The Iron Man (3)

The memory of slaying the minotaur suddenly resurfaced in my mind. Back then, the same warning message had appeared. Two identical 'WARNING!' alerts. The part about a variable occurring in the scenario and the Demon King's power intervening were exactly the same. If I had to point out a difference, it was that I had my party members with me at the time, whereas now I was completely alone. Naturally, the difficulty had risen compared to back then… but it was still manageable.

Boooom!

I activated Pain Memory. Everything in front of me was torn to shreds. Nearly half of the countless monsters had vanished. As expected, this skill was the best. The activation conditions were incredibly harsh, but there was no other skill with such a high ceiling once those conditions were met.

"How astonishing."

Even he seemed surprised; all three of his eyes were wide open. Yet there was no sign of panic. Whether it was his original personality or not, the man remained composed from beginning to end.

After wiping out half the monsters in front of me, the view beyond them finally became visible. From the entrance of the sewer, I could ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠glimpse a massive swarm of monsters pouring in. So they really were respawning. Thanks to that, the back of my head was throbbing, but at this point it didn't matter. After all, I'd cleared a path straight to him.

I layered my body with Blood Flow Acceleration and every other buff I had. Then, in that state, I charged at him and swung my sword.

Squelch!

Bright red blood sprayed into the air. I'd wanted to end it with that single strike, but of course he wasn't such an easy opponent.

"Ex… cellent…"

Look at that. Look at that bastard. Even with a wound so deep his ribs were exposed, he stayed that calm. What a tough son of a bitch.

"In that case…! I have no choice but to stake my very soul!!"

The gravely wounded man began using his final desperate technique. The offering had begun. What he sacrificed was a part of his own recently injured body, along with several corpses I hadn't finished dealing with. The scattered chunks of flesh from all around gathered in one place and started fusing together. What emerged could barely even be called a rag doll… it was a kind of corpse golem.

Grrrrraaaaaaaaah!!!

When he roared, pitch-black mana enveloped everything around us. I let out a hollow laugh.

"Hah, so now you're a necromancer too?"

Truly a dark mage—he used every trick in the book. My head was pounding. My breath came in heavy gasps. The excessive use of mana brought on a wave of exhaustion, but what I had to do remained unchanged. I raised my sword.

"Haa… haa… huff… haa…!"

How long had it been? How long had I endured? How many times had I swung ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my sword?

The ground was littered with corpses. The metallic stench of blood assaulted my nostrils. There were no living creatures left around me except myself. My lungs burned as if they would tear apart, and my limbs trembled uncontrollably. I'd just killed Oleg and the curses binding me had lifted, but the mental fatigue that had piled up was no joke. This had truly been one of the hardest fights I'd had in recent memory. If I measured it purely by how exhausting it felt, it was almost on the level of the 0.7 Demon King fight. The one silver lining was that I hadn't needed to use the Authority of Sacrifice.

Once the grueling battle ended, strength drained from my entire body. But I still couldn't lie down. At the very least, I needed to go back up and report the situation in the underground sewers. So I dragged my lead-heavy body back the way I'd come.

When I emerged from the underground waterway, I saw people bustling about, but there didn't appear to be any major damage. It seemed the city walls hadn't been breached after all. I headed back to the ramparts with renewed focus and found the soldiers resting. It looked like their battle had wrapped up as well. There weren't any seriously injured soldiers in sight—only piles of monster corpses outside the walls.

I let out a sigh of relief. It seemed they'd been able to hold the monsters back even without me. After scanning the area for a while, I finally spotted my party members. For once, even I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. I wanted to go over and brag a little. I'd stopped as many monsters as the height of the city walls—all by myself. On top of that, I'd killed Oleg, the high-ranking dark mage who'd threatened humanity for hundreds of years. I'd never yielded to his cunning tongue, had clung to my fracturing mind time and again, and by burning myself to the limit, I'd prevented what could have been the destruction of an entire city.

But at the same time… it had been so incredibly difficult. My skin had been pierced countless times, my brain crushed all day long. My lungs had hurt so badly I'd wanted to drop to my knees more ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠times than I could count. Still, I'd overcome it all…

At the very least. At the very least this once, I wanted to rest beside them, even if only for a little while.

But of course, as always—

"You're with the Demon King's army too, aren't you?"

As if I didn't even deserve that small comfort, what came back was nothing but words laced with suspicion.

"Or maybe you're preparing to return to them."

Every time, I couldn't help but feel it to my bones. That's right. The day I would ever be repaid would never come.

