Chapter 8
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: Refusal
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"Our little friend, shall we head back to your room for a bit?"
Alarms blared relentlessly. Jin So-yun's father collapsed in despair. Amid the flurry of medical staff rushing about, the nurse who'd locked eyes with me yesterday reached out her hand to me.
I nodded slowly.
"So-yun-ah, please...!"
My sister's image overlapped with the scene. She'd clung to my hand just like that, begging. Please live. Please don't hurt anymore. That dad must be feeling the same way, right?
"Guardian, excuse us! We'll contact you once she's stabilized!"
Dad shuffled out of the ward in tears, turning back toward So-yun over and over.
-Of all times...
-He finally made time today, and this happens...
-Dad's lost so much weight...
-Heard he's been working nonstop for a month straight just to cover the bills...
A few staff members gathered in the central station whispered cautiously about his retreating figure. But why could I hear them?
"Excuse me."
"Yes? Something wrong?"
"Why did So-yun suddenly get sick?"
"Ah, um..."
The nurse trailed off for a moment before tossing the question to the doctor, saying she didn't know much. Sigh. If only I had my phone, I could've just searched that diagnosis from earlier. Should I just ask outright?
"Glioblastoma? Is that it?"
"Huh?"
Not even sure if I'm pronouncing it right. Why are medical terms so damn hard? Back before I changed, I'd tried looking up papers in English, but I gave up after the first sentence.
"Well...?"
"..."
No intention of answering, huh. Fine. I'll check myself once I get my phone. I lay back down in the single room bed.
A strange wave of nausea rose up, and I closed my eyes.
Time passed like that. The professor I'd seen before came back to check my heart. Nothing much had changed, he said as he left. Soon after, Father and Ha-yeon arrived—with the news I'd been dying to hear.
"We can go see Mom today?"
"Yeah. You want to, right? She's still in the ICU, but they okayed a short visit. We haven't gone yet either, so we can all go together."
"We can go now?"
"Yep. Let's tell her and head out."
[ICU (Intensive Care Unit)]
The ICU—the place I'd spent months in. Ironically, Mother was sitting in the exact same room I'd been in.
Her slightly pale, gaunt face brought tears to my eyes unbidden. Mother stared blankly into space, absently rubbing her right wrist.
"Mom!"
"Ha-yeon...?"
Mother looked over, then suddenly screamed.
"What have you done! What the hell have you done!"
"...Mom? Calm down. You heard all the explanations, didn't you?"
"You're doing this even with Ha-jin right here?"
"Ha-jin? Ha! You call him Ha-jin?"
"...Mom?"
Mother yanked at my gown, dragging me toward her. She roughly tore off the mask I was wearing with both hands. I froze under her sharp gaze—eyes I'd never seen before.
"How is this Ha-jin at all!? You're lying because you're scared I'll try to die again, aren't you?! How stupid do you think I am? The height, the face—nothing matches our Ha-jin!"
Ah. Did her nails scratch my cheek a bit? Why does it hurt so much?
"Mom, what are you..."
"What did you say to Ha-jin?!"
"My son! Where's my son!?"
-Grip.
Mother's hands wrapped around my throat. Our eyes met. Her face looked so vividly clear today. Had Mom aged this much? Look at those wrinkles. Total grandma vibes, my mom. That's why I told her to ease up at work.
Mom, seriously? You've gotten so old. Squeeze harder. It doesn't hurt. No, it does. It hurts so bad. Why does it hurt like this?
"Guh..."
"Give me back my son!! Give him back!!"
Sorry, Mom. Guess I'm not your son after all.
/
"Mom's lost her mind for real!!?"
"You!"
Ha-yeon roughly yanked Mother's arm away, and Father immediately restrained her with brute force. Leaving the convulsing Mother, Ha-yeon checked on her little brother.
Red marks stood out starkly on his neck, tears streaked his cheek. And his eyes—his eyes?
"What are you staring at? Don't look."
"Ah."
Empty eyes. The color had changed too. A different shade from before. Black. But no pupils visible.
Eyes closest to what they call dead eyes. His voice was endlessly gloomy, to an unpleasant degree.
Stickier and lower than his usual husky tone. That kind of voice.
But the most alien thing was the atmosphere. Gloomy and dark, an eerie vibe with no spark of life.
Before they knew it, even Father—and Mother, who'd been thrashing—stared at Ha-jin with dazed eyes.
"What were you expecting? Life is nothing but suffering. You still haven't realized it. No, now you have, haven't you? The goal of every living thing is death."
-Thud.
Ha-jin brought both hands to his neck.
"You probably can't, so I'll do it for you."
"H-Hey, stop! Hey!"
"Ha-jin-ah!"
"That's far enough, right?"
Another voice rang out. Ha-jin's hands trembled faintly, as if battling for control of his body.
Recalling it was the voice from before, Ha-yeon reflexively looked into his eyes.
The left was still that pitch-black dead eye with no pupil, but the right eye gleamed with that blood-red hue from before.
"Don't interfere. You know it too, don't you? This body's owner doesn't want to live anymore. It doesn't matter to you or me."
