The Masks We Wear

Every human wears their own persona. Society is far too harsh to reveal one's true self without any filter. So everyone wraps their personality to some degree. They hide their selfish sides, conceal their depressed sides, and tuck their shady selves behind active masks. The personas created this way allow a certain level of communication, even in uncomfortable relationships. Just like right now.

"Monsters up ahead."

"I'll cast a veil of darkness around us. Everyone strike at once."

A week had passed since I learned black magic and fought with my party members. During that time, we had been getting along surprisingly well. How should I put it… It felt like we were maintaining a business-partner relationship. We didn't share personal feelings, but we still worked together toward our goal. We set aside our discomfort and focused on the objective ahead.

Unexpectedly, the outright harassment had decreased lately. Maybe it was because I had snapped at them once. After confirming that I had thorns of my own, they seemed to be treading a bit more carefully. Of course, I had no idea what would happen once we left the Insect Assembly Castle… but for now, this was how things stood. We were uncomfortable with each other, yet no one voiced that discomfort aloud.

Haah.

Anyone who's lived in a group setting knows that this kind of atmosphere is the most awkward of all.

It's suffocating…

It would almost be better if everything exploded at once. Not knowing what they're thinking makes it worse. At least when they were openly harassing me, I could read their emotions clearly. Now I couldn't even do that.

I pushed those thoughts aside for the moment. Whatever. Thinking about it won't change anything. It was better to focus on something more constructive.

Unlike the growing distance between me and my teammates, my growth itself was progressing smoothly. My level had gone up again recently… and I was steadily working on skill levels for black magic as well.

"Hero, ahead!"

"Got it."

Kamilla shouted, and when I looked forward, I saw a monster charging straight at me. It was a scorpion-type monster twice my size. It possessed paralyzing venom, a carapace harder than most plate armor, and surprisingly quick movements. A difficult opponent.

The moment I spotted it, I activated a skill.

Call it Gear Second. A skill that pumps the blood flow throughout the body to temporarily maximize physical abilities. Unfortunately, my body didn't turn red or emit steam. The downside of straining the body afterward remained the same, though. Regeneration would handle that anyway.

Thump, thump!

Once the skill activated, my heart began pounding rapidly. The surging heartbeat pumped blood madly through every corner of my body. A slight excitement and a sense of empowerment, as if I could do anything, wrapped around me. I layered Mana Blade onto my sword and brought it down in one strike.

Slash!

A chilling sound rang out as one of the scorpion's pincers was severed. Because of its massive size, cutting the body in half was difficult. Hisss! Whether from pain or rage, the creature began thrashing wildly after losing one limb. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Its enormous body rampaging in the narrow corridor made everything echo loudly.

"Kyaaak! Bugs are falling from the ceiling!"

"Clean them up quickly! Ugh! They're coming because of the noise!"

Lily waved her hands above her head to shake off the insects while Kamilla, who had been taking down monsters one by one in the corridor, shouted urgently. I nodded briefly and placed my hand on the creature's body without hesitation. Then I activated the skill.

All living creatures that move possess blood within their bodies. Insects and bugs were no exception. Even if the color of their blood differed, there would still be blood somewhere inside. And if there was blood, I could now absorb it.

Shhhk…! Shhhk…

As I cast the skill, the creature gradually grew calmer. I could feel its blood slowly evaporating through my palm. Among the skills in Blood Magic, this was the one I found most useful.

Once the monster seemed sufficiently subdued, I brought my sword down again.

Slash!

Its head separated from its body. After that, I continued to rampage through the monsters using Blood Flow Acceleration. Fortunately, the monsters that rushed in this time were also dealt with easily. What would have originally taken around thirty minutes was noticeably faster thanks to the skill. This was why choosing a class mattered. Combat became much simpler.

Of course, there was one downside. This wasn't the true strength of self-harm black magic. Its real value only showed when I got injured…

Well, I need to get hurt first.

