373. Aftereffects
373. Aftereffects
***
—3.
Before the forced logout could happen, Serin ended Another World on her own.
And now.
"......"
After disconnecting, she simply stayed still inside the dark capsule. She sat there, motionless, as if killing time, endlessly lingering.
Now that a moment had come when she didn't have to respond to anyone's gaze, reactions, or questions.
Unlike usual, her expression was utterly indifferent.
Her distinctive blue eyes had gone blank, as if all emotion had died, and her body sagged against the capsule as though she had no strength left at all.
"..."
Her lips twitched as if to speak, but she closed them again.
She couldn't tell how long it had been since she disconnected, but she truly didn't want to do anything.
Normally, after ending a stream, she would have gotten up and gone out to the living room where Seoyun would be. Instead, she just stared blankly into the dark capsule.
An indescribable, immense sense of lethargy and emptiness seemed to dominate her body.
'...Why. Why am I like this?'
Suddenly, my body didn't feel like my own.
Only words like ennui, emptiness, void came to mind.
The memories of that blank time when I had surrendered my body to the Heavenly Demon kept churning in my head, and the actions she had taken during that period surfaced intact.
Every single one of them was like a massive wave, something that would inevitably require cleanup... only faint sighs kept leaking out.
'How am I supposed to explain this to Sua and Yujeong...'
The fact that I was called a Grand Duke, the techniques Cheon Ryuhwa displayed, the overwhelming divine presence she showed while facing Zervallua alone, the footage that would be uploaded for the project... As my thoughts reached these things, none of them felt light.
A dry laugh soon rose to my lips.
"..."
Then, as the image of Cheon Ryuhwa facing Zervallua flickered past, I swept my hair back out of habit.
That was, quite literally, overwhelming skill worthy of the infamous title "Heavenly Demon." There was no other way to explain it.
'So my body is capable of movements like that.'
A small sense of admiration escaped me anew.
From the moment Zervallua changed its movements as if wielding a sword, every instant had been directly tied to death.
The emotions Cheon Ryuhwa had felt then were transmitted to me intact.
What emotions and thoughts she had held as she swung her sword and used her techniques.
No, it wasn't simply a matter of memories resurfacing.
It felt vivid, as if I had experienced it myself.
And the moment I realized that, I felt as though something in my head had shattered.
"...So. That's what it was?"
Why I was feeling so empty and hollow right now, why I was in this state. I felt like I understood the reason.
As the scene of Cheon Ryuhwa pausing to look at her hands overlapped, and even the emotion she had felt in that moment followed, I knew the answer.
'Assimilation.'
This immense emptiness I was feeling now was the emotion Cheon Ryuhwa had experienced at the very end.
Up until the moment she faced Zervallua, she had held various emotions. But the vast, dense emotion she had felt just before returning my body to me—if that emotion was wrapping around me so tenaciously.
Then everything made sense.
...
Even I couldn't say exactly how much longer I stayed inside the capsule.
But gradually, as if dead emotions were reviving, the dense emptiness began to recede, and I slowly climbed out of the capsule.
"If I call her again... it might be dangerous."
Feeling my emotions settling back into place, those words slipped out.
Her thoughts and emotions were clearly affecting me.
I realized what that meant, and how dangerous it was.
The Absolute Boundary that only three people in Black Ark had ever reached.
For the thoughts of someone who had reached a realm completely different from ordinary people to influence me—that in itself was like a massive ripple spreading across a small lake.
Just as I had been moments ago. I couldn't maintain myself fully.
'If that state had continued any longer...'
How dangerous would it have been? It felt like goosebumps were rising all over my body.
Slide.
As I pulled myself together for a moment, a thick, sticky fatigue pressing down on my whole body made my eyes furrow on their own.
"...Ugh."
Shaking my head at the fatigue I hadn't felt in a long time, I moved my arms and legs a little. Even just walking for a moment, my body felt stiff, as if it had been strained.
Then my gaze drifted to my smartphone, its screen glowing brightly.
BaTalk!
As soon as I picked up the phone, a notification rang. When I checked, messages from several people had arrived.
The BaTalk that had just arrived was from Sua.
Sua.
[Serin. Can't you just send me a quick message saying you're okay? Even a one-word reply. I'm really, really worried]
The message seemed so loaded with meaning that I checked the previous messages, and Sua had already sent several.
Sua.
[Serin, you really worked so hard today!]
[Are you feeling okay? I feel like we pushed the schedule too hard... I think I wasn't thorough enough]
[Get plenty of rest today, and let's meet tomorrow to look at the rewards together!]
[Serin. You don't have something wrong with your body, right...? You weren't answering, so I was wondering if something happened...]
She had sent messages full of worry every ten minutes. Seeing that, a smile different from before escaped me without realizing.