I don't know why Oleg's voice suddenly came back to me. I'd thought I was prepared, but thinking about it and actually experiencing it were two different things. After cutting down hundreds of enemies and saving an entire city, the only thing that greeted me upon my return was this.

"Just admit what's really in your heart already, you traitor."

Lily glared at me with wide eyes, her voice full of accusation. There was a strange certainty in her gaze.

"I know everything now. I know what you're really after."

Of course, I couldn't understand where that certainty was coming from. So I asked her in a subdued voice.

"…What exactly are you basing that on?"

"You actually want one of the Four Heavenly Kings seats in the Demon King's army. Or maybe even a higher executive position. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Am I wrong?"

She continued like a detective caught up in a mystery game. It turned out I was one of the many villains who belonged to the Demon King's forces. I had the skill, but not quite enough to aim for a seat among the Four Heavenly Kings. However, my lust for power was overflowing. That's why I'd used my party members. If all the Four Heavenly Kings seats were taken, I just had to reduce their numbers. I'd learn their abilities while I was at it. Once the seats opened up, I'd pledge myself to the Demon King's army again. With my existing achievement of being a spy in the Hero's party, my position would skyrocket in an instant.

It was sloppy and a completely ridiculous assumption… but it was enough to fit together a few pieces of evidence.

"It's been weird from the very beginning. That creepy atmosphere, the complete lack of aversion to dark magic, and the way you know far too much about the Demon King's army… You've already lived in the Demon Realm before, haven't you? And as a pretty high-ranking executive at that."

People don't hate others without a reason. Sometimes they even create reasons just so they can hate.

"The reason you learned insect magic was probably for the same purpose. So you could claim a higher position when you eventually returned."

Her eyes were sharp. Had she been spinning these theories ever since I fell from the wall…? Or maybe even before that.

"And why did you disappear in the middle of this battle anyway? Were you going to make contact with the Demon King's army? You recognized Oleg right away earlier too. Turns out you've known each other for a long time, huh?"

I could feel the eyes of the people around us. Along with Lily, both Adel and Kamilla were looking at me as if interrogating me. It was far from a good reaction. Yulise was treating patients nearby, but she must have sensed the strange atmosphere because her gaze was fixed in our direction.

Of course, every single word was complete nonsense. I could have refuted them all if I wanted. There was more than enough evidence to deny it whether they believed me or not. But this time…

"…Why don't we just go with that assumption instead?"

For some reason, I didn't feel like it. The pent-up resentment that had been building and building surged up my throat. I tried to hold it back, but a little kept leaking out anyway.

"The truth is, I was originally one of the Four Heavenly Kings but got kicked out for some reason. Sensing an opportunity, I decided to use all of you to reclaim my seat."

"Or maybe I'm just a simple spy. Secretly raised by the Demon King. Since the Hero's party wasn't enough for him, he planted me like a poison to cause even greater damage."

"If that's not it either, then maybe I'm the Demon King himself. The war with the human forces got boring, so I just wanted to play hero for fun."

Or maybe, or maybe, or maybe. Countless absurd theories poured out. Anyone could have cobbled together something that sounded plausible.

After spewing all that out, I growled at her in a low voice.

"Just because you can string sentences together doesn't mean everything that comes out of your mouth is true. And just because your mouth is open doesn't mean you can say whatever the hell you want."

"What?"

Her expression hardened into something ugly. Just as I'd expected.

"So you're saying… my words are bullshit?"

"You got it."

I nodded. After that… it was simple. We fought. For the first time in a long while. Harsh words flew back and forth, sharp accusations cutting through the air from every direction. I couldn't stop myself from unleashing all the resentment that had built up inside me. There were more raw, vicious insults than logical rebuttals, and every single one of them stabbed somewhere deep in my mind. Each one would surely become another beetle gnawing away at the dead tree of my heart someday.

After we'd been fighting for a while, the Saintess stepped in to mediate.

"That's enough!"

Slap!

Her palm sent Lily staggering back. She knew how to use her hands to stop a fight. The overheated atmosphere cooled instantly, as if cold water had been poured over it.

"…It looks like both of you are far too worked up. Please calm down for now…"

I don't remember much after that. I just wanted to be alone. So I quickly left the area. The air that brushed against my skin was bitterly cold.

When I came back to my senses, I found myself in some back alley. There were no people, nor any reason for anyone to come here. The ground was a bit dirty, but for someone who wanted to stay in the shadows, it was the perfect spot.

-You're quite the iron man. In many ways.

