18. I'm Not a Crazy Bitch - (5)
18. I'm Not a Crazy Bitch - (5)
***
Looking back over her own actions from these past few days, she found it strangely fascinating.
Overreacting to a streamer's appearance and sending chat messages that even she considered toxic.
Letting her emotions get the better of her over community posts accusing her of hacking, as if she couldn't control herself.
Actually, thinking back, she felt as though she had been openly displaying her emotions ever since she first landed in this world.
She laughed easily at trivial things and got angry over things she could just as easily have ignored or let slide.
As if she were a "normal" person, she was feeling emotions far too easily.
It even felt as though something called emotion had been breathed into her chest, like sweet rain soaking into parched earth.
'...'
In the world of Black Ark, even when people died in front of her, she had not so much as blinked, and apart from killing monsters and adventuring through the world, she had not formed any real human connections.
Whether they had been actual people or NPCs imitating people, she still couldn't know even now, but she had simply lived alone.
But her current self was clearly different somehow.
As if she might collapse under the immense sense of loss from having everything she had achieved and possessed in the world of Black Ark stripped away overnight, there had certainly been a version of herself at first who hated some unknown existence and viewed this reality itself negatively.
In the end, she was now gradually adapting to this world.
She was trying to live as normally as possible, almost as if she were changing herself to fit the circumstances she had been given.
And her current self, living with an interest in games again, seemed to be gradually returning to the person she had been when she enjoyed games in the past, rather than the person she had been in the world of Black Ark.
As if, in the end, she were finding herself again in a way that fit her new environment.
She had ended up reflecting on herself at an unexpected moment.
And all because of a completely unexpected question.
After finishing her brief thoughts, Serin slowly opened her mouth.
"The user called Rin is just... a fascinating user, I think."
"A fascinating user?"
"Don't you think so too, Sua? They're a user who appeared out of nowhere, like they dropped from the sky."
"Well... that's true. Their extraordinary skill is one thing, and their appearance too—everything about them is fascinating."
She said this while looking into Serin's eyes at the mention of appearance, and only then did Serin begin to guess why this person named Sua had followed her.
The way she had suddenly brought up Another World while saying she played games. The way she had played a NewTube video on her phone to show her about the user called Rin.
In the end, the appearance of the user called Rin was exactly the current "me." So it made sense that this woman named Sua would take an interest in her.
So Serin opened her mouth to resolve the biggest question that this woman named Sua must be feeling right now.
"The more you look at the user called Rin, the more they resemble me, right?"
As Serin spoke while lightly brushing back her silver hair, Sua's face brightened as if this was exactly what she had wanted to say, and she nodded repeatedly.
"Yes, exactly! Actually, Serin, you know what. I really wasn't trying to stalk you or anything... The reason I followed you was because you resemble them so, so much that I wondered if you might be the user called Rin yourself, or if you might know the user called Rin. That's why I did it. If I made you uncomfortable, I'm truly sorry, but... this is really my honest truth!"
As Sua poured out her impassioned words as if there were not a single lie in them, Serin now completely relaxed her expression and gave a small nod.
"Well, I can understand that. But what can I say? I have no connection to the user called 'Rin.'"
So she had become somewhat famous among users who played Another World. But was that a good thing? Serin wondered.
So for now, she decided to deny it to Sua—to insist that the player Rin was not her.
"Ah! I-is that so? Then what about the user called Rin's appearance...? Their character customization was done to look like a complete copy of your appearance, Serin."
Sua tilted her head quizzically even as she looked at Serin's silver hair and face.
"Maybe they just saw my appearance somewhere and copied it?"
"They copied you after seeing you... What you’re saying does make sense. Wow. But if that’s true, doesn’t that make this kind of serious?"
Sua, who had believed Serin's words without a shred of doubt, murmured cautiously with a serious expression.
"Serious?"
"No, I mean, if what you say is true, then the user called 'Rin' just saw you and put painstaking effort into creating a character that copies your appearance exactly, right? The more I think about it, the scarier it is. You really haven't thought about that, Serin?"
At some point, the Sua who had been trembling and stammering while facing Serin had disappeared.
Once Serin had completely lowered her guard around Sua, what remained in front of her was simply a college student speaking clearly and coherently, as though her ability to put on an act had finally returned.
And the one flustered by this side of Sua was actually Serin.
'Does it work like that?'
Serin had only given the answer to brush the issue aside and deny that she was Rin, but Sua was already reading far beyond the words themselves.
"Maybe the now-famous user called Rin is actually your stalker, Serin, or someone who secretly watches you from places you don't know about. They might be a truly nasty person."
'H-huh?'
