[Lee Hayoon, Lee Jiyoon (3)]
Hmm. So she finally did it. Declared war on Jiyoon. …Honestly, it felt less like a declaration of war and more like a puppy yapping at a thief.
"Haaah…."
Even if I had a little liquid courage, wasn't I too direct? I let out a sigh as I carefully scooped white rice into the bowl. If we were strangers, it wouldn't matter, but Jiyoon and I are family. We have to see each other's faces every day; I should have probably been a bit more subtle.
For example…, …right. I could have probed her by asking if she really only went to the PC bang with Woojin last time, right? If I had interrogated her just enough and then stopped, Jiyoon would have gotten the hint. Like, Ah. My sister has figured it out.
"…."
Should I skip Jiyoon's bowl? Would that make me look too petty? …No. Given the circumstances, Jiyoon was the one who kept making troublesome requests of my boyfriend first, so isn't it okay for me to be a little sulky as his girlfriend?
After agonizing over the empty bowl, I eventually scooped the rice and set the table as usual. The reason is the same as it was a moment ago. Because we have to see each other's faces every morning. It would be a problem if the atmosphere turned completely sour, wouldn't it? I don't like that she met with Woojin behind my back and made those troublesome requests…, but if you ask me if I'm that angry, I can understand Jiyoon's feelings, so it's not quite at that level.
Close friends. Guy friends. Girl friends. If she just maintains that kind of relationship, I don't intend to make a huge fuss. But no matter how much I concede, sex… is really not okay. As long as it's not that, well…. Even playing games together is….
"…Ah, hmm."
"…."
As I was untying my apron, struggling with complex emotions that were hard to put into words, click, Jiyoon's door opened. From her signature "everything is a bother" expression to her neatly worn academy uniform, my younger sister walked out looking no different than usual—except for the fact that she looked exhausted, as if she’d had a restless night. Well, I suppose I should add: usual, after harboring unspeakable feelings for Woojin.
"A-are you going to eat…?"
"…You told me to."
"Huh?"
"You told me to eat breakfast. You did, sister."
Yeah. I did say that. But you know that's not what I meant by bringing it up now. …Ugh. Is she so indifferent even after what happened yesterday, or is she just pretending not to care because she, like me, hates the atmosphere being ruined…?
I scratched my cheek and sat down, and Jiyoon set her coat aside and sat across from me.
"…."
"…."
And then, we continued our breakfast in silence. The only sounds reaching my ears were the small clinking noises of cutlery hitting the dishes. I wanted to say a word to Jiyoon, who was openly picking at her food, but I let it slide. I wanted to ask if she was okay when she dropped the meat she was holding with her chopsticks and rubbed her eyes as if tired, but I let it slide. Even though I wanted to talk a little about what happened yesterday, I felt like both Jiyoon and I would choke if I brought it up now, so I let it slide.
But then, to say something like, "You'll be able to meet a good guy later, too,"… that really didn't feel right, so I swallowed the words along with a small piece of braised anchovy. To her, Woojin is likely that 'good guy,' and she’s suppressing her feelings as much as possible just because I’m already seeing him. How could I tell Jiyoon she could meet a good guy—no, a guy better than Woojin? That’s not a kind word, nor is it forgiveness. It’s just something a psychopath would say.
"…."
"…."
After repeating the thought of Is it okay to say just this much? over and over again, we eventually finished our meal without a word. …I think this was the first time in my 21 years of life that something like this has happened.
177
100,000 won. Depending on the person, it’s money that could be felt as small or large. But it’s definitely a large sum to pay for mere laundry fees. Unless I had a hobby of buying expensive clothes, I’m the type who doesn't really swipe my card as long as I’m getting by, so I should probably pay her back at least a little if I ever happen to meet Seol Dabin again. Of course, she probably wouldn't accept it if I said I’d return the whole amount, so I’d have to say it’s too much and offer to return half, get her account number, and then return the full 100,000 won…. Something like that.
Ah, I’m not doing this out of pure goodwill. That’s maybe 5% of the reason? The other 95% is for a different reason.
Seol Dabin. She looked pretty good in person. That is 95% of the reason.
"If my memory serves me right…."
She had a pretty solid fan base, too. I muttered to myself, typed the name Seol Dabin into the internet address bar, then clicked my tongue and closed the window. Of course, there’s no information now, but the Seol Dabin of a few years from now was a hero about whom you could find out quite a lot just by searching.
Would it be accurate to say she felt like someone just below Lee Jiyoon or Han Su-a back then? While Lee Jiyoon avoided talking to people altogether and Han Su-a’s acting was clumsy enough that you could slightly feel she was treating fans as a business relationship, Seol Dabin was quite kind to her fans despite looking like a delinquent. I’d seen a few posts from people saying they’d shaken hands with a woman for the first time thanks to her.
Thanks to that, there were many eyewitness accounts and photos taken with her, so based on that, I had narrowed down the range of where Seol Dabin lived, at least roughly…. Well, after hearing the news that she had a childhood friend she’d been dating for a long time, I’d pushed her down the priority list, thinking a virgin was better than a worn-out non-virgin.
"…."
I heard that her fan base had thinned out slightly, just like me when I lost interest after hearing about her boyfriend, but well, that’s just the story of idiots who called themselves fans while harboring romantic feelings. To be honest, it’s not like the word 'fan-love' is purely platonic. A normal fan wouldn't completely turn their back on the news that she’d been dating her childhood friend for over 10 years. In fact, many people would probably cheer her on for her pure love.
