Relationships (2)
“Is there a chance of getting pregnant on a safe day? What are the odds of pregnancy if we have sex without a condom? My... my boyfriend has ejaculated inside me several times; does that increase the chances of pregnancy?”
“...Sigh...”
It was a night where falling asleep early was completely out of the question. Tucked deep under my blanket, I typed in various search queries, my heart calming down as I read through the countless answers that flooded the screen. Naturally, the probability of pregnancy on a safe day was infinitely close to 0%. Even if he came inside once, or if he did it five or six times like Seo Woojin had just done, filling my womb with semen—still 0%. Of course, if one’s menstrual cycle wasn't perfectly regular, there could be unexpected variables, but regardless, if you properly avoided the fertile window, the pregnancy risk itself was said to be almost 0%.
...Perhaps the reason they don't say "There is absolutely no way" is just to avoid responsibility in the off-chance of an outlier. Anyway, this much was enough; I didn't need to stress myself out by getting emergency contraception. If my cycle had been irregular, I would have snuck off to the hospital tomorrow without Lee Hayoon knowing, but that wasn't the case, and there was still plenty of time until my fertile window... Mm-hmm. Let’s just stop worrying. Now. I’d spent so much time searching just in case that it had gotten way too late. What am I doing, staying up this late? Like an idiot.
“I almost regretted letting him ejaculate inside just because of the mood... Asshole...”
With a curse whispered under my breath, I let out the breath I’d been holding, and only then did I feel a bit of relief. At the same time, I pulled down the top bar of my phone to check the time: 2:10 AM. Not as late as I thought. My sexual frustration had been resolved one way or another, so if I fell asleep quickly now, I wouldn't be sleeping slumped over my desk tomorrow.
Twirling a lock of hair around my index finger, I felt relieved and went to the living room to drink a glass of water. Then, I slid back into the warm, cozy blanket for a deep sleep...
“......”
...I tried to. But strangely, it wasn't as easy as I’d hoped.
“...Ugh.”
Even on the pitch-black screen I saw when I closed my eyes. Even on the dark ceiling I saw when I opened them. It was because my field of vision from a few hours ago kept repeating infinitely.
One scene where I pressed my face into the pillow and moaned. Another scene where, when breathing became difficult, I shoved a pillow under my neck and gasped, huff, huff, exhaling ragged breaths. A scene where I was kissing my sister’s boyfriend—the one who always smiled so brightly at me—in a way that was suffocatingly secret...
Beyond that, memories of having sex against the bathroom wall before I’d even squeezed body wash onto the shower towel, or memories of having sex while gripping the toilet because it was too slippery and uncomfortable, or memories of me diligently licking his cock on my own without being asked, while Seo Woojin, looking satisfied, washed it off with water.
“......”
...And on top of that, the video he took on my phone, and a few photos he snapped without even bothering to focus properly. Those kept popping into my head, making my heart pound wildly. It would be one thing if tomorrow were a holiday, but I had to wake up early like any other day to attend classes.
“Haa...”
Well, this is unavoidable, isn't it? I slept with him before Lee Hayoon, and I’m even doing everything else a step ahead of my sister, so it’s only natural that I’d be thinking about it all day. I’m definitely not the only one like this, right? Honestly, compared to some truly absurd, unique fetishes, this is pretty normal... Mm-hmm... Come to think of it, Seo Woojin is just as bad as me for not putting up a wall and playing along.
“......”
Even I knew it was a forced excuse, so I covered myself up to my head and kicked my legs for a moment. Then, gathering my earphones and a towel, I muttered, “Just 10 minutes...” and fiddled with my phone. And somehow, I swear to heaven, somehow, after only about two hours of sleep, this was what I faced in the morning.
“...Jiyoon.”
“Oh, uh?”
“Did you play games at dawn?”
“...I, I did? Yeah. Not a lot, just a little. About an hour.”
“You went to the PC bang with Woojin, so why... ...Ugh. Was it because of the keyboard sounds that you couldn't sleep properly...?”
“......”
My sister looked much more exhausted than usual.
146. Spy. A job that only an "elite" skilled at hiding themselves can take on—infiltrating a hostile organization while concealing one's identity, reaching the leadership, and leaking information to one's allies... It had been about a month since that firm belief was shattered.
“Haaaa...”
“Senior. Should I go buy you a coffee?”
“Cafe Mocha. Iced.”
“Cafe Mocha... Is there anything else? A sandwich, maybe? Or a pretzel?”
“I’m not particularly hungry. I think I’ll be fine as long as I get some sugar and caffeine.”
“Then I’ll buy it on my way back with my drink.”
