16. Words of Love (5)
There is one unchanging law that has come down in a single unbroken line since the age of prehistory.
It is this: when you set out to begin something, the hardest part of all is taking that very first resolve — the will to want it.
Exploring an unknown cave. Exploring an unknown fruit. In every case, the hardest moment would have been putting that first foot forward, and taking that first bite.
Of course, meeting the eyes of a sulky little bear along the way, or keeling over on the spot from an unlucky poisoned apple — those were trifling matters, best skipped over....
Anyway.
Clicking on this lewd advertisement was no different. If I just gritted my teeth and read it through once, it might help me later, when I had to hold a conversation with a man. And so I took up the will to want it. After that, there was nothing left but to go forward.
With nothing but my eyes peeking out above the blanket, I pressed down on the picture of a naked woman beneath the YouTube screen.
81.
So the one Yozora had recommended really had been a kind of shoujo romance comic after all....
"......"
It made sense. That one at least had a stretch, early on and through the middle, where the couple was sweet on each other. This comic, from the very front of the prologue, was nothing but blatant sex appeal...!
"...So this is what a male-oriented comic is."
A dazed exclamation slipped out of me — less awe than pure disbelief.
A naked man waiting for a woman in his cramped little studio, right from the start: OK. It was an adult comic.
It was just, well.... I had assumed they were about to have sex immediately.
The exaggerated body of the woman who stepped out of the shower afterward: also OK. It was an adult comic. Just as most women liked a man's body carved into hard lines, most men would like a woman's body soft and yielding.
Judging by the monologue and the dialogue, the protagonist and the heroine had already been seeing each other for some time. That the whole process had been skipped: OK as well. It was an adult comic.
It was only that the process aimed so blatantly, and so exclusively, at sex that I found myself a little flustered.
"Hmm...."
So this was how comics for men felt. Next to what Yozora read, it was explicit enough to be embarrassing to compare. My knowledge had increased.
But I could hardly close it here and call myself satisfied. Once the sword was drawn, I could hardly fail to slice at least a radish with it. I had to confirm, at the very least, just how different a sex scene in a female-oriented comic was from one in a male-oriented comic.
Steeling myself, I scrolled down the screen. The woman was already nearly naked, and the protagonist had nothing on but a towel around his waist, so I figured they'd be going at it hard within five panels.
"......?"
But there was no sex scene.
The reason was the protagonist's... well. His cock was too big. The woman who had just finished her shower packed her bags and ran.
"...Well, yeah."
At that size, of course she would. Even the silhouette alone reached easily from between his legs all the way to his navel. And the girth was absurd....
......
...If you actually tried to take all of that, it wouldn't feel good in the slightest. It would hurt like hell. A perfectly natural reaction.
Part of me thought that, since it was an adult comic, they could have just ignored it — but I let it pass. It was probably nothing more than a device for a realistic depiction. That was the full extent of my theory.
Before long the protagonist, back with alcohol he had bought, began filling his stomach with it all by himself. Come to think of it, I had never had a drink in my life.... What did it taste like?
I was turning that idle thought over when he switched on his phone and went into...
...a porn site?
"......"
So men really did watch porn.... Fascinating, somehow.
Of course, I had vaguely assumed as much. That men liked dirty things was one of the clichés that turned up often enough even in the shoujo comics. Japan loved analog to a suspicious degree, so over there it was mostly adult magazines — but this was Korea, and so here it was porn.
Maybe it was the feeling of having stumbled onto a peek at men's private lives.
A strange little flutter.
Could I use this as something to talk about with a man?
Should I try it on the school nurse next time?
Those impressions lasted only a moment.
When I scrolled a little further, a question mark popped into my head.
"Eh...."
Unlike the woman who had just fled, the women in the video the protagonist was watching were busy getting stuffed by huge, pitch-black cocks, crying out like bitches in heat.
What? Does it actually feel good? But then....
"That doesn't add up."
Then why did that woman run away earlier? If it felt good, shouldn't she have had sex with the protagonist? And even by common sense, something was off. Something that big slamming into you — pain would be the normal reaction, not pleasure.
A setting error, right from the prologue....
...Probably not, though. So that meant it was real?
"......"
I— I could just check, couldn't I?
I wasn't some minor sneaking porn in secret. It had already been a full three months since I'd reached an age where no one could say a word to me for watching openly. Porn, at this point, I was entitled to watch with my head held high.
