Jealousy (2)
Tap, tap. The dry sound of a whiteboard marker striking the board drifted around Han Su-a’s ears before fading away.
"Since urban crime always carries the risk of building collapse..."
The teacher’s voice, layered over the sound of the marker, drifted away just the same. A friend’s light sneeze and the sound of them rubbing their nose? Same thing. The chirping of sparrows outside the window, continuing their unintelligible conversation? Same thing. Every single sound swirled softly around Han Su-a’s ears, then fell away, powerless.
The reason? Isn't it obvious? She was attending class in a half-asleep state. Besides, in the infirmary, that... well... anyway. Right now, even keeping her eyes open was an ordeal.
"......"
It had been about thirty minutes since the class started. Han Su-a hadn't managed to fill a single character in the notebook she’d spread out. Far from trying to cram the lesson content into her head or moving her hand, she was just nodding off, her head bobbing.
...Well, in truth, even when she was perfectly fine, her focus during lecture-based classes was abysmal, but today it was even worse. Her mind kept wandering to other things.
The fact that she’d been kneeling in front of the infirmary bed since morning, sucking his... the fact that she’d tried to sandwich it between her breasts, claiming she wanted to give him a paizuri, and eventually, that... face-down on the bed... ...Ugh. Why, why did I do that? Did I go crazy for a moment because I watched too much porn at dawn? Did I lose the line between dream and reality?
"......"
...The dirty stuff, it felt good, but...
"......"
It felt good, but...! It hadn't even been 24 hours since we established that you and I are just sex partners and won't have sex, yet in a place without Yozora, wearing a condom, in a beastly position, thwack, thwack... Was it... two times? Or three? No, no, was it four? Anyway, the mating... ...that.
"...Nngh..."
Just then, someone poked Han Su-a’s arm, which had been resting defenselessly, with a mechanical pencil. It was a sting sharp enough to wake her slightly, but a poke of such subtle intensity that it didn't make her jump. Naturally, it was Yozora, sitting right next to her, giggling.
Han Su-a, who glanced sideways, began to press hard on both her eyes with the heels of her palms. Of course, doing this didn't wash away the fatigue at all, but making at least this much of a reaction was the bare minimum of courtesy. ...And, because she was embarrassed that she’d done it right away after saying so much that they wouldn't have sex yesterday, her cheeks were burning hot.
- Thank you.
- ( ._.)
As she wrote the words in the blank space of Yozora’s notebook, Yozora drew an unidentifiable face underneath. It looked like it was nodding, but it also looked like it was glaring. ...I really couldn't tell what it was, no matter how much I looked at it.
'It looks kind of infuriating...'
Han Su-a, who had been blankly alternating her gaze between Yozora’s beaming smile and the writing, added a little more, hoping it might help her wake up. Originally, doing something else secretly during class is the most fun. Why, things you wouldn't even glance at normally become incredibly interesting when you look at them during "class time." For example, EBS or things like that.
- I'm so sleepy... I really can't follow the class at all.
- That can happen. Well, losing sleep is a common occurrence, after all.
Yozora smiled bashfully, propping her chin on one hand, and went along with the distraction. Why is she better at handwriting than me, even though she’s Japanese? As she was having that thought, Yozora’s pen continued to scratch across the notebook.
- I guess you watched a lot of dirty things at dawn?
She poked right at the heart of the matter. While Han Su-a tried to hide her expression somehow, she couldn't erase the wavering in her eyes as she stared straight at Yozora.
"......"
"......"
In the end, it was Han Su-a who looked away first. Do you not have the emotion of "shame"? No, wait, that’s not it. You were clearly very shy when we met at the crosswalk this morning. Now, it’s like if you see even a tiny connection, you want to drag it into a dirty conversation somehow... As expected, she’s a pervert. And a dark, creepy pervert who even saves her boyfriend’s number as "Master" at that.
Han Su-a, who had been glancing at Yozora, began to write down cautiously.
- I just didn't get much sleep...
- Why are you suddenly using formal language? And, is that the truth?
- Why would I lie about something like this...
- Hmm. Didn't you lose sleep because you masturbated using the sex I had with Woojin as a side dish?
Far from being cautious, she began to scribble rapidly.
- It’s not like that! Side dish, what side dish, and what’s with the masturbation suddenly? I’ve never done that once because I think it’s vulgar.
- Hmm. Yesterday on the bed, clearly...
- I didn't. Masturbate.