"Sua, seriously... why does she worry so much."
Even as I said that, I could feel how much she cared, and I was grateful for it.
Me.
[I'm fine, so don't worry too much. You worked hard today too. I just spaced out for a bit, so I replied late. Were you really that worried?]
After sending a reply right away, I checked the other messages. Most of them were from Hayoon and Soyul.
The messages were all about how much they enjoyed today's raid and how excited they already were about the video editing work ahead.
Seeing that, I felt a bit apologetic for no reason.
"Even if we can't do Phase 5, we'll probably have to cut more than half of it."
I did have to upload footage of Phase 5, the final phase about Zervallua, for the Five Million Project. But obviously, I couldn't upload it as-is.
I would have to talk to Sua about it—it was practically mandatory.
How to handle the way I appeared in Phase 5.
Cheon Ryuhwa, who had dwelled within me. No matter how favorably I explained or made excuses, there was no way anyone would accept her appearance.
The unusual techniques she used were one thing, but more than anything, my entire demeanor had completely changed.
'This one...'
As I recalled Cheon Ryuhwa's distinctive way of speaking, referring to herself as "this one," my hands and feet twitched involuntarily.
For the real Cheon Ryuhwa, speaking like that was perfectly natural. She was a woman who spoke that way from beginning to end, and she held a position where she could speak like that.
But... from a third party's perspective, no matter who saw it, it just looked like I was the one saying it.
Right. Not Cheon Ryuhwa. It would look like I, Han Serin, was referring to myself as "this one."
"...Ugh."
A suppressed groan escaped just from thinking about it.
Heat rose to my face now, and I was afraid of how to face Sua and Yujeong tomorrow.
'Split personality? Or a lunatic... they're definitely going to look at me like I'm crazy.'
Probably, when the raid ended, even if the two of them didn't say anything out loud, it wouldn't have been strange at all if they had looked at me that way.
"Ha. I really must have lost my mind..."
The more I thought about it, the harder it was to understand why I had called Cheon Ryuhwa, even for myself.
A few weeks ago, when I faced Daji, I had used it thinking it might be possible, and I had been wary of it. Yet here I was, calling her again.
Moreover, unlike that time, I had used it even with Sua and Yujeong present. That could only be described as having completely lost my mind.
"Hoo..."
Letting out a deep sigh that rose from my chest, I buried my face in both hands and recalled that moment.
That instant. Looking back, I gradually came to realize why I had acted that way.
Because... Sua had died to Zervallua's Gluttony.
In that moment, I couldn't control my emotions.
Even knowing it was Another World, I wanted to kill Zervallua no matter what.
So I had called upon the most certain means—the Heavenly Demon. That was why I had summoned her again.
...As my thoughts settled, my heart felt a little lighter than before.
"Still, really... thank goodness."
Setting aside those worries, Sua didn't seem to have any problems.
Because Another World wasn't an ordinary game.
And as strange situations kept occurring around me, I had worried whether something might happen to the two people who had run the raid with me.
Partway through, I had kept worrying about that, even if it was a one-in-a-million chance.
Whether it might have some small effect on reality.
As I kept thinking, I suddenly blinked blankly.
"There's no way... that could happen."
What kind of ridiculous thought was I having?
Something experienced in Another World affecting actual reality—that was absurd.
And I, who was at the center of it all, was perfectly fine.......
"...!"
Mid-thought, I raised my hands and moved my legs. I immediately began checking my body with small movements.
My body was heavy as waterlogged cotton from the deep fatigue, but I couldn't help checking whether something was wrong.
After moving around for a bit, I felt a little relieved. The fatigue made it a bit confusing, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with my body itself.
But just moments ago, I had been swept up as if drowning in the emotions from the moment Cheon Ryuhwa had dwelled within me.
The moment I realized that... I couldn't say there was no influence.
"The biggest thing I can think of right now is the mental aspect. And that... there's no choice but to take it slowly and give myself time."
Right now, I could say with certainty that this was completely different from when I had used Descent while facing Daji.
It wasn't the format where memories flowed in after a certain amount of time passed.
The moment Descent ended, I received every memory of the time Cheon Ryuhwa had spent in my body.
And not just at the level of recalling past memories—I could feel even the emotions from that time vividly.
Thinking about it now, when the raid ended, I had barely managed to control myself in front of the two of them.
$%!
The endless stream of thoughts was cut off by a loud ringtone.
When I looked at the caller, it was Sua.
"Why is she calling."
I spoke lightly, but... I couldn't answer the call right away.
If Sua asked anything about today's raid, how was I supposed to answer?
My head, which had felt a little lighter, grew complicated again.
$%!
$%.!
The ringtone kept ringing.
Taking a small breath, I brought the phone to my ear.
"...Yeah. Sua."