“...Here. Use this card. Pay for them together.”
“Ah. Thank you...”
The reason is quite obvious, but since there’s no one around to vent to, I’ll mention it just one more time. Yozora, who is currently in the first-year classroom, giggling and chatting as if she’s the same age as the two-year-younger students. That alcoholic, crazy bitch still walking around the academy perfectly fine without her identity being discovered is the biggest cause.
...Seriously, I’m worried I’ll get sick somewhere because of her. Whether it’s stress-induced gastritis, enteritis, a headache, or all of those things at once. Whenever I run into Yozora in the hallway, she’s the one who waves at me first, and is it normal that no one suspects a thing? It’s not like she and I even met through the student council, so couldn't they just casually ask, "Senior, do you know that first-year?" We don't have any connection yet, right? It’s incredibly suspicious, isn't it? So why, even after seeing us together, don't they have even the slightest doubt? Besides, I’m a third-year and she’s a first-year. No, wait, before that, I’ve been consistently ignoring Yozora, yet she’s the only one who keeps smiling and greeting me, so why? Is my expression so rigid that they can’t even ask such a trivial question...? ...Maybe it is a rigid expression...
“Haaaa...”
“You’ve been sighing a lot lately, Senior.”
“...Don't peek at people without permission.”
“Who asks for permission to peek? And I’ve been looking openly from the start.”
I was resting my chin on my hand to clear my head when that unpleasant voice reached my ears. When I replied without even turning my gaze, a shameless response came back. It happened all the time, so I didn't pay much attention to it... ...No. Honestly, it was a bit unpleasant. How could I like a guy I have no interest in who keeps clinging to me saying he likes me? I just hold it in because I can't curse at him to his face.
“I hope you won't look at me openly from now on.”
“Then I’ll peek from next time. Senior. Would it be okay if I peeked at you while you work?”
“I believe the age of criminal responsibility is 14. You, Yoo Siwoo, are a full-grown adult.”
“It’s not a crime if you don't get caught, right? And why are you suddenly calling me by my name? We’ve been seeing each other for almost a year now, we’re super close.”
“I feel sorry for Miren Academy for harboring you, so I’m calling you by your title.”
“Aha. Then should I call you Student Council President Baek Seoyeon from now on? Or maybe Seoyeon-noona?”
“I just wish we didn't have to chat.”
“But I want to keep talking to Seoyeon-noona.”
“...”
“Yes, yes. Senior. I won't tease you anymore, so please don't glare at me.”
When I reflexively looked toward where the voice came from due to my rising irritation, the sofa he always used as a bed caught my eye. Or was it called a couch? The Vice Student Council President, who was busy pressing buttons on a game console while lying on it, also came into view. Of course, unlike me, he didn't even spare a glance in this direction.
...A moron who doesn't do a single thing he’s supposed to. A piece of trash who knows all too well that he’s handsome. A man who would probably account for 50% of my stress-related illnesses. I know that having a habit of sighing is bad, but I can't stop because of Yozora and that guy. It would be one thing if it were just him and me in the student council room, but there were a few other second-years sitting over there, so I couldn't understand what he was doing at all.
I feel like if I challenged him to a duel and half-killed him, he’d become obedient, but since that guy’s skills weren't bad either, if I attacked him in a fit of rage, an unexpected variable might arise...
“...”
Should I kill him with a surprise attack on a suitable day? The dangerous thought lasted only a moment. I sighed, keeping the sound low so it wouldn't be heard, and continued.
“I’m going to get some fresh air, so don't follow me.”
“Where are you going?”
“Somewhere you aren't.”
“What if I follow you around?”
“The women’s restroom.”
“I guess you don't think I can get in there?”
“...Didn't you say you wouldn't tease me anymore?”
“Well, that’s because when I say that, you make a face like you’re looking at a ‘disgusting bastard’.”
“...Are you a pervert?”
“I do like lewd things, don't I? In the first place, there wouldn't be a man who dislikes them, right?”
The eyes that had been staring only at the game screen until now gaze steadily at me as I walk out. Fortunately, it was the same kind of look that the guys nearby often sent my way, so it wasn't that repulsive. To be precise, it was repulsive, but I’ve become quite desensitized to it—that would be more accurate... Well, whatever. It’s not important.
“If you follow me, I’ll kill you. For real.”
“I won't go. I won't. Don't worry and go, Senior.”
“...”
“Ah, I’ll let you know when the coffee arrives?”
Thud. I closed the door gently and walked down the hallway, checking to see if anyone was around. ...Ah. So this is why people learn to smoke. I thought to myself as I walked.