The class I had chosen was the type that grew stronger the more damage I took, like a berserker. But lately, there hadn't been many opportunities to get injured. It was because of the nature of the Insect Assembly Castle. While the swarms of monsters were certainly overwhelming, they weren't particularly dangerous. So skill leveling wasn't progressing as hoped. Thanks to that, only Multicasting and Fireball proficiency were increasing.

"Hoo…"

"······."

While wiping the sweat from my brow with those thoughts in mind, I felt strange gazes from somewhere. Turning my head, I saw the girls looking at me with displeased expressions. As if they had seen something unpleasant.

…It was the reaction they always showed whenever I used black magic. They didn't say anything outright, but these unconscious responses seemed unavoidable.

"Hoo… We moved quite a bit today too… How about we stop and rest now?"

Still, there was one fortunate thing. It wasn't all negative changes.

"…No. Let's keep going."

Kamilla said while catching her breath after wiping the sweat soaking her body. We had already been fighting and exploring for over eight hours. Normally, everyone would be exhausted by this point. Eight hours of continuous combat was grueling, and in such a harsh environment, rest was more important than anything.

"…Fine, okay."

But lately, our exploration periods had increased significantly. Even if they didn't like my words, it meant they had sensed something. They too had realized that staying in this state wasn't an option. Perhaps they had shattered the illusion that they could somehow win. Either way, it was good news for me. My body was tired, but my growth had definitely accelerated. Free time had decreased, but I could make up for it with sleep.

So we continued hunting for several more hours.

*

"Time to work. Do it."

Thud!

After the day's work ended, Kamilla tossed something at me. It was the corpse of a monster I had butchered earlier. It had been a while since I last had to do dismantling work after finishing a battle. Right, I haven't been doing much dismantling lately… The amount of monster corpses we had discarded so far could easily buy a mansion. Especially the monsters we caught this time looked valuable, so maybe that was why she made me do it.

Even so, I couldn't help but curse inwardly.

Damn it.

Because in the end, dismantling all of this was my responsibility. Since they couldn't openly harass me, they were giving me annoying tasks like this instead.

"I wanted to rest…"

Complaints slipped out, but I had no choice but to pick up the dagger. Refusing would only make me look petty. Having no allies meant dealing with this kind of thing often. So when people join a company, they should learn office politics well.

Crustacean-type monsters this time.

As I held the dagger and examined the dismantling angle, I noticed one troublesome point. These creatures were covered in thick chitinous shells. That meant they were extremely difficult to process. The blade wouldn't go in easily. Joints were hard to find. And since they had just died, their flesh was still fresh and wouldn't separate cleanly. In every way, they were annoying bastards.

Just like my party members.

But what could I do? I had to do it anyway…

So I began the dismantling work. The quantity wasn't too much, so I figured I could finish before bedtime. While I was thinking that, someone approached me.

"I'll help you."

It was the Saintess. Wearing her dust-covered nun's habit, she plopped down beside me and fiddled with a dagger.

"Let's see… I've never done dismantling before. How do I process them?"

"······."

I couldn't help but feel flustered. I'd repeated the question "Why is she acting like this lately?" so many times that it was starting to feel stale. If I had to pick the party member whose psychology was hardest to understand, it would undoubtedly be her. Even when receiving her goodwill, I didn't know the underlying intention, so it only made me more uncomfortable.

For now, I decided to refuse once. It was bothersome to teach her, and doing it alone was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠better than in this awkward atmosphere. Wearing my usual insincere smile, I spoke to her.

"It's fine. What if you hurt your hand by accident? And this is easier for someone experienced, so you can just go back and rest."

"I'm a Saintess, so if I get hurt I can just heal it. What's the problem? And from what I see, even an amateur's help would be useful, right? When are you going to finish all this by yourself?"

Of course, I was cleanly rejected. She said that and watched closely as I worked. Then, without being taught, she started processing one herself.

"Aha, I see. You insert the knife into the joint and slowly twist it out like…"

"······."

