Midterm Exams (7): Whispers Under the Stars
Moonlight poured down, stars twinkling in the late hour.
"It ended way later than I thought."
The second day of sparring.
Both yesterday and today, the spars wrapped up quickly, but by the time I stepped out, it was already late evening. Fighting on an empty stomach without a proper meal had drained me completely.
Was it because I was racking my brain to close the gap with this inadequate body of mine?
"Ah, whatever."
Right now, I just wanted to head back and crash into bed.
So please, don't act like you know me...
"Hey, why are you pretending not to see me?"
"...Ah."
Right in front of the Great Hall building, there was a bench.
A single woman sat there.
The same one who'd been sitting exactly like this last night, chatting with me.
It was Sellin El Soladion.
Honestly, I was too exhausted to deal with her right now...
"I'm seriously beat today."
"So?"
I want to go home.
So leave me alone.
That's what I wanted to say, but...
Her tone, her eyes—they were way too menacing.
"...Never mind."
"Good. Come sit already."
I stared at Sellin as she patted the spot next to her with her hand, then walked over and sat on the bench.
She definitely wasn't like this on the first day.
Back then, she just had that fierce glare and barely said a word.
I hadn't done anything special since, but starting yesterday, her attitude had flipped completely.
What the hell...?
"So, why are you out here alone again today?"
"Just... bored?"
Obviously not the full story.
She was hiding something, but...
"If you don't want to talk about it, don't."
"Yeah, then I won't."
Fine then.
"Anyway, doesn't the night sky look seriously pretty right now?"
"...Out of nowhere?"
Sellin El Soladion gazed up at the sky as she said it to me.
Changing the subject?
"Yeah, it's pretty."
"Right? It's always beautiful here. Even back when I saw it ages ago, it was just like this."
"Ages ago?"
"Yeah. So long ago... I can't even remember when exactly."
Her voice carried a hint of lingering attachment...? No, something similar but not quite.
Memories from the past life, probably.
"What do you like most when you look at a beautiful night sky like this?"
"Like most...? Not sure what you mean."
"You know, the twinkling stars, the black sky, the cool breeze, the moonlight shining down... which one?"
Hmm... Never really thought about it.
If I had to pick one right now.
"The night sky."
"...Why?"
"It's quiet."
"Quiet, huh..."
Sellin murmured my answer softly, then stared up at the sky without another word for a moment.
She looked lost in thought.
A brief silence fell.
It reminded me of our first meeting, but the atmosphere was worlds apart.
As the quiet stretched on.
"What about you? What's your favorite?"
"Me...?"
I set aside my fatigue for a second to keep the conversation going with Sellin El Soladion.
"Me... well, I don't know yet."
"Nothing that really clicks?"
"Nope, no idea."
I figured there was some deep meaning since she asked out of the blue.
Guess not. Just small talk to break the silence.
Still.
"That's a weird question."
"Hm? Is it?"
"Yeah, people don't usually ask what part of the night sky you like."
They might ask if you like the night sky, sure.
"Now that you mention it, yeah."
"See?"
"But someone asked me the same thing once."
"Someone else? Who?"
"Someone I used to watch this view with long ago."
Past life connection, then.
Dead now, probably.
Or maybe reincarnated as a fellow Hero party member.
But if she'd heard it before...
"Why haven't you decided on an answer yet?"
"...I forgot."
"Forgot?"
The answer?
"Yeah. I had one back then... but I can't remember it now."
"Hm..."
Lines like that can mean a few things.
One: She really forgot.
Two: She doesn't want to say.
Three: She can't say it as her current self.
Judging by the tender emotion in her voice, not the first one.
Probably two or three.
Honestly, no clue.
Doesn't seem like she'll tell me anyway.
Just let it be.
"Sellin, mind if I ask you something?"
"Yeah, go ahead. Now's fine."
'Now's fine' implies not other times.
"When you first saw me, why'd you stick by my side on purpose?"
"Can't I just say... no reason?"
Then why bother asking.
"Just... you reminded me of someone I hadn't seen in forever. Wanted you close."
"Someone you hadn't seen in a while?"
Similar to what the Saintess said.
"Yeah. My feelings for that person were fading when you showed up. So I kept you around. To reignite them."
"And now?"
"Similar reason. Confirming my feelings this time."
Confirming feelings...
The human heart is so damn complicated.
Most people can't even identify their own emotions.
Sellin's words to me probably amount to the same.
"Can I ask you something now?"
"Sure."
"If the things you've built up end up destroying you, what do you think you'd do?"
Tough question.
What I've built? All forgotten to me.
Not even in the records.
So asking me for an answer... honestly, hard.
No idea what to say.
But I get why she's asking.
When I saw Arbel's memories.
Arbel was rotting away, cold as a corpse.
Leashed by the very things she protected.
If Sellin has similar memories.
Probably where this comes from.
And if so.
I had just one short thing to say.
"I'd just tear it all down myself."
"...Huh?"
No clue why she's blurting it out like an idiot.
I mean it literally.
If what I've built grabs my ankle, if what I've protected stabs me... no choice.
I'd have to destroy it to survive.
"You've changed..."
Sellin murmured, barely audible.
"Sellin, I'm just an ordinary guy."
"...You? Ordinary?"
"Dunno how others see me, but yeah, super ordinary. I get mad over little things, happy over trivial stuff."
If someone insults me, it pisses me off.
If something I care about gets ruined by others, I rage.
But a small word of encouragement from someone I like makes my whole day.
Makes me treasure them more.
Even now, talking like this.
In this moment, opening up to each other.
Sellin El Soladion, my feelings for you are shifting by the second.
You started off uncomfortable, kinda off-putting.
But in just these two days, you're feeling a bit more comfortable, more human.
"Sellin, I think people should act human."
"...What?"
Grind.
A faint grinding of teeth from Sellin.
Her voice turned icy in an instant.
Still, I didn't stop.
"Being human is good."
"Getting mad over small stuff... pissed off."
"But bouncing back happy from one word from someone you like... that's life."
Sellin didn't respond.
Just stared at me quietly.
I looked up at the sky.
Countless stars embroidered across it.
Some clouds veiling them, moonlight spilling through the gaps.
The usual beautiful night sky.
"Who... the hell are you, really?"
Sellin said.
I knew now this question from her wasn't simple.
So I could give a clear answer.
"I'm me."
You might be hoping for someone else.
Wishing our past life bond continued here.
But I'm not that person.
Our tie from before was just a vicious cycle of killing each other.
Now, we're just getting to know one another.
"Right... you are you."
"Sellin El Soladion... there are things you can't tell me yet, right?"
"Yeah."
"Tell me later, then."
"Later... that's vague."
What can you do.
I don't know when you'll be ready.
"The last day of midterms... how about then?"
"Three days from now?"
That's soon.
You okay with that?
Whatever, works for me.
"Fine."
"Yeah, by then, you'll have no choice but to know."
"Doesn't sound good."
"It's not."
...If you're saying that already.
"Can I run?"
"You can't."
"Harsh."
"Yeah."
Wonder why she's so firm about it.
No idea.
Maybe she's sure I won't bolt.
Or she has ways to stop me.
"Hey."
"Yeah."
"You are you, and I am me."
"Suddenly?"
"Yeah. Right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Good. That's enough."
What was the real point of her asking that?
This question loaded with something crucial.
I had no clue right now, but...
Still, on the last day of midterms.
Somehow, I felt like I'd find out then. A vague hunch.