The First Masturbation (6)
Perhaps it was because there were still a few minutes left until lunch. Fortunately, the hallway was still quiet. The central hall of the main building visible in the distance was the same. The only things to be seen were a few students from other grades wandering around in gym clothes, likely just finished with a practical class. But even so, I couldn't just walk over there with any confidence. Unless you had nerves of steel, how could you go over there? ...Or perhaps some pervert who secretly hoped to be caught would go there.
Turning my head toward the direction where no one was, I walked away from the infirmary with a click-clack of my shoes, moving as complicatedly as possible, feeling like someone being chased. If there had been a crowd of students wandering around nearby..., strange rumors would surely have started to circulate. Something like, "The Student Council President ran out of the infirmary with her face bright red." I didn't even want to imagine what kind of treatment I would receive at the Academy as a result. It wasn't because of any grand reason, but rather... because I was embarrassed.
In the midst of that, I happened to run into a few kids I was close with, but I didn't even remember if I had greeted them properly. It was certain that I heard greetings like, "Oh, Senior. Hello-." Did I answer them? No, did I even pretend to hear them in the first place? My face was burning hot, enough that I knew it without looking in a mirror. Did they see it? If they had, they would have said something, right? Did they not see it? I don't know. Right now, I just want to run away to a place where Seo Woojin's eyes can't reach, as quickly as possible. Specifically, a place as far from the infirmary as possible. Or a place where Seo Woojin couldn't enter. The place I arrived at with that thought was—
"Haa.... Hu...."
It was the women's restroom. And it was the women's restroom on the 4th floor of the main building. It was a sanctuary that coincidentally fit my criteria perfectly, located on the complete opposite side of the building from the infirmary. ...That aside, I don't think it even took me a minute to get here; how on earth did I manage to climb the stairs this quickly....
I worried about another embarrassing rumor different from the one I had feared, but only for a moment. After confirming that there was no one in the restroom, I slumped down onto the toilet cover of the nearest stall.
"Aaaagh.... Baek Seoyeon, you idiot...."
Even if I thought about it again. Even if I didn't stop there and thought about it two, three more times, it was the stupidest thing I would ever do in my life. Burying my face in both hands and groaning, I glared at the innocent restroom door through my fingers and replayed all sorts of vulgar curses in my head. I felt like dying of embarrassment for having had the light thought of, "If I get horny because of Seo Woojin again, I'll just take care of it quickly in a quiet place."
My subsequent actions were the same. I could have just gone to the shower room and taken care of it quickly when no one else was there. My IQ, which thought it was bearable because it was a mild fever, was now in question. Did I forget everything that happened yesterday? You idiot? At this rate, my intelligence was on the level of a dolphin, no, a horny dog. Later on, I even secretly thought of Seo Woojin, thinking it didn't feel as good as I thought. Without exaggeration, it was exactly on the level of a horny dog. My intelligence, as well as the state of my body. Everything.
'If there was really no other way, I could have just used my period as an excuse and applied for early leave.... Ugh....'
Since I had built up an image, the teachers would have turned a blind eye at least once to a common excuse that could be solved with a single painkiller, saying it was hard because it was "that kind of day." If I had masturbated while moaning to my heart's content at home, it might have gotten better. In the end, all that remained was the memory of having done something embarrassing with Seo Woojin, and a 99% certainty that the cause of my heat was Seo Woojin.
And.
"...."
The sensation. The sensation when touched by a man's hand, which was completely different from when I touched my private parts with my own hands. And the damp sensation between my crotch that was still tormenting me.
"Ugh...."
The former could somehow be pushed out of my mind, but the latter could not. Why, don't you feel that way even when you're wearing wet clothes? How can you not be aware of that? Moreover, it was my underwear that was soaked through. It wasn't my arm or leg, but the area between my crotch was damp and slippery, so I couldn't just ignore it... could I? Yeah.
"...Annoying...."
How about I just take off my underwear? I even reached a dangerous thought for a moment, but instead of becoming an exhibitionist, I chose to use the toilet paper right next to me to wipe the area between my crotch, even if just a little. I told myself to be satisfied with this much, since it would be difficult to find new underwear or dry it right away.
"...."
Was it because of the things that happened in the infirmary just now? Even though I was pulling down my own underwear, I felt goosebumps all over. Somehow, it felt like the very act of taking off my underwear had turned into something lewd. ...The more I nitpicked over every little thing like this, the longer the unpleasant reaction would last. Shaking my head to shake off the thoughts, I pulled my underwear, which had been stuck around my thighs, down to my knees.
"Hick...."