No, the conversation wasn't supposed to go like this.
With a blank expression, Serin wondered what she should say.
"Th-that could be possible."
In the end, she decided to just play along with Sua for now. After all, once they parted today, she would never see her again.
Sua wore a worried expression at Serin's response.
"Serin, do you live alone right now?"
"Ah, yes."
"...Wow, I really think this is too dangerous."
"Aren't you taking this too seriously?"
"Taking it too seriously? From where I'm standing, aren't you way too defenseless right now, Serin?"
Defenseless.
Serin stared at Sua with a dumbfounded expression for a moment.
It was something she had not heard anyone say to her in years.
"No, seriously! The more I think about the user called Rin, the more toxic they seem, don't they? Thinking about how they copied your appearance that thoroughly to make a character, ugh... it gives me chills."
She wrapped her arms around her own shoulders and put on a frightened expression.
Serin had no idea how the situation was unfolding.
Then, blankly, the word "toxic" caught her attention.
Am I really a toxic user in other people's eyes? She even had that thought.
"...A toxic user?"
"Ah. Serin, why are you suddenly acting like that? You must be aware of your own appearance at least."
Sua, having completely regained her composure, began to press Serin instead. When she thought about a few scenarios herself, a stalker came to mind,
and seeing that this woman named Serin hadn't even been conscious of the possibility of a stalker, she began to feel genuinely worried.
At Sua's sudden change in demeanor, Serin gave a small nod and answered.
"Well, to some extent..."
"Then you know, and you're still like this? With your looks, Serin, there must have been plenty of men clinging to you all this time. Why are you talking as if you've never once considered the existence of a stalker? From what I can see, the user called Rin is definitely your stalker!"
'Stalker...?'
What is this situation right now?
I had come into this café to confront the person who followed me.
And somehow I was the one being accused of stalking now.
Even then, I couldn't easily argue back.
Everything had gone wrong the moment I denied that I was Rin.
I couldn't think of a good answer.
"Then... I-I should be careful."
"No, Serin, you said you live alone even now. Are you really okay? You should report it to the police now, or get some kind of protection."
At Sua's increasingly excessive reaction, Serin hastily answered.
"Ah, no, Sua!? There's no need to go that far."
"No, I'm saying this because it really looks too dangerous to me, Serin. I know it might sound ridiculous for me to say this when we've just met. But please, really think about the possibility of a stalker and be on guard. I've actually been through it once myself, so I know. Someone obsessing over you—that's not something to take lightly."
She meant it.
Listening to Sua, Serin couldn't help but feel it too.
At least the fact that she was saying this out of genuine concern for her.
"I can actually protect myself, you know. A stalker or whatever... I should be on guard and careful. Hearing what you've said, I definitely understand now. That user called 'Rin' who copied me... they really must be toxic."
"You can protect yourself? Well, with your looks, Serin, I can imagine you might have learned some self-defense. And I'm only saying this now, but at that other cafe, not this one, when you looked at me, I seriously... I thought I felt actual killing intent."
'She... felt that?'
More than anything else Sua had said, Serin was startled by the mention of feeling killing intent.
She hadn't openly put killing intent into her gaze like she would when looking at a man who was lecherously eyeing her. She had just been annoyed because Sua was staring at her too openly, so she had looked back with irritation for a moment.
Or had she, without realizing it, looked at her with such a menacing gaze that even ordinary people could feel it? She even had that thought.
"Right. So what's your Another World nickname, Serin?"
"Why my nickname all of a sudden...?"
"Thinking about it now, us meeting like this is fate, isn't it? On top of that, we play the same game. Don't you think this situation feels a little like destiny?"
Sua, who seemed to be half acting and half showing her true self, was now feeling a strong curiosity toward Serin.
Unlike the impression she had first gotten of someone difficult and frightening, the more they talked, the more at ease she felt.
Someone she could communicate with without having to act.
It had been a long time since she had met someone who gave her that feeling.
Unlike most conversations, which gradually exhausted her even when they flowed well, this one was actually starting to hold her interest.
"Ah, no. Serin, I'll just tell you my nickname first. It's 'Plea.' Have you heard of it?"
Sua looked at Serin with eyes full of expectation.
Because anyone who played Another World would surely know her.
How would this silver-haired woman named Serin react to her words? Sua was really looking forward to it.
'Ranked No. 8.'
Sua took real pride in her standing, so she had never imagined that someone who played Another World wouldn't know who she was.
At Sua's sparkling gaze, Serin briefly felt puzzled.
'She's telling me her game nickname, so why is she asking if I know it?'
Well, was she supposed to be famous or something?
"That's an interesting nickname."