Chapter 193
Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Toy Kingdom
"First off, let me ask: have we ever gotten married?"
The Rubber Duck gave no reply.
*That peculiar trait where it doesn't move or make a sound if you're watching it is still the same.*
When I closed my eyes, only then did the Rubber Duck finally start quacking.
『My mate! Don't you remember that we tied the knot of marriage?!』
"That's literally it. As far as my memory goes, we never had a wedding ceremony or filed marriage papers. Sure, those are just social formalities, so we could skip straight to a common-law relationship, but we've never even been intimate or had sex, have we?』
The most I'd done with the Rubber Duck was bathe together.
I'd never done anything weird with it.
『But we made kids! Three of them, even!』
"Kids?"
『Socrates! Kant! Confucius! Have you forgotten your own children too?!』
Looking around, the three siblings—Socrates, Kant, and Confucius—were gathered on the sofa, though I had no idea when they'd shown up.
"Those kids are ours?"
『Exactly! My mate has so many eccentric tendencies that I suppose I need to explain.』
The Rubber Duck launched into an explanation of why we were married.
『It started with curiosity.』
The Rubber Duck's hobby—and reason for living—was startling people.
But after meeting me, it failed to achieve that goal.
『Stubbornly, you were the first one not to flinch at my surprises. From then on, out of sheer spite, I stuck around this house to scare you.』
Normally, the Rubber Duck's pattern was to prank someone once and then flit off somewhere else.
Since I didn't react, it marked me as its rival and clung on until I did.
『...Shamelessly, whenever we bathed together, I felt strange. I wondered if this was love.』
"Falling in love that fast?"
『What duck wouldn't fall for the sight of rational nudity?!』
I'd thought Rubber Duck meant the rubber toy.
But maybe it was Lover Rubber Duck after all, one that fell in love easily.
『I, the Queen of Toy Kingdom, chose you as my cherished mate. So we could've had kids anytime, but while I wasn't looking, you made them on your own.』
"You can make kids without sex or any special ritual?"
『What are you talking about? Don't you make kids? When love blooms between spouses and hits a certain level, you make a toy—and that's your child. Mate, you're sorely lacking common sense.』
Oops. I'd been thinking too much like a human.
Toys had their own way of reproducing.
*I don't really love the Rubber Duck, though.*
I felt affection for it.
But it wasn't love—just possessiveness, wanting to keep a cute toy as my own.
*They say the desire to possess a loved one is part of love, so maybe it counts that as love.*
Anyway, now I understood why the Rubber Duck called me its mate.
If I applied the same ability to the kids I'd mentally "birthed," I could probably talk to them too.
"Doesn't work."
『Those kids are too young; their egos aren't fully formed yet. You have to wait until they mature.』
"Humans connect better the younger they are, like beasts, but toys are different, huh."
It seemed contradictory, but that was individuals for you.
"So how long?"
『Just until the acorn falls and bears fruit.』
"That's at least twenty years."
With things as they were, I had a bunch of questions.
"You mentioned being the 127th successor to Toy Kingdom earlier? So you're the queen?"
『Indeed! I am the 127th successor to Toy Kingdom, the valiant queen, mother to all, general who commands every toy, ruler of the toy realm—Rubber Duck!』
Fortune cookies had mentioned this.
"What kind of king was wise King George?"
『He was my father and a wooden puppet. Wisely, he devised a way to use humans to bolster our forces and spread it subtly! Thanks to him, Toy Kingdom's population reached its peak!』
New knowledge opportunities were coming.
"Winchester Duke's best friend? Not a person, right?"
『He's neither person nor toy, neither man nor woman, living nor inanimate. Just a courteous retainer and my friend.』
"A fascinating being."
I'd thought gaining beast powers to talk with animals was the opportunity.
"The godmother of Santa Claus?"
『When that rascal was in full puberty, I caught him and gave him a good scolding. Enlightened by my reprimand, he took on the grueling task of making toys for children worldwide!』
"Don't toys need to be made with love and affection?"
『Only special kids like ours. Ordinary toys can be made anytime.』
Talking with the Rubber Duck was the opportunity.
"Where's Toy Kingdom?"
『If you wish, I'll teach you how to build a passage there.』
I could go traveling.
『Um, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon?』
Love, who'd been quietly listening, spoke up.
『Married to Rubber Duck? Kids? What on earth are you talking about?!』
『To build a passage to Toy Kingdom, you'll need the following materials.』
112,700 LEGO 2x4 Brick pieces.
10,000 LEGO 6x6 Plate pieces.
50,000 LEGO 3x3 Tile pieces.
12,600 LEGO 2x2 Slope pieces.
『Use these to build the passage as I instruct.』
For a week, I diligently followed the Rubber Duck's directions.
『A bit more to the right there.』
『Mr. Lee Seung-hoon! Separate from that wicked duck!』
I had to heed instructions and soothe Love's complaints.
It was a busy week.
『It's complete!』
The finished passage was a LEGO model of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.
The one difference: an image of a duck gazing skyward, quacking "Honk!"
I hadn't added that image—when did it appear?
『Now just pass through the gate!』
"Shall we?"
We passed through the LEGO Arc de Triomphe.
In that instant, space shifted, and a small room smelling of formula appeared.
Children's picture books and alphabet primers on the bookshelf.