…But, if other strange news were to reach them, not something like that. If the people who were cheering her on were to turn their backs, saying, "Ah, this is a bit much," that would be quite fun.
"…Hmm."
Anyway, since the current Seol Dabin is also dating her childhood friend for a long time, I’d need a 'justification' worth using to wedge myself into that relationship even a little bit…. Laundry fees alone feel far from enough. This is just like finding a ticket on the ground by luck. To continue meeting Seol Dabin… wouldn't I have to create at least enough debt, like saving her life, or saving the life of her current boyfriend, Baek…, Baek-whatever?
…But how? Should I just wait blankly until one of the two gets hurt?
"I-is anyone there?"
"…Ah."
It was early morning, too early for students to be swarming in. As I was hitting backspace to delete the first idea I’d written in my laptop notepad, the infirmary door opened slightly, and someone’s voice drifted in. Even if it was morning, if they had business in the infirmary, I wish they’d knock first. Did they open the door hoping I wouldn't be here? I shoved the sudden irritation into a corner for a moment and replied with a soft smile.
"Yes. Come in…, ah, it was you, Noona."
"'It was you, Noona'? Can't you even recognize my voice?"
"It’s usually fine, but since you were on the other side of the door and using formal speech, I was a bit confused."
"I was worried there might be other students…. Then from now on, should I knock and say, 'Lee Hayoon is coming in'?"
"Do as you like. The embarrassment will be yours, Noona."
"…You bad guy."
No wonder the voice sounded familiar. The person who poked her head through the door was none other than Lee Hayoon. She approached me with both hands tucked firmly into the fleece jacket she wore over her uniform.
"…."
…But seeing her come to find me like this from the morning, it’s obvious.
"…U-um, Woojin-ah."
"Yes."
"About yesterday. What I told you…, …that thing."
"…You mean Jiyoon?"
As expected, Lee Hayoon nodded and quietly sat on the chair in front of me. If the topic of conversation is Lee Jiyoon, and especially Lee Jiyoon, who has started to be suspected by her own sister, this isn't a conversation I can have with my brain turned off. Jealousy is a quite useful emotion, but if I make a mistake, it could lead to betrayal directed at me. Perhaps she might even end up mixing flesh with me right in front of her sister. In the worst case, she might even develop a sense of possessiveness and try to control me 24 hours a day. If I had to choose, what I want is closer to the former; I’d rather see her and her sister licking my cock as if competing with each other than being dragged around by Lee Hayoon.
"…Ah, Noona. Would you like this?"
"…Thank you."
I opened the drawer for a moment and handed Lee Hayoon a small orange candy I’d bought a while ago. Even if the conversation is what’s important, Lee Hayoon quite likes sweet things, including desserts. Even if it’s not a big help, it’s better than doing nothing. Lee Hayoon, who popped the candy into her mouth, said to me.
"I, um…, yesterday…."
"…."
Her voice is cautious. I didn't have a good feeling about this.
"I told you… not to get too close to Jiyoon, right?"
"You did."
"I was a bit drunk then, so I don't remember for sure, but…. …Anyway."
"…."
"…U-um, to summarize briefly, games are okay. Yeah."
Games are okay. Instead of summarizing this briefly, let’s tear it apart piece by piece and guess: I roughly know you two are doing something behind my back. But I don't know exactly what you did, right? It’s unpleasant, but I’ll turn a blind eye to what you’ve done so far. Don't ever do it again in the future. If I catch you, I’ll beat you up.
"Up to games…. …Yes."
I continued my train of thought, gave a reaction as if I were agreeing, and then lowered my gaze, pretending to be sorry. Because it didn't seem right to react as if nothing was different from usual. Wouldn't Lee Hayoon be saying that because she had some suspicious circumstances, not just baseless speculation? So, it would be better to… admit it to a certain extent and move on. As I suppressed my smile and nodded, her expression improved slightly at just that, and she tapped the desk with her palm as she continued.
It seems she thought the atmosphere had become too heavy just because I said one word.
"W-well, that doesn't mean you have to be awkward with Jiyoon!"
"…."
"…U-um…. As long as you fend off her strange requests well, well…."
"Strange requests?"
"Ah, you know. You know? That…. …Um. …This."
"…?"
I wondered what a strange request could be, and soon Lee Hayoon thrust her hand in front of me as if to demonstrate. She made a ring with her fingers.
"…Don't do things like this with Jiyoon in the future."
Inside that ring, she poked two fingers in and out, slowly. Squish, squish.
"…."
"…."
…No matter how I try to look at it differently, it’s sex. The target is another woman. And her own sister, at that. It’s the most certain proof that I cheated. It’s evidence that would leave me with nothing to say even if she punched my shoulder right now or spat out hateful words saying she hates a man like me.
"A-are you listening?"
"…Yes."
"You won't do it in the future, right? With Jiyoon…?"
"…."
But in Lee Hayoon’s words that followed, there were no thorns. Because the phrase 'her sister's strange request' that Lee Hayoon had used was swirling in my head. Because I could roughly guess what Lee Hayoon had thought while watching me and her sister, whose fault she thought everything that had happened so far was, and because I felt like I knew what she meant when she begged me to kiss her in front of Lee Jiyoon last night, and what she meant when she came all the way to my house to be held by me before that.
After a moment of contemplation, I swallowed the mocking laughter that was about to leak out. With a troubled expression.
"…Well."
Thump. I cast the dice. A garbage die with zeros on five sides.