Because of You (2)
For starters, I formed a hypothesis. Perhaps something akin to a heat cycle exists for Gumiho. …That was it. Of course, I didn't want to admit it to myself. Setting aside whether I liked or disliked lewd things, it was a matter of human dignity. I wasn't some beast in a breeding season; there was no reason I should have to enjoy such things. It felt, in a fundamental way, dirty.
Having seen enough of the older girls I used to live with fall headfirst into sex and ruin their lives in real-time, and having witnessed Yozora lose her mind over a single man, it was impossible for me to have a positive impression of such filthy acts. If it had at least felt incredibly good, that might have been different…. The fact that whenever I touched myself out of curiosity, it only felt ticklish or painful must have had an influence, too.
But a little while ago, it was quite different from what I had known. It felt… …good. It wasn't a skillful touch, and the awkward hand movements were embarrassing to even call masturbation. But it felt good. I won't deny the fact that it happened. Even after the heat in my body had completely cooled down, my hand kept wanting to go back down there. I remember it clearly. The fact that it felt good enough to make my lower abdomen tingle was firmly branded into my mind.
…Ah, of course, that doesn't mean I’ve started liking lewd things now…. Not at all.
"…."
Heat cycle. Having established such an embarrassing hypothesis, and with nothing else to do, I searched a little more about Gumiho. Perhaps other Gumiho besides Shizuka had said similar things, and if so, I could infer the existence of a heat cycle through cross-verification. But unfortunately, I couldn't find any information that seemed related to Shizuka’s statement. There was only a flood of cheap, repetitive information claiming that all Gumiho are perverts.
Frustrated, I thought about asking another Gumiho, but it was just a thought; I never put it into action. For an obvious reason. Every Gumiho other than me was living an honorable life. A life with no connection to crime. An honorable life.
After staring at my phone for nearly an hour, I escaped the internet, which was filled with nothing but trash, and buried my face in my pillow.
"I don't know. Forget it…. It's annoying…."
So what if a heat cycle really exists? I can just masturbate… or something when it happens. Stroke around the clitoris. Insert a fingertip just slightly into the vaginal opening and pull it out…. Like that. There’s no need to be promiscuous in my relationships with the opposite sex like other Gumiho. There are even Gumiho who live without being promiscuous. I can just live like them. Like a human. Without shame.
"Hoo…."
Perhaps because I’d been holding it for too long, my phone felt slightly warm. I tossed it onto the head of the bed and headed to the kitchen. The living room, which had been unnecessarily crowded because there were three of us just a while ago. I looked at that scene, which was already blurring as I superimposed it over the empty living room, and approached the water purifier with a light sigh.
"…."
…If that were the case, I wondered why I was experiencing a heat cycle for the first time only today, bringing back the curiosity I had briefly pushed to the back of my mind.
"…Seo Woojin."
The reason that naturally came to mind was, of course, Seo Woojin. It didn't mean I had romantic feelings for him. It was just that if I had to pick something that had been different from usual lately, especially regarding the opposite sex, it had to be him. But as much as I lacked such affection, the question of why Seo Woojin also bloomed at the same time.
Affection, of course, and sexual desire as well. All I felt was the thought of how I could get him back together with Yozora, so to point to Seo Woojin as the cause of the heat felt… …somehow lacking. In the first place, when people say they are "in heat," you usually think of lewd things. Like feeling you absolutely have to have sex with that person right now…. Or that you can't think of anything but lewd thoughts, like whether your panties are wet just by looking at them, or whatever. But to say Seo Woojin wasn't the cause just because I didn't have those reactions—there was nowhere else to point.
"Don't tell me Yoo Siwoo…. …is nonsense…."
Gulp, gulp. After wetting my throat with cold water, I placed the empty glass in the sink, let out a mocking sigh, and returned to my room. If I still didn't know, couldn't I just stop by the infirmary tomorrow and check? I came up with a very simple answer.
How long had I walked since leaving the infirmary? Unable to even hold my head up properly due to shame, I saw the women's restroom sign right in front of me and went inside. Fortunately, my face in the mirror looked no different than usual. If I had to compare, it might have turned a little red, but that was it. Not enough to raise any suspicion even if someone else saw it. Thanks to that, I let out a sigh of relief and tapped the innocent sink with my fist.
If it had turned bright red…. I would have had to hole up in a restroom stall until it was okay. Glancing to the side belatedly, I saw the restroom stalls slightly open because they weren't locked. Fortunately, there were no locked stalls, as if no one was using them first. Confirming that there was no sign of anyone inside or outside the restroom, I finally let out a "Haa—" and began to wash the wrist Seo Woojin had touched under the running water.
-Splaaash
To be honest, I had even considered the possibility that I would immediately go into heat and get into trouble the moment he touched me. Unlike my expectations, I felt a sense of doubt at my own body, which was perfectly fine.
"What is this, really…."
Although I called it a hypothesis, I was actually half-convinced. It was clear that my body condition had gone wrong because of Seo Woojin. Seo Woojin and Han Su-a had briefly intruded into my daily life, which had been flowing no differently than usual, and the very next day, I experienced my first heat cycle. If so, wouldn't it be the normal flow of thought to suspect those two? Therefore, going to find Seo Woojin myself and having him touch my body was to prove the hypothesis as quickly as possible.
…Strangely enough. Unlike my heart, which had been worried about going into heat again, nothing changed just from having my wrist grabbed by Seo Woojin. My face had flushed slightly, but it felt more like embarrassment than heat. My body temperature, which had become hot enough to make me feel dazed yesterday, remained quiet without any changes.