Only then could I confirm the state of my underwear with my own eyes. ...I knew it was damp, since I had masturbated while rubbing my breasts on the emergency stairs and had been touched by Seo Woojin, but I didn't know it would be soaked to the point where it turned gray instead of its original white....
Seo Woojin must definitely be thinking of me as a pervert no different from any other Gumiho. Since he's a man who has laid his hands on both Yozora and Han Su-a, he might have had strange thoughts about me too. If I get horny again next time, he might just.... put his fingers inside.... *Squish, squish*.... *Press, press*....
....
....Th-then, I should just kick him in the crotch at that moment. Let's just crush it completely so he can never act like a man again, and can't even heal it. Twisting the thoughts that were inadvertently drifting toward the lewd side, I tore off the toilet paper right next to me and folded it neatly.
"...Umm."
But the next part was also a hurdle. What if I try to wipe it with this and get strange thoughts again? That thought popped into my head. My body wasn't burning hot right now, but since there was such a thing as "what if"....
...No. Let's stop. It's a needless worry. Perhaps because everything has been strange from yesterday until this morning, it seems I've developed a habit of being suspicious. It's good to have a habit of doubting one by one, but it shouldn't lead to delusions. I'm not a mental patient. Hmm. Anyway, as long as I'm not in a state of heat, it should be fine to touch myself again. I remember clearly how it felt when I tried to masturbate like others until now. It tingles, but it doesn't really feel good. It was obvious that wiping it with toilet paper now would be similar to that. So don't worry about it too much....
....
....M-maybe I should just reduce the pressure a little, just in case....
"...."
As expected. The thing I feared didn't happen. It was just toilet paper touching my private parts, and that was the end of it. With my eyes half-closed, I swallowed my saliva, and let out a light sigh of relief as I stroked my chest.
...I'm such a fool. Really. What on earth was I worried about? Come to think of it, it was just wiping my body, nothing special. What if I get strange thoughts, what kind of delusion was that.... This is all because of Seo Woojin. There's a high probability he doesn't know why I'm like this, but anyway, it's because of Seo Woojin. If it weren't for you, this wouldn't have happened.
While I was fuming like that and wiping between my legs, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. A small curiosity that I had no interest in.
...How was Seo Woojin different from me, that it felt so good? A small curiosity that I swore to heaven I had no interest in.
"...."
Could it really have felt that good just because he's a man? It must have felt good because there was another reason. Even while thinking that in my heart, I was already bringing out my fox ears to check for any presence outside the restroom.
...For now, there's no one. I'm not in a state of heat like I was in the emergency stairs, I'm sure of it. The only footsteps I can catch right now are the ones coming from the hallway on the floor below. As soon as I thought, "A really small moan is fine-," the hand movements wiping between my legs slowed down little by little. As the thought followed that the condition for heat was touching Seo Woojin, or something similar to that- the hand movements slowed down even more.
If I'm going to handle my heat by myself later, I'll have to practice now. Because it would be fine to just touch my private parts out of my own curiosity. Because it wouldn't matter at all to touch my shameful places a little, just like I've been doing for 22 years.... Once I reached that thought, my hands were already stopped in place, just clutching the toilet paper tightly.
...Yeah. I just need to make sure I don't touch anyone but Seo Woojin. Then, just because I touched between my legs out of curiosity, I wouldn't show any lewd behavior while in heat. Well, my wad of toilet paper was already wetter than my shameful parts anyway. And if it gets wet again, there's plenty of toilet paper around. By the time I had piled up hundreds and thousands of excuses to defend myself like that,
"...Hut, ugh."
I let go of the wet toilet paper and began to carefully touch my vaginal opening with my bare hands.
"Ugh.... Ummm...."
Maybe like this... was it? It wasn't like I was shoving my fingers in and stirring it up *squelch, squelch* like I saw in lewd videos, nor was I reciprocating my fingers like having sex. I just tried to follow Seo Woojin's caress, which was just pressing down, with my own hands. But this time, there was no feeling at all, to the point where it was sorry to compare it to earlier. Even though I wasn't touching it over my underwear, but touching it directly, it was still like that. Is it because I'm not in a state of heat? If I think that way, it becomes easier to explain, but.... What if there's another reason...?
"Ugh...."
Still, when I carefully inserted my fingertips into the vaginal opening, I did feel something, unlike before. Unfortunately, it was much closer to "painful" than "feeling good." In other words, I did feel something similar to pleasure, even if it was minute....
...That's enough. My curiosity has faded because it only hurts every time I touch it. Looking at my fingers, which were soft and dry rather than soaked, I let out a quiet sigh and pulled up the underwear I had draped over my knees.
If I don't want to show such lewd behavior as today, I should avoid touching Seo Woojin as much as possible from now on. While vowing that, and vowing again.