Chapter 134
Chapter 134
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Mr. Ando
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Mid-July, in the peak of the sweltering heat.
I sat on the porch, enjoying a book amid the ceaseless cries of cicadas that made it feel like autumn was still far away.
"Peaceful and nice."
The Foundation had handled all the cleanup for the Dangjin Lee clan.
The survivors had their memories erased and replaced with false ones, allowing them to start new lives, while every trace of the Dangjin Lees was wiped from reality and the internet.
"With global warming resolved, this shouldn't happen again."
The minor issue of the technology being politically exploited due to its hasty release wasn't surprising—politics was never quiet, after all.
Even a gradual rollout would have ended up the same way.
"And the wall-mounted TV's punishment is over too."
I cracked open the Zero Cola beside me, and the fizzing sound rang out.
No more flat or lukewarm drinks—the crisp carbonation blasted away the muggy heat.
"Global warming's fixed, but Korean summers are still brutally hot."
With everything settled, this was my well-deserved rest.
I'd keep the office closed for a while and enjoy a relaxing vacation at home.
"Quack!"
"Yeah, you're feeling the cool too, huh?"
I closed the book and played with the rubber duck in the portable pool I'd set up in the backyard before heading back inside.
"Hm? A prophecy?"
As I was drying off, the wall-mounted TV turned on by itself.
I expected the familiar anchor, but instead, an ad popped up.
"Animation?"
I shook out my hair and plopped down on the sofa.
"Is the background old America?"
The art style evoked Tom and Jerry from the 1940s or '50s.
It showed a glamorous evening cityscape in a vintage American cartoon style.
"And the music's that classic vibe from the era."
Not Earth—the lettering on some buildings wasn't any earthly language.
But it was one I could read.
[Planet Destruction Company]
[Soul Exploitation Seasoning Restaurant]
[Dimensional Construction Firm]
[Time Travel – Day Trips Available –]
Cosmic common tongue.
Or the language of the transcendents.
Impossible to speak or write, but readable, with meanings that conveyed themselves instantly.
"The scene shifts."
After a quick pan of the city, the animation zoomed in on a specific building.
The moment its massive sign—spanning dozens of stories—lit up, I instantly understood why this was playing.
[Mr. Ando's Fantasy Restaurant]
Looks like they'd figured out I was the one who ruined their dish.
A crowd of beings lined up in front of the restaurant.
Humans were among them, but so were non-humans.
A monster like a big-mouthed anglerfish.
A monster like a helmet gurnard.
A monster with three heads—one smoking a cigarette, one puffing a pipe, and the last glaring at the other two.
Even the human-looking ones probably weren't human.
The line was so long it wrapped around the city block, the planet multiple times—endless.
"Cartoonish exaggeration? Or real?"
The screen cut inside the restaurant.
Various patrons appeared, including one that looked familiar.
"No way?"
A blue moon character with swirling eyes, arms, and legs was laughing maniacally, devouring food with both hands.
"You! Ruler of Gluttony! First Step of Life! Master of All Culinary Arts! Primordial Horn! Dawn of Instinct! Delicious! Bring more food!"
His table was a mess of demolished dishes.
"The other customers aren't normal either. Some I recognize."
A gold bar with arms, legs, and features twirled pasta made of gold onto a fork, just like the blue moon.
"Gold-ding!"
A red-eyed man with black angel wings sipped wine.
"Damn Creator, how long will you hide in seclusion? Come see the hell I made!"
A bald man with dollar-sign eyes meticulously inspected a steak chunk on his fork.
"If I could franchise this..."
A girl with closed eyes ate an omelet topped with a flag, then turned toward the screen.
"Artisans hate when their domain's invaded. You're in deep trouble."
Others appeared briefly before the screen moved on.
"Ehem~♪"
"Uhoohoo~♬"
The kitchen.
Humanoid and non-humanoid chefs bustled about.
The classic music faded, replaced by upbeat, lively tunes as they sang along.
"Chop and slice and pound and mash~♬"
"Mash and stir-fry and steam and bake~♪"
"Bake and fry and boil and blanch~♬"
"Blanch and deep-fry and cook and create~♪"
They sang without missing a beat in their cooking.
"Any ingredient in the world can be cooked~♪"
"Any being in the world can be satisfied~♬"
"No chef in the world can match him~♪"
"Where in the world is such a place? Where in the world is such a chef?"
"It's right here~♬"
Someone burst through the kitchen door.
"Mr. Ando's Fantasy Restaurant~~~♬♬♬"
A pig in a tall chef's hat flashed grinning teeth, bouncing around as it belted out the song.
"Mr. Ando can cook anything~♪"
The pig reached out.