One of the things he'd said suddenly came back to me. At the time my head had been hurting too much to notice, but I remembered that his voice had contained both reverence and admiration toward me. Still, I couldn't agree with what he'd said.

What exactly was an iron man? It referred to someone wise and just, or a person of unyielding resolve. Someone with such firm mental strength that nothing could shake them. We usually called people with bodies and minds like steel "iron men."

He'd probably meant it in the latter sense. But I was just an ordinary person. I'd gone through a bit of tragedy, sure, but I'd graduated from school, completed my military service, lived alone in a small room, and had the modest hobby of gaming. That was me. I wasn't exceptionally good at anything. I did have some persistence, but it wasn't anything outstanding compared to others. If it had been, I would've gotten into Seoul National University.

And yet here I was, carrying the weight of the entire world on my shoulders. It was so heavy that I'd wanted to give up countless times. I regretted my choices constantly and lamented them often. I was always shaking. Always afraid.

What hurt the most was that there wasn't a single person who could truly support these heavy shoulders of mine. So how could anyone call me an iron man? When I felt like I could collapse at any moment.

"Haa… haa… So this is where you were."

"…?"

I'd been lost in thought for a while when I looked up and saw that the Saintess had come to the back alley. Her cheeks were flushed, probably from running. She seemed relieved for a moment before speaking to me.

"I'm sorry. Lily has a tendency to get worked up easily. I'll give her a good scolding later. For now, please stand up and…"

"Go away."

But what came out of my mouth was a rejection.

"Pardon?"

"Be honest with me. What are you really after? Why do you keep trying to get close to me like this? It's uncomfortable."

The sharp words spilled out before I could stop them.

"I already know you all hate me anyway. Since we've already fought once, this is a good time to just say what's really on our minds—"

"Stop."

But those words were cut off by her as she suddenly stepped close. As if to seal my mouth shut, she pulled me into a tight embrace. Along with a warm, comforting sensation, her body heat blocked out the cold night wind. I was so startled that my mouth closed on its own. When I glanced at her face, it was horribly contorted. Her eyes looked a little moist.

"Stop. Please stop hurting yourself with words."

"…"

"I'm sorry. I should have been watching over you more carefully. I said I'd at least try to be your umbrella…"

Her hands gripping my back were trembling. If the emotion I was feeling right now was correct… it seemed like she was sad. Was something like that even possible? At least my curse should have made it impossible.

"You asked what my true intentions were, right? It's simple. I want you—the hero—to be even a little bit happier. Truly. No matter how much you suspect me right now. I'll prove it through my actions. So for now… couldn't you just trust me a little?"

It was a lie. It had to be a lie. At least for me, there was no such thing as kindness without an ulterior motive. There might be a sharp dagger hidden somewhere behind her warm words. So I should push her away… but for some reason, I couldn't do it right now.

"…I'm so tired."

I wrapped both arms around her as hard as I could. My arms were shaking just as much as hers.

"I really thought I was doing my best. But the enemies never end. And not a single person acknowledges it."

The wind was cold. Maybe that was why my nose stung so badly. Or maybe the wind was making my vision blur.

"Saving the world is so fucking… why does it have to be this hard…"

I stayed like that for a long time, holding her in my arms. In the deathly quiet back alley, the only sounds were occasional choked sobs.

…It does feel refreshing to pour out your emotions like that. But what follows is always shame and the troublesome aftermath.

After finishing that… well, that sort of thing in the back alley, she said to me,

"Then… shall we head back now?"

"Uh… y-yeah. Sure."

My eyes were a little swollen. I didn't want to explain why. It was too embarrassing. I scratched my cheek awkwardly and nodded.

An awkward silence hung between us the entire way back to the party. She seemed just as embarrassed, because she couldn't meet my eyes either.

"…"

"…"

To be honest, the awkwardness was killing me. But I wasn't thick-skinned enough to casually start a conversation right after doing 'that.' With no other choice, I had to focus on something else.

One of the worst things about being in the same party was that no matter how much you fought, you still had to see each other again. And if we had to keep traveling together, we had no choice but to resolve this uncomfortable feeling somehow. Just thinking about it already gave me a headache. I wondered if that tiny rat Lily had calmed down at all. Or if we'd even be able to talk in the first place. Thinking about stuff like this made my head hurt automatically.

But… contrary to what I'd expected, nothing like that happened.

When I returned to the ramparts, what I saw was—

"Huuuueeeeng… I'm sowwy…"

Lily, crying pathetically, and—

"…E-eh?"

—only Yulise's eyes shaking violently beside her.

'Hmm?'

What the hell? What happened here?