- Hmm. You did.
Imagining Yozora, who would only make panting sounds with her face buried in the sofa backrest, I masturbated. Imagining the two of you having sex, thwack, thwack, with your tongues intertwined while lying on the bed, I masturbated. Imagining how I would end up if something like that really entered my body, filling my head with delusions, I masturbated all night long. That was why I couldn't admit it even more. Because... it was embarrassing.
- I see. So it wasn't.
After the scratching sound ended, what she saw when she lowered her head was Yozora’s cute handwriting, accepting it in a somewhat strange tone. Han Su-a, agonizing over how to answer that, ended up just biting her lip and looking away. Like that, by doing other things and thinking other thoughts, the first period ended.
"......Phew..."
Behind them, Lee Jiyoon, letting out a dissatisfied sigh, was much the same.
Secret. This short, two-syllable word is, contrary to appearances, actually quite lacking in the flavor of excitement. Think about it. The story of how you woke up as a kid and the bedding was wet, the story of how you managed to get a decent amount of pocket money by rummaging through your parents' winter clothes in the summer, the story of enjoying otaku culture in your own studio apartment while thoroughly cosplaying as a normal person at home and outside—all of these certainly qualify for the word "secret"... but these are closer to suspense filled with tension, and it’s a bit difficult to see them as being close to a word like "excitement." Even if the gist of "pitter-patter" is similar to each other.
However, there is a way to easily overlay fresh excitement onto this word "secret." The method is very simple. Just slip the word "dating" behind the word "secret," and you’re done.
"I broke up yesterday."
"......"
Immediately after the rescue and first aid training session ended. Among the friends sitting around as usual, one friend threw out the words as if they were nothing. The person who was hit by those words was none other than Lee Hayun. Lee Hayun, who had been sucking on a banana milk while sitting in a chair in a posture as bad for her lower back as possible. She froze in place.
Fortunately, there was no friend who could catch this suspicious reaction of Lee Hayun and trace it back step by step to a "secret relationship." It wasn't that there wasn't a detective among her friends who was that persistent and capable, but rather that they were busy empathizing with the friend who said she broke up yesterday.
"I thought that would happen."
"Me too. Ah, didn't we bet money on this?"
"I don't know. I forgot."
"Last time, you said he was a high school boy, right? It’s an opportunity to have legal school uniform sex with a high school girl if you put your mind to it, so why date you?"
"She just mistook the heart-pounding feeling of almost dying for love."
"Ah, right. The... suspension bridge effect? Anyway, I’ve heard that exists scientifically. That’s exactly it."
"You fucking bitches..."
"......"
Is that not it? Well, anyway. Lee Hayun didn't bother to add a word and quietly went along with it. Jiyoon, who she thought might need to be hidden, now also knows that we are dating. Woojin, too, never said anything firmly like "never tell anyone" or "definitely tell everyone," just giving the feeling that it didn't matter much to him whether she revealed it to others or not if Lee Hayun wanted to. So, whether she revealed it herself someday or was caught by a friend while on a date by chance, neither would cause any big problems, but...
"......"
Perhaps because it was her first relationship in her life, it was too difficult to find the timing to tell them.
'What do I do?'
When on earth am I supposed to tell my friends about this?? Should I just keep hiding it like this? But, I... I also want to brag about it... Ugh... Lee Hayun hid behind her friend, chewing on an innocent straw for no reason. Fortunately, there was no friend who pointed out the tip of her trembling ponytail this time either.
"This is why the MBTI trend is so annoying. They say everything they want to say and then go, 'Sorry, I’m a T.'"
"There’s nothing like it for talking to someone you’re seeing for the first time."
"Right. And isn't this better than forcing empathy while even calculating?"
"Agreed."
"...Anyway, I’m mentally and physically weak today..."
"Hmm. What’s the next class?"
"Practical training. That... rescue thing we did earlier."
"If I get paired with her, the evaluation will be ruined."
The sounds of them chatting noisily about trivial topics mixed with the sounds of the children in the class, growing in volume. The sound of someone yawning, saying they were already tired, was the same. If she said, "I’m dating the school nurse" in this situation... it would be perfect for being treated as an attention seeker. I don't know, I don't know. There will be a better time later. For now, I’ll just let it slide. Or... Ah, right. How about I ask to go home with Woojin for no reason today, and walk right next to him? Then, if my friends "accidentally" see us tomorrow and grill me about what kind of relationship I have with Woojin, then, actually, I... this and that... ...Hmm. Is that a bit natural...?
