Chapter 106
Chapter 106
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Internet Hell
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**Internet Hell**
-Internet Hell is one of the newly created hells where they've changed the foundational principles and added new laws!
Sins committed online are still sins.
Thanks to that, it feels like I've racked up a ton of bad karma, since the internet makes it so easy to pile it on.
-At first, they just threw people who built up bad karma online into the existing hells! But then ridiculous things kept happening. For example, sticking a serial killer who'd murdered twenty people in the same hell as some troll who'd posted over ten thousand malicious comments online.
At first, even hell was divided on the issue.
-Bad karma is bad karma, so who cares. No! Sins committed with words need to be separated! There was a huge debate for a while, and hell got so heated it was burning even without the flames!
After ten years of debate, they finally concluded: "Let's establish a separate hell for sinners who committed their crimes online!"
-And that's how Internet Hell was born!
I haven't died yet.
But as a premium customer of the Karma Call Center, the Ultra Supreme King insisted on giving me a special preview experience, since there's always the chance I'll rack up more bad karma online.
"Can I experience it right away?"
-No! You'll have to wait a week. A week from now is New Year's Day, right? The gates of hell open for two days starting then. Come by then!
"Where do I go?"
-Just sleep normally, and we'll temporarily send your soul to hell!
What kind of place is Internet Hell?
My curiosity bubbled over, and I accepted.
"Then I guess that means a week of rest."
Now I can finally get some proper downtime.
Ding-dong!
I'd thought that, but another visitor showed up.
"Pudding, please!"
"...How did you find your way here?"
It was Frankenstein-kun.
＊＊＊
Frankenstein-kun had suddenly shown up at my house.
Looking about seven or eight years old, even younger than before.
A choker of unknown meaning around her neck.
And a single letter clutched in her hand.
"Can I have the letter?"
"Yep!"
When I asked, she handed over the letter she'd been gripping tightly even while scarfing down pudding.
[To the one reading this letter.]
[How do you do! Good morning! If you're wondering who I am, it's Dr. Janus!
If you're reading this, it means my invention "Please Raise Me! The Perfect Master Guide!" has activated properly!
What's that, you ask? Just what it says—a gadget that guides the wearer of this choker to the most outstanding master who can raise them better than anyone!
Unfortunately, an unavoidable incident occurred at the lab, and I don't even have money left to feed our Frankenstein-kun!
This has happened before, and when I starved her roughly, she went berserk and doubled the length of our lean times!
To prevent that, I'm looking for a temporary guardian master for Frankenstein-kun!
Don't worry! I've removed all the dangerous inventions!
I've only left in the core functions built from the start to let her protect herself in emergencies!
Until the lab's finances recover—about half a year from now.
Please, just take care of our Frankenstein-kun until then!
P.S. To cut down on energy consumption, I've set her default appearance to juvenile mode!
Now she only needs 187,500 kcal a day!
I'll make it worth your while later, so I appreciate it!
-Dr. Janus]
So that's the situation.
"Come here, kiddo."
"Yep!"
I'm the perfect guardian, huh?
For starters, she looked filthy, so I stripped her clothes off to give her a bath.
Bam! The moment I got all her clothes off, Dr. Janus's voice emanated from the connector at the nape of Frankenstein-kun's neck. Hahaha! Surprised? Frankenstein "kun" but she's a girl? Boyish girls are the truth! If you don't get that, you're no good guardian! After washing her squeaky clean, I left her for a bit and headed out to buy some girls' clothes.
"Love, take us to Love Mart." Yes. I put her in the car and headed to Love Mart, then created a new position.
"I'm hiring staff to look after this child."
"Yes?"
"Just raise her well. Feed her whatever she wants to eat, let her play whatever she wants to play."
Rumors flew like: Is she the chairman's secret daughter!? An illegitimate child not acknowledged by the legal wife!?
I ignored them. "Sorry, but I'm not confident I can raise people well." The limit of what I can raise is about up to the Seven Disciples. "I'll come visit when I'm bored. You can settle in here okay?" "Lots of pudding?" "Lots." "Then sure!" We'd only just met, so no way any attachment had formed.
Frankenstein-kun nodded, accepting her new situation. 'But will this count as an entity?' Maybe I could trade her to that shady dealer for something?
But anticipating Dr. Janus's retaliation, I gave up on the idea. "It's the day." Time flew by.
The week passed in a flash, and New Year's Day—the one the Ultra Supreme King mentioned—had arrived. 'Just sleep like this, and it'll happen,' I thought. A few minutes before midnight, I finished a warm shower and lay down in bed.
I closed my eyes, hands clasped, and within seconds, a chilling sensation crawled up my spine. "......" When I opened my eyes again, a garish signboard asserting itself was right in front of me.