She seemed to have good dexterity. She quickly stripped one corpse. Of course, her strength and technique were lacking, so it was a bit clumsy… but she looked capable of handling one person's share.

Haah. I let out a small sigh. She didn't seem like she would leave even if I told her to. I had no choice but to leave her be. It was hard to stubbornly refuse when she came to help.

"······."

"······."

A brief silence settled between us. Only the sound of insects moving and the noise of dismantling echoed through the dark corridor. While working, the Saintess seemed to have something on her mind as she alternated glances between me and the corpses. What is she doing…? It bothered me, but I decided to ignore it. Usually, ignoring was the answer in these situations.

"…Hey."

Then, at some point, the Saintess suddenly spoke ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠while looking at me.

"Don't hate the kids too much, okay?"

I couldn't help but ask in surprise.

"What are you suddenly saying?"

"Well, you fought with the kids a few days ago. Because of the black magic thing… I know everyone's feelings are hurt because of that. So I'm asking you not to hate them too much. They have their own values too…"

I could only stare blankly for a moment. So this was why she came.

"…It's fine. I was also at fault. Since I learned black magic, that kind of reaction is natural."

I didn't hate them. Probably. Honestly, the constant harassment made me angry often… but that was ultimately because of my curse. There was plenty of reason to give them the benefit of the doubt.

What was unusual was her. I decided to ask something I was curious about.

"Saintess, are you really okay with it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Black magic. It's definitely not a righteous path…"

In the game, she especially loathed black magic. So why had her attitude suddenly changed this time…? I still couldn't understand. And it wasn't just that. My body was covered in countless curses. Curses that inspired fear, disgust, irritation, and distrust just by being seen. Yet she remained unaffected? Did divine blessings grant immunity to even that? Or was it purely because of her personality? Or perhaps… she was hiding some intention?

I was still curious. I hoped this would ease that curiosity even a little. After waiting a moment, what she said was:

"I already told you it was a necessary choice."

"······."

I felt a surge of emotion.

"I trust you, Hero. Even if I don't fully understand it. There must be a reason you chose it, right?"

She spoke with a benevolent smile. Her sapphire-like eyes shone so warmly that I felt momentarily healed.

"······."

This was the kind of empathy I had wanted. I didn't need everyone's admiration, historic achievements, or recognition from those in power. I just wanted this small, single sentence. At least the belief that someone supported the path I was walking.

Without realizing it, I had been longing for that.

"…I see."

I gave an awkward reply and turned my head away. I couldn't bear to keep looking, afraid tears might fall.

······

I still didn't know if those words were sincere. Anyone could offer hollow comfort, and expressions were surprisingly easy to fake. She might be thinking something else entirely. But what did it matter? At least those words moved me. I felt a small part of my heart being healed. Moreover, she had even opposed the other party members to defend me. I wasn't foolish enough not to notice that she had been considerate of me all this time.

So maybe… just a little, I could trust her. Maybe it was okay to believe that at least one person supported me.

"······."

So we focused on the dismantling work again. The same heavy silence surrounded us, but it no longer felt uncomfortable. It even felt peaceful. After working for a while, I glanced at her.

Ah.

A small insect was clinging to the back of her soft neck. It was common in the Insect Assembly Castle, a place full of bugs. Usually, people noticed right away when something attached to their body.

She must not have noticed because she was focused.

Then I should remove it. I didn't know if it was poisonous, but having a bug on your body couldn't feel good. So I carefully reached my hand toward the back of her neck. With no particular intention…

And then—

—Slap!!

I was rejected. In clear view, I saw her hand fiercely swatting mine away. Her startled eyes were filled with unmistakable displeasure. The benevolent smile vanished, replaced by a frown, and a rough breath escaped her throat. Her reaction was so intense that I was shocked as well.

After a moment of silence, our eyes met.

"…Ah."

"······Huh?"

Her eyes began to tremble violently as she grasped the situation.