An onion diced itself into a delicious veggie stir-fry in seconds.
"Humans, objects, animals, individuals, universes, dimensions, planets, time, germs, senses, concepts—anything in Mr. Ando's hands turns to cuisine~♬"
The pig reached out.
It unscrewed the skull of a human used as an ingredient, scooped out the brain, and whipped up mouthwatering pasta.
"Everyone satisfied, cheering for fantasy dishes they've never tasted~♪"
The pig reached out.
A bead containing a universe shattered in its hand, transforming into a bowl of soup.
"Everyone craves Mr. Ando's cooking~♬"
"Cook! Bring out the food!"
The blue moon character barged into the singing kitchen.
The pig grabbed its drunken, staggering butt and kicked it flying out into the alley, where it crashed and passed out.
"No tolerance for troublemakers~♬"
"No tolerance for kitchen disruptors~♪"
The song stopped.
"So."
The chef pig stared coldly at the screen.
"Brace yourself, rookie."
The broadcast ended. The black screen reflected only my face.
"That pig must be Mr. Ando the chef."
I had no idea of its true form.
That was just old American cartoon stylization.
"First time one's openly hostile toward me."
Sure, there'd been the Hell Train conductor, the Dangjin Lees' heart poison, the Highway Hooligans—but this was different.
"From the blue moon's words, a primordial being?"
Even accounting for cartoon exaggeration, kicking the blue moon away showed it was no ordinary entity.
"Only one thing I can do."
Survive with everything I've got.
That's it.
My planned vacation: two weeks.
With time left, I sought info on Ando.
"Mr. Ando the chef is the greatest cook. Many of our clients collect his products. Lee Seung-hoon once traded with one."
First, the shady dealer.
She'd taken spider beastkin form—definitely more feminine now.
"He's known as a chef who satisfies any patron with any ingredient. That's all I know. He's too popular to meet directly. Even booking now means a 100,000-year wait."
"That long?"
"Rumors say special beings skip the line, but just rumors."
The shady dealer didn't know much.
"Isn't Ando the one behind those cooking-related products?"
"You know him."
"The Foundation holds a few. Some dangerous depending on use, but all useful in our cafeteria."
Kim Dong-wook knew little too.
"Info on Mr. Ando the chef: 1 ton of gold per sea."
"Too much."
Even Golden Almighty Inc. couldn't help.
[Reward: Info on Mr. Ando Chef]
[Mission: Walk Across the Universe]
[Duration: 1 vigintillion years]
Reverse quest tickets were the same.
The Forgotten Alchemist's Equivalent Exchange Scale demanded similar, and combining them wanted 1 googolplex won—forget it.
"No extra info after all. Gotta face him blind."
Baal? More debt, no. Eastern Hell's Karma Call Center? Still busy, no contact.
"Time to reopen the office."
Vacation over, office open.
Helping a few clients, I noticed an amusing change.
"I wanna go to another world so bad. But risky ones? Nah, I'll take the center of the world."
"Then why come here?"
"No idea."
Isekai transfer users came wanting it, but rejected real isekai.
Post-center of the world change—even pre-vacation.
The fun part: the isekai transfer itself.
Transfer now for MASSIVE Magic Awakening Chance UP! UP! UP!
Awakening odds: a whopping 50%!
Plus squishy happy-happy isekai odds up to 50%—huge loss leader!
Boss is nuts!
Extra: Special Birth odds (Elf, Vampire, Beastkin, Demon, Dwarf, Dragon) a whopping 50%!
Transfer NOW!★
Such aggressive discounts.
Wuxia unchanged, for reference.
"Wuxia draws only the dedicated."
True challengers stuck to wuxia despite the center.
"Real? 50% chance to be a munchkin harem power fantasy protag?"
"Probability only."
"I'm in!"
It worked—today's challenger.
[2,779. Kim Bo-seong (30), Deceased, ★50% Winner★: Former Everyman, transferred to squishy happy-happy isekai, awakened magic, born high elf. But arrogance and brutality grew; discriminated against fellow elves, murdered casually with power. World Tree punished directly—buried alive, became forest fertilizer, suffocated.]
"Oof."
Luck matters, but so do choices.
First squishy happy-happy winner to die.
"Hello. Do you do counseling?"
"Yes, of course. What's troubling you?"
A few days later.
"It's... about webnovels."
"Webnovels?"
"Yeah."
Another isekai specialist arrived.
The client showed their phone screen.
Title: *Surviving as a Black-Haired Munchkin Martial Arts Thai Boxer in Another World*, cover art of a tanned muscular guy in Muay Thai stance.
"Pro webnovel author here. Need advice on plotting."