"Not sure yet. If he really wanted to die, I'd have come out, right? And you think strangling yourself here will kill you? In a hospital? You can't even break your own neck with this body. Asphyxiation would take way too long."
"Hm..."
"Anyway, that's enough, right?"
"Fine, but you promise too—if the owner really wants to die, you'll help."
"Obviously. I've got a perfect way to die, unlike you!"
"Hmph. All talk."
-Thump.
Ha-yeon instinctively caught Ha-jin's collapsing body. The three of them fixed their gazes silently on the unconscious boy. Soon, Ha-yeon came to her senses, hugged him, and called for the staff.
"Please check on our little brother!"
/
Days later, after psychological counseling and medication, Ha-yeon's stabilized mother faced an unbelievable reality once more.
"...So, that kid really is our Ha-jin?"
"Yes. Should I show you the CCTV footage? You saw them putting him in the coffin, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Ha-yeon-ah, show her. Feels like we've watched it hundreds of times."
Ha-yeon played the footage she'd rewatched countless times. Mother stared at her hands in a daze.
"What have I... done."
"...When you cut your wrists, it was Ha-jin who climbed out of the coffin and saved you."
"Sigh... Mom. Apologize later."
"Anyway, Ha-yeon and I came up with names. How about A-yeon?"
"Huh? Oh... a name? We have to change it?"
"Of course. Think how confusing it must be. He's already been declared dead officially. Gotta start fresh. Once he's fully recovered and discharged, we'll send him back to school. Make new friends... Won't be easy, but."
"A-yeon, Seol A-yeon? Pretty. You came up with it, Ha-yeon-ah?"
"Yeah. But you saw earlier, right, Mom? It's DID—Dissociative Identity Disorder, where multiple personalities form. The red one, Dad and I saw before... but the black one's new."
"His life's not in danger, right?"
"Well..."
"Dad, Mom needs to know."
"Sigh, yeah. More tests needed, but his heart's functioning so poorly, he needs a transplant..."
"Heart transplant?"
"Yeah. We put him on the waiting list right away, but without a donor... they say he might not last a year..."
"Mom, the problem is Ha-jin—no, A-yeon—won't accept it."
"...Why?"
"He says he's already dead, so living longer with a transplant is pointless..."
"Then you persuade him too. Or is it hopeless already...?"
"Ah..."
"Anyway, help convince Ha-jin—no, A-yeon—once he's better. All medical bills are covered. Our debts got cleared too. And that damn insurance even paid out the death benefit. No farming this year."
"...Why? Why's the hospital suddenly paying?"
"...They're publishing papers using Ha-jin's—no, A-yeon's—medical records. We got it in exchange for consenting to the data use."
"...It won't leak to the press or anything, right?"
"Nah. Ha-yeon and I double-checked multiple times. Only about 20 people in this hospital even know A-yeon changed. No farming anyway this year, so just focus on recovering. Don't blame yourself too much... Apologize properly when you see A-yeon later."
"Yeah, Mom. You have to apologize later. Bluntly, did he get sick because he wanted to? No. How absurd must it feel? Sick for over half a year, finally dies, wakes up and everything's changed."
"Yeah..."
"But what to do. That personality from earlier..."
"Come to think of it, Dad, didn't the red one say it'd help too?"
"Yeah, I heard that... Said it has a perfect way to die... The red one reflects desires, right?"
"Ah... This is bad."
Ha-yeon let out a deep sigh. Meaning the red personality emerged whenever A-yeon intensely craved death.
The black one had openly tried strangling himself. The red one had tried gouging his eye just because someone blocked the door. The crazy one who'd jammed a huge syringe needle into his arm and laughed, This is pain!
"Anyway, Mom, that was Ha-jin. A-yeon now, but. You accept it too."
"Right. The child you carried for ten months. No matter how the appearance changed, it's our kid."
"Yeah..."
-Excuse me, guardians. Visiting hours are almost up...
"Ah, yes! We're leaving now!"
"Take care of yourself, Mom."
"Yeah... Oh, could you tell A-yeon that Mom's really sorry, I messed up big time? The doctor said facing me now might make it worse."
"Yeah..."
/
"You want to live?"
"Of course I do! Doesn't my ice bro?"
"...Not sure. Call me A-yeon. Seems like that's my name now. So-yun, you—what's the point of living?"
"Nickname's Heavenly Demon! Anyway, what for? I'm gonna be a singer!"
"Why?"
"Dunno? 'Cause I want to? Honestly, idol's a stretch for my face, so I wanna be a guitarist singer!"
"Why? You're pretty enough."
"Not quite that league... I know what I know. And singing while dancing is brutal!"
"...You've tried?"
"Huh, how'd you know?"
"But So-yun, singing while playing guitar—isn't that hard too?"
I'd learned piano decently, but singing while handling an instrument? Not easy unless you're a pro.
"Haven't tried that yet, so who knows! Gotta try first! That's what Dad says—do it, then think!"
Isn't it the opposite...? How did So-yun's dad raise her?