With results like this, it meant I had been completely deluding myself all alone. …How embarrassing.
"Haa…."
Is it really not because of Seo Woojin? Then what on earth is the cause? If it's not Seo Woojin, could it be the student Su-a, who had been supporting me for a long time? Even if there’s no information, I don't think I would go into heat because of a woman…. Ah, now that I think about it, the fever didn't start until I got home yesterday, right? So it might take some time for my body to react. Maybe 20 to 30 minutes. In that case, it would be better to take a break from the next class using student council activities as an excuse….
Mixing what I learned this time with my previous experience, I continued to infer, dried my water-soaked hands, and left the restroom. At that moment, a familiar face approached from the opposite side of the hallway.
"Ah, good morning. Seo-yeon."
"…."
Seo-yeon, she said. Every time I heard it, I thought it was an old-fashioned title that only belonged in a museum, but since the person was an elderly man, it couldn't be helped. Looking at his white, slicked-back hair mixed with sparse black strands, and the beard he had trimmed in a way he probably thought looked cool, I naturally lifted the corners of my mouth and began to act as the "Student Council President Baek Seo-yeon in front of the Principal," as I always did.
"Hello, Principal."
"Yes, yes. I know, I know, so straighten your back. I told you there's no need to be so formal in front of me; it makes me feel uncomfortable every time we meet."
"No. I'm comfortable like this."
"Oh my…. These days, kids are too lazy to even bow properly, just moving their mouths…."
Was Principal Seok Jae-hwa from the provinces? Or was it just a dry joke? As I, who was recalling Principal Seok Jae-hwa’s profile, kept a gentle smile while pretending to be humble, he lifted the corners of his mouth heartily, approached me, and patted my shoulder hard. Perhaps because he was a former evolutionary-type hero famous for being simple and ignorant, his hand was quite heavy.
"I hope you get good grades in this midterm evaluation as well. In all my time as principal, I haven't seen many students who work as hard as you, Seo-yeon."
"Yes…."
As expected. He still mistakes me for a hard worker. I’ve just been adjusting my power appropriately from freshman year until now. Anyway, after that, a somewhat long, idle chat followed, as expected of an elderly person. There was a strangely unpleasant story about how if he had a son, he would want me as a daughter-in-law, or a story about whether I had decided on a career path, or if I was interested in a junior he knew among the mutant-types, or if there were any problems with student council activities.
Just as I was about to answer that there were no problems yet, but if any arose, I would be sure to tell the Principal—
"There is a problem, President. The student council room Wi-Fi cuts out sometimes."
"Ah, Siwoo. I heard that during the last winter break, the evaluation from the agency was quite……."
"No, no. That much is……."
"…."
Yoo Siwoo, who had approached silently from behind, stopped close to my side. So close that our shoulders lightly brushed. …No, so close that they actually touched slightly. As we were in the positions of Student Council President and Vice President, it was as if we were close friends.
"Wi-Fi, huh…. Is it just a matter of changing the machine? I’ll mention it separately. Anything other than that?"
"None!"
"…."
I clearly remember spitting out words that were practically "Stop talking nonsense about nursing and get lost" in a fit of anger when I met him at the convenience store yesterday. Had he not cared about that because he had been cursed at by me for so long? Or was it because the principal was watching right in front of us? Yoo Siwoo answered in a voice that didn't feel heavy at all, just like his usual self, and bowed 90 degrees to the principal, who was leaving first.
"…."
…I hate him. That kind of him.
"Phew…. Now the internet won't cut out when I'm switching."
"…."
From his voice to his actions. Acting just as I had known him to be.
"Oh, President. Are you feeling okay? You looked very sick yesterday."
"…I took medicine and slept, so I'm fine."
Even while saying that, he was slyly digging into what happened yesterday.
"Medicine? You said you'd call the infirmary teacher, but I guess you didn't."
"…How can I call a man to a house where a woman lives alone? I just said that because I didn't want you to nurse me yourself."
"Aha~"
He believed my hastily made-up lie, which I hadn't thought through, completely. Even though I told him openly that I hated him, perhaps because it was something that always happened, he didn't show any unpleasant expression. Full of playful laughter.
"Then if you get sick next time, I'll bring a few other student council friends along with me instead of just me. That should work."
"…! Hey, wait a minute…."
…Naturally. He, who was trying to wrap his arm around my waist. I hate him.
"What are you doing, you creep…?"
"Hmm…. My own way of expressing affection? Other girls liked it."
"I, no, I told you last time. Go do that to the girls who like you."
"I'm doing it because I want you to like me more than them, President."
"I've told you repeatedly, that will never happen, so give up."
"If you keep saying that, even I get hurt, you know? Just yesterday, I was upset when you said you didn't want to be nursed by me."
Was it because I moved away as soon as I saw his shoulder move? Instead of trying to wrap his arm around my waist a few more times, Yoo Siwoo gave up cleanly and began to scratch his cheek awkwardly. I hate that shamelessness. I hate the suddenness. I hate the filthy sexual desire he shows so blatantly. But because I knew he would just look at me as if I were cute if I told him honestly, I chose to turn my body and walk away instead of talking to him further.
"President. Are you going to class? Honestly, someone like you……."
"I'll handle it myself, so mind your own business."
"Don't you have documents left to process? Since you were sick yesterday, I'll specially help you today without playing games……."
"I said I'll handle it myself."
…Perhaps because I was slightly angry. Forgetting the plan to skip the next class using the student council as an excuse, just in case.
Step. Step.