't make good products."
"Oh dear..."
"Basic business."
"My mistake."
Without warning, every fly in the place vanished. Simultaneously, everyone snapped back to normal.
"Huh? What was I just..."
"Mommy, I pooped!"
"Ugh, uwaaaah!"
"Kyaaak! What the hell! Crazy!"
Chaos erupted. Outside, people pointed and gawked at the filth inside. Customers fled or hid in bathrooms; the waiter clutched their head moaning from headache; chefs stumbled out yelling on shaky legs.
"A-Ambulance!"
Commotion everywhere, but no one paid me or Baal any mind.
"Truly sorry. Meant to hype them up but caused a nuisance. Anyway, one question."
"What?"
"Customer, didn't gluttony hit you? Why didn't you eat more?"
No big deal.
"Got moderately full, satisfied, and stopped."
"Why?"
"Eating whenever you want, shitting whenever—that's no different from beasts."
"No one would complain."
I put a toothpick in my mouth instead of a smoke.
"I'm not a beast. I'm human."