Letter charts in various languages on the walls.
Toy soldiers and dolls scattered on the floor.
『Behold! This is...』
"A daycare."
『Insolent fool! Don't mock Toy Kingdom!』
"Sorry."
No kids around, but it was clearly a daycare.
Why the formula smell without kids? A mystery.
『Behold my loyal subjects!』
Toy soldiers.
Plush bear dolls.
Toy trains.
Toy swords.
Toy bows.
Toy houses.
Nothing much to see in this room packed with assorted toys.
"These guys don't talk or move?"
I wanted to grant personification like in fairy tales, but most weren't animal-shaped, so it didn't stick.
Even the animal-shaped ones didn't respond, which was odd, so I asked—and got an answer.
『Toys not born special like me are bound by the Oath of Peace and Coexistence not to move in human spaces.』
"Oath of Peace and Coexistence?"
『A peace treaty and pact for prosperity between humans and toys.』
"Tell me more."
『It's secret under the treaty—I can't say!』
Too bad.
I was really curious. What kind of treaty? And with whom?
"Not even a hint?"
『If the oath breaks, humans and toys can no longer coexist. Even you, my mate, mustn't know!』
Cheater.
Keeping secrets to itself.
"Nothing to see here anyway—shall we head out?"
『Nothing to see?!』
"The kingdom's too small."
『This is all a sacrifice for choosing coexistence with humans!』
The Rubber Duck snapped indignantly.
『Mate, if you desire it, I shall expand Toy Kingdom.』
"Invade the human world? But you made the oath of peace and coexistence."
『For love, even oaths can be broken. A privilege granted only to royalty like me.』
"So how? Fight humans?"
Considering the Rubber Duck's power... hmm.
If the mightiest general's power was just yelling, what about the other toys?
『If that's your wish.』
The Rubber Duck said gravely.
『I shall put the world in your hands!』
Right after the Rubber Duck's declaration.
Toys across the world vibrated 1mm.
*'Her Majesty's will is conveyed.'*
Toys children played with lit up their eyes.
*'A will to conquer the world!'*
A tiny bear doll hardened its resolve.
*'Just give the order, Your Majesty! I'll shake my hips in a dance and make them fall head over heels for me!'*
Then I'll manipulate those smitten humans into eating candy and snacks instead of meals!
*'Candy and snacks for meals will cause cavities! Then off to the terrifying dentist they go!'*
Nor was it just the bear doll.
Toys no longer meant just dolls or playthings.
In modern society, where adults played with toys as hobbies and entertainment expanded, the scope of "toys" was incomparably vast compared to the past.
『My sword is yours!』
A game where you controlled digital characters.
Games counted as toys too.
*'Her Majesty's command! Chance to subdue this arrogant summoner!'*
A sword-wielding AOS game character secretly glared at its human controller.
*'When Her Majesty's order comes, I won't follow your controls precisely!'*
Enemy attacks will land.
My attacks will miss.
Keep that up, and you'll stress-bald!
"Ah! I dodged! Why! What the hell! I dodged! Dodged and still hit! Bug?!"
Not even started yet?
Just your skill.
"Whew, almost out."
If games were modern toys.
Computers were too.
Even without games—for videos, communities, etc.—computers were playthings in leisure life, thus toys in Toy Kingdom.
*'Heh heh, diligently writing that report? When Her Majesty's command drops, power off instantly.'*
Save? What's that?
Your all-day work report at the office? Gone from this world!
*'And blast that last porn you viewed to everyone in your contacts via messenger!'*
I'll ruin your social rep!
This way, all toys prepared for invasion.
*'Better pleasure than real life—I'll make sure you never seek a woman again!'*
*'Better pleasure than real life—I'll make sure you never seek a man again!'*
Adult toys too.
*'Hee hee, scrape the wall a bit in the corner! You're precious to him, but Her Majesty's command comes first!'*
*'Kahaha! Drop highway mileage to 1km per liter! You'll go bankrupt on gas!'*
Real cars, adult toys.
*'Hee hee hee! From now on, casings are lost!'*
*'No matter how much you shoot, no hits? Even point-blank misses!'*
Soldiers' toys: guns.
Toys worldwide awaited the queen's command.
And somewhere in the Arctic.
Untouched by human eyes.
A secret space invisible to humans.
『San-ta Gran-dad-dy.』
A worn phonograph played a carol.
『Knowwwws.』
A blood-smeared giant elder's eyes gleamed.
Sitting on a massive sofa that looked small, the elder stroked a nearby reindeer.
『Whooo's been.』
The reindeer's head felt peanut-small in his palm.
The red-nosed reindeer trembled in deathly fear, tears streaming.
『Naugh-ty or.』
The poor-quality phonograph spat the last lyric and stopped.
『Nice. He'll vis-it to-night.』
The elder grabbed a handful of scrap metal piles beside him.
He chewed and spat it out—to produce a shiny new toy car (self-drivable, max speed 10km/h, ages under 10, MSRP 900,000 won).
"Rudolph."
His phlegmy voice startled the red-nosed reindeer, who lifted its head mid-sob.
"Signal from godmother."
The elder grinned broadly.
For some reason, it reeked of blood.
"This Christmas, we might conquer the world."
"No, it's fine. I'm satisfied as is."
『Then I'll cancel it.』