"......"
...Good. Let’s try it starting today.
Along with the resolution of "Let’s try it starting today," the bubblegum she was blowing popped with a pop sound. It wasn't because she saw a strange sight. She just made a mistake. "Phew..."
School dismissal time. Lee Hayun, who licked off the soda-flavored bubblegum that had lightly stuck to her lips with her tongue, arrived in front of the infirmary with both hands stuffed tightly into her fleece pockets. Something, she felt nervous. Even though she’d sent a ton of KakaoTalk messages and visited the infirmary pretending to be hurt during the day to talk and play with Woojin, she still felt that way. Well, it was understandable. Because she was currently planning to carry out the operation of "walking home with Woojin, subtly showing off that we are dating, and then getting asked questions"...!
This required a very subtle sense of distance. If she showed a distance that made people think, "Are they dating?" by hugging his arm or something, wasn't it a bit embarrassing? Besides, I’m the older sister, so why would I hug his arm? If anyone is going to hug, Seo Woojin should hug my arm. Yes. Even so, if she walked far away, to others, it would be no different from Teacher 1 and Student 1. As the saying goes, there’s no smoke without fire, so she had to light the fire first. To do that, they had to stick together... But, to what extent? A distance where their arms would brush against each other while walking? A distance where she could grab his fingers when she slightly bent the back of her hand? Or just a distance where they could walk holding hands? Should she just jump on his back? ...She didn't know.
Lee Hayun, who blew a bubble again, glanced at the quiet surroundings and grabbed the doorknob. First, it was walking home with Woojin. Distance or whatever, after doing that first...
"Since when did it hurt?"
"...I don't remember. Since middle school, maybe?"
"That’s been a long time. That’s why it’s hard to treat."
"...Quack."
"Well... I guess I am a quack. It’s not like I studied as hard as the doctors."
"...Just hurry up and treat me. Stop stroking my hair."
"I have to touch your body for that, don't I?"
"...Pervert."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Phew... To think I’m dating a pervert like this... ...I’m worried. Really."
The voices of the two came from beyond the door gap. One was the voice of a boy she knew well. The other was also the voice of a girl she knew well. Although she didn't know it herself, people around her said they had a surprisingly similar side—the voice of her younger sister.
"Ah. Older sister."
"...? Lee Hayun..., Ah, no. Did you come, older sister?"
"Yes. Just now."
"......Hi."
As she poked her head into the infirmary, she saw Jiyoon sitting on the edge of the bed, wincing. In front of her, Seo Woojin, who had been sitting in a chair smiling softly, turned his gaze toward her. Lee Hayun greeted them lightly and stepped into the infirmary.
"......"
She knew well that Jiyoon suffered from chronic headaches. She knew well that because of that, she was a bit fierce and rude when dealing with people. She also knew that the two had become quite close with the headache treatment as an opportunity. She knew that Jiyoon, who didn't even have a normal friend, let alone a male friend, had made her first friend. She knew that now the two were in a relationship where they often played games together. She knew that Seo Woojin, who was frustrated seeing Jiyoon always wearing the same clothes, had tried to buy her clothes.
"Hiyah."
"...Older sister, what are you doing?"
So. She just hugged Seo Woojin tightly.
"What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m expressing affection."
"Jiyoon is right in front of us, so why..."
She went in between Jiyoon and Woojin. Squeeze.
"Why are you like this over just this much? You can hug at least. ...It’s not even a kiss."
"Usually you act all dignified, saying you’re the older sister. Why are you like this today? Did you eat something wrong for lunch?"
She swallowed her words, afraid that Jiyoon, who was listening from the side, would worry if she added, "A reward for saving me at the convenience store last time." She swallowed her words, thinking she would look narrow-minded and that she was having unnecessary thoughts looking at her younger sister if she said, "I’m jealous that you and Jiyoon look close." She swallowed her words, thinking she had been acting like the older sister somehow until now, if she said, "Actually, I want to be stroked a lot by you too."
Instead.
"...My choice."
Lee Hayun, who said that, rubbed her face hard against Seo Woojin’s solid body. Because you can’t do this even with close friends.
"...I want to take back what I said earlier. Our older sister seems more like a pervert than you."
"......"
"...Stop that and get out. Lee Hayun. I’m getting treated."
"...Ah, u-ung..."
Because it was something you could only do once you were a girlfriend.