[Welcome to Internet Hell!]
What kind of place is this?
I stepped inside, and in what looked like an arena, a man was sniffling and on the verge of tears.
"Fuck, fuck! How do you even win this!"
A man holding a single dagger faced off against a burly goblin wielding something else.
"How the hell do you beat a baseball bat with a dagger!"
I get it now.
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Dagger vs. baseball bat.
One of the staple matchups in those endless online community "vs." debates that users stir up when bored.
The man in front of me was experiencing it for real.
'There's something above his head.' A hazy shape floated over the man's head.
Focusing on it let me read the post that explained why he was being punished here.
[Dagger vs. Bat: Obviously the dagger wins, right?]
[How do you not get something this simple? The bat has more reach so it can't win? Normal people can't even swing a bat properly.]
[Assuming both are normal people, anyone would flinch at the sight of a knife. Their body stiffens, reaction time slows, they can't swing properly.]
[With a dagger? Just holding a time-honored bladed weapon boosts your confidence and courage to win.]
[Answer's right there already, huh? So you duck your upper body to dodge the bat and charge. Easily evade the slow-ass normal person's swing, and once you're in close, the bat's just a hindrance, not a weapon. Stab the carotid, heart, lungs, kidneys, liver—vital spots! Win! So fucking easy, why don't you get it? Genuinely curious, batfags.]
[Batfags always go "What if it's Lee Dae-ho swinging?" "What if it's Ohtani?" Duh, we're talking normal people.]
He'd ranted at length on a topic guaranteed to rile up the community, forcing his point through.
Other posts showed him flaming people who predicted the bat would win, committing the sin of profanity too.
'But to end up in hell for something this minor—did he have zero good karma?' Looking closer at his record, a mountain of pending sins awaited. [View other posts by sinner 'Kim Jin-woo']
[Sin of Bait: Protein thief pic, you part-timer? Up for 1 min only!]
[Sin of Lying: I saw it coming from that guy ages ago. Right from the start of the stream, he was looking down on viewers like "I'ma suck your money dry and bounce lol".]
[Sin of Verbal Abuse: How's your mom doing, still alive? Must've been thrilled slurping miso soup after birthing trash like you. Poor thing, maybe she choked on it?]
[Additional posts +999,999] Well, sins on the internet are black-and-white.
You either use communities lightly—without sinning, just for info or videos as mealtime companions.
Or you get devoured by the internet's depths, living in the cyber world like it's reality. "Most sinners here must be the latter." The man ultimately couldn't beat the baseball bat—his head got smashed.
But since it's already hell, he revived in the blink of an eye and faced the goblin with the bat again. "Please! Just end it!" Looks like it keeps going until he wins.
I checked out other areas. "Food... food......" Starving people, leashed like dogs, crawled toward distant plates.
Steam rose invitingly from braised short ribs, jjajangmyeon, pizza, sweet-and-sour pork, pork cutlet—but their chains were wrapped around cart wheels. "Please... just one bite......" The chains only unwound with all their strength.
Even then, a timer sat on the wheel, implying it'd reset once it hit zero. "Almost... there... this time... for sure......" Among the masses, one reached a plate.
Within arm's reach.
But as the sinner stretched out his hand, a wall shot up, blocking him.
Still paying for sex? Lonely housewives await your call.
"Get... out!"
A tiny [X] button sat in the top-right corner; pressing it made the wall vanish.
"Please!"
Just apply for unbelievable length and girth! Experience the miracle yourself!
The walls kept popping up relentlessly.
Order now for free gifts!
Spray, wipe—body hair gone! See the miracle!
Pores clogged with blackheads? One dab of ointment, scars gone!
Then he accidentally touched a wall instead of the tiny [X].
Instantly, endless walls surged up, blocking the sinner.
My lady! I'm innocent! Boo hoo! Save me! Ultimate beauty rescue Or kill and get another babe
Whoa! +9 Dragon Sword no-spend! Try now! Gold flows, growth explodes!
Hi, housewife here. Invested 1 hour a day for a week—earned 3 mil!
He frantically closed the horde of walls, but time ran out. The wheel wound back, dragging the sinner to the start.
'There's an explanation here.' Looking around, I spotted a sign at the arena entrance.
[Punishment for those who polluted the internet waters with fake ads and deceived others. The creators of fake ads suffer for fraud in other hells. Those here knew the ads were lies yet spammed them endlessly, ruining cyber world's rules.]
"I see how this works now."
Sins are cyber.
Punishments are cyber.
"So that's why it's Internet Hell."
Alright, what else is there? Let's take a closer look.