Squirming, rubbing my thighs together, I rolled over, searched for it, and picked one at random to try.
Quite a few of them shut me out, insisting for some reason that I couldn't connect, but after several tries I found a place that let me in with no restrictions at all. I couldn't tell what the difference was, but anyway, I stepped into the one that opened.
After fidgeting around the site for about five minutes, I picked a video with a provocative thumbnail.
"......"
Inside the single video I had chosen simply because the view count was high, the man holding the camera began to display, as if setting them against each other, the big pale ass of the woman bent over in front of him and his own thick, pitch-black cock. A framing that felt like he was looking down on her. A framing that seemed to regard her as a toy, at best.
...And just like that,
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
He forced it into her body all the way to the base — the part I had been sure could never fit. Even with the woman clutching the bedsheet in both fists, trembling all over, he paid her no mind.
...So it really did all go in. I had been certain that was only possible because it was a comic....
If that went inside me.... Wait.
Here? No. It would easily reach below my navel. Then... here?
A full handspan up from between my legs....
Just then, a wet slapping sound reached me through the earphones. My vision, which had gone hazy at some point, snapped quickly back to normal. What I saw, once I came to, was the woman's ass swaying lightly under the man's hand — a soft, yielding ass that the man, murmuring whore under his breath, was spanking in play.
Then he seized the pale ass of the woman, busy gasping and flinching, in a rough, crushing grip, and slowly drew that enormous thing out of her. He caught on camera, missing nothing, the way it had become a sticky mess of her slick in a matter of seconds, and the way that slick stretched down onto the bed like honey. As if to say, I made this woman like this. And you, watching — what about you?
Then, the instant his thick head pressed against her entrance, already clenched tight shut — before even ten seconds had passed, moans like a bitch in heat began to blare through the earphones, set to volume one.
Thirty-seven minutes left. That became thirty-six. Thirty-five. By the time it hit thirty-four, I — who had been staring blankly at the video — jolted, shoulders twitching, and shut the porn off.
...How long had I even been watching this?
"Ahem. A-hem...."
R-right. Well.... So a big di— a, a penis really did feel good, it seemed. It wasn't anything important, so I decided that was that and moved on. The heroine from a moment ago probably just hadn't known.
That was that....
Thaaat was that....
I should cool my face down first....
Hoo....
I set the phone aside for a moment and laid both palms on my cheeks, working them in circles as if kneading dough. The space between my thighs was strangely, fiercely ticklish, but I didn't know what it was, so all I did was rub my thighs together, hard. Only after the heat had drained from my cheeks to some degree did I go back to reading the comic.
And so I realized that the comic was, in fact, an isekai — a story of crossing into another world — saw that the man's station had been lowered to that of a sex slave from the very start, wondered whether this was a world where women were stronger than men, and only a little further on found the first sex scene.
"......?"
It was a little different from what I had expected.
"The woman's on top...?"
It was exactly that. The male lead lay on his back, and the woman was rocking her hips, her brows pinched tight. Even as her thighs trembled, as if he were too much for her to handle, saliva strung from the tip of her tongue, and — squelch, squelch — she dropped her hips without rest.
...Strange. Why is the woman shaking her own hips here?
The ones Yozora had recommended were, for the most part, the woman on her stomach or on her back, leaving herself entirely to the man.... That sort of thing, anyway. This was a work for men, wasn't it? Did men want the woman to move on her own? Because that was easier?
"Mm...."
But then, in the porn I had just watched, hadn't the man been the one pounding away?
...What the hell. Why are the two of them different? I have no idea which one is right.
Maybe it was just a difference in the author's taste.... Maybe I had flipped too fast, hunting for the sex, and missed something....
I don't know. I'm tired. I don't want to look anymore.
It was already two in the morning. If I fell asleep any later than this, tomorrow I would be forcing sleep on myself at an hour when I wasn't even sleepy.
It was strangely stifling, so I eased the blanket down a little and moved my fingers. Just in case — really, just in case — there was another position, I inched down slowly, but nothing changed. He finished messily with her still on top, and the instant he pulled out, the semen came gushing down — and the depiction ended there.
I sighed at the disappointment and pressed back.
And then I saw it.
"...Huh?"
Thumbnails of the comic, lined up in a row from episode one to the latest. A little past the prologue, I had gone and seen it — a thumbnail of a tailed beastkin, having sex every bit as violently